mako reactions
by themaskedmodel
Summary: Follow the lives of Kira - ex-drug lord, and Ilia, an ex-model. Relocated from Midgar to Wutai, the pair strike rich when they discover oil on their property, embarking on creating a new city. With the help of the WRO, Shinra, & their Turk men, the two stir up plenty of intrigue & drama. Filled w/characters old & new. (pls review! ongoing blog- makoreactions . popchoi . com)
1. the company - fuck the company

Where did we leave off... It's been years since I've had the inkling to share my thoughts and life stories. The world is a much different place. Meteor come and gone. Geostigma. Deepground.

But I'm gonna go back a little further. To the night that really changed everything for me...

All evening I lingered in the corner dragging on a cigarette. I wasn't really smoking - the cherry kept going out. It was simply to enjoy the red lipstick stains and the weight poised in between my fingers. Reno mingled, Tseng by his side. Ilia faithfully stood by me, arm rested into the crook of mine.

I hated these parties. I hated the people and everything they stood for. How could they possibly be celebrating with terrorist activity overtaking the city? It was clear the Shinra were targets of serious hate crimes, yet some of the most influential empolyees were all gathered in one place. Bad move if you ask me. So what if I'm paranoid.

Reno glanced at me with apologetic eyes. His attitude tottered between boredom and having a ball. I wondered why this was the life he chose. Then I smiled to myself because I knew exactly why.

Late that night we went for a dip. We lounged, staring up at the sky through the polished glass of our roof. Reno held my hand, and we clung to each other in a way that seemed like saying goodbye. I had never felt closer to him… or further away. I visually traced the outline of his profile while he gazed upward, eyes glazed over with thought.

He spoke, "I want you to go. Live at our house in Wutai."

"…Why?"

"There's some serious shit going down, and… I have a feeling the city's gonna turn into a battlefield." He broke his stare, glanced at me and caressed my face. "Baby, I want you safe."

After a moment of eyes locking he glanced back to the ceiling.

A long pause as I stared at him. "This has something to do with AVALANCHE."

Silence.

"Hm. That's what I thought. What's up?"

"I can't tell you… the company-"

"Fuck the company." I interrupted.

He turned and gave me a cool look. "If it were that easy..."

"It is. Reno, just tell me what's going on…and we'll find a way to make it better."

"Baby, please... the less you know, the better."

"Pft. Whatever with that cliche bullshit. Who the fuck do you think you're talkin to? I've been through thick and thin and knife fights and fucking in a pool of blood with you. And ya can't tell me what's going on?" I stood, wringing the water out of my hair. "I'll just go. Stay at Nami's tonight. If you don't wanna talk to me about what the fuck is happening."

Reno jumped up and grabbed my wrist. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you always get so dramatic?! Why are you so quick to _run _just cuz I said something you don't like?"

"You're asking me to leave, so I'm just doing it my own way."

There was a silence between us, as we stared each other down. I was tired, I felt tired, I'm sure I looked tired. Reno looked hurt, pleading….distressed.

He finally gave in. "Kira. I have to drop the sector 7 plate."

"…You what."

Another silence. I laughed and shook my head, tearing my gaze away from his. That's all it ever took with Reno… a look. "Shinra finally figure out AVALANCHE is hiding at Tifa's?" I smirked.

"Think about it," he shook his head, showing his inner frustration. "If they knew that, I wouldn't have to drop the entire plate, now would I?"

"Right. Then they narrowed it down, and now they're gonna murder - _you're_ gonna murder - thousands of people just to get Tifa and her fuckin' boys? Tch. Reno, you know 7th Heaven is their hide out. Why don't you give up the info?"

"And risk the Shinra finding out I've been holding this information for so long? Traitors don't go unpunished…"

I knew that was the case, but I was still pissed. Disgusted with the corner we were backed into. "Ya know. You always made it seem like the Turks were their own separate entity…"

"We-"

"But when it really comes down to it, you're just Shinra's dogs. Funny isn't it, all the things you get away with because of your 'position' in the company, and here it is - coming to bite you in the ass. Not quite how you had it planned, huh?"

"If it wasn't for my 'position,' whether I'm Turk or dog or whatever, you wouldn't even be here right now."

"Yea, so it is. And I'm grateful for everything we've done together. But things are changing, all around us. And if you drop that plate… there is no way we can stay together. I'm no angel, but I cannot believe you are even considering this. For Shinra?! For a fucking illusion… for a non reality."

"It _is_ a reality. And I chose it - and all the things it comes with. And I will do anything to keep us safe - to keep _you_ safe."

"I rather us live together as fugitives. And as I said - if you do this, there is no 'us.'"

Only silence.

"Just go to Wutai. We'll work this out later." He got up and walked away. Reno's way of saying the discussion was over and his decision was final.

"Fine," I called after him. "Maybe it is for the best. I want to leave as soon as possible. Arrange a plane for dawn."

He spun around. "That's in a few hours."

"I'm aware."

"Kira, I'm not scheduled to drop the plate for another couple days. Can you stay a little longer?"

"Why? And pretend I don't know what's happening? Stay by your side 'til the last minute? No thanks."

"Kira..."

"What? I'm doing what you want. You can join me in Wutai if you like, and start a new life."

"Kira!" He rushed over to me and wrapped his hands around my arms, "You know I want to! But I can't. Whatever peace we'd find wouldn't last. Shinra'd just destroy it."

I knew he was right, I just so desperately wanted it to be different. The strain in mine and Reno's relationship as of late was obvious to not only us but everyone in our lives. We were changing as people, drifting onto two separate paths.

"I'll pack. You schedule the plane." With that I loosened myself from his grip and went to begin the arduous task of cramming my life into our fleet of suitcases.

I turned to look at him one more time... "Reno. Let go."

This is an ongoing blog! For more please visit - .com


	2. love you more

_[from the perspective of Rafael Vida...]_

I didn't expect my life to change so drastically after the plate fell. After falling stars and even disease. Funny, how fuzzy my childhood is to me. All I know was that it was filled with Sector 4 galas, parties, and bright sparkling lights from chandeliers and blinding colors. I don't remember any of them, they just blur together like a digital glitch.

But the memory of the fateful night where my fate splintered into fragments, still replayed in the back of my mind as lucid as a Midgar plasma screen. And since then, every new memory I've made has engraved itself into my consciousness...

My world stopped when I heard the news bulletin.

Eyes glazed over, shocked at the fact I had lost a huge chunk of my universe.

Biggs…

My body broke down as the information processed through my central nervous system. He's gone. He's gone and I wasn't able to see him, one last time.

"Tomorrow babe, I'll visit Seven after I finish my shift at the tea house. Don't worry I'll be there. I won't skip out on you this time, haha. I'm just glad your safe." I didn't even need a reply, his smirk radiated through the receiver of my PHS.

"I told you we pulled it off, no problem! You've always had a knack for worrying too much." His voice alone sets my skin into a flurry of needles. "I love you." I chimed. "Love you more."

And now never again would I hear his comforting voice. Fuck. Fucking fuck. Shinra….AVALANCHE…The fallen plate…My whole world gone to hell.

My body shivers with sobs. But wait, maybe they made it out okay? If I call 7th Heaven, maybe Tifa will answer? It was impossible though, the plate completely smashed the slums to pieces.

"ARGHHHHHHH!" I unleash a wail, catching the attention of my family in the other room.

"Honey, did you hear about what happened?!" My mother's voice calls out from the den.

I have to see for myself. If I have to I'll claw through the rubble until I find him. I'll cradle his body and whisper our plans to visit my abuela in Costa del Sol. We've always talked about that trip…

"Honey?" My mother Catalina, bless her soul, peeked her ebony haired head into my room. She's immediately alarmed when laying eyes on me. Red, raw, and freshly broken. She then realize it. "Is he…..?"

"Mama…." I collapse into her arms, unearthing a chain of fervent sobs.

* * *

The tea house was busy that night, people ordering left and right. Teriyaki, sashimi, hot sake, cold sake! Damn, I'm only one person! But this is the attitude of most people living in higher end sectors. They believe they're entitled to any whim their minds can possibly fathom.

Most of the clientele that attend the Starlet House are Shinra employees. Because it's so close to the main building, the corporate big wigs of the company choose our locale to unwind. I nearly cringe as I place a teapot and a set of cups onto a tray; hearing Scarlet and Heidagger's obnoxious laughter ring throughout the main room didn't motivate me to perform a job well done.

"Where's the waiter? I need more sake! Don't make me wait all day you idiots!" A tipsy Scarlet shakes her empty cup in the air. She sends a glare of sharpened knives my way.

"You! More sake! Now!" Heidagger thunders "I'd stop if I were you tomato face." Scarlet scowls; "Shut it fat ass!" A sigh escapes my lips as I grab an unopened bottle of sake. This shift was becoming straight up unfortunate.

I was about to leave with the tray to check on my tables, when his voice stopped me. "Guess who."

Biggs, beaming with a confident grin, looms over me. I can't help but break through my irritation with a smile. "What brings you to Sector 4 lover." I wink. Biggs ego inflates right before my eyes as his grin sharpens. "I'm here to pick you up silly boy. I'm taking you out of this self-righteous shit house."

I shake my head. I knew Biggs affiliation with AVALANCHE brought a sense of judgment to my life style. Being born and bred in Sector 4 and all, he always raised a nose to everything around me. But I didn't mind it, the fact Biggs saw more to life than flash and glitz drew me to him. He saw me for me, not some rich kid from the upper east side.

"I leave in twenty-minutes. Just hold on-" "Nope. Your leaving _now_." Biggs grabbed my wrist and yanked me into the darkness.

CRASH. The tray of tea clattered to the floor, the teapot smashing into several porcelain pieces. I giggle like a child, unsure of where the night will take me. It doesn't matter, if it's with Biggs then there's no need for worry. I'll be safe.

* * *

It was a drab day at Junon port. A bit windy and cold. I ran a hand through my black hair and pulled my red hooded jacket closer to my body. Slowly but surely the ship settled in, docking so that the crowd waiting could board it.

"All boarding to Wutai! All boarding to Wutai please!" called one of the sailors, waving his hand. People began filing in.

I felt like a phantom among the chattering crowd. Another sailor ripped tickets and indicated passengers to their seats. Eventually it was my turn. The ship mate tore my ticket in two, handing me one half. "Mr. Rafael Vida, your seat's this way.."

He pointed and I followed. I said nothing. Thankfully my seat was next to a window so I can watch the sea as we set sail.

The ship route was in a northwest arc, passing Costa del Sol, in between North Corel and the arctic regions. Passing Midgar as well. I gazed out the window at the dark city while the ship passed it's coast. I bit my lip in frustration. I feel nothing but hatred.


	3. the socialite

_[from the perspective of Kira Ruiz...]_

So now let's fast forward a bit - about three years after the plate fell. You don't need to know every detail of my life during the Meteor crisis, the Geostigma crisis, and the Omega crisis - so I'll montage and get to the point. (I mean really... how many fucking near-end-of-days crises can one planet go through?)

Most of those years were spent in a drunken stupor anyhow. No matter how obvious it was Reno and I were over, it didn't make it hurt any less. We spent three years in sparse contact. When we did come together, it was strained or sometimes downright vicious. And before you even go there, yes - there were times we still made love.

We never bothered getting divorced. But we made certain... arrangements.

I spent most of my time with Nami (and before you even go there, it's not like that), who had fled Shinra for his own  
reasons. Ilia came to live with us, following Tseng's similar request to get out of the city. She was fairly reclusive, but just having her presence near made me feel at ease. Rullien would pop in whenever her mysterious life would allow it. But other than those select few, I left behind everyone and everything in Midgar. I stopped dealing. I stopped using (if you don't count alcohol and the occasional joint). And I stopped caring.

Nami and I pissed away our time goofing around the rather large estate Reno and I owned in Wutai. I think we watched every movie known to man. We made up songs and screamed and danced all night. High and drunk. We did our best to ignore all the dramatic bullshit going on around us. We never watched the news. It's as if we wanted to pretend the world out there didn't exist.

We tried to throw ourselves into the local nightlife, but let's face it - Wutai didn't have one. There were a few bars that I absolutely loved, even more so than any in the slums back home, but I could hardly call that a night life.

Though I have to say... there was a mysterious familiarity and charm to Wutai that Midgar lacked. Maybe it was my halfling blood talking, but I wanted to see Wutai rise again to its former glory. I wanted to see it takes its place among the modern world. And I wanted to be the one to take her there.

Well my will has always been pretty strong. My wish was coming true.

While those AVALANCHE hero types were fighting Omega (and I was barely paying attention other than enjoying the occasional photographed eye candy of the tall, dark, and gothic one called Vincent), I found oil on our property.

Suddenly Nami and I were thrown out of our reclusive, debauched lifestyle. There was work to be done. I stopped drinking, and for the first time in years I put my game face on. Have to say, it felt pretty good. I had forgotten I had it in me.

It wasn't too long before Reno came knocking on our door. If there was money to be made, you better believed he wanted in on it. At first it annoyed me, but as usual it was Reno's connections that got everything off the ground and running. And though we had our differences, Reno didn't complain one bit when I demanded 80% of the profits. He after all was a part of Shinra and now the WRO. He would want for nothing ever again. I, on the other hand, only had this chunk of land and some meager left over savings from our drug days that were quickly running out after three years of doing nothing. No matter how much of an asshole Reno tries to come off as, his soft spot for me was legendary.

What can I say? I'm a spoiled fucking princess.

And then the money started pouring in. I remodeled the estate, added guest houses and a large pool, expansive gardens and even a private airport for Reno's heli and planes. Then from there, I did something very unexpected of Kira Ruiz. I decided to give back.

Consulting with very avant-garde architects, I began to build a town for all the workers at my drilling rig. Can you believe that? My very own city. All designed to my liking. And oh... how grand it was. With the gorgeous, lush landscape of Wutai to frame it (we were North of the Da-Chao, very close to the coast), we built the world's most breath-taking destination. The perfect mix of modern and traditional Wutain architecture, blended in seamlessly with the wild vegetation.

We called her Tian Tan - Southern Wutain for 'Temple of Heaven.' Maybe it was strange to use Southern Wutain in the North, but the South was where my origins were from. Having the two united felt like a symbolic step forward into the future of my home - both new and ancestral.

For ambitious little old me, having a lovely little town for my community of workers and their families wasn't enough. No. I wanted Wutai to be the next hot spot - international. I wanted booming business, skyscrapers, art, culture, and an enviable nightlife.

Godo, sharing my same lust for success, was quick to join my cause. Even his daughter Yuffie, once member of AVALANCHE, was eager to help. We began incentive programs, opened up Wutai to immigration. Affordable land, affordable rent, low interest business loans, grants for artists. Let's be clear, I wanted Tian Tan to be a cultural center, not a boring city full of dregs. Wutai's doors were open to the rest of the planet as they all scrambled to start new lives.

Reeve, commissioner of the WRO, urged me to run for Mayor of Tian Tan. I laughed at this.

"I'm a business woman and a socialite, Reeve. Not a politician," I told him. "Besides, this is Wutai. Things work a little different here. Lord Godo will rule until his death, in which his daughter will take over."

He gave a knowing smile. "Ah yes, of course. You and Yuffie have grown pretty close as of late, have you not?"

I chuckled. "Yes, we have. As I said, I'm a socialite."

It was the truth. Throughout my many phases - slum dealer, drug lord, and now wealthy energy tycoon turned altruist - I was most importantly a socialite. The perfect, gracious hostess with the perfect style and perfect connections all rolled into one. Throwing the best parties. Smoking the best weed. Showcasing the best artists and musicians.

Tian Tan really would be a temple of heaven with my patronage.


	4. wheel of fortune

_[from the perspective of Rafael Vida...]_

Why Wutai? The reason was fairly simple. It was a lush and exotic location I've dreamed about visiting since attending class at the capitalist pigpens they call a private academies in Sector 2. I remember in our world history and geography class, even when we were studying the humdrum alps surrounding the Forgotten Capital, I'd be on the textbook page describing Wutai's birth and independence. I'd stare at the prismatic photos of the land and it's architecture; I'd read about their cultural customs, holiday's, and traditions, over and over again. Although I couldn't help but frown when the teacher reached the lesson detailing Wutai's humiliating loss against the Electric Company.

My parents promised we'd go after I graduated but it never happened. Unfortunately I've only been as far as Rocket Town and that was years ago. Our normal destination was Costa del Sol's plateau of paradise, where my mother was born.

My father comes from a small cactaur ranch on Cactus Island, far off the coast of Gongaga. I've never been there myself, and my father wants nothing to do with his family, so I'm not well informed about that side of my heritage. Cactus Island seems desolate, looking at it's size. It's not a place I'd particularly go to in the first place.

I didn't have much money when I got off the boat. As stupid as it sounds, I had to put myself in the shoes of Biggs as soon as I stepped onto Wutai's soil. Being a kid from Sector 4, barely 21 years of age, I didn't have to worry about much. I never really took care of myself, my guardians were a mix of my parents bank accounts and Bigg's compassionate hands. He was good to me.

_Was_. I had to take his example and become independent. right here and right now. Despite his close affiliation with AVALANCHE, Biggs knew how to take care of himself, ontop of worrying for my own well being.

I held back the bitter tears and lost myself in the pop up story book of Wutai. I drifted from hostel to hostel, exploring Wutai Village and even migrating to the south past the Do Chao mountains.

Naturally my money ran out and I got stuck. Wutai no longer became a place of wonder as it's environment morphed into critical reality. _Time to get a fucking reality check Rafael_...

I guess I was just trying to escape the hurt and emptiness by filling my life with Wutai's rich culture. But that didn't help matters. I started working odd jobs to make a living; gardening, fisherman's aid, courier work...Anything. I didn't care, I didn't want to leave defeated. My parents would take me back but whatever. I couldn't stand returning to Midgar. _Motherfucking Midgar_. If all else fails I suppose I can stay with grandma and my aunts back in Costa. Clearly it was a confusing time for me.

Thank the Lifestream I managed to get a job as a bartender at the popular Turtle's Paradise. I also became a fortuneteller on the side (remember, Wutai was a tourist attraction at the time), reading the cards and palms of tourists and even citizens a like. Randomly, I was pretty good at deciphering the individual futures of the masses, just not my own. Whenever I tried dealing the cards to myself I only received jumbled messages and blurry prophecies. My apparent gift belonged to the masses.

"So what does this one mean?" Cherry, a flirty cocktail waitress obsessed with sweets  
pointed to one of the cards laid out on the table. She balanced a martini glass in her free hand, taking a sloppy sip as she mashed her hot pink nail against the card. Turtle's Paradise was closing and Cherry asked me if I could give her reading in regard to another of her fickle love interests. She was a nice girl, with mismanaged priorities.

I look down at the card, it's the Wheel of Fortune. It was right side up, in the lens position of the Celtic spread. "Well, looks like things will be looking up for you." Cherry, whose face was blazoned with a drunken crimson, squealed in delight.

"Oh my god, I know he was into me! Yes! Yes!" I tried matching her enthusiasm with a small smile. The Wheel of Fortune...If I had to describe it, I'd say it was the most aloof card in the tarot deck. Wheels will always continue to turn, good fortune becomes bad fortune, and vice versa all the time.

Honestly, my personal wheel's at a grinding halt, completely upside down, away from any sort of luck I could use to somehow understand and figure out where exactly what direction my life was going in.


	5. nothing's shocking

_[from the perspective of Kira Ruiz...]_

Turtle's Paradise became my fave bar in Wutai. I know that sounds cliche, but I couldn't help it. I loved the cheesy, over-the-top decor. And despite its tourist trap reputation, it was actually popular amongst the locals. The sushi was great, and the alcohol was top shelf.

It was quite a trek to old town from my estate, but I'd make it at least once a week. I'd reserve the best table in the house and usually'd show up with an entourage. It was also my choice spot to meet loan and grant program potentials for interviews. Perfect for when I didn't want strangers in my home.

Well I should've remembered it was Reno's fave spot too. Isn't it weird bumping into your own husband? When he doesn't even tell you he's in town.

I saw him from across the room. We met eyes, and it was as if we'd seen each other for the first time. It had been six months in actuality. I took a sip from my drink as did he from his. A little smirk from each of us, and slowly we made our way to each other.

When we met in the crowd, we embraced. His arms around me felt safe, like home. He took a deep breath in, smelling my neck and hair.

"Hey, my beautiful wife," he said, "what ya doing here?"

"Meeting."

"Mmm business as usual with you."

I grinned coyly. "You of all people know that's not true."

A soft rumble of laughter. "Yea, I guess you're right."

I dunno what came over us. Maybe it was because it had been so long since we'd seen each other. Or maybe it was because we were in better moods these days. Maybe we were both a little tipsy. Without an ounce of hesitation, we leaned in for a kiss. It wasn't one sided or pushy - it was completely fucking equal and completely fucking natural. And it was perfect. Soft and passionate. Just a little too long for a public setting, but short enough to not raise attention. And it hinted of deeper desires, promises.

When we pulled away we stared at each other for a long moment, passive and serene.

"What brings you to Wutai? Unannounced," I asked.

"I'll tell ya later," Reno replied, his eyes shifted behind me. "Looks like you got a visitor."

I glanced over my shoulder. Indeed there was a young man standing at my table, looking around. For me no doubt.

I turned back to Reno. "That'd be my seven o'clock." I started to walk away but spun to face him once more when I felt the weight of his hand on my arm.

"We'll finish this later," he whispered darkly.

A shiver went down my spine and my heart raced. Good gods, how did this man still have such an effect me?

With the faintest of flirtatious grins, I walked away. Purposeful swagger, fancy drink in hand, black designer suit and half open button-down silk blouse. The man waiting for me caught on that I was the one he was searching for.

"Hi," he said. "You must be Kira Ruiz?"

"Yes, that's me. And you're Rafael Vida?"

"Yes! It's nice to meet you."

He only looked a bit nervous. Overall pretty grounded, vibrant energy. I motioned for him to sit as I slid into the circular booth. He complied and patiently waited while I lit a cigarette.

"Would you like a drink."

"I'm ok actually-"

"That wasn't a question." I was already pouring a glass of cold sake and placing it in front of him. "A cheers to start the meeting."

"Kanpai!"

"Kanpai."

A clinking of glasses and bottoms up.

"So," I blew out a cloud of smoke. "Your application says you want to start a tea house. Please, elaborate."


	6. the deal has been made

_[from the perspective of Rafael Vida...]_

It's been three years since I arrived in Wutai. Three years since the plate fell, three years since Biggs, my lover, and the majority of AVALANCHE's crew were killed by Shinra and the Turks.

Rumors had been circuiting through the common crowd. Whispers of economic change swept through the north, fortelling Wutai's brilliant return to global relevance in Gaia. All thanks to the oil rig heiress, _Kira Ruiz_. She was apparently the key to it all.

I stood there at Turtle's Paradise, cradling a binder full of blueprints and ideas. At this point I've become one of the supervisors here at the bar. I guess I'm that good when it comes to high management, a talent I can't help but thank my parents for. They managed Midgar's transient systems after all.

Speaking casually with commoner's informed me that Kira was looking for investments to make. Businesses that can assist in restoring Wutai's weakened economy, relying on national businesses other than the tourist riff raff the countries been known for the past several years.

I haven't even spoken to her over the phone. Just e-mail. I have seen her several times here at the Turtle's Paradise in passing. She always reserves a table in the back.

We set up a meeting, today a 7pm. I observe a woman with long natural hair, a face as sharp as whittled bone, speaking with a red head in a suit in the middle of the bar. A Turk.

I frowned. My resentment towards Shinra has not subsided since then. As soon as the man bid her farewell, I made my approach. Cherry, several feet away serving drinks at another table, winked at me. A gesture of good luck. And shit, did I need it. Otherwise I'll be stuck managing this tourist trap for the rest of my life. I needed to do _something_.

"Hi," I said. "You must be Kira Ruiz?"

"Yes, that's me. And you're Rafael Vida?"

"Yes! It's nice to meet you."

We sat down. As close to her as I was now, it was clear Kira had Wutaian blood residing inside her. She had their eyes.

"Would you like a drink."

"I'm ok actually-"

"That wasn't a question."

I swallowed as if I had a lump in the middle of my throat. She really knew how to cut down to the chase. She poured me a drink. As soon as we said Kanpai to one another and struck our glasses together, the woman immediately inquired about my plans for a tea house business.

"...W-Well, it's a bit of a business venture. But with a high pay out if all goes well." I placed the binder on the wooden table top and opened it to the first page. My hands shook slightly with anxiety, but I hide it as best I could.

"In the grand scheme of things, I'd like to build twin tea and geisha house pagoda's for the community. The first two floors will be dedicated to the tea house, a restaurant and bar incorporated into the third floor, a small performance theater on the fourth, and the fifth floor will be divided into private rooms for my geishas to entertain clients in."

I gestured to the page, which had a rough sketch of both pagodas, arrows pointing to what goes on, on what floor.

"The second pagoda will be primarily a dormitory for the girls. That is, up until the fifth floor which..." I coughed.

"...will be my living quarters." Sure, that sounded a little selfish. But I had to think about myself as well. Living in a shared room in a crappy hostel in Wutai Village just wasn't cutting it anymore. There was an amused giggle under her breath, but I decided to continue my pitch.

"I've worked at a tea house in Midgar for most of my young adult life, at the Starlet House in Sector 4...That's where I'm from. I've also been a manager at Turtle's Paradise for a year's time now so I believe I have the experience to host my own establishment." I stated in the most professional manner I could fathom.

"Ah, I remember the Starlet House. My husband was a frequent customer," she said. "How long since you left Midgar?"

"I've been living in Northern Wutai for roughly three years now. Even before I got here I was pretty fascinated by it's culture." I smiled. "I'd always read about it in school. That being said, I've familiarized myself with the culture and can speak their native tongue quite fluently, even though it's nearly extinct now. I know how the geisha system works and I promise to be a responsible and respectful owner...Senpai."

I bowed my head to her. I've bared my soul. I watched as she took another shot of sake. The looks of a very pleased smile on her lips.

"Well. Seems like you've given this a lot of thought," she said. "I have to say... This is exactly the type of project I can get behind. I love it."

"Really?!"

"Yes. The only thing it's missing is a spa. We'll put one in on the basement levels. And I have my reservations about a geisha house being managed by a man, but something tells me you'll take good care of these girls." She smiled.

My eyes widened. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. Of course, being a gay man I had no intention but to treat these women with the best care. Haha, I'm sure Kira already knew that about me though. It didn't take a genius to figure out, I have a timid nature. Let's put it that way.

"Furthermore," she continued. "Not that you come off as the pimp type, but this place will not turn into a Honey Bee Inn. There will be no prostitution, it will be a geisha house in the most traditional sense. Of course, we cannot control who the girls bring back to their rooms or what they decide to do on a... freelance basis. But that will be kept completely private. I want this to remain very upscale. Yes?"

"Of course!" _Upscale_ is exactly the word I'd use for the establishment. Don't forget, Sector 4 was my home for 21 years. I know how to do upscale.

"Wonderful. Then you've been approved for a grant."

"Oh! A grant? I was inquiring about a loan..."

"I know. I don't often do this, but I've taken a personal interest in your business venture. I want to be involved. I can provide everything you need to make this Tan Tian's pride and joy. A loan would only limit you."

I was in shock. But that tantalizing feeling vanished as my fid filled with a deluge of ideas and creativity. "A spa. Of course. That sounds perfect! Thank you Kira. Thank you." She flashed me a royal smirk as we both reached out to shake hands. Sparks of excitement fluttered down my spinal column. I twitched with anticipation. The deal has been made.


	7. the inner circle

_[from the perspective of Kira Ruiz...]_

The meeting with Rafael Vida was more interesting than I had expected. There were very few people I had awarded with a grant - only artists, musicians, architects and the like. But there was something about his tea house that intrigued me. It was exactly what Wutai needed - an establishment honoring her old traditions, only with a modern twist. What his idea represented to me was beyond commerce. It was a work of art in its own right, a place with unlimited potential to bring art and culture to Tian Tan.

Galas, fashion shows, art openings, music, dancing. Five star chefs, exotic teas and drinks. The best entertainment. My head spun with all the wonderful things we could do together.

I rose from the table and threw down a generous amount of gil. Rafael stood as well.

"I'll schedule a meeting with my team. Can you be at my estate by 11am tomorrow?" I handed him my card. "This is my address and phone number."

"Yes! I'll be there!" he was beaming. "This is so exciting!"

I smiled at his enthusiasm. I wondered if there was ever a time in my life I let my emotions give me away so much. So often I remained controlled and contained. It was a welcome new energy in my life.

"This is only the beginning," I said with my usual aloof simper. "As for now, go ahead and give your two weeks notice. You won't have time to work anymore. I'll happily cover your living expenses. And it may work to our advantage if you lived in one of the guest houses on my property until the pagodas are built."

The look on his face was priceless. I don't think he was expecting this amount of generosity from me. Despite all the things I was doing for Wutai, I knew what the rumors said about me - cold, cunning, calculated bitch. There was some truth to that, but it was only half the story.

"S-sure... I'll give that some consideration."

I liked his caution. He was definitely gaining my respect as a business partner and possibly even a friend.

"Goodnight, Rafael."

"Goodnight, Kira. Again, thank you."

With a quick bow of my head I walked out of Turtle's Paradise. When I got outside, my phone buzzed with a new text message.

_"Hey baby - had to leave. Duty calls. Talk soon. x Reno"_

Why was I not surprised. Couldn't even believe I let myself feel the pangs of disappointment. And who knew what 'soon' meant to Reno. It could mean he'd show up on my doorstep later that night, or it could mean disappearing for another six months.

I walked along the bridges and narrow paths of the old village. There was a no automobile rule here, so I had to leave my car at the outside of town. It wasn't such a long walk. I used the time to email everyone about the meeting the next morning.

Rafael showed up at my door fifteen minutes early. The guy was definitely growing on me. I invited him in and offered tea and rice cakes. He was delighted.

"Your home is absolutely amazing," he said.

"Thanks. I'm quite proud of it."

"You know, Kira. You're a lot more proper than I imagined you to be."

"Hah! I'll take that as a compliment. But don't let that sense of propriety fool you," I winked. "I was born and bred in the slums."

"Well you could've fooled me. What's the story behind your success?"

There was a knock on my door. We'd have to continue this conversation later...

Ling, my Feng Shui consultant. Kluas, my architect. Nami, my best friend and accountant. We all met regarding the future of the twin pagodas. On the North-East side of town, we would build Tian Tan's first tall buildings. Rafael was ecstatic, and I have to admit so was I.

Rafael insisted that we name them the Biggs' towers. I saw a sentimental and painful gaze in his eyes when he mentioned this. I decided not to pry. But I have to say, I liked the idea of the establishment being associated with 'big.'

Blah blah I won't bore you with the business details, because truth be told that shit bored me too. I only cared about the creative parts and the end product. The gritty legal &amp; logistical details I'd leave to the professionals.

Everyone filed out of my office except for Nami, Rafael, and I.

"Pour me a sake, will ya?" I asked Nami. He did and joined Rafael and I at the meeting table.

"So," Nami said with a mischievous smile. "Tell me the details."

I laughed. "Right," I said. "There's really not that much to tell. I ran into him at Turtle's Paradise, we barely said three sentences to each other, we kissed... then he texted me he had to leave."

"Yea...? And how you doing now?"

"I dunno. I was upset for a bit, but it's not like this is uncommon. I mean, it would've been nice to at least hook up with my own husband. Even if he's just my husband in technical terms these days. I guess, when it really comes down to it, I don't need him. I don't even miss him."

"Maybe it's time you got a divorce."

"For what. Reno and I like our arrangement..." I spoke low through a clenched jaw, stood up and walked to the window with a huff. Arms crossed against my body, I stared out at the green landscape. There was a storm blowing in, everything was dark grey against vibrant green. The wind blew the blades of grass like a ripple of waves, everything was misty and magical.

"Do you...?"

"What would us getting divorced actually accomplish? Will we suddenly stop having this intense fucking attraction to each other? Will he stop randomly showing up in my life? No. It won't change anything. And besides, there're certain things that being Reno's wife does for me in the world. And I know he thinks the same about me."

"Alright, girl," Nami got up and gave me a teasing look. "As long as you're happy, that's all that matters." He opened the door to leave then turned to Rafael. "It was nice meeting you, Rafael."

"You too, Nami."

The room was silent for a minute after Nami left, until Rafael spoke.

"Is your husband a Turk?" he asked.

"He was. I mean I guess he still is, but not in the same sense of what that used to mean."

"I know it was a Turk who dropped the Sector 7 plate."

"Hmm. Yea, it was." The whole topic made me close up, revisit that day when Reno first told me his orders. The day that initiated our distant relationship. "Did you lose someone close to you?"

"Yea. Biggs. My lover."

Ah. So that's what I had seen in his eyes earlier. Why he was so adamant about using that name for his establishment.

"Ah. Biggs. I knew him. Not well, but I knew him."

"You did...?"

"Yea, he was at Tifa's a lot."

"You know Tifa?"

"I bet we share more mutual acquaintances than you think."

"Possibly. What did you do back in Midgar?"

I laughed. An almost malefic cackle. Throaty and amused. I'd been told before it was sexy if not somewhat scary.

"I guess it's time you and I got properly acquainted with each other, Rafael. Are you busy today?"

It was getting darker by the second. My office, once flooded with natural light was now dim and mysterious. The mood was nostalgic, melancholy. But somehow comforting in that bittersweet kind of way.

"Not particularly."

"Come on. I'll make some tea."


	8. waking up is the hardest part

_[from the perspective of Ilia Rovnovsky...]_

The memory of that day haunts me to the point of numbness. I often visit the Turtle's Paradise, sitting tucked away in a secluded corner. We used to come here all the time; it was his favorite place to frequent. In my hands I held on to a small glistening green stone, stroking it with my thumb. I listened to the chatter and laughter echoing in the background; people greeting each other with hugs and kisses. Good times in good company, as they say. I slowly exhale smoke as I watch them; such a fucking drag. I can't wait for Kira's plans to come to life. I need something to ignite my senses and drag me out of this black hole.

But as I sit there watching, I catch myself wandering… I can barely remember the way he smelled.

The night sky was unusually bright that night. The stars were in full bloom and the wind was furiously blowing through my hair as we stood on the rooftop of the ShinRa building. Before that meeting, I knew something was wrong. I felt it in my gut. He was distant from me all week, buried in his work and a worry that followed him around like a ghost.

"I need you to go with Kira to Wutai…" Tseng's voice was soft and gentle; almost like a whisper. He grabbed my hand. I should have faced him instead of looking out at the city below. I should have hugged him and begged him to let me stay by his side.

But I just stood there in silence for the longest time.

"It's not going to be safe here. You'll be guilty by association."

"It's already too late for that." I turned to him then, gently placing my hand on his cheek. "We took one of those vows, remember?"

"Itoshii..."

"If I had stayed a Turk, then we wouldn't be having this conversation." I smirked at him; I could feel the tears welling up inside me. "But I guess you did that on purpose, didn't you..."

"You know that I wanted to keep you safe-"

"Safe is different from keeping me locked away for yourself." I sighed. So much of my past and the choices that I had made were catching up to me.

Fuck men and their selfish acts of kindness.

Soon after that the plate fell and everything changed. I changed. Kira changed... We relocated to Wutai together but instead of being there for her, I isolated myself. I know she was in pain because of Reno.. but they were different from us. Maybe she didn't care since she hated Tseng so much because of what happened. I wonder if she understood how hard it was for me to be torn away from him. I wonder how much she blamed him for _that._

I managed to keep most of my aquatic and reptilian collection, but it no longer was a source of revenue from elixir production. I cut ties with the modeling world and rekindled my old roots with art. I was now a very successful painter and all around artist. My specialty being the traditional work of Wutai and all her glorious upbringing. I really didn't even need to sell any of my work but it did help to keep my mind off of things.

Coming home, I heard voices as I walked through the outdoor corridors. Sounded like the meeting was going well. I peeked in through the doorways of Kira's office to let her know that I was back. She caught sight of me and gave me such a warm, loving smile. I chuckled lightly behind closed lips, bringing a hand up to my face to cover my mouth. I always told her not to let that side of her show in front of others when she saw me. They would be able to tell how soft she could be.

"Ilia, would you like to join us? I'd like you to meet Rafael." She gestured to take the seat next to her, but I bowed my head to decline.

Looking at Rafael reminded me of an old acquaintance back in Midgar that I couldn't quite pin together. There was definitely an energy about him that I'm sure Kira picked up on - most likely why he even got this far to begin with.

"It's going to rain... I'd like to take advantage of the opportunity to work on my new painting." I finally responded, taking my leave.

Rainy nights didn't help in the slightest but the pitter-patter of the rain was a soothing lullaby that could lure me to sleep without a fight.


	9. ice moon

_[from the perspective of Rafael Vida...]_

I couldn't believe the tale that spewed from Kira's mouth. Drug lord? Business with Reno? The Turks...Reno's the one responsible for dropping the plate? My head spun several times like a children's top, round and round as I tried to wrap my head around it. Three years ago that red headed bastard put an end to the life of my greatest love. Torn from me just because Shinra wanted to prove a point to the citizens of Midgar and the rest of the world.

Inside Kira's pagoda one rainy afternoon, my hands tightened into fists. "I'll kill him...I'll kill him one day." I spat. But what kind of good would that do now? Revenge seemed like a step backwards; and even if I did want to avenge Biggs death the window of opportunity has closed already. _Three years have passed. _I'm about to open up a business with one of the wealthiest ladies in Wutai. It was too late for vengeance. No, Biggs wouldn't want that. Blowing up those Mako Reactors proved to be a fatal mistake for...him. He wouldn't want to risk my own success just to prove a point. That's what he did, and it got him killed...

I realize I may have spoken out of line. "I'm sorry." My apology was low and respectful, but Kira surely had to understand the deep frustration I harbor for the past.

* * *

I arched my back in scattered ecstasy as his Biggs poured into me. I could see the full moon, as white and arctic as winter demanded it to be, through the window.

Biggs was a bit rough around the edges, especially when it came to making love. He even kept his stupid gloves on. Haha - better to hold on to something I guess. I winced when the material from the gloves scratched my hips as Biggs clung to me tightly. He also left his bandana on even though I've told him repeatedly that I like his hair sticking out all crazy from different ends.

He huffed like an animal, and for me that was a turn on. The boys in Sector 4 were far too prim for my tastes. And even though I was brought up in a delicate and politely tempered environment my heart yearned for something..._untamed.  
_

I moaned, he grunted, and it was over. The physical part of it at least. I released myself from him and fell back onto his mattress, panting. We were a passionate couple. Kira told him one time about the astrological signs and their characteristics; she told me he was a Leo. Passionate and controlling, sometimes to the point of suffocation. But I wouldn't mind being suffocated by him...No. I wouldn't.

"You okay?" he asked.

I sucked up a pocket of air. "Yeah..." I muttered.

I fit snuggly in the crook of his arm. His big arms and hands around me made me feel safe. As safe as one can be at this day an age. Sure, Shinra were killing the planet, but at least they weren't committing genocide. He had nothing to fear from them personally. Biggs on the other hand... "I love you." I whispered as clung to his sculpted chest.

"Love you too. Don't fall asleep though, you promised me two rounds tonight." he stated with a cheesy grin. I laughed and slapped his pec playfully.

"No need to be gluttonous now."

Both of us laughed as Biggs pulled me into another passionate kiss...

"I understand your feelings towards my husband," she said. "In many ways I share them myself. But there's nothing that can be done about it now. Life goes on. The world still turns. And truth be told, I still love him. Even if it will never be in the same way we once shared. As cliche as it sounds, revenge will not bring you peace."

"I suppose you're right," I said. "He was just... following orders."

"Yes." A sigh and a deep drag from her hand rolled cigarette. I guessed there was more in it than tobacco. "And now there are more important things in which to attend."

Kira stood and smashed the butt more harshly than needed. "Rafael. In this world there is more than meets the eye. I've learned this for better or worse. And in the end, it has brought me a sense of peace. Being able to forgive people when I can see behind their eyes. Beyond the mundane catastrophes. Do you understand?"

"I do." There's nothing I could do about Reno or the Turks or the rest of Shinra. It's been three years; a lot has happened and a lot has changed. I couldn't stay resentful, I'd only hurt himself at the end of the day.

"What matters now is our focus towards Biggs Towers...His grave is lost in the ruins of Sector 7. At least I can use these towers as a proper tomb for him. In spirit." My voice felt hollow and empty.

"That's more like it. But prepare yourself, I plan to make us two of the most powerful people in Wutai. In all of Gaia even." She had a lust for power in her eyes. No evil intentions, just stark ambition. I managed to stretch my lips into a smile.

When Ilia came through the door, I couldn't help but notice something off about her. As if there was something missing. She was a friend of Kira's that stayed with her.

"Good evening Ilia." She didn't stay, she quickly bowed out to attend to her art. Apparently she was a painter. Peculiar girl, I wonder what her story was. If it's anything like mines or Kira's, then I don't blame her for feeling the way she does.

After Ilia departed Kira continued. "There's no room for doubt or failure." she added. I nodded my head.

She was right. I'd find out that out soon. Let your guard down once and someone else will take your position further up the ladder. Someone like _Rufus Shinra_, but that's a tale for a later hour.


	10. sulk

_[from the perspective of Kira Ruiz...]_

* * *

_[Fold your heels and skip the whys, honestly I can't take tonight...]_

Five months passed and opening night at the Biggs towers had arrived. Five months of grinding - sleep deprivation and tidbits of debauchery. Lifestyles of the rich and prolific.

I stood in front of floor to ceiling mirrors. Couldn't decide on the long, strapless black gown with a thigh high split, or the white sateen suit over jewel encrusted bustier. Decisions, ya know? Important ones. How did I want to present myself on a night such as this?

There was a good chance Reno was going to be there. He always preferred me in an evening gown over any suit, no matter how sexy said suit was. This didn't help my decision. I was equally split between wanting to tease him and not giving a fuck.

I needed Nami.

* * *

"What the _fuck_ do I wear?!" I moaned and collapsed on my bed.

He looked stylish in slim black trousers and a light grey sweater (an old one of mine). A pair of modest karate slippers gave him an air of nonchalance. Silver rings adorned his graceful fingers.

"I dunno, girl. You're asking the wrong person. It took me all day to decide on this." He motioned to his impeccable outfit, then examined the carefully laid out options on my bed. "How ya feel?"

"Indecisive. And needing to be in control."

"Well yeah... I mean, how do you _want_ to feel?"

"Like the baddest bitch at the party."

"Oh _my_ gods, you're already gonna be that."

"Exactly. So I have to look the part!" We laughed. Hah - the presumed size of my ego was so entertaining to play with.

"Is Reno coming?"

"Maybe." I threw my hand over my eyes and tried hard to hide my grin. But it was clear to us both the thought of my husband being there was giving me pleasant butterfly sensations.

"Ooooo girl!"

"Shut up! It's not a for sure thing. Who knows if he'll show."

"Come on, it's the biggest party of the year and it's Reno. He's definitely going to be there."

Nami was right. Reno would never miss an event this anticipated and glamorized. Especially if it was thrown by me and therefore included him by default. Oh how he loved his fame by association.

"I don't think you should wear a suit," Nami said.

"Why not?"

"You always wear a suit."

"There's a reason for that."

"Yea, but this is a special night. A gala! You don't always have to look like a 'power player.' Some of your best moments are when you lighten up and just enjoy yourself."

"I do that plenty..."

"Not the way you did back in Midgar."

There was truth to that. The drug daze of my former life might've been tumultuous and blasé, but it sure was a whirlwind of mad good times.

"Ok. I'll wear a dress."

"Yay! But not that one," he pointed to the black strapless number. "It's basically a dress version of a suit. Wear that sheer one you have. With the train. And the little sparkles."

"You mean... the one I wore the night we met?"

"That's the one."

Ah. What a great night that had been. Glow and blow at the Saucer. Heli ride back to Midgar. Dancing all night at mine and Reno's old club Dragon. I was a queen of night in that dress - black silk chiffon, long bell sleeves. Just the right amount of beaded touches. Ankle length in the front with a train that trailed a foot behind me.

"Alright. I'll meet ya out front."

Nami left me to primp. I slipped into that slinky number, wore my finest black lingerie underneath. Thigh highs and garters - the whole nine yards. It was risqué this dress, but I was never the type to shy away from that.

* * *

Rafael was at the pagodas - his first week away from my estate. I knew what he must've felt - nerves, excitement, an amount of disbelief. It had been a long time since he had left the glamour of upper Midgar. There was probably a sense of coming home for him tonight. Maybe there was a bit of that for me too.

Arriving fashionably late at your own party is a must. When our car pulled up, the sidewalks were packed. The photographers and reporters were lined up at the red carpet. Lights and movement everywhere. It was all an insignificant blur as Nami, Ilia, and I stepped out. (It had taken a lot of convincing to get Ilia to come out of her reclusive cocoon.)

We ignored them as we headed for the entrance. Inside, the party was at a pleasant murmur. The downstairs was all alcohol and hors d'oeuvres, fine teas, and that pleasant hum of people having a good time in good company - I love that sound. The upper floors were reserved for cabaret and burlesque performances on the third, music and dancing on the fourth, private gatherings on the top.

Rafael was pacing close by the entrance, impatient. He rushed up to me.

"Oh good, you're here," he said. "It's time for us to give a toast!"

He grabbed my hand and swept me away. In the main dining hall he led me to where a microphone was set up. Wow. Not even a moment to compose myself before all this.

"Could you bring me a glass of champagne."

"Of course!"

I saw him motion for one of the waitresses. Looking around the room, the staff was strategically passing out free champagne for a toast. Rafael was a good manager, that's for sure.

Taking a drink from the girl's tray, I downed it and reached for another. Now I was ready.

"Hello," came my slow, sultry voice from the speakers.

The roar of my surroundings simmered to a soft hush.

"Thank you," I continued. "Good evening everyone - welcome to the grand opening of Biggs Towers." An applause. I lifted my glass. "Join me in a toast - to this beautiful city, Tian Tan, which I know will shine brighter than Midgar or Junon. To the towers - that watch over her. And to my brilliant partner in this venture, a man with true vision - Rafael Vida." I gave him a nod and wink as there was a clamor of loud cheers.

I handed the mic over to him as the crowd lost control, quickly exiting my duties. Rafael began to speak, but I didn't hear the words. Impolite I suppose, but I couldn't help it. Public speaking, a mob of people, and downing two glasses of champagne in less than five minutes left me in a whirl. I needed to get to a bird's eye view.

I ascended the stairs to the second floor, an open dining level that looked over the first floor. From there I perched and watched the action. I lit a cigarette. There was a no smoking rule, but no one was going to inform _me_ of it.

It was then a pair of arms snaked around my waist and cradled me. There was no need to be startled or defend myself. I knew this presence anywhere.

"Mmm, I always loved you in this dress." The vibrations of his voice resonated in his chest. Both soothing and exhilarating.

"Hi, Reno." I sighed a stream of smoke. Out of the corner of my eye I could see a photographer snapping our portrait.

He smelled my hair, nuzzled my neck. A spread of shivers crawled across the base of my spine.

"Hello sexy, sexy wife. Mmmm... let's get outta here. Find a dark corner..."

"Hmm. You really expect me to leave my own party? I just got here."

He snatched the cigarette from my fingers and dragged on it. "Yea, why not? Wouldn't be the first time. And besides..." Lips. "...it's been far..." Teeth. "too..." Tongue. "...long."

"Well then you can wait a little while longer."

He grinned. "Oh playing hard to get? We'll see about that."

He pulled me in for a kiss. I savored the texture of him, his specific scent of tobacco, expensive booze, and vetiver. The feel of his warm skin. The softness of his hot red hair as I ran my fingers through it. The sensation of his hand on the small of my back, tightly pressing me against him.

"You taste like whiskey," I whispered into his ear.

"You taste like champagne," he whispered back, lingering his lips along my neck.

"Some things never change." I giggled. He nibbled. The blood rushed through my veins. He held me tighter, hands caressing my shoulders, back, hips, thighs. To hell with the congregation around us. His fervor promised to eat me alive...

"I hear there're private rooms..." he spoke between kisses.

But he was interrupted when my friends caught up to us. "There you are!"

"Damnit," I cursed under my breath. Reno chuckled with a sigh. We pulled apart to find Nami, Rafael, and Ilia.

"Well if isn't everyone yo," Reno greeted in his usual easy manner.

"Ahhhhh Reno!" Nami rushed in for a hug. The two men closest to me. They were the best of friends whenever actually in the same room together.

"Lookin' good man," he grinned then set his eyes on Ilia. "And you always look stunning, my dear." Reno swooped in and kissed her on the cheek. She returned the greeting as she always did, but her eyes could barely meet his. I think seeing him reminded her too much of Tseng. He had been even more absent from her life than Reno from mine. And it was different for her. Their relationship was built out of intimacy and trust, a deep and almost co-dependent bond. Reno and I were all lust and power, addicted to the high of life and the high we gave each other.

"Nice to see you, Reno," she said in a hushed tone.

"And this is Rafael," I introduced.

"Ah, the man with a plan. Nice to meet ya. Diggin' the vibe here yo."

"Nice to meet you," Rafael responded in a clipped manner. The way he eyed him told me he still held resentment. "And thank you. I couldn't have done it without Kira."

"Yeah, my girl's something else isn't she? Knew it from the moment I laid eyes on her."

"Yes," came his short response. Rafael was never good at hiding his emotions. They radiated from him like heatwaves. There was an awkward silence.

"Hey!" Of course it was Nami who broke it with his cheerful demeanor. "Shall we head up to the private party?"

"Yea, guess it's that time. Everyone's waiting," Reno said, pulling out another cigarette.

"When you say everyone... do you mean...?" Ilia came to my side and put her arm in the crook of mine.

"Yea. Tseng's here."

Her hand clutched at me as she tensed. "I think I'll just wander around for a while, check out some of the performances. Maybe I'll join you later."

"Ilia..."

"It's ok," she smiled weakly at me and drifted away. I watched her as she left. I knew she wasn't ready to see him. At least not around all our close friends and acquaintances.

"Alright, let's get it."

* * *

The 'private party' was located in none other than Rafael's posh abode on top of the neighboring tower. About forty of our 'nearest and dearest' gathered. Though really there was a handful of people here I cared about. The rest were friends of friends, or people high enough on the social food chain to deem worthy an invitation. Business never stops.

Rafael and Nami showed themselves to the bar, greeting Rafael's friends. From their apprehensive glances I could tell they weren't in the mood to schmooze, and knew they didn't really need to. They ran off to the corner with guests classified as 'normal folk here to party.' It left Reno and I to glide through the lion's den.

There was a blur of double cheek kisses, handshakes and warm smiles. Mainly other business owners from Midgar and Junon who shared a mutual interest in the development of Tian Tan. Suzanna Wong - a curator that owned a string of galleries. Jacques Reynard - a restauranteur with many famous fine dining establishments and clubs. His newest ventures included ritzy hotels in Mideel and Costa del Sol. There were many others with connections in construction, city planning, philantrophy, education, scientific research and development... What can I say, I'm a busy girl.

"Whoa, babe," Reno whispered. "Is this a party or a conference?"

"Relax. We're only making an appearance. Reeve will be handling all the dirty work."

"Since when are you planning shit with Reeve? Thought you weren't into politics."

"I'm not. This is simply business. And Reeve will be doing most of it," I said matter-of-factly with a sparkle to my grin.

"You're a real piece of work, baby." Reno shook his head with a chuckle, guiding me over to a group of our friends.

Yuffiie stood next to Reeve. She looked bored as he chatted up a striking mid-aged woman and a handsome older man with salt and pepper hair. When she saw me, she ran over before we could join the circle.

"Oh my gaaawd you're finally here! Where have you been?" she tried her best to keep her voice down and flailing to a minimum. She looked glamorous but out of character in her strapless, cool grey gown. "Trust me you do _not_ want to go over there! Bo-or-riinngggg! Let's get out of here and join the _real_ party!"

"Yuffie. Nice to see you, too," I gave her a hug which she returned in a hurry, impatiently bouncing around as she craved an exit. "I just got here, I can't leave yet! Gimme a minute then I promise we'll go have fun."

"Ok fine, but for now I'm getting a drink! Where's Nami!?"

"He's with Rafael back by the bar."

"Speaking of drink, I'll go get us one," Reno whispered and sauntered off with Yuffie. "...Hey babe, looking good in that dress. Is that fabric see through?"

"Ew! Shut up turkey!" Their voices trailed off as Reeve made eye contact with me.

"Ah, Kira. Nice to see you," he gave me a polite kiss on the cheek. "I'd like you to meet Lenora Graves, she's the director of education at Renoir University outside of Nibelheim. And her husband Byron, he works in import/export - spices and other exotic goods."

"Lovely to meet you both."

"Pleasure to meet you, Kira," Byron smiled.

"Yes, we are great admirers of you and this beautiful city of yours," Lenora added. I wondered if she'd still feel so 'admirable' if she knew my shady beginnings in Midgar. "My husband and I were just discussing with Reeve - this is the perfect countryside for a new campus."

"Yes, absolutely gorgeous here in Northern Wutai. You know this soil is the only that can grow some of the most lovely, aromatic spices on the planet? How nice it would be to set up a plantation here." I could see the dollar signs turning in their eyes.

"Yes, of course. As long as it follows permaculture," I said.

"Permaculture?"

"It's a practice of farming that grows diverse crops together - much like in nature. The plants help each other thrive, keeps the land healthy. Also looks a hell of a lot nicer than boring row after row of the same shit, am I right?" The seriousness of my monotone voice, casual cursing, and lack of smile visibly shook them. Guess I've never completely warmed up to the 'proper' way to conduct myself. But this direct approach had always worked for me.

Reeve looked at me in that contained horrified way he did sometimes. His laugh was awkward. "You'll have to excuse Kira, she can be very blunt and passionate."

"Yes, please do excuse me. There's a lot of people I need to meet tonight."

I walked away and heard Reeve mutter a 'pardon me.' He joined my side and pulled me behind a table decorated with fancy bite sized foods.

"Kira, you can't talk to these people like that. You want them to be on your side."

"Look, when I can clearly see someone is wanting to come in and use _my_ land for their own greed, I will talk to them however I like. This is my city, and I will dictate how things are done here. They can do business with me, but they will not tell me how to do it."

"Ok, fine. Yes. Of course. I one hundred precent agree with you. I want the same things as you, you know that. But we are not going to accomplish them by pissing anyone off."

"You're right. You're not. Because _I_ will. Which is why I'm working with you. So you can handle all _this_ nonsense, and then fill me in. You - who I actually _like_ talking to. Remember?"

"Yes. I am aware of our arrangement. It's just a lot to do alone..."

"Then find someone to help. I suggest one of those AVALANCHE types. Also, Rufus and the Turks are available."

"Dear _gods_. That peacock? And the _Turks_? Oh yes, they're experts in the delicate art of diplomacy." He rolled his eyes and rubbed his forehead.

I laughed. "Reeve. All I'm saying is it's not gonna be me. You're surrounded by a lot of great people at the WRO. I know you'll figure it out. You just gotta trust someone is as capable as you are."

He smiled at me with a nod. "You know me well, Kira."

"Hmm. I just pay attention. Now if you excuse me, I wanna make my rounds as quickly as possible and get to the real action."

I turned to leave as he called after me, "You know, you're not so different, Kira. You speak of permaculture and the destruction of Gaia... Yet you're an oil tycoon. You certainly must know the absurdity of that."

"Everything's temporary. Why do you think I invited all those clean energy research science types? Now you just gotta convince them to come work for us. Which will take a lot of money, so it's a good thing for all that oil. Remember - some blessings come wrapped in thick, black, sticky... oil." I winked and walked away.

"Heh. Have a lovely night, Kira."

I waved a deuce and continued to walk, spotting Rufus entertaining a gathering of people. Elena and Rude stood in somewhat odd formation a few paces behind him, filling their role as casual bodyguards well. It was Elena who saw me first, waving and motioning for me to join.

"Hey," she whispered, giving me a hug. "What's up? Where's Reno?"

Rude nodded at me with a slight up-turn at the corner of his mouth and a sneaky, single thumbs up. I nodded back with a wink. "Getting us drinks."

"You mean getting distracted then drunk then maybe remembering to bring you a drink?"

"Exactly. What's going on here?"

"Oh, just the boss giving his usual show."

"Ah. Where's Tseng?"

"I dunno, wandering around somewhere. Gave us 'orders' to stay with the boss. Said he had something to 'attend to.'"

"Hmm." My mind immediately jumped to Ilia. Of course he'd be looking for her. Didn't know how I felt about that for her sake.

"Oh Kira... there you are. I've been anticipating your arrival," Rufus noticed me. "I'd like you to meet a few people." He leaned over for an embrace, placing his cheek against mine. "Well if it isn't the bitch herself," he whispered.

"Mutherfucka."

Rufus and I had a strange relationship. Appreciative but super competitive. We'd get into screaming matches, only to be laughing five minutes later. I found him arrogant and tyrannical, but irresistibly likable.

"This is Kira Ruiz, the mastermind behind everything you see in this city. Kira this is Steven Lowe, a botanist and ecologist based out of Mideel. Nancy O'Neil - a physicist, currently living just South of Rocket Town. Suki Shimizu, director of research at Midgar Central Hospital. And of course you know Suzanna and Jacques."

"It's a pleasure, everyone."

Rufus knew exactly the people I wanted on our side. He continued with his conversation, exuding his natural magnetism. When Rufus Shinra spoke - you listened.

Well unless you're me and therefore immune. I slid in next to Suzanna and Jacques - art and entertainment was my gig. The three of us had been discussing a wine bar/art gallery venue over email. I explained I wanted the vibe to remain island influenced and bohemian. Posh but relaxed, nothing too pretentious or overdone. We confirmed a meeting in two days at my estate - now I was outta there.

"Well, apologies everyone but I really must be going. Please, enjoy yourselves tonight."

"Of course, Kira. I'm sure we'll run into you sooner or later," Rufus said with a grin.

There was a barrage of pleasantries as I smiled and bowed out. Elena grabbed my arm, whispering 'meet ya later.' I gave a nod and quickened my pace to join the rest of my friends.

The crew was nowhere in sight. They must've gone down without me. Way to get me that drink, Reno.

I checked my phone and saw a text - _at booth on 2nd floor, having drinks - join us asap babe xx_

* * *

Reno, Nami, Rafael, Yuffie, and... Tifa were all crammed into a circular booth at the back corner of the second floor. Right next to the windows overlooking the ocean. Reno was leaning in a little too closely to Tifa, his arm draped on the seat behind her. Nothing shocking for him. He had that flirtatious wolf grin on his mouth - irresistible. Tifa absently played with her necklace, her smile giving away her pleasure. I rolled my eyes.

"Hey," I greeted.

"Oh hey, babe! I got that drink for you." He slid over a glass and poured some champagne from the center of the table. He patted his lap and pulled me down onto him. Tifa gave an awkward smile and a shy 'hi.'

"Tifa. Wasn't expecting you here."

"Oh, I was in town visiting Yuffie. She insisted I come." She looked away, trying to hide a hint of discomfort in her eyes. She wouldn't meet my gaze, absently rubbing the back of her neck and taking a sip from her beer. It was then I knew.

Reno and Tifa had hooked up.

My body tensed in anger. Reno felt the shift and gave me a perplexed look.

"So. Tifa huh?" I said somewhat quietly in his ear.

Now his body tensed. He quickly caught himself, trying to act relaxed. "What?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

He let out a long exhale and chuckled. "Damn. You're good."

"It's just obvious."

I could see a nervous glance from Tifa. She had probably picked up on what was going down. Everyone else was too caught up in each other to notice.

"Hey. Can we not do this right here, right now?"

Oh he should've known that would only make me want to do this right here, right now. "Why not? Everyone involved is here," I raised my voice. "Right, Tifa?"

"Kira, maybe this isn't the best time..." she started.

"Tifa. You are not gonna tell me what's 'best.' But you are both gonna tell me how this happened and how many times."

"It was few months ago. It was a phase, it's already over, babe." Reno scratched the back of his head and leaned back on his arms, trying to look nonchalant. He was trying too hard. I knew he felt guilty.

"How. Many. Times."

"I dunno. Eight...nine... dozen times maybe."

"It was eleven." Her voice was quiet but not meek.

"Tch. And what the fuck happened to Cloud?"

"Damn. You're outta the loop. They broke up almost a year ago."

"Reno, Kira's not really in contact with us so she wouldn't know," Tifa spoke up.

"So that's what happened. Cloud's outta the picture and Reno swoops in to comfort."

The look on Tifa's face said it was exactly like that. I could feel her embarrassment; Reno was known to prey on vulnerable women. Nurse their broken egos back to health via hot sex. I expected that from him. But Tifa? She was such a 'good girl,' didn't think Reno would be her type. Then again, I knew how treacherous the rebound stage could be and not many women were immune to Reno's charms. Guess I couldn't blame her moment of weakness.

"Tifa and I practically work together. I go to her bar a lot. Saw the whole thing with Cloud play out. Guy was a mess, ya know. Half in this world, half in another. Couldn't give her what she needed. After they broke up, we started talkin' more. Kept her company on slow nights. One thing led to another... you know how it goes, babe."

"Yea. I know the whole song and dance. And I'm not surprised you took advantage of the situation. But I mean, c'mon Reno, this is like Zoe all over again."

"This is _not_ like Zoe," he raised his voice. The curl on his lip let me know he was getting angry. This was not going to end well. My temper was cool and venomous, Reno's was like a time bomb. You could watch the numbers count down before the blazing finale.

"Well it sure is reminding me of it."

"Babe. We both sleep with other people."

"No, we sleep with other strangers. People we don't know. People not in our social circle."

"Well there's a fucking ridiculous rule that I've never heard before. How is it even possible to hold that up? These are the people I see on a daily basis." There was that sense of entitlement and bravado. His ego was building a wall, but he didn't fool me. I knew he cared about my emotions more than he showed.

"You don't see me fucking the men I work with."

"_That's 'cause they're all gay_!"

"Reeve isn't."

There was a chilling silence. No one was talking at the table now. All eyes were fixed on us. Don't think anyone was even breathing.

"...You trying to tell me you've thought about fucking Reeve?"

"Hmph. You don't need to worry. Nothing's happened."

"Oh but it's heading in that direction. A few business dinners and drinks here and there, late night meetings. Before ya know it, he's got ya bent over his desk yo."

Ugh, his slang mannerisms were slipping in. I hated when he talked to me like that.

"No, _Reno_. Here's the difference between us. I can have men in my life that I spend time with and flirt with shamelessly, and I can keep it _right_ _there_. I don't need to go any further. And with the ones I do, you'll never even know their names or see their faces."

"Ohhh Kira Ruiz - so fucking pristine," he rolled his eyes and downed the rest of his whiskey. "I don't give a _fuck_ about your self imposed rules. You follow them all ya want, baby. I'll follow mine. And if ya wanna get mad at me for it, be my guest. It ain't gonna change my stance yo." He shrugged, pouring himself another drink. At this point he wasn't even looking at me when he spoke. Cocky, narcissistic asshole.

"Self imposed rules? Ok." My jaw was like stone, my gaze stonier. "I didn't think I needed to go over every detail of our arrangement to let you know common decency."

"You've been married to me for eight years. You should know by now I ain't decent."

The things I loved about him were also the things I hated.

"Kira, I'm really sorry," Tifa took the opportunity to speak.

"Don't fucking apologize to me, Tifa," I spat. "Have you heard Reno apologize? No. It's because he's not sorry, and neither are you. So don't give me lip service ya think I wanna hear."

That shut her up real quick. Reno laughed. I lit a cigarette.

"What's so funny?"

He glared at me. "What. I can't admire my wife?"

"You throw that word around so much - like it means something."

"Oh you telling me it doesn't!?"

"I dunno, Reno. You tell me what it means." I stood up, downed my champagne and poured another glass before walking away.

"Don't fuckin' walk away from me!" Immediately he was on me, hand firmly wrapped around my arm, spinning me to face him. "You know how much I _hate_ that!"

"Get your fuckin' hands off me." I squirmed out of his grip and turned away. He grabbed me again.

"Don't. Do it. Kira."

I turned, stared him down, pounded my drink. Stepped back, threw the glass at his feet. It shattered with a delicious noise. "Fuck off."

"Oh you're fuckin' crazy!" he yelled. "Fuckin' dramatic as usual! Don't expect me to be waiting around for you to get over your shit, Kira."

Whatever.

* * *

I needed to blow off some steam. Forget my anger. I downed several more glasses of champagne and that did a great deal to help.

"Kira!" I heard someone call out from behind me. Rafael, Nami, and Yuffie caught up, Yuffie launching herself in my arms.

"Gawd, that was awful! Are you ok, Kira?"

"I'm fine," I smiled. "Not even that angry really, just a little hurt. I'll get over it."

"That's so fucked up, Kira," Rafael spoke, he looked genuinely upset from the whole situation. "I don't know how you deal with that."

"That's just how those two are," Nami shrugged. "..._They'll prob be hooking up by the end of the night..._"

"_What_?" I shot.

"Nothing! Let's go dance!"

* * *

We headed straight to the darkest, sweatiest, most wicked room in all of the Biggs - the jungle room. Sure, I felt a little overdressed for the occasion but really everyone was. It was a nice combo actually - class and finery and expensive alcohol, swank interior design - with the backdrop of the dirtiest, bassiest, grittiest jungle. What kind of gala has a room like this, you ask? Well - that would be mine.

Refined debauchery everywhere. That fluid, rolling kind that makes you feel like you've just entered the first layer of hell. The part of the Underworld that houses the spirits of the earth. Not deep enough for anything truly terrifying, not really good nor evil - just wild with the madness of spring. Earthly delights and the guardians that watch over them.

A certain kind of heaven.

* * *

I loved to dance. That feeling of losing myself in a crowd in my own little world. Surrounded by others in their own little world. Ecstatic with the lunatic high of the dance floor. Becoming one with the music. For a moment in time losing your mind to the beat. Telling you - there's nothing like it. And it's so elusive. Can't count how many times I've gone out only to be disappointed with the DJ, the lack of ambiance, the lukewarm connections. But tonight was not one of those nights.

Tonight we were grand.

It was 4am. I scanned the room and my friends were scattered about. Rafael was chatting up Rufus, they were cozied up in a corner - that was a new development. Nami was having a snog with some random tall, dark handsome man at the bar - typical. Rude and Reno were drinking and smoking on the other end of the bar. Reno was trying to not eye me, but I knew he was. I think Yuffie had gone off to console Tifa at some point. That left Elena and I as dance partners. We had spent the night doing key bumps, something I hadn't done in years but with the mood of the night it felt appropriate. Elena was the only girl that could keep up with me when it came to drinking, drugs, and dancing.

It was about that time. Reno sauntered up to me on the dance floor, wrapping his arms around my waist. He nuzzled my neck. He reeked of whiskey, and the more than usual laziness to his movements let me know just how drunk he was.

"You done being mad at me now, baby?"

"Maybe."

"Aw c'mon, you look like you're in a better mood."

With a panache of force, he spun me around for a kiss. It was something I couldn't refuse, and I let myself fall into him with ease. He let me know with his entire being he wasn't going to allow me to escape or continue to be angry.

"Love you baby, you know I never mean to hurt you."

"Just shut up."

* * *

The knock on the bedroom door came far too early considering how late we had all been up. It wasn't even midday yet.

"Oh my gods, Kira! You have to see this!" Rafael burst through the room before I could utter if it was ok to enter or not.

He found me in bed with Reno.

"Oh. Sorry. I didn't know." He turned to leave, a slight flush of embarrassment across his cheeks.

"Rafael. It's ok, you can come in."

He sat down at the edge of the bed and opened up the laptop he was carrying. "You guys are tabloid front page news this morning!" He showed us the screen. Photos of Reno and I in last night's argument along with the headline - SOCIALITE &amp; ESTRANGED HUSBAND REUNITE IN FIREWORKS.

_Socialite and oil tycoon, Kira Ruiz, and husband, known playboy and WRO employee 'Reno,' were spotted in a heated exchange at Tian Tan's first ever gala, last night's opening of the Biggs Towers... _The article began.

"Oh get this outta my face," I said.

"Nah I wanna read! I liked that 'known playboy' part," Reno reached for the computer with a mischievous grin. He continued aloud.

_"The couple's usual secret private life slipped out in a rather dramatic scene. Not much is known about the nature of the dispute, though it ended in shouting from both partners and Ms. Ruiz shattering a glass at her husband's feet. - _that was a bad ass move by the way, babe_ \- Later, the pair were seen in a passionate embrace on the dance floor. Can we expect to see more lively behavior from this power couple in the future?"_

It wasn't much of an article. Mainly just photos - our meeting on the second floor - in which there was a shot of his hand firmly gripping my ass; the entire scene at the booth in front of our friends; the sordid dance floor kiss.

"Ugh. Revolting."

"Are you kidding, baby! This is hilarious! We're a 'power couple,'" he squeezed me and planted a kiss on my forehead. "Yea!"

"I'm glad you're so entertained." I snapped the laptop shut and handed it to Rafael. "Thanks for sharing."

"I'm so sorry, Kira. I know you must be _mortified_."

"It's fine, I'll have to get used to it."

"Yea, we're famous!" Reno was far too amused by this. "Let's get breakfast!"

He hopped out of bed energetic as ever. Rafael averted his eyes.

"Oh my goodness..."

"Put some clothes on motherfucker." I rolled my eyes.


	11. you know i can't let you

_[from the perspective of Ilia Rovnovsky...]_

"Will you come?" Kira whimpered as she laid across my bed, fiddling around with my rings.

"Maybe.." I knew that tonight was important. The last five months were a grind to get everything ready and finalized for the grand opening of the Biggs Tower. A huge success in its own right, and Kira's specialty definitely was throwing fucking amazing parties.

"I don't think I have anything to wear though," I shot back, opening my closet to take a look at the goods.

"Wear something that shows your art."

"My tattoos?"

"Yes. They are fucking incredible. I still can't believe you finally finished your collection."

She jumped out of the bed and bumped into me from behind, both of us now rummaging through the closet. She quickly narrowed down a choice and pulled it out. "This one."

She always did have good taste. Her eyes lit up as she bit her lip, holding the dress against her body. It was a simple number; a deep emerald ensemble that left my backside exposed to display the array of watercolor tattoos adorning it. She scampered off, saying something about needing to decide on what to wear herself. I kept my jewelry choices simple; a few rings on the fingers, a few earrings to decorate the ears and hair swept up into a sloppy bun. All that was left were a few swipes of blush to the cheeks and I was ready to dance the night away. I could hear Kira and Nami going back and forth about outfits; I didn't know why she bothered putting so much thought into it. If Reno were going to be there, it wouldn't last long anyway. I stood outside in the walkway area, looking down at the koi ponds.

I could do this. It was an important night. I just needed to get through this.

* * *

The moment we hit that red carpet, it was on. Lights, camera's and action! Sweet memories of the high society life in Midgar. The extravagant parties, the gossip columnists and trending fashion phases. As we made our way inside, the rush of the evening was quick to whisk us all in different directions. I caught a glimpse of Kira as she was dragged away by Rafael, and she looked back in my direction in time to receive a wink and blown kiss. He couldn't even let her catch her breath before throwing her on stage – poor girl.

I grabbed a glass of champagne from one of the passing trays and looked up to hear Kira's speech. It was perfect. We gave our toast and the crowd cheered; this was her moment. I was so very proud to see how far she had come since back then. I had the freedom to reminisce for only a moment before old acquaintances caught sight of me in the crowd and came up for whispered chitchat. Mind numbing chitchat..

"Can you believe that article about Sylvia? I heard she left everything behind and actually moved to the Forgotten City."

"Really? My goodness, why on gaia would _anyone_ try to live in that forsaken land field?"

"Poor soul, maybe something horrible happened to her."

"Ilia, have you heard from Sylvia lately? You two were so close before."

I shook my head, taking another sip from my glass. I didn't want to get involved. I already knew how far the conversation would go and it wasn't worth the energy to get upset over their shallow lives… and as if the gods heard my cries for help, Nami and Rafael scooped me up to head upstairs.

As we approached the top of the stairs, it didn't surprise me in the slightest that Reno had his tongue down Kira's throat, and his hands practically ripping her dress off. He would never change, and the knowledge of that was somewhat comforting. Strangely enough though, even with his crude manners and rough around the edges exterior, he was always politely proper around me. I don't think anyone can explain why, and I certainly never did anything to initiate the behavior, but it always just ended up that way. I was probably the only woman Kira could ever truly trust around him. He greeted me, kissing my cheek, leaving behind a lingering presence of smoke. The rest of us gathered, ready to continue on.

"Yea, guess it's that time. Everyone's waiting," Reno said, pulling out another cigarette.

"When you say everyone… do you mean…?" I moved over to Kira's side, my arm in the crook of hers.

"Yea. Tseng's here."

I could feel the nervousness settling in, "I think I'll just wander around for a while, check out some of the performances." I smiled, kissing Kira on the cheek and trying not to give her a second to get a word in to break my escape plans. "Maybe I'll join you later."

I should have paid more attention to where I was going. So busy scanning the scene at the bottom, looking over my shoulder at the top, until finally it happened. Gods! Of all of the places… As I made my way down the stairs, my gaze rested on the last person that I wanted to see, and I stopped dead in my tracks; my arms falling numb to rest at my sides.

Tseng.

"Itoshii…"

The sound of his voice sent ripples down my spine.

I took a step back into the railing, holding onto it for balance. He had this tired, worn down look in his eyes. Probably still composed and immaculate to everyone else, but he couldn't hide it from me.

As he slowly approached me, reaching out to touch my arm, I swatted at him. I shoved at him. I wasn't even planning on doing any of these things, but the surge of emotions took over me. I pushed at him and pounded on his chest in anger and he just stood there, creeping closer to me. He took it as I let it out, politely standing there as I slapped him across the face. By that time I was crying, my eyes drowning in tears as I gazed up at him.

He pulled me into his arms and kissed me. A kiss that begged for submission with its sweet taste.

I wish that I could say that it was all it took to make the world right again… But the truth was that I squirmed out of his arms, wiping my lips in disgust and turning around to head back upstairs. I needed to drown it out; I needed anything that I could find to drown him out.

The roaring calls of the music blaring on the third floor called to me. The waves of bodies on the dance floor and lights that flickered and painted the surroundings in an ocean of colors beckoned in my direction. I quickly approached the bar and ordered a drink. I could hear Tseng calling my name from behind as I threw back a couple shots.

How surprising. It wasn't like him to run after anyone; especially when others could see him.

He followed me though, dragging behind me as I made my way into the crowd. I grabbed drinks as they floated on by, throwing them back as if I were on a mission. I couldn't remember the last time that I had hard liquor, so the consequences were limitless, but I didn't care. The vibrations from the sounds enveloped me in their embrace, cradling me in their arms. I hit the dance floor and rolled with the hypnotic motion of the beat. The high of the moment absorbing my mind in its seductive presence. I danced in the arms of anyone that would catch me and felt a hand on the small of my back, pulling me in close as I swayed with the bass.

The last thing that I expected was Tseng intervening.

He grabbed the man by the collar, pulling him away from me. I watched them in a haze as the man mouthed "Heeey man, relax," and slinked along on his merry way. Tseng reached out to grab me and bring me into his arms, his mouth next to my ear so that I could hear him clearly.

"We need to talk."

I rolled my eyes, trying to push him away, but he wouldn't give up and it only made him louder in return."We need to talk, Ilia!"

"You had your fuckin' chances!" I shouted back at him.

He grabbed my face, staring me straight in the eyes. I grabbed at his fingertips trying to pry them off. "Stop it," I could hear myself begging.

"I can't."

"Please," I could feel the anxiety building beneath my skin. "I'm not the same person that you left behind 3 years ago…"

I don't think I'll ever forget the way that his voice broke then, "You don't think it killed me not to see you!? Do you think it's fair to assume that it's only you dealing with this shit?"

I stared back at him in silence, my hands no longer struggling to be free of his.

He was right…. All of the pity party bullshit I was doing and I never once thought about how hard it must have been on him.

It felt as if we stood there forever, staring at each other, as the music blared and dancing commenced in a background that didn't exist.

I touched his face and felt his arms wrapping around my body. The warmth of his lips and the familiarity of his hands as they caressed the curves of my body reminded me of our connection.

He was my yin and I his yang.

* * *

After some time, we finally managed to make our way out to catch up with the rest of the group, except we found Kira and Reno arguing loudly. Tseng sighed as I let out a chuckle. Those two would never change, no matter how much time they spend apart.

But I guess the reason we all connected so well was probably due to how alike we actually were to each other. And even after the whole dance of hating Tseng and loving him, it didn't stop us from picking up where we left off. We barely made it through the front door before clothes were being pulled off and body's meshed together. I definitely wasn't one to be shy about my body, but the fact that he didn't seem to care much either for our surroundings – a side of him that was unfamiliar but extremely fucking hot – made it so much more exciting.

Eventually we ended up in my section of the estate. I woke up with the sun blaring in my eyes and draped over his back on the floor, tangled in bed sheets.

I think now is a good time to get it together again.


	12. next time lock the door

_[from the perspective of Ilia Rovnovsky...]_

wonders of redemption sex. After leaving the grand opening of Biggs Tower, we spent most of the night grinding away our frustrations of the last few years, but eventually ended it with a deep heart to heart session. I finally admitted to my growing distaste in being married to a ghost and he was quick to prove himself as being as real as flesh and bones could get.

Things weren't the same anymore; we needed to figure out how to make it work again if we wanted to keep this marriage. We agreed that he would at least come and stay every other weekend, or I would go to him. He would sacrifice some of his work, and I would sort my crap out and start working again as well. If he was a ghost, then I had turned into a shadow.

It's strange to look back now and realize that we were on a completely different plane not too long ago.

As far as work was concerned, the decision came kind of easily. I decided to start a business for upscale clients to come in and partake in the old traditions of opium consumption. They could spend their leisure time admiring the art work displayed in an aquatic interior setting and indulge in past time pleasures.

The Dragon's Den. It was the perfect name. Now to figure out how to break it to Kira that the art gallery she thinks I'm building, isn't one after all.

* * *

After some preparations, we all made time to get together in the conference room at the far east end of the estate to talk business. Mind numbing business chatter. Tseng sat off to the side on a loveseat with his legs crossed, fiddling around with his cuff links.

I hate the tactical dealings of business. The fine print nagging of principles and rules– definitely not my forte. Kira and I both smiled at each other from across the conference table, trying really hard to conceal our laughter but mostly sounding like a couple of snorting piglets. Our feelings were pretty mutual when it came to work. We were the creative minds behind the planning. The executers of the grand schemes.

Nami paced around the room, going on about some financial mumble jumbo. I took the opportunity to move myself closer to Kira in the meantime. She pushed out her chair a little so that I could sit in her lap and drape my arms around her neck.

Nami paused, tilting his head slightly to the side as he looked over at us, "See, this is the kind of relationship I would have preferred to see you in."

"Jealousy isn't very becoming of you, Nami." I signaled for one of the assistants standing by the doorway to bring my pipe and some tea.

"I keep asking Ilia, but she keeps rejecting me." Kira laughs.

The assistant came back into the room with a tray, and I stood from her lap to take a seat next to Tseng on the loveseat. The assistant tilted the teapot to pour my drink at the side table and I grabbed the pipe. She held a light over the end as I started to inhale, the tiny ember glowing brightly as it burned with soft sounds of crackling being heard. I let out a long puff of smoke and continued, "It's not that I don't care Nami, but I'm terribly bored." I nodded my head.

His lips formed a hard line as he sighed, "Details that are important nonetheless. You both should really learn to take an interest in all of this."

I waved my hand in his direction, taking another drag.

There was an empty plot where we began construction around my overly aggressive schedule. I envisioned an old, traditional style Wutai building in red and gold. All of the classy, luxurious trimmings of a dignified establishment that embraced the culture. It wouldn't be an underground hideout. I wanted it to stand out on its own and be a piece of Tian Tan's character.

We spent another forty-five minutes or so going over the plans before ending the session. As everyone started to file out of the room, Tseng stood up and held out his hand for me to grab. I smiled up at him, reaching out to stroke his cheek. He rested his face against my fingers, kissing them gently.

Kira stopped at the doorway and turned to us, "You guys make me sick — in a good way. I'm kind of jealous, but then again, that kind of gushy shit wouldn't exactly be _me._" She grinned before walking out.

"Come," Tseng spoke softly, leading me out.

* * *

We had an appointment to meet with the architect again at the plot, and then plans to visit our nearby favorite restaurant. This was really going to happen. I quickly changed into something more suitable for a day out with my husband. I chose a sexy pinstriped halter top and matching tight black slacks. As I fixed my hair in the mirror, his hands snaked around my waist and he pulled me into him. _This is nice.. We could be this way all the time._ I smiled and made my way over to grab the blueprints and sketches off the bed.

During the car ride, Tseng rested his hand on my thigh. I knew exactly what he was trying to do and it reminded me of familiar times. It was really good to have us back to where we used to be. When we were passionate and taking over Midgar – when we were a powerhouse together.

"I don't think I've mentioned how lovely your tattoos are." Tseng said, still keeping his eyes on the road.

Perhaps the move to Wutai sparked a sudden interest in turning my body into a canvas. In a way, the pain from the needles as they carved images into my flesh pulled me out of my haze. It soon became an addiction, causing me to cover my backside and having a sleeve done to my right arm. I kept it unique with geometric watercolor inspired work; some of my own and some of local artists. Vibrant and original pieces which were one of a kind. If Jacques were to see me now, he would have a fucking fit. He would curse the skies trying to wrap his head around the reason that I would choose to lay a dot of ink on my porcelain skin. The man was definitely dramatic – but he was my manager, and a damned good one.

"Itoshii," Tseng murmured to lure me from my thoughts. "We're here."

We met with Juan, our architect. The first time we met up he praised me for my talents while looking at the blueprints, saying it made his job so much easier to see my vision and execute the plans. It was also no surprise to see how uneasy he originally was with Tseng around. Over the years you learn how to introduce a Turk to ease the tension in the room when they aren't on the job. Tseng's reputation did not always make it so easy either. I assured Juan that he was secretly a big softy and to pay him no mind. It seemed to do the trick in calming his nerves a little and they got along well after that.

We walked up a short flight of steps to the grand double door entrance already constructed and leading into a spacious foyer. This is exactly what I wanted – the feeling of a lobby basked in the dim red lighting arrangements to enhance the Dragon's Den charm as you walked in. Construction was still underway though, half a building and half a lot. There were red colored ropes that were wrapped around carefully placed stakes in the ground to map out the rest of the building plans.

"I can't wait." I grinned. This was going to be _amazing._

* * *

After our brief tour, Tseng and I continued on to our dinner date. The skies were bleeding orange into the sunset as we drove into Wutai and I rang up Kira to see what she was up to. Sounded like her and Reno had similar plans since he was leaving after the next day or so on business. Which meant Tseng would most likely be doing the same. We hung up and I let out a quiet pouting noise. Tseng seemed amused as he drove.

We arrived at the restaurant – Turtle's Paradise. We were greeted with staring eyes as we entered, seated at a far booth in the back. Everything was feeling so surreal as we laughed together and drank to our hearts content. I hadn't seen him let loose in years, and I hadn't felt so alive in the same amount of time.

We deserved this happiness! All the bullshit from the last several years, and all of the secrecy and void-like work consumption. Even if it was just for a moment in time – it was still _our_ moment.

"I mean, Reno will probably never admit to it, but when he lifted the helmet and that black bat shrieked at him, I swear he almost pissed his pants," Tseng laughed, taking another swig of his drink. I bathed myself in the good times of amusement with him, reaching out a hand to wipe some of the leftover liquid from his lower lip.

He grabbed my hand, kissing along the knuckles.

"We could be like this all of the time again," I whispered.

He nodded in agreement. "I really miss this." He rubbed his nose on the back of my hand, "I don't know how you do it, but you were always the only woman that could melt away the background noise…" I slide over to him in the booth, "My itoshii…" I grabbed his face to pull him to me, our lips softly touching and baiting him to kiss me. I could feel the rumbling growl in his throat as he grabbed me, nearly pulling me into his lap. His lips left mine and trailed down to nibble at my neck.

I don't know how much longer I can deal with this. If we left now, we would have the estate all to ourselves. I'm sure Reno and Kira are going to be preoccupied for the next several hours.

I pushed myself away from him, ignoring that fiery look in his eyes and slammed my hand on the surface of the table, yelling for the check.

It was time to go.

He tried to grab at me during the car ride home and I would sweetly smile to him, waving a finger back and forth as if to say, '_Not yet.' _I wanted him to fall apart in my hands, and the best way to ensure that was to make him wait.

The worst part of that plan, however, was that I could barely hold out long enough. My cheeks and body felt like they were on fire; surely a large part of it from all of the drinks we shared during dinner. We made it through the door this time, ending up on the floor in an intense make out session before crawling into one of the nearby guest rooms by the entrance.

* * *

Hot and heavy; groaning and moaning. "Harderrrrr…" I purred to him as he dug his fingernails into my hips in obedience.

Suddenly we lock up and freeze as the doors swing open with a giggly Kira and Reno sucking face as they stumble in.

"Are you fuckin' serious." I can hear Reno choke as they realize what they just walked into.

"Holy shit," Kira gasped.

There we were; Tseng and I on the brink together with my body bent over the armrest of the sofa and the only thing blocking the full moon was his backside. I covered my face, burying it into the couch cushion below and I could feel my body igniting in embarrassment.

_This isn't happening…_

Tseng didn't even turn around, "Are you going to keep gawking or can we finish?" He hissed dangerously.

Without a word, Reno swung Kira around and they slammed the doors behind them.

Shortly after, we emerged from the room as I fastened the last button on my halter top. My face was beet red as I looked at Kira and her stupid grin. "So that's what it's like, huh?"

Tseng stared at Reno as if he were going to rip out his throat, but Reno sheepishly put up his hands as if he were surrendering on the battlefield. "Dude, my night did not include walkin' in on ya fuckin' the shit out of Ilia. Next time lock the door."

_Gods… Unbelievable._

Before Tseng could open his mouth, I yanked his hand to follow me to our section of the estate. We got to our room and locked the doors behind us.

I couldn't help but to burst out laughing hysterically and slide down the frame of the door.

"This is not funny."

He was so pissed.

"Yes, it is." I couldn't breathe from laughing so hard.

"Are you fucking kidding me!?"

I was snorting now. _Seriously._

You could tell that Tseng was livid, but it wasn't long before even he joined in and finally let go.


	13. the past is the past

_[from the perspective of Ilia Rovnovsky]_

* * *

**_1996, April_**_ – If I had to listen to Jacques complain about my eye rolling during social gatherings one more time – I'm going to fire him. Gods, that man can be so infuriating. Who fucking cares about the tabloids. They're going to get material even if its pulled out of thin air._

_I don't want to die being remembered as just a coat hanger. Why can't he just accept me this way._

_"Ilia!" The barista called from behind the counter, snapping me out of my thoughts. I could smell the sweet aroma of the caramel coffee placed on the counter. My favorite little hole in the wall café; the coffee wasn't exactly anything to write home about… But something about this place felt like home even on a shitty day. I'd been coming here for years; such a quaint little joint with all of its flaws and character, and the company that it kept… always an intriguing bunch. My mom used to tell me I would get myself in trouble hanging in these parts of town. One of the very few places where one could go and relax, no matter their occupation or allegiance. It was neutral grounds._

_I grabbed my coffee, thanking the gentleman behind the counter and took a sip as I turned to leave._

_That's when I noticed someone sitting alone at the back table off in a corner. Strong, youthful features that peered down at a book in his hands. I sipped at my coffee slowly as my eyes curiously studied him. His features were masculine but not overly so, fair skin and straight hair gathered into a short ponytail, save for a few escaped strands. He had a tiny tilak on his forehead like a permanent mark. Maybe it was a freckle. I felt a hitch in my breathing as I watched him take a sip from his own coffee cup, gently setting it down on the tabletop as he turned a page of the book, and I felt my legs starting to move on their own._

_"Was it on the best sellers recommended list?" I asked, taking another sip of coffee after approaching him._

_He took a second to react – whatever it was, must have been a good passage. "Excuse me?"_

_"The book." I pursed my lips._

_"Oh," He blinked up at me, closing the book to read the cover as if he had forgotten what he was doing. "…It's about love and war."_

_"Two powerful fate defying realities." I said as I tilted my head slightly to the side. No idea where I mustered up the courage, but without realizing it, I had already leaned in, reaching out a hand to tuck a wisp of hair behind his ear, my fingers lingering on his cheek before withdrawing. "There, now you can continue uninterrupted." All I could manage to do was give a small smile. What was I doing.._

_He stared at me for what felt like forever before his lips slightly turned upright, "Ilia."_

_He knew my name!_

_"Not fair.. I don't know your name."_

_He straightened himself in his seat, using his foot to push out the seat across from him, "Would you like to join me?"_

_"My, my… Aren't you the charmer." I felt myself whisper through a smirk. I took the seat, crossing my legs as I continued to drink my coffee and watch him._

_"Hardly a charmer." He chuckled, lifting his book again to continue from where he left off._

_"You ask me to sit and then bury your face back in the book?"_

_He glanced up at me over the top of the book, "Your cheeks were flushed as you took the coffee from the barista. Probably hadn't had coffee all day and the aroma tingled your senses. You turned around to absorb your surroundings; something about this place seems to warm your thoughts. Wasn't long before you started to stare in my direction, and strategized your approach."_

_"Am I supposed to be impressed by your keen observation skills?" I asked, arching my brows in curiosity. It was a valid enough question but I still kept my smile to show that I wasn't put off._

_"I've seen you in metro magazines at the stands, kind of hard to not recognize you." He laughed, smiling at me with this warm, gentle look on his face. "And when you finally came over, I thought to myself… What kind of life would a woman like Ilia Rovnovsky live with a guy like me."_

_"The kind of life stories people pass along from generation to generation of two extraordinary lives intertwined and fleeting." I toyed around with a ring on my thumb, turning the silver band slowly with my index finger._

_I saw him place down the book as his gaze studied me, "Why would I ever want you to be a fleeting pastime?"_

_He was so serious when he asked me that question that it caught me off guard. It felt like this wasn't our first conversation together and the ease of being in his presence more like familiarity rather than uncharted territory._

_He shook his head, pressing his fingers to his lips for a moment. "Tseng."_

_My cheeks were hot from the flares of anticipation. I felt an aching sensation to feel his fingers caressing my skin._

_"I don't think I've ever had the pleasure of meeting anyone quite like you, Ilia. Frankly, I don't think I've ever had enough patience to even hold a decent conversation."_

_"You aren't so bad yourself, Tseng." I bit my lower lip._

_The way his arms embraced me that day; strong and confident as he pinned me against the wall of an alleyway. His hands as they held my face still and his mouth possessed mine. My little moans against his lips as his hips pressed into me. The crushing waves of youth…_

* * *

**_1997, March_**_ – There's a loud thud against the door. I remember rushing over to answer and finding Tseng leaning against the doorframe holding onto what looked like a bleeding side. The last time I saw him was during our brief encounter almost a year prior, barely hearing a word from him until he showed up at my doorstep that night. I ushered him in and lead him over to a bench near the door._

_I went back into the living room to get everyone out of my apartment. It was only a few of us girls -we had gathered together for drinks and gossip, maybe some yay-ko on the side as an after work venting session._

_"Kira!" I called out to the youngest of the bunch, placing some gil in her hand. "Go straight home, ok? We're still in the slums, even if it's a nicer neighborhood."_

_"Sure, whatever." I saw her trying to get a glimpse of him as I moved her through the door and finally shut it._

_I helped him over to my couch and ran into the kitchen to start up a bowl with clean water and gathered together some dish towels._

_"All I could think about was your face."_

_"My face?" I felt terrfieid, "That's all you can think of saying to me after not seeing me for 9 months?"_

_I returned to his side, starting to unbutton his shirt as he laid back wincing on the sofa. He was sweating and his eyes were tightly shut as he grunted. "I told you I wasn't much of a charmer."_

_"Ya don't say." I slowly opened the front of his shirt, trying not to move him too much. "What the fuck happened to you?"_

_He opened his eyes and looked at me with furrowed brows. "I didn't want to get you involved."_

_"Get me involved?"_

_He nodded to me, grabbing my hand to stroke his thumb against the backside – hesitant. "I'm a Turk, Ilia."_

_"And? I'm a model, not an idiot." I yanked my hand back and soaked a towel, wringing it out and gently applying it to the cut. Thank Leviathan it was just a flesh wound. It looked like something sharp grazed him. The bruises on his torso were far worse though. Did he really think a slum girl didn't have her connections for information…"You know.. It was shocking at first to put all the pieces together. I mean, what good can come out of being acquainted with a Turk. I could either run away scared, or find a way to live with it. Growing up in the slums kind of numbs you to the cruelty of the world… It took some time for me to realize that we aren't just our jobs."_

_"I shouldn't have underestimated you."_

_"No, you shouldn't."_

_I got up to grab the bowl when he grabbed my arm and pulled me. "Itoshii…"_

_"I know that look."_

_"I might have done something on purpose to see you…"_

_"You crazy bastard," I breathed heavily as he pulled himself upright and grabbed me by the hips to pull me closer. "Don't." I blurted out as I noticed him wince again._

_"I've had worse done to me."_

_"How can you think about this after being beaten? I'm not contributing to your injuries!"_

_His hands explored the material of the dress skirt that I was wearing, until they started to pull up the hem. My face was already scarlet and my panting heavy as I watched him. He looked up at me as he slowly slid off my panties. He knew full well what he was doing to me – I missed him. I needed to feel him as part of me. The sound of his buckle being undone gave me a butterfly sensation deep down and then he directed me to sit facing him in his lap. Our mouths embraced and my arms wrapped around him as I moaned against it._

* * *

_I woke up on the floor with my cheek against the carpet. Surprisingly, Tseng was laid out next to me on his back with his head turned -watching me._

_"Sleeping with your eyes open.. is that something they teach you at Turk school?"_

_"Hmm."_

_"If you were trying to find a hiding spot, this probably wasn't the best option to go for."_

_"I know my way around the slums well enough to not be seen."_

_I didn't know anything about him. How could we be so drawn together and not know anything about each other? What were his parents like? Did he have any children? What kind of food did he like to eat?_

_"Do you have any pets?"_

_"No."_

_"Favorite color?"_

_"Red."_

_"Really? I would have guessed blue." I snickered._

_He smiled at me._

_"Favorite side of the bed?"_

_"Depends, mostly the left though."_

_"Good. I like the right side."_

_We were interrupted by the beeping sound of what turned out to be a PHS in his pocket. He pulled it out and flipped it open, pressing it to his ear._

_"Tsen- Yes, sir… No, not yet… Indisposed…. Of course."_

_He flipped it shut and stared for a while._

_"I have to leave."_

* * *

**_1999, December_**_ – It was a strange night – The skies were clear and the stars were bright and I stumbled out of the bar in the arms of another man. Happy drunk love as he swung me around and I wrapped my arms around his neck to kiss him. It was faintly snowing, small droplets of snowflakes melting against our skin as we held each other tightly._

_"I'll see you tomorrow?"_

_"Yea, I'll give ya a call."_

_We parted ways and I lingered to watch him as the image of him grew smaller with the distance between us. Jacques would murder me if he found out I had been out all night drinking. I swore to myself and turned in the opposite direction to begin my journey home. Mark was really growing on me as of late._

_"Itoshii…"_

_My body froze._

_"Ilia," Tseng called to me again as he stepped out from an alley. He wore that trademarked navy blue suit, his hair still gathered up in a slightly longer ponytail now. "It's good to see you." I noticed someone else near him, strikingly bright red hair that moved in the light breeze as smoke danced around his face making it hard to see. He wore a similar colored suit, though unkempt and his white shirt not tucked in. Sloppy._

_I furrowed my brows. What is this kid doing here.._

_"I've missed you…"_

_"Miss me?" I snapped back, regaining my ability to speak and move. I approached him. "If I recall correctly, I wasn't the one who went anywhere."_

_The young man finally showed himself under the dimly lit street light, with a half cocked smirk on his mouth and the cigarette held tightly between his teeth. "I'll leave ya guys alone, yo." He shoved his hands in his pockets, nodding his head slightly in my direction. What a peculiar young man – no surprise that he was destined to be a lady killer once he was older._

_Tseng sighed, gesturing a hand in his direction as he leisurely strolled a few meters away from us, still waiting around as if he were a lookout._

_He turned his attention back to me and seemed to be taken back by my question. Maybe he thought I would throw myself in his arms after 2 years?_

_"I'm not your fuck buddy for when you are lonely and need a good time." I spat, continuing on my path home as I pushed by him._

_He reached out, grabbing my arm to stop me. "That's not what this means." It felt like sparks were shooting out from where he touched me. His grip set me on fire._

_"That's what it seems like. Showing up like this, out of nowhere." I pushed back at him. "Do you know how difficult it was to try and get you out of my head?"_

_"Did you?"_

_"Did I what?! GODS, you are ridiculous! If I had, we wouldn't be having this conversation!" I was pissed. Pissed at him for making me have to admit it. For making me wait._

_He scooped me into his arms and passionately kissed me as if his life depended on it and I didn't even put up a fight. I was eager to kiss him; desperate for even just the feel of his mouth. We separated, gasping for air as our lips barely touched each other. I stared up at him, my cheeks rosy from the cold. The snowing had stopped, though the cold had settled in already. Who the fuck was I kidding… Getting over him was impossible._

_"I hate you."_

_"I deserve that."_

_"You deserve a lot worse." I could feel my heart fluttering under his gaze._

_"I'm sorry… I'm a coward when it comes to being with you."_

_I brought my hands up to place them on his shoulders, rubbing them and then moving my hands down his arms. I looked down to the collar of his shirt, adjusting his tie and placed my hands on his chest before looking up at him again. "If you walk out on me again, you will never see me…"_

_He moved his head back a little, looking down at me and studying my eyes as if he were trying to measure their intensity. I wanted to cry, but I needed to show him how serious this was to me. I needed to make him understand…_

_"Ever."_

_The man accompanying him jogged over to us, stopping to run in place. "It's fuckin' freezin' – can we go, yo?"_

_Tseng grunted, playfully putting his hand on the younger man's head and ruffling his hair. I'd never really seen him acting so carefree with anyone else. They laughed together, the red head swatting at him._

_"Ilia, this is Reno."_

_He looked at me, bowing slightly. "Nice ta meet ya. Tseng's told me a lot about you."_

_I looked over to him, quirking a brow. "And they say women gossip."_

_He shrugged with a light hearted sigh, "What can I say.. It's always just been you."_

_"Flattery will get you nowhere near my pants," I snorted, snaking my arm through the crook of his. Reno walked in front of us with his arms draped over what looked like a nightstick positioned behind his head. "I'm assuming you guys work together?"_

_"Tseng's the boss."_

_"Mmm. The boss." I repeated, winking at Tseng._

_There was something soothing about the three of us as we walked together. It was light hearted – Nothing like what I expected considering their occupation. They seemed like good friends, rather than a boss and an employee. To share a personal side of him… this person had to be someone important._

_We passed by a bar with a voluptuous woman dancing in the bay window looking out to the streets. Reno stopped dead in his tracks._

_"And this is my cue. Laters!" He grinned, making his way inside the bar._

_Tseng and I laughed together, shaking our heads._

* * *

_I could feel the pressure mounting, "Tseng!" I cried out._

_"Mmm?" I could hear him murmur._

_My breath was catching; words barely making any sense as I mumbled, grabbing onto the bed sheets below me. My body was betraying me as it liquefied into a puddle around me and collapsed._

_"Fuuuuckkk.." The words rolled off my tongue as my mouth stayed open and I laid there sprawled out._

_Tseng peeked his head up from between my thighs, my chest heaving as I caught my breath._

_"Do you want to get married?"_

_"What?" I propped myself up on my elbows, staring at him. "Wait, w-what did you just say?_

_"Married."_

_Married? I threw myself back. Was he insane? We barely knew each other. We got together for sex. As upsetting as it was for him to disappear on me – I understood it; we both lead demanding lives consumed by our jobs. The modeling gig was really starting to kick off for me now too. I had plans to move to the upper plates since Jacques got me a deal at the Le Faunz agency. But get married.. What the hell would that do for either of us? All we had were fragments of time together – amazing, mind blowing times.. but was that enough substance?_

_I looked up at the ceiling. Married… and to a Turk, of all people. _

_"…Ok."_


	14. when you were mine

_[from the perspective of Kira Ruiz...]_

* * *

So a lot of you may come to wonder how I got a hold of so much land in Wutai. Well, it's simply… really fucking well positioning.

When I reigned over Midgar with Reno in the drug world, I'm gonna tell you we really reigned. It wasn't the lifestyle of you're usual dealer – up against the law, all the perils and doubts and debilitating stress. I knew the MPD had my back, I knew Shinra was on my side (even if through a back door), and I knew I had an assassin and his team of assassins protecting me.

Sure there was the occasional rival dealer that'd wanna take our spot. Clueless really – of what was going on. Let's say, we had a license to kill.

Well, with support like that – Reno and I had plenty of room to breathe. It didn't take much to build an empire over all eight sectors of the city, with plans in the works to expand to Junon. We had hands in several interesting ventures.

With all that cash, who wouldn't wanna invest in some real estate?

Lord Godo was reluctant at first to sell any of his land in the north, but soon changed his mind when we expressed interest in taking our cash to my mother's homeland in the south. Though 'loyal' to him, the local lords did have some amount of sovereignty. With any additional funds, I'm sure he feared a civil conflict. And let's be real, after the war, Wutai didn't need any additional drama.

* * *

Fast forward.

"Here ya go, Kira!" One of Rafael's girls – my least favorite of them – set down a pot of green tea with breakfast. Miso soup, sashimi, sticky rice, and a cucumber salad. It was Monday morning at the Biggs. We didn't open until 5pm, so I took the time to enjoy the quiet dining hall and catch up on some work.

"Thank you, Cherry. Gomashio?"

"Oh! Of course, coming right up!"

She scampered off and bumped into Rafael, who was holding a jar of the requested condiment. She thanked him in her usual bubbly manner and joined the other girls, who were rehearsing a dance performance for later tonight. Cherry was clumsy as fuck.

Rafael slid in next to me and handed me the spice. I gave him a knowing eye. "Thanks. How ya doing?"

"Oh. Good. Little stressed. I know we're expecting a slow evening tonight, with all the guests leaving town. And then there's the issue of some of the girls just being… not so graceful." He sighed, his gaze drifting off to the group practicing with their choreographer.

"Hmm. By some girls you mean Cherry, right? She's a hot mess."

"Ugh! She's really sweet, but yes… her mannerisms need a bit of work. The customers love her though! Maybe I should just keep her at hostess level and not involve her in any of the performances."

"Maybe that's a good idea. As they say, gentlemen prefer a blonde. Even if she is a graceless twat."

He laughed. "What are you working on?"

"Just answering emails. I met with Jacques and Suzanna about some entertainment venues, which is great. But now I need to think about growing the population. I'm talking to the director of Renoir Academy about constructing a new campus here – that'll attract some wealthy families. I'm introducing her husband to an agricultural expert on sustainable farming. And tomorrow I'm meeting with Godo to discuss Wutaian business regulation. My proposal is to require any corporation expanding in Wutai to profit share with their employees. Like they have a stake in the company or something. I dunno. I still don't understand all this legal bullshit. Drug dealing doesn't necessarily prep you for this kinda thing."

"Hah! Do you really think those corporate fat cats are gonna be ok with profit sharing?" Rafael poured us each a cup of tea.

"They'll have to be if they want to expand here. And it would only be for Tian Tan locations. I want the people living here to feel prosperous. I know what it's like growing up in poverty and I don't wish that on anybody. And hey, the more money people are making, the more they'll go out! And places like the Biggs…"

"Cha-ching!" Rafael smiled and we clinked tea cups. "You have a lot on your plate, Kira. Don't stretch yourself too thin."

"Heh. Too late." I sat back and rubbed my eyes. "The emails and meetings are literally never-ending. Steven Lowe – that ecologist I met – has a geologist friend he wants me to meet. She thinks there are untapped hot springs in this area. They're all over the Da-Chao. Can you imagine? We could turn Tian Tan into an _onsen_ destination."

"You mean, an even bigger tourist trap! Oh, Yuffie will _love_ that."

I rolled my eyes. "She'll get over it. It's not gonna be cheesy – I won't let it be. And we can make a fuckin' _killing_. Spa &amp; culinary tourism are very popular right now. The world is recovering, people are ready to be happy and spend money again."

"Thank the gods for that! The last few years have been more than a little depressing."

"Yea it's good to see things on the up. I'm planning a party next month at my estate. For Reeve's birthday."

"Mmm-hmmm…"

"What is _that_ supposed to mean? You better not be thinking about what Reno said the other night."

"Well, you and Reeve have been seeing a lot more of each other."

"It's work related."

"Kira, I know you find him attractive. And he is definitely into you. Just saying, Reeve could be a great match."

"You _really_ don't like Reno, do you?"

"I guess I don't know him well enough, but it's nearly impossible for me to warm up to him – for obvious reasons. But beyond that, I think you deserve someone you can rely on a little more."

There was nothing that annoyed me more than people trying to 'fix' my relationship issues, trying to direct me in the 'right' direction. "Rafael, I know you mean well, but you don't know anything about mine and Reno's relationship. I know he seems unreliable on the surface, but there is no one I rather have at my back."

"You love him a lot."

"Too much sometimes." I sighed and sipped my tea.

"I don't know how you do it – the whole open marriage thing – that would drive me _insane_."

I shrugged. "I'm a practical person; people need touch and affection. We only see each other several times a year. And sex doesn't equal love, so neither of us truly feel threatened by anyone. We're open minded, and I may not be as promiscuous as Reno but I ain't no prude."

"Yea, I understand it from a practical stand point, but what about emotionally? I just couldn't deal."

"Well you see how we deal with it emotionally… we fight. That's usually enough, and then we move on."

"I guess I just don't understand how you 'move on.'"

"We lives separate lives right now, ya know. But our love is unconditional, so even if I get upset, my perspective is that he hasn't really done anything to betray me. He's just living his life… I guess it's hard to explain to someone who isn't in it."

"No I get it! I think… you're both very accepting of each other."

"Yea. Plus, you have to understand – if him and I were to ever be together again, like really be together, I would not tolerate infidelity. We've broken up over it before in the past, and in the beginning of our relationship he had some trouble being faithful, I think 'cause he was so used to playing the field. But once him and I really settled down, that _did_ stop. I do trust him."

"Or maybe he just got better at hiding it."

"Hah! In case you haven't noticed, Reno is incapable of hiding things from me."

Speak of the devil.

"Hey babe," Reno took a seat next to us. His hair was damp and he wore grey sweats pants and a soft cotton tee. It was nice seeing him out and about in lounge clothes instead of his usual disheveled suit. Made me feel like I was at home with him again.

"Hey. How was the spa?"

"Just what the doctor ordered, ya shoulda joined me."

"Too much to do."

"Next time," he winked at me then flashed his grin over at Rafael. "Mornin', Rafael."

"Good morning, Reno," he said, rising from the table. "I better get back to prepping the girls for tonight. Would you like me to send over some breakfast?"

"Yea, what Kira's having. Thanks, man."

Rafael left us in peace. He always found a way to conveniently sneak off when Reno showed up.

"I get the feeling that guy doesn't like me much."

"Well you dropped the plate on his lover."

"Not on _purpose_."

"Actually you did. You made the decision to go through with it, so it was _quite_ 'on purpose.'"

"_Don't_ _fuckin_' _start_ this argument with me. You _know_ why I had to do it."

"Yes, I know. And you've been officially pardoned by the WRO blah blah… you're forgiven."

"Then why ya trying to pick a fight with me, baby?" He pulled me over onto his lap and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Sometimes I think about what it would've been like if you had come to Wutai with me."

"Don't think about it. The past is done. What woulda happened is we'd be dead right now."

I nodded, burying my face in him, smelling his clean skin. I fell into him with an exhale, gently purring, slowly moving to suck on his flesh. A shiver went through his body.

"Hmm keep doing that and I'll have to take ya upstairs."

"Oh… well that just sounds like a _terrible_ idea…" I giggled and nibbled.

Everything around us melted into a blur. These days had been bliss, with the opening of the Biggs and Reno taking vacation time. He hadn't spent longer than a weekend at a time in Wutai since I'd been living here.

"Hi!" Cherry again. Her sense of fucking timing couldn't have been worse. "Your breakfast, Mr. Reno!"

Reno sighed as I shimmied off his lap, straightening my clothes. "Thanks, doll. Can you grab me a pack of Lucky Strikes?"

"Sure, Mr. Reno!"

When she was out of ear range I started to crack up. "'Mr. Reno!' Hah that girl's a ditz. I'm pretty sure she's gotta crush on ya."

"Can ya blame her?" he smirked, pulling me into his lap. He began feeding me in between his own bites. Holy fuck… was this a second honeymoon? It made me feel elated yet vulnerable, knowing it would end the moment he left town.

"So what ya got planned today, babe?"

"Some more emails and organizing my schedule a bit, then Ilia's coming down to discuss an old friend of hers who wants to set up a factory here – completely vertically integrated – cut, sew and dye."

"Heh… bet you're excited for that."

"Hell yes. Can you imagine how far we'll go when we bring the fashion industry here? Fashion week in Tian Tan!? Hella parties, hella cash, hella fun."

"Yea. Them fashion folk don't fuck around. How's Ilia feel about it?"

"Eh. Less than thrilled. She's burnt out on that whole scene. But she gets how good it'll be for the city."

"Proud of ya baby." He placed a kiss on my cheek then glanced at his phone. "Let's hook up for lunch then go for a swim back at the house?"

"Ok yea. Would you slow down, you're eating like a pig."

"Sorry babe – gotta meet up with the director."

"Tseng's still in town?"

"Yeah. You haven't seen him?"

"No. I'm sure he's avoiding me."

"Hmm yea. He thinks you're a bitch."

"I know what he thinks of me. And I don't fucking care. I don't _like_ him either."

"C'mon Kira, looks like him and Ilia are reconciling. Maybe it's time for a truce."

"I don't trust him."

"Well whatever. Heh. You two could be fucking twins with your fuckin' stubborn, moody attitudes."

"Pfft."

"Heh. Ya know I'm right. There was a time when you guys were friends. I remember it well – ya'lls secret language of eye rolls and holier-than-thou sighs." Reno teased me, clapping his hand against my ass. "Ok babe, get up. Gotta go."

"Alright. Love you."

"Love you, too. Try an' play nice with the boss, k?"

"I can't promise I'll try. But I'll try to try."

"Good enough for me," he winked.

With a lingering goodbye, we parted. I watched his carefree walk, bumping into Cherry, picking her up and spinning her around as he took the pack of smokes from her hand. She blushed and joined me in ogling him. I couldn't help but smile.

Ugh. Falling in love with him all over again. This was a dangerous game.

* * *

The next several days flew by in a whirl of sex and celebrating, wining and dining; friends. With Reno's urgings, I tried to be open once again with Tseng. Truthfully, faking nice isn't my forte. I suck at it. But walking in on Tseng and Ilia fucking in one of our guest rooms did help a bit to lighten my mood towards him. I guess great minds do think alike after all…

But more than anything, it was just lovely to see Ilia alive again. Barely more than a week of having her beloved husband around, and the fire was back in her eyes. She was glowing, already making plans to starting working again – opening an art gallery not too far from the Biggs. A little closer to the beach.

The air was tense and somewhat melancholy as Reno packed his bags. I stood in one of my favorite dresses, arms crossed, watching him. We were dealing with his departure in our usual way – denial and silence.

"I wish you didn't have to go…" I said, the air finally too thick to not speak.

"Baby. Don't start this."

"Start _what_? Sharing my feelings?"

"You know what I mean. I can't stay."

"Yea. I know. I get it. You're busy. So am I… whatever. I know you have to go." I heard that raspy crack in my voice. The rare tears were brewing.

Reno came and cradled my face, pressing his lips to mine. "I'll be back."

"Tch. Yea. When? Last time it was months-" He hushed me with fingers.

"I won't let that happen again. You know things are changing…"

"Yea? You promise?"

"Promise."

Our driver took us to the far end of the property where the airstrip was. Ilia and I stood, watching our men board a heli and drift out of sight. They disappeared into the eastern horizon and Ilia and I turned to each other. For once, I was the first to break down in tears. With a sweet and silent sob, Ilia held me.

"Don't worry, dear. They'll be back soon this time… I know it."

* * *

Weeks passed. Everything carried on as usual. For days I moped over Reno's absence. Late night drinking sessions with Nami, partying at the Biggs. Endless cigarettes. Turning up to tune out how much I missed him… But there were too many things going on; exciting things. After a few too many hangovers, rescheduled meetings, and time wasted poolside, I decided to get back into my business groove.

Things fell into a comfortable pace. Several times a week we dined at the Biggs. And even though most of the patrons who supported us left town, there was still quite a nice buzz. New tourists and investors were appearing every day – attracted by the newness of Tian Tan and the beaches that were lovely year round.

Ilia and I had taken to dining together more lately. I think we found solace in each other's longing for our men. Rafael and Nami were understanding, but neither could relate. No matter how much you care for someone, or how much you know you should shut your mouth and stop incessantly talking about someone… well, shit gets old. No one wants to hear about it 24/7. Ilia would allow me my pining because it was hers to share. The equal parts of hope and frustration in the changing turbulence was all we could think about.

"So let's talk about something else," I said. "I think Reno and Tseng's ears must be in fire by now."

Ilia snorted, careful not to not choke on the chardonnay she sipped. "Oh, they love it. But a change in topic would be healthy."

"I have an idea. For your art gallery."

"Oh…?"

"I met with that geologist woman – Elba. She thinks there are hot springs close to the beach where you want the gallery. How do you feel about drilling there? We wouldn't turn it into an _onsen_, nothing too crowded. Just maybe for private gatherings? Build a lush, traditional Wutaian garden. I think it could be sexy."

"Mmm I like that idea! But yes, you're right… I wouldn't want it to be anything too public or crowded."

"More just part of the scenery. Water is so important in Wutain culture… and you have all of those fish tanks you want to decorate with."

"Yes! And the gardens! Oh Kira, I love it!"

She embraced me with a happy, throaty laugh. I smiled, happy to have Ilia back in my life full time.

"Have you decided on a name yet?"

"Hmm… um… n-no, not yet…"

There was a sudden commotion just outside the door, distracting me from our conversation. I heard the host who was guarding the room raise his voice to a potential intruder.

"I'm sorry sir, but I can't let you in," the host said. "Ms. Ruiz didn't inform me she'd have a visitor by that name."

"Can ya at least go talk to 'er?" the stranger's voice said. It sounded familiar. "I promise ya – I'm not lyin'."

"I have strict orders to not disturb her tonight, sir."

"What's going on?" Ilia glanced at me.

"I feel strange…" I said, standing up. My stomach dropped and my heart raced. So familiar…

"Look man, please? C'mon! Jiro Ruiz, I'm 'er brother!"

An involuntary gasp left my throat. "_Jiro_!" I yelped. My heart pounded in my ears, my limbs shaking with adrenaline as I darted over to the door, throwing it open.

"Kira!" He flung himself at me and took me in his arms. "Kira…"

Tears fell freely from my eyes and I let out sobs so violent it shook both of our bodies. The host at the door had the intuition to bow quickly and shut the door behind us, giving the privacy we needed. Jiro shushed me, pet my hair, kissing the top of my head as he rocked me. I felt his own tears fall onto my shoulder and slide down my back.

"Jiro… Jiro…" I chanted between wails. My baby brother…

"It's ok. Hey… it's ok. I'm here now. I'm here."

"_Sweet gods…_" Ilia whispered.

"I thought you were dead." I gained some composure. Good gods, it was amazing to look into my brother's eyes again. My own smile mirrored back at me.

"I nearly was," he pet my cheek, kissed my forehead. Something had changed. The usual mischievous, cocky glisten to his gaze was replaced by something haunted and weathered. "Aw but sis! It's so good to see ya… so good. Thought I wouldn't again. Then suddenly you're all over the papers. Took a while to get together the cash for the journey 'ere."

"Where were you? Why didn't you call?"

"Just south of Junon. Lost all my contacts… everything! Gone."

"How'd you get out of Midgar?"

"It wasn't easy. When the shit was goin' down with Meteor, all the prison personnel fled. Didn't bother to unlock any of the cells, ya know. Guess they'd figure we'd all rot no matter what happened. But hey, ya know I've always been resourceful, sis." He gave me that trademark Jiro grin – charming and boyish. Could melt any girl's heart.

"Resourceful as you are fuckin' reckless," I lectured, lightly slapping the side of his head.

"Hey! Don't start with that shit! Just be glad to see me." He held me tightly again, picking me up off the ground and spinning me.

I laughed, feeling like a little girl again. Even though he was two years younger, he surpassed me in size at a fairly young age. I was always the one being tossed around and beat at anything athletic.

"C'mon, ya must be hungry. Join us."

"I'm starved."

* * *

It's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. At least in cases of family. Jiro and I were close as children but drifted apart into our teenage and adult years. He turned out to be a real troublemaker – careless and flashy, just out to cause commotion and gain attention for his delinquency. In my early twenties, I just remember being angry and annoyed with him all the time.

I did love him though. Even more now that he seemed grounded, more introspective – mature. I was glowing in a way that even Reno didn't make me glow.

We all retired to the estate. Ilia opened a bottle of wine. She took the cue that all I wanted was to bask in the presence of my own flesh and blood. She gave Jiro a tight hug and retired to her chambers. Jiro and I took our drinks outside, slipped off ours shoes and dipped our feet in the pool.

"Have you heard from Leena?"

He shrugged. "She don't want nothin' to do with me. Don't blame 'er either. Last I heard she married some guy in Mideel, dj-ing at the tourist spots down there. Gotta couple o' kids."

"Hmm well she did a pretty good job at distancing herself from us."

"Got sick of the whole scene. That's my fault."

"Heh. I'm sure Reno and I had something to do with that, too."

"Well, who cares? The ones who really mattered stuck around." He lit two cigarettes and handed me one. "So how you an' the old ball an' chain doin'?"

"Good. It was really rough for a while with everything going on in the world, but we're better now. He promised he'd come to Wutai more often."

"An' what bout you goin' to Midgar?"

"I haven't been back in over five years. Can't really say I wanna."

"Do it for him, sis." He winked, nudging me.

"I'll think about it…"

"Still stubborn as all hell." He laughed and threw his arm around my shoulders.

* * *

If you're enjoying the saga so far, please check out our blog for more regular updates, as well as a timeline and character bio page. makoreactions . wordpress . com


	15. papi pacify

_[from the perspective of Kira Ruiz...]_

Mid afternoon on a Friday. I strolled into the Biggs, greeted by the chaos of Rafael and the girls decorating for the autumnal feast. He was really going all out. The place looked gorgeous, and the menu he had emailed me for review was exquisite – everything homegrown or hunted in Northern Wutai. I'd expect nothing less to honor the patron deities of the season – Hades the underworld god that ruled over life and death, and Titan who brought both chaos and abundance to Gaia. And since this was Wutai, we always honored Leviathan and his consort Phoenix above all.

The weather out was getting cold. I dreamed of frolicking in the _onsen, _but none would be done in time for the Winter solstice. Drilling had just begun. It probably wouldn't be until the next season that we could have a holiday grand opening.

Shinra and the WRO had chosen our establishment for a large conference this weekend. Lord Godo and his advisors would be attending. It was kind of a big deal, for Wutain royalty to attend. Rafael was training a few of his top girls for tea ceremony. Everything had to be just right to initiate the meetings. There was to be major discussions about business policy and regulation, research and development, infrastructure, etc… a long weekend.

But hey, that was ok. Reno would be here and I'd have plenty of stress relief.

"Kira!" Rafael shouted from across the room, catching up to me. "What are you doing here so early?"

"I have a massage appointment."

"Oh nice, I need one of those. Been so busy!"

"Well it's right downstairs." I winked.

"I know, I know," he waved his hand at me. Rafael was such an overachiever, I was always telling him he needed to take more time for himself. "Is Reno coming to the party tonight, he never RSVP'd?"

"Tch. Of course he's coming. Reno doesn't _RSVP_. He doesn't even have his voicemail set up. But don't worry, he'll be here."

"Oh. Ok. Good. I've… decided tonight I'm going to make an effort to warm up to him. I can't make any promises… but the past is the past and everyone had their part in it. I'm willing to try and forgive."

"Cool. Thanks, Rafael." I gave him a pat on the shoulder and smiled. "I'll see ya later tonight. Try an' get some downtime before the party, yeah?"

"Sure! Enjoy the massage!"

I took the lift downstairs, thoughts of Rafael interacting with my husband. Honestly, even if Rafael did forgive him, I wasn't sure how much they'd get along. Their temperaments were quite different and I saw each of them rubbing each other the wrong way. Like petting a cat backwards.

* * *

I soaked in a private bath – rose petals, exotic oils, soothing jets. Sage and lemongrass burned; relaxing music and singing bowls whispered in the background. I was unwound.

My mind wandered in directions it normally didn't, drifting off to when my life wasn't much different than the hostess girls upstairs. Memories of Midgar… the slums… the karaokes I worked when I was a young girl of fifteen…

_June 1998 –_

_'Fuck this job.' I thought to myself. 'Shitty booze, shitty music, and assholes."_

_Nearly six months of hostessing at the karaokes in Wall Market and I was losing my famous patience. But the money was too good to deny, and I needed it. Mom and Dad sure couldn't afford the two children they brought into this world._

_Mom and Dad would also be furious if they knew what I was doing. But what they didn't know wouldn't hurt 'em, and Jiro was always good at keeping a secret._

_Tonight wasn't so bad I suppose. Was meeting with a regular who wasn't much older than me. He seemed like a wealthy kid from up-plate that liked to come down to party in the seedy slums. Most of the little eighteen year olds that came around were wannabe thugs. Always carried themselves like kings of the underworld down here. Pfft._

_Those were the types of dudes attracted to me. What did they see, a pearl amongst sludge? A jewel in the wastelands they could save? I was all shrewd attitude and finesse under a sweet, waif-ish exterior. A young girl they thought they could mold into their play thing. I wasn't as easy a target as I looked though, and most of them failed to break through the mask I wore for the job. I was a professional – all business with a fake fucking smile, ready to please the client – then gone with your money at the end of the night._

_Jae was different from the rest. We clicked the first time he booked me. Another half breed like me, though mixed with Nibelan as opposed to my Solian heritage. We cuddled the whole night, his touch intuitive to mine. He didn't push me to drink or kiss – with the exception of a few chaste pecks. We were content to relax in the corner and smoke, laughing at everyone else's drunken behavior. _

_He was the one that introduced me to the world of dealing._

_The streets were empty during the after hours partying. We decided to leave early, everyone else inside was still drunk and dancing to the cliche top 40 hits._

_"Let's go back to mine," Jae said._

_"Sure. I gotta fake ID to go up-plate."_

_He chuckled. "I don't live up-plate. I'm from the slums."_

_"Oh… I just assumed you weren't from around here."_

_"Well, I'll take that as a compliment." His smile was confident and alluring, setting off a fire inside and along my skin. We walked comfortably with my arm in his._

_He had an apartment in the nicer part of sector 2. Sector 2 was the 'Wutai town' of the slums – my parents and I lived here too, though in not sucha nice area. The houses were makeshift evolutions of the grand buildings back West. Immediately I felt familiar in his environment of small space, tatami floors, and sliding shoji screens._

_We walked through an iron gate and he locked it behind us. The front courtyard was tiny but filled with a rock garden and succulents. Behind his front door was a narrow hall – kitchen and living room on the left, bathroom and bedroom on the right._

_"I've never done a house call before," I said._

_"I know," he said as he flicked on a blue hued lamp in the living room._

_"I'm not suited for this job."_

_"I know."_

_"I just like you."_

_"It's ok, Kiki. You don't have to explain."_

_"My real name's Kira."_

_"Heh. Ok. Kira. Do you want a drink?"_

_"Yea. Do you have mezcal?"_

_"Haah! That's a funny drink to request."_

_"My dad drinks it. I like it. It's smokey."_

_"Well, I don't have mezcal. I got sake. A nice one – it's good cold."_

_"I like that too." I busied myself looking around the living room while he poured the sake. The decor was modern and posh – a low seated sofa, some floor cushions strewn about the tatami, a large flat screen tv and a few gaming systems. Across one entire wall was a shelf covered in books, records, and little comic inspired curios. I liked it._

_"You live alone?" I asked._

_"Yea. Moved outta my parents bout a year ago. They live on the other side of town. We don't always get along." He set down my glass on the open bar that rested between the kitchen and living room. _

_"Oh." I took a seat on a stool at the bar. "Must be nice living alone."_

_"Yea, I like it." He grinned and disappeared around the corner, reemerging in the living room. "Come, sit."_

_He motioned me to the sofa as he plopped down on some of the floor pillows, gazing at me with a sleepy expression. _

_We spent the next hour talking and sharing interests, laughing and drinking. It was pleasant and made me feel at home. I had been wanting to see Jae outside of the karaokes for quite a while. But he had taken his time to invite me out, and something about that made me like him more. He also tipped better than any of my other customers and never pressured me to do anything I didn't want to. I liked his company. It was easy to fall into, like some magnetic force I already belonged to._

_The conversation quieted and he moved to sit by me. He took the glass from my hand and set it down on the coffee table, all the while keeping me in his gaze. I felt somewhat nervous, but exhilarated. My heart pounded. His stare was intense and smokey, like he was speaking some silent language with his eyes._

_He licked his lips and leaned over to kiss me. Slow and lingering at first… and then the fire grew into something feverish. I was in his embrace, pulled on top to straddle his lap while his tongue danced with mine. I didn't oppose, only matched his rhythm with ease. It was as if our shapes were made for each other, all of our body language playing out its unspoken vibe. Before I knew it he had led me to his bedroom with the grace of a cat enjoying its prey._

_He pinned me to the futon with the force of desire. Everything felt so familiar, and I shed another layer of defense. His kisses were sweet heat and pressure. Passionate and surreal – unlike anything I had ever felt with another boy. More tangible; sensual. The mood hypnotic, like entering a trance together as the world around us slipped away._

_"It's my first time," I caught my breath, for a split second feeling a little intimidated about what I knew was going to happen._

_"It's ok. We'll go slow… if you want to?"_

_ "I do. I just… don't want you to think this is prostitution."_

_"Kira… I know it's not."_

_His lips locked mine again as he slid the straps of my dress down, grazing my shoulders ever so lightly. He broke the kiss to look me in the eye as his hands played against my breasts, his touch grateful for the discovery. I exhaled a moan- long, soft, vulnerable under his stare. Another layer of self shed. I was wet clay in the hands of a lurid sculpter._

_His mouth drank me in like a drunk thriving on his coveted liquor. Warm, slick tongue and lips fed upon me. Hands pressed me to him. I felt safe in his strength. Eyes glowed with devotion in the faint red light of the room. Our clothes were off in moments. He was smooth this one. I shoulda known at the time this was the beginning of the end – something perfect… rare and beautiful that could only end in tragedy._

_How many girls can say the experience of losing their virginity was special? I wished all, but the truth was most of the girls I knew said it fell short of their lofty expectations. I felt blessed to be with Jae._

_Afterwards we shared a hand-rolled cigarette and stared out the window in contentment, watching the shadows of the outside world move against the vines growing on the trellis. We held hands, his thumb tracing mine in repetition. We were flushed and dewey with a layer of sweat. Our lazy, satisfied expressions mirrored each other._

_I couldn't stay. My parents expected me home by 4:30am – half hour after closing time. They thought I worked the nightshift at a bar. And my mom was no lady to mess with – she had trained herself to hear the front door open, close, and lock before drifting right back to sleep._

_Jae dressed me with teasing reluctance, placing a kiss to each limb he had to part with. Before I left he took my face in his hands and gave me a serious look._

_"Stop working at the karaokes," he said. _

_"I wish I could. I need the money. My little brother relies on me to provide for him what my parents can't…"_

_"You'll still be able to provide. I'm going to take care of you. And I'm gonna stop going to the karaokes too. Now that I found my girl." He grinned._

_"Really?" I couldn't helped but smile, stars and hearts in my naive little eyes._

_"Yes. Really. Just please… don't go anymore. I can't stand the idea of you spending time with other men… even if it is all a show."_

_"I don't like it either. It's just… where else can I make $300 a night?"_

_"With me. Trust me, yea?"_

_"I do."_

_We smiled, and for the first time in my life I felt myself falling in love. With this beautiful, enigmatic man who was my savior._

* * *

_May 2001 – _

_Morning, about 6am. We lazily awoke to the blue-grey glow seeping in through the curtains. Jae had one of those fancy natural light replicating systems – it was the only way one could grow plants below plate. Kinda pricey, but it was a nice investment for anyone living slum-life. Money was too tight with my family to ever have one, but in the past three years things had changed and I had bought one for the house as a Winter Solstice gift._

_Dusk was our favorite time of day. Everything felt fresh and unsullied – like anything was possible. Emotions were untainted by the possibilities and complications of the pervading hours. On mornings I slept over, we'd make love until the whole house flooded with the warmth of an artificial day-break, then fall back asleep for another hour or so._

_Nearly three years we'd been together, and not a spark was lost in our chemistry. He still held me with awe in his gaze like he did from the start, no – even more so. I was liquid in his hands and he was a poet lost in his muse._

_He hovered above me, hands interlocking mine, breath heavy and lips parted. Our eyes held silent thoughts and mouths chanted soft whispers of admiration. We were close to the edge and I could feel my heart expanding. So close to his own, beating in echoing rhythm. _

_The waves rushed in, a crashing rush of release, filling us with a warm radiance. I was left in near tears while Jae sighed my name with promises of his undying love. Needless to say, this was a very story-book, happy time for me. I felt lucky, a slum girl who had wandered into a cave of buried treasure. A handsome boyfriend who loved me, took care of me, and got along with my family. Maybe it was a childish eighteen year old way of thinking, but I was sure we'd be married within the next few years._

_How ridiculously romantic and innocent of me._

_Under Jae's tutelage, I had turned into a pretty street savvy young woman. Some of my wide-eyed school girl look had disappeared, adopting a more cool, aloof exterior. But the natural girlish youth that still remained came in handy for the job I did. No MPD suspected a soft, feminine girl like me to be a slum drug dealer. And many of the up-plate citizens that were too intimidated to approach the likes of Jae and his gang had no qualms about buying from me. Jae loved it that way. _

_It had been a few days after I graduated from high school. We were enjoying the coming warmth of summer and my new found freedom. _

_"You should get a job," Jae said. He set down the breakfast he had made on the coffee table and joined me on the sofa. I poured us each a cup of tea._

_"Why? I make enough money dealing."_

_"You always need a cover job. Something you make tips at so you look like a normal, law-abiding, tax-paying citizen. Like I do with bartending."_

_"Alright. I guess I could do something part-time."_

_"I gotta friend at the sushi place in Wall Market. They're looking for a hostess."_

_"Well, I am good at making people feel welcome," I grinned impishly._

_"That you are," he winked and pecked me on the lips. "Oh and one more thing."_

_"What's that?"_

_"Move in with me."_

_I looked up from my food and a moment of silence passed between us. I'd been waiting for this day. Most of my time was spent over at his anyways, it only made sense we live together._

_My smile was wide like a child. "Can I bring my stuff over today?"_

_He chuckled. "Of course!"_

_I crawled into his lap like a kitten and nuzzled under his chin. "I love you."_

_"I love you too."_

* * *

_A month flew by in a haze of good times. Parties and loads of gil flowing in. Simple days at work and long, intimate evenings with my man. Learning more from Jae about the underworld lifestyle and keeping a low profile. I took for granted that it was always gonna be this good._

_It was a Friday afternoon and I was getting off from the opening shift at the sushi joint. I stopped to pick up groceries – I was cooking Jae's favorite in honor of our three year anniversary. Pork xiaolongbao and shumai, stir fry bok choy and shiitake, and bittermelon with beef. A time consuming meal to prepare, but well worth the work._

_Eight o'clock rolled around. I was expecting Jae home and he was rarely late. But I gave him half an hour before I called. No answer. No answer. No answer… At nine-thirty I was worried._

_I tried the boys in his gang, but they either didn't pick up or had no clue where he was._

_At ten, Jiro came over to keep me company. I offered him the uneaten food which he gladly took, but I was too stressed to partake. Before long it was eleven, midnight, one…_

_All my limbs were tightened, face stained with tears. I was trembling, pacing, throwing sporadic tantrums. I knew something had happened. _

_It was nearly three when Jiro slipped me a valium and I passed out._

* * *

_The next morning I awoke to a knock at the door. I was in a fog, disoriented. But then it all came rushing back. I sprinted for the door and threw it open._

_Three of Jae's top guys stood before me. _

_"So. Where is he?"_

_They all glanced at each other. Lo, Jae's second in command spoke. "Jae wanted you to have this." He handed me an envelope._

_"Where the _**_fuck_**_ is he?!"_

_"…He got shot last night. Had some beef with a rival gang leader. He died in the ambulance… on the way to the hospital."_

_My knees failed beneath me and I melted into a puddle on the floor, unable to breathe. I was drowning… dying… this couldn't be real. I felt like I wasn't myself, but some third party watching the whole tragedy unfold, floating disconnected above the clouds. Jiro was by my side holding me, but it was like I couldn't even register his touch._

_With a guttural growl I launched myself at the boys, blindly pounding into them. "Why didn't you call me?! Why didn't you let me see him!? One last time! I could've been there for him… been by his side…" The cries and gasps for air got in the way of my mouth trying to form words. I fell to the floor once more, sobbing. _

_"I'm sorry, Kira," Lo's voice cracked. "It all happened so fast and then… it was too late…"_

_There was a solemn quiet as they all watched me weep. Sorrow hung heavy between the small congregation that lingered in mine and Jae's humble little courtyard. We'd never enjoy breakfast together in our pathetic little slum garden again…_

_"It can't be real… this can't be happening… there's a mistake…." The sound that came out of my throat was foreign. Like a wild animal going mad, a banshee lamenting a lost soul._

_Lo knelt by me and embraced me. "I'm sorry, Kira…"_

_Each of the other boys came to hug me before they left me alone to my grief. Jiro led me inside and prompted I open the envelope. Inside there was a letter._

_Kira, my love,_

_If you're reading this, I'm surely gone. Part of the gig, I'm sure you understand… I pray that you escape this existence. I want better for you… wealth and comfort and safety and happiness. I wish I was there to provide it._

_Promise me that you won't seek revenge. Promise me that you will make a better life for yourself. Don't go down the same path I did._

_There's a safe hidden in a secret compartment on the shelf. You're smart, I'm sure you'll find it. The combination is 01-16-83. Inside is a nice amount of gil and the deed to this house. Maybe you don't want to live here anymore… but it's yours to do with what you like._

_Kira… I love you more than I've ever loved anyone or anything in my life. You're my everything… my stars, my sky, my blood and flesh. Please know… that my love for you is stronger than death. I will always be a ghost by your side, blissfully haunting you until the day you can join me once more. _

_Yours forever,_

_Jae xo_

* * *

_So I sold the house and moved out as soon as possible, into a garage apartment a few sectors away. I was done with Jae's gang, or gangs in general. We had all been one big happy family… and I never wanted that again. _

_I changed. Became colder, more distant. More paranoid and hardened, harsh and distrusting of almost everything around me – especially men and relationships. I also started using. Believe it or not, drugs were never really mine and Jae's thing, despite the occasional joint or rare night of going all in to party and do blow. Jae taught me to not get high off your own supply. Well, to hell with that philosophy now._

_After Jae passed, Jiro started acting up and him and I lost our closeness. And from the outside it looked like I followed Jae's advice – I continued working at the sushi joint, picking up extra shifts. I led a quiet life with few friends, losing myself in the warehouse party scene. Just any other normal slum girl. But under the surface I plotted my revenge, waiting for the right time to strike. It took years for it to happen, but that rival dealer did pay. _

_And of course I kept dealing, but I was more careful about the contacts I used. I kept my high-end customers up-plate, but as far as below… I made all new ones. That's what's good about Midgar, right. She's so huge… you can completely lose yourself in her, become a new person._

_ And that's what I did._

* * *

I'd taken to the habit of wearing gowns for these types of events, abandoning the chic suits I was so known for. There was something even more empowering about looking fabulously sexy at a business conference. Tonight's dress was a sleeveless black turtleneck, cutouts that showed off shoulders and back, floor length and a full skirt with a slit up one side. Silky, smooth, and no nonsense. I felt like a Bond girl.

Guests were arriving, our girls escorting them to a private dining room. I watched from the second floor landing, smoking a cigarette from my golden clip. Everyone was here – Rufus entered with Elena and Rude, followed closely behind by Tseng and Ilia – she caught my eye and gave a discreet wave. She wasn't here for the meeting, it was getting too political for her (hell technically it was too political for me but such is life). She was there to gossip with Rafael and the girls.

Nami entered casually by himself, texting on his phone. Behind him I saw Yuffie pounce, startle him, laugh, then dart back out. She flew by Barret Wallace and Cid Highwind, who both gave her a raised brow. Both had hit it big with oil in their own right and were, similar to I, teaming up with the WRO. I'd never met Cid before, but judging by his reputation I'm sure he was not happy to be involved in all of this.

Tifa entered next with Cloud Strife. Their body language was friendly yet distant. Didn't look like they had reconciled romantically, but I didn't sense there'd be any drama from them.

I wondered where Reno was. In true fashion, I'm sure he'd be the last to arrive. Only on this occasion I hoped he had the sense to show up before Lord Godo and his officials. Yuffie's sudden entrance and departure let me know that her father was nearby. I'm sure he would be upset to know his daughter made such an informal entrance, showing off the regal kimono she wore in such an improper way – without him by her side.

Next entered the head of the WRO himself, Reeve Tuesti, accompanied by an attractive younger woman who I assumed was his secretary, and… the infamous Vincent Valentine. Have to say… I was not expecting him. To my surprise my heart skipped a beat and there was a sudden surge of adrenaline in my belly. My gods, he was even more beautiful in person. Should I be ashamed to admit that I was already scheming a plan of attack? Seduction did intrigue me when the prey was as delicious as him.

It was of course at the moment I was having these thoughts that my dear husband walked through the door. Unkempt and sexier than anyone in the vicinity. My heart skipped another beat. Two such lovely men before my eyes. An amused smirk spread over my lips.

Reno glanced up from his phone and his gaze found me. Flirtation danced across his eyes and the corner of his mouth upturned. Ignoring convention as usual, he grazed past the girls trying to lead him to the dining hall and headed for the stairs.

I heard a voice behind me but it wasn't Reno's.

"Hey sis."

I spun to find Jiro lighting a cigarette. Giving me a lopsided grin, he drifted next to me to throw an arm around my shoulder.

"Excited for the weekend?" he asked.

"Yea. Should be good. Hoping so at least."

"It'll be great, I'm sure of it. And the food they're prepping looks amazin'. I'm down in the kitchen, showin' the cooks some Ruiz family secrets, ya know?"

I laughed. "Is that so?"

"Yo." Reno's voice behind us. We turned to face him. I could sense Jiro's triumphant sneer as he pulled me tighter to him. Oh no… I could feel the impeding pissing contest. Memories of their past shouting matches echoed in my mind.

"Hey baby," I sighed.

"What's this fool doing here?"

"I just got into town a few days ago. Happy to be reunited with my big sis 'ere, eh."

"Well that's just heart-warming yo, " Reno deadpanned. Good gods, couldn't he just be happy for me?

I took a deep breath. "I was gonna tell you, but things have been hectic… thought it'd be a nice surprise."

"Oh yea. Real nice. I'm _thrilled_." Reno walked over in that menacing way he was so good at pulling outta nowhere. I dunno when it happened but he had his nightstick ready to snap out in his left hand. "Look Jiro, I'm sure Kira's real happy to have her idiot little brother back. But if you make one wrong move, I mean _one_… Imma take you the fuck out."

"Hey man, chill. I ain't 'ere to cause any trouble. Lots changed in the past few years, right? Just try an' gimme a chance, yea?"

"Please, Reno." I placed my hand on his arm giving it a squeeze. It took a moment, but he registered my touch and calmed himself, sliding his weapon back to its hidden location.

"Imma get back to the kitchen an' help out."

"Yea. Thanks, Jiro."

Reno was genuinely pissed. I rarely saw such a serious stare spread across his face. His fists were tightened, mouth a straight line. I could see the wheels turning as he tried to talk himself out of his anger. I cozied up to him and linked my arm in his, nuzzling him with the tip of my nose.

"Hey," I cooed. "I missed you."

"Missed you too." Sincere but clipped response.

I buried myself into him, enjoying his scent and texture. I found that favorite spot on the back of his neck and massaged it, scratching his scalp with my other hand as I kissed his neck and whispered into his ear. "Don't worry bout Jiro. Ok, baby? I can handle him. He won't be a problem… I promise. Just let all that bad blood slip away, yea? It's been years… leave the past in the past."

"Mmmm… yea. I trust you…to handle it… baby." By this point he was melting in my hands, nearly purring like a big cat. I coulda told him anything and he'd be cool with it. He let out a long exhale and looked down at me, taking my lips with his and growling. When he pulled away he took in the full view of me.

"Damn girl. How am I gonna concentrate in this meeting with you lookin' like this?" he whispered. "How is _anyone_ gonna concentrate?"

"Mmm well I think that's the point, right? For everyone to be concentrating on me."

His snicker was dark and throaty. His kisses grew in urgency, his grip possessive. I felt my eyes rolling back and legs giving out, but soon sobered. I pulled away, steadying myself. "We don't have time for this. I have to greet Lord Godo. Go join the others."

"Heh. I _love_ when you order me around."

* * *

"Most important – defense. This is where we put our money," it was Staniv, Godo's military advisor, who spoke up.

We had all moved into a meeting room, sitting around a large round table. Clouds of cigarette smoke drifted from various ashtrays, and open bottles of the finest cold sake accompanied by little handmade ceramic cups were littered about the table. The opening tea ceremony had gone smoothly, as had dinner. It was custom in Wutai to start any formal gathering with a friendly dinner, to show camaraderie and trust. Suited me fine. And it was nice to get a few drinks in everyone – made for an open and honest assembly.

"And why do you say that?" I challenged.

"Wutai is very successful right now. Important we protect ourselves."

"That I agree with, and defense will always be accounted for. But after everything the world has been through, I think war is the last thing on anyone's mind."

"Don't be so sure of that," Reno interjected. I furrowed my brow at him. Not that it was uncommon that he and I had a disagreement, but there was something in his tone that told me he knew something I did not.

"That being said," Reno continued. "I don't think the majority of the budget needs to go to defense. We already got a world class army between Shinra and the WRO."

"Yes, but what about a Wutain army? We have the right to be prepared to defend our country." Surprisingly it was Yuffie who spoke. She had been uncharacteristically silent for most of the meeting.

"Rumor has it you're more prepared to defend your country than you'd like everyone to believe, yo," Reno smirked. "That's the thing about an army of ninjas… they're sneaky."

"How dare you talk to Lady Kisaragi this way! How dare you disparage our nation!"

"Please," Reeve spoke. "Do not take offense to Reno's words. He can be… blunt, and rather _improper_," Reeve sent a subtle glare Reno's way. "What he means is, we are happy to have such excellent fighters as allies. And of course I believe Ms. Ruiz knows the value of funding your department of security. We just… believe there are more important things to focus on."

"I agree," Godo spoke. "There is enough to go around. Wutai has not seen such a prosperous time in decades. The whole world is looking to us now, watching what we will do. We need to show them Wutai is a leader in the modern age, built on strong traditions and culture. Let us not focus on violence, but peace. What we can do to better the lives of Wutai's – and Gaia's – people."

I smiled. I liked Lord Godo. He was calm and wise – except for maybe when it came to his daughter. But I liked his breadth of vision and foresight.

"Friends," he continued after a pause, lifting his glass of sake. "Let us put our trust in the younger generations. My daughter will one day be Empress, and I can sleep at night knowing she has such fine comrades. Tuesti-san, Shinra-san, Ruiz-san… let us drink to our alliance."

Everyone followed suit in raising their glasses and took the shot in one gulp. This was the sign that Godo was finished with conversing for the evening. It was near midnight, and we still had two whole days of this ahead of us. Reno squeezed my leg and gave me a salacious look. I knew all the sway I held with the Emperor was a turn on for him. A woman in a boys club who had risen to the top.

* * *

"You're coming back next weekend for Reeve's birthday party, right?"

It was late – or early, depending on how one looked at it. Reno and I lingered in bed enjoying night swim and sex afterglow, putting off sleep to relish in each other's company.

"Maybe."

"What do you mean _maybe_? You've known about this for weeks."

"Yea but… I gotta job. Need to be outta town for a week…or so."

"Or so? How long is 'or so'? And where?"

"Babe. The less you know, the better."

"Oh my gods with this again. Why do you bother with this game? Stop thinking that not telling me about your job is gonna protect me."

"Kira! If something were to happen and anyone was to ever question you, I rather you really not know what's going."

"Oh? So ya tryin' to say I'm some fool that's gonna give you away? All the fucked up situations we've been in together, and when have I even _flinched_? How many times have I been there for you?"

A long moment of silence.

"Yea. _Thank_ you."

After another bout of silence, he decided to speak.

"Have you heard of Godan Power?"

"Yea. The coal and hydropower company based near Gongaga."

"Well, apparently they've struck oil too."

"So? World's a big place, oil's in demand."

"Heh. For how smart you are, sometimes you surprise me with your naivety."

"Ugh." I rolled my eyes.

He grinned and ran his fingers through my hair, stroking my scalp gently. "Hm. It's cute. Somehow you still expect everything to go well, even after all the shit you've been through."

"I'll make _sure_ things go well."

"Yea? Ok… well…I'm here to help you do that. 'S why I'm infiltrating Godan. Do some recon, bring 'em down if I have to."

I sighed. "Infiltrate? Bring 'em down? Reno – you're not a Turk anymore. You're in the tabloids. _Everyone_ knows who you are. How are you gonna _infiltrate_ them?"

"Relax. Geeez.. So, in more news that I shouldn't be telling you, Shinra has been working on some new materia technology. They've been experimenting with linking manipulate and morph materia… and somehow they did something… I dunno even know what. But… the gist of it is, I can change my identity. Kira… it's like shapeshifting or illusion. Something. It's insane. It's a fuckin' trip!" I watched his face beam in awe and excitement. Like a kid with a new winter-time toy. And I couldn't help but smile fondly at how happy he was.

"Is it safe?" Guess I couldn't help but be a little paranoid.

"Course it's safe. Would I do it if it weren't safe?."

"Um. Yea. Ya would."

"_I'll be fine._ I promise. C'mon, you know it's part of the gig."

_Part of the gig, I'm sure you understand… _Jae's parting words flashed through my mind, but I forced myself to bury them. No use thinking the past would repeat itself. Reno was quite different from Jae.

"I know… Just be careful. And don't be gone too long."

"I'll be back before ya know it."

"Will I be able to call you?"

"…There's to be no unofficial communication while I'm in. Gotta keep it secure."

"Right." I sighed. "Ok. Orders from the top. It's not like I haven't endured worse. It's just… I was getting so used to having you around more regularly…" I turned on the charm, wrapping my limbs around him and grabbed the hair at the base of his skull, pulling on it while I played my tongue across his skin.

"Mmm trust me…" he pulled me against him tight, snaking his arms around me and massaging my leg, grabbing my hips, staring me dead in the eye while he pressed himself against me. "I'll hurry back to you."

I tugged a little harder on his hair and looked sharply into his lust-glazed eyes. "Don't get sloppy."

"Pfft. Please. I'm a pro."

* * *

Sunday evening. Late. So late. The meetings were over, the feast was finished. Everyone retired to their respective accommodations. A few close friends back at the estate for drinks, but by now everyone was down for the count.

I was in auto-pilot mode. Denial. Reno had left early that morning for Midgar. Something about prep work for his trip to Gongaga. Needless to say, I was hitting the bottle heavier than usual post-conference.

But it was to be a fun week ahead. Reeve, for once in his life, was taking time off to celebrate his birthday. I was hosting him at the estate. The first time he was staying on the property. I let him know he was guaranteed privacy and plenty of downtime. And to be absolutely wowed by the beauty of Wutai and the prestige of Tian Tan.

There was a knock at the front door – that'd be Reeve. He had stopped by Rafael's loft to pick up his suitcases, so wasn't so far behind us. But Ilia, Rafael and Nami had crashed by now, leaving me alone to entertain.

I opened the door with a smile and there stood Reeve… and Vincent Valentine.

"Hi!" I exclaimed. I was pretty tanked by now.

"Hi, Kira. Hope we didn't take too long." Reeve exhaled.

"Oh, no. It's fine. Everyone just went to bed. But I'm still up. Come in."

"Kira, this is Vincent. I'm not sure if you two have properly met. But last minute I needed him to stay on with me this week. Hope that's ok."

"Of course. No problem. We met briefly at the conference," I said. "Hi, Vincent."

"Thank you for having me. Apologies for this last minute intrusion." He was so formal. Soft spoken yet commanding mannerisms.

"Oh, it's no intrusion at all. I'll show you to your rooms."

I led them down the hall past my bedroom and office, to the Eastern wing. I showed Reeve to the first room on the right. He entered with a sigh of approval, turning to me with a tired, grateful smile.

"Thank you, Kira. This is perfect." He gave me a kind embrace which I easily returned. It felt nice to have Reeve around for something other than work. "I hope you do not mind that I'm turning in now. I'm exhausted."

"It's all good. I'm tired too. Been a long few days. Take all the time you need this week to do absolutely nothing. This is the perfect place for it."

He chuckled. "I will. Goodnight."

Vincent and I continued down the dark hallway. The next door on our left would suit him well. It was a quiet room that was parallel to mine, overlooking the forest as well as having a view of Tian Tan below.

"I hope this suits you, Vincent," I said as I showed him in. I noticed he only carried a small leather bag slung over his shoulder as luggage.

"It's lovely… Ms. Ruiz." His voice was deep and thick, like sophisticated syrup. "You have a lovely home."

"Thank you. Call me Kira."

"Kira."

The way he said my name sent warmth swirling through my body. I imagined his mouth hot against my flesh, and I tried very hard to not to blatantly seduce him in that very moment. Definitely too much alcohol in my system tonight…

"My room is right down the hall, where we came from. On the right. It's the large sliding door. If you need anything."

"Thank you." His smile was polite and stoic… but the look in his eye was sensual. I had watched Vincent a lot throughout the weekend and never saw a look quite like this one. I wouldn't quite call it flirtatious, but something approaching that.

"Goodnight, Vincent. Sleep well."

"Goodnight, Ms- …Kira."

* * *

The next morning we all took breakfast together poolside. I called in my cook who brought fresh fish from the Tian Tan market. She prepared a traditional Wutain breakfast which we enjoyed with champagne and peach cocktails. It was to be a decadent week. Things were already slowing down with work in prep for the coming holidays.

Ilia and Nami wandered off to enjoy the rest of their day, Rafael went back into town. Vincent silently slipped away to explore the gardens, leaving Reeve and I alone. I casually rolled a spliff while we chatted, Reeve pretending to not notice what I was doing.

"Kira, please don't take offense to this, but I've assigned Vincent as your bodyguard while Reno is away."

"What? 'While Reno is away?' It's not like he's even around. And what makes you think I need a bodyguard?"

"This is something Reno and I have been discussing. After his assignment in Gongaga, we think it's best that he spends more time here with you for your safety… and also, he's expressed to me that he would like a proper reconciliation with you. He'd like to live here."

"He said that?"

"Yes. We've arranged for him to be based out of Wutai. Of course he will still need to travel to Midgar from to time to time, but I'm hoping you will join him when he does."

"Um. Ok. Sure. Wow. What a romantic way for him to inform me…" I rolled my eyes, finishing up the joint and lighting it.

Reeve chuckled. "I know it all seems rather business-like, but we _were_ thinking of you as someone we care about. Not just a business arrangement."

"I'm sure you were. But why now suddenly?"

"There's a lot going on, and you're a very powerful woman. I need to know you're safe."

"Reeve. Is there something you're not telling me?"

"No. No," he shook his head in a reassuring way but I knew he was smoothing things over. "It's just preventative. You're a key member of political forces on this planet now, and we need to take necessary precautions."

"I'm not a politician. I'm a business woman."

"Yes. But you are very influential in the political world, Kira… With myself. The Kisaragi family. Rufus."

"Rufus isn't a politician either. Pfft. Whatever… no use arguing. I get it."

"Thank you."

"Just… don't keep things from me. I know there's something going on. Reno wouldn't be on assignment if there weren't."

He sighed. "You're right. We're concerned about Godan."

"Are they a threat?"

"Rumor has it they are amassing a military force."

"Oh…"

"Yes. Oh. Obviously in its beginnings it is nothing truly dangerous. But still, the thought of it means there could be hostility towards us."

"Tch. Or it means they want to protect themselves just like we do."

"Either way. We need to check it out."

"Hm. Or we could just leave them alone. Or maybe invite them to our conferences."

"You're right. Inviting them is a good idea. We're already planning on doing so for the next event. But… in the meantime, we need to learn as much as we can about them."

"Ok. Fine. This is how it's done. You boys and your games."

"Heh. Well, one day I hope the world operates more in the way _you_ envision it, Kira. Then maybe your husband would be by your side and not thousands of miles away. But until then, yes, this is how it's done."

"Don't worry, Reeve. I fully intend to change this world. Just gonna take some time. And a lot more women in power."

But in the meantime, I wasn't gonna complain about having Vincent Valentine as my bodyguard.


	16. unconventional circumstances

_[from the perspective of Ilia Rovnovsky...]_

* * *

This wasn't exactly how I planned on spending one of my free days before Reeve's birthday party. Tseng and I had gotten into a little argument over the PHS regarding certain _insurances_. Something big was going down, and it was becoming shared knowledge within our circle faster than he anticipated. His secretary drafted up a new will and I was instructed to go review it, though the implications of a will weren't exactly something to be eager about. We went through the same ordeal about 10 years ago, and even then, getting me to sign it was like pulling teeth.

The thought of going to Midgar wasn't exactly at the top of my list either, but to get to the WRO, you had to pass by the recovering ruins beyond Edge. The city was still a dreary reminisce of its former glory, though there was a restoration project underway. No completion date set, but the goal was to evolve her structure beyond the old workhorse plate model and come into the new age of technology and innovations.

It was a surreal experience to see the state of the city as we passed hallow shells of new high rises. It seemed like a real city now, still dark and beautiful through the shadows of night, but more open and breathable. I noticed the presence of something that resembled a plate, but it wasn't anything like the old sector plates – No, this was a massive structure that sat connected between some of the higher buildings. A giant upper plate? We suddenly stopped at the bottom of a long stairway which lead up to the current WRO headquarters. I was hesitant to leave the vehicle at first, but eventually made my way up. The guards at the door bowed to me as they lead me into the grand foyer. I went passed the lobby desk, smiling to the receptionists as I approached a pair of elevator doors. Waving a badge over the security panel granted me clearance and I entered. It was the only direct ride up to the executive offices. I got off on Tseng's floor, the elevator doors opening directly into his office. His secretary's desk was positioned just in front of where I emerged.

Elizabeth. She was such a pretty little thing. Pale skin, blonde hair. Always wearing red lipstick.

"Ilia, nice to see you again!"

"Nice to see you as well, Elizabeth." I politely smiled to her as I continued on, crossing the length of the office and went straight to Tseng's desk. I ran my fingers across the surface slowly before taking a seat in his unoccupied chair. He kept it so tidy and neat. I snickered to myself, looking over to Elizabeth whom followed.

"Do you have the paperwork?"

"Yes ma'am. Tseng already made the revisions and signed off on them himself."

"Tell me Elizabeth… Would you sign these?"

"I would."

She was a pretty girl, even appearing eager to please ditzy, but she was smart and sharp and very opinionated. I knew that by asking her this question, she would either agree to it or let me know how she felt.

"Thank you, Liz." I smiled again, taking the documents from her hand and placing them down on the desk to start working my way through.

This wasn't a will.

I stopped. "…What is this?"

* * *

The ride back home was going to be long. I sat in the backseat staring down at my wedding band. The whole ordeal of what just happened was overwhelming in every aspect. My PHS chimed to notify me of an incoming call and just as I accepted it, Kira's blaring voice echoed through the receiver.

"Ilia! Are you fucking kidding me!?"

I knew immediately what it was in reference to and I was surprised that it took her this long to find the furniture invoice. It wasn't exactly the costs that had her riled up.

"Opium beds?!" She hissed. She was so pissed.

"It's called the Dragon's Den." I flatly responded. _Please don't fight with me right now…_

I could hear her snort in response before she continued on. "Fitting name. When were you planning on telling me this?"

"It was in the works."

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking about our future."

"Our future.. I can't have people associating me with this stuff anymore."

"You don't need to be involved. This will be completely independent from your image."

"I can handle this."

"I didn't say that you couldn't. But don't get so caught up in thinking you have to keep squeaky clean all the time."

"Are you telling me how handle myself?" She laughed into the phone.

"I'm not telling you how to do anything – but if there's one thing I do know, it's how to keep certain things out of the eye of the public."

"So you are telling me how to stay under the radar?"

It was my turn to sigh. She was being impossible.

"Listen, Kira, I'm not trying to fight with you…"

"I gotta go, ok?"

She didn't even wait for me to acknowledge before she hung up and I let out a deep sigh again.

Could the day get any worse? There was still a good forty-five minutes or so left on the drive to the airport. I pinched the bridge of my nose and tilted my head back. Thank gods for having a driver. I didn't know if I could even handle getting myself anywhere right now.

As I sat there slouched, my mind wandered a little and the image of an old distant memory came into focus. Damon Wick. Of all the people to surface at the most inconvenient times, it was him.

Who exactly was this person you ask?

Someone very special indeed…

In the beginning of my marriage, things were bumpy in case you hadn't noticed. Shortly after the ceremony, Tseng disappeared for months at a time and never really talked about what was going on in his side of the world. I think that's the biggest reason why Kira isn't so keen on trusting him. I don't blame her for it – but it's an old grudge she should learn to let go of.

It was a very lonely time for me. I had grown desperate for human contact – I hadn't felt the same kind of abandonment since my father passed years before. In my solitude, I buried myself in my work and my surroundings, becoming anything that they wanted me to be. I networked and tried to sell my image, but something was lacking… I

could feel it at every audition as soon as I was left alone to perform in front of strangers behind a camera. I knew everyone around me could see it too.

And then the most unexpected thing of all happened… While at a photo shoot in Costa del Sol, I met Damon during a break at a nearby bar. He asked me if I liked to drink and handed me a juice box. It was so childishly cute that I couldn't resist. He wore this black taxi cab hat to match his hair that framed the shape of his face. He was deceivingly strong under that lean frame, and could easily be mistaken for a woman with his delicate features. He was definitely beautiful.

What I didn't know at the time was that he was surveying the area for suspicious activities associated with AVALANCHE – something about a home base or possible hideout location at the port. He was a weapons and espionage expert, employed by Shinra to develop their weapons program.

Over the course of just a week, we had gotten close to each other. He would take me out to the evening restaurants and we would dance to music that made no sense in bars that didn't have dance floors, swaying slowly together in our own fantasy. I was forthcoming with revealing that I was married, but it didn't seem to matter in the slightest because he was already in love with someone else who barely knew he existed.

Damon was an amazing lover. The perfect surrogate partner. He fucked like a champion and didn't require any type of emotional bond. There was something about the way that he touched me that jolted my system.

After my assignment, I made several additional trips out to see him in Costa over the course of a couple more months. I'm sure he had more important things to do during his stays, but they were consumed in being with me. We never really got too personal with each other, but just enough to remind ourselves that we were human beings with needs. He did talk a lot about himself, which was different from Tseng.

* * *

I came home from work that day, tossing the apartment keys in the direction of the entry side table. I heard the clank against the surface and noticed Tseng's jacket laying on the armrest of the sofa. _Oh.. he's here._

I proceeded into the kitchen for my usual routine of toasting a slice of bread and heating up some leftover miso soup from the previous night. The memory of my promise haunted me and urged me to confess to him. I had promised him that if he continued down this path of secrecy, then it would be over between us. I get that I knew what I was getting into by accepting the proposal, but there has to be mutual sacrifices in place to make any kind of arrangement work.

_"If you are going to tell him, just remember that there is a fine line between living a life and accepting a life…"_

"Welcome home." Tseng muttered quietly as he came into the kitchen with a towel over his head. He had another towel wrapped around his waist having just come out of the shower. He gave me a peck on the cheek and I continued on, now pulling out a second bowl to serve him as well.

"Miso?"

"Yes, please."

He took the seat at the dining table, continuing to dry his hair. The toaster dinged and I emerged from the kitchen to set our dinner for the evening on the table. I took the seat across from him and we silently ate together. What a dull routine. Just months ago he could barely keep his hands off of me, but now we were like an estranged couple, barely interacting at all anymore. He just came home to sleep and vanish the following day.

I've had enough.

"I'm sleeping with someone."

I heard the sound of his spoon hit the side of his bowl.

"I'm not going to apologize for it either."

"What?"

"Don't act like you didn't hear what I just said."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm trying to process the fact that my wife is _fucking _someone on the side."

I put down my spoon. "Oh, now you want to pretend like it must bother you? Don't act like you had no fucking idea. You're a Turk for crying out loud. There isn't shit that you don't know about me."

That seemed to be the trigger.

"You're my wife. I can keep tabs on you however the hell I please."

"I'm not your goddamn property, Tseng!" Keep tabs on me. The nerve he had to even say that. "Maybe if you acted like you were my husband, I wouldn't need to find comfort in someone else's company!"

Tseng stood up, slamming his hands on the tabletop and causing me to flinch on impact.

"You really want to go down this path?"

"What path would that be? Are you going to hurt me? Tie me up and pry an apology out of me? I told you that day – I told you that if you pulled this shit again that I would be gone!" I was standing now."You can't intimidate me and you aren't going to tell me what the fuck I can and cannot d-"

"Intimidate you? You aren't some prisoner that I'm questioning What the fuck is wrong with you, Ilia?"

"Apparently a whole lot if this is the kind of life that came with the package of.." I waved my hands around in his direction to gesture that I was referencing him. "This _LIE._"

In an instant he rushed around the table, grabbing my wrists. I shoved back at him, pushing him away. "Don't fucking touch me."

His grip tightened in response, yanking me close. "You're my wife. I didn't promise you any kind of package. I told you that I was no good with this-"

"Obviously you aren't." I jerked away my hands, rubbing them in an effort to ease the discomfort of his iron grip. "When was the last time you kissed me like it meant something? Or the last time you came home and made love to me the moment you saw me?"

"….."

"EXACTLY. I'm not some china doll in a collection!" The tears were flowing now. A full-blown waterworks party. Gods, I wanted to pull through until the end being as detached as I could muster.

Where the hell had his fight gone?

He reached out again, pulling me into his arms as I fought to get away. He then turned me around and bent me over the table.

"Does he cup your pussy in his hand and fuck you over the table? Is that what you want from me?" I could almost hear a break in his voice as if he were begging. "Is that how you want me to talk to you so that you can feel like you mean something to me?"

Before my brain could even signal for a reaction, I had already slapped Tseng across the face. Of all the responses that he could have picked from that thick skull of his – that was his go to.

"Go fuck yourself… I'm done."

I grabbed my purse and left. I wasn't going to spend another minute in that apartment with that ungrateful bastard, but as I reached the door to the stairwell beyond our floor, I caved in and collapsed to my knees, feeling my chest tightening as I gasped through my sobs.

I fumbled around with my phone, trying to hold it steady as I dialed. He picked it up, out of breath and sounding startled.

"Hello?"

"Damon.."

"Lily? Are you ok?"

"Yea…I..I left the apartment."

"Aw, babydoll… Hey, listen, why don't you come over and stay with me for a while?"

"I don't even know where you live!"

"Right now I'm in Kalm on an assignment.. But you can stay in the inn with me until I head back to Midgar."

I never exactly revealed _who_ my husband was. Probably the best approach for both of our sakes. Not the type of information that should be divulged to just anyone. Damon listened to me while I complained and cried. He held me gently in his arms, stroking my hair as I sat there with my head to his chest through the night.

What more could you ask for in this situation. A man that showed compassion in time of need and comforted me. I blindly placed my faith in an assumption that there would be something for me after the fall out, and then the reality that the gods were watching over me to make sure that I had a place to fall into. Time seemed to pass by in a blur shortly after that night. Damon took me back to his place in Midgar; a modest little house in Sector 6 where he had grown up. It was a place for me to get back on my feet. I had moved on, or at least I considered it moving on. I submerged myself into my modeling career completely and eventually got my own place back in the upper plates. Living that fake high society life of clubbing and dining. Whirled up in a slew of fashion shows and designer photo shoots. Magazine interviews and guest appearances. Sex, drugs and good times.

Kira and I had grown closer than ever during this time. She was a little older now and we could finally do things together without me feeling like she was a little sister. I hadn't told her anything about my marriage, or who I was involved in, and as vague as it all was, she accepted it. It made me feel guilty about hiding pieces of my life from her… But she was so happy. I didn't want to burden her. She had become involved with this guy named Jae and they were in love and young and powerful together. I didn't want to interrupt it.

Then one day, I was faced with the last circumstance that I wanted to come to terms with. I was heading out on the main sidewalk through the bustling streets of the upper plates, as I do every day for work, and I had an appointment to meet with a new designer, and then lunch with Damon afterwards. I must have been so caught up in my call that I hadn't realized right away _who_ I may have actually passed by on the streets until I stopped moving.

I couldn't bring myself to look back. My hand numbly dropped to my side, the phone falling from my fingertips. I could feel my heart betraying me as it fluttered with butterflies at the thought of _him_ being so close by. Over a year and I hadn't spotted him one time since that night. I knew he did that on purpose. He knew how to hide himself so easily. That heartless, soulless man that I couldn't rid myself of. I think at the time we were just too stupid and too young to know any better. I heard shouting coming from the phone below me and bent down to pick it back up.

"Ilia! Are you ok?!" _Shit._

"Y-yea.. I'm fine. I'm sorry, I dropped my phone…" Jacques was going to kill me. "I'm sorry , Ivanna, can we reschedule the meeting?"

"I suppose we could… Are you sure that you are ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm sorry."

"Next week, Monday. 11AM sharp."

"Understood, thank you."

Instinctively, I rushed back to my apartment. I couldn't understand the urgency that I felt in getting home. I couldn't even bring myself to look back and confirm that it was actually him. I just felt a surge of electricity pass through me when we passed each other. I fumbled around looking for my keys to unlock my door when I felt his familiar hands twirl me around and my body bumped up against the doorframe. Tseng's mouth found mine, completely overtaking me in a passionate kiss. I could hear whispering in the hallway as my passing neighbors noticed our heated embrace. Who knows if they recognized him outside of his typical blue suit or if they had recognized me. All I knew was that Tseng had his tongue down my throat, clawing at my body and I fought with my doorknob to break it open. As it finally gave way and opened under our weight, he picked me up in his arms, pushing the door to shut it behind us with his foot and taking me into the direction of my bedroom. Of course he would know where my bedroom was in a place he had never been..

I could barely make sense of what was happening as I was tossed onto the bed; as he pulled off his shirt and I mindlessly unbuttoned my blouse in response. My body had completely disconnected from all logic and followed visual commands. He pulled me to the edge of the bed, hiking up the hem of my skirt until it bunched up around my waist. He unbuckled his jeans and in a flurry of swift movements he was buried deep inside of me and we rocked away whatever remaining ounce of sense we had left.

After a few repeated sessions, we laid together sprawled out on the bed looking up at the ceiling.

I had no idea what the hell just happened, but my soul felt at ease laying next to Tseng in my bed. It was like the chaotic disaster of our past relationship finally came to a screeching halt.. I had known this man for a little less than 5 years now, and as I lay there completely vulnerable to him, I barely knew anything at all about him still.

When he started talking, all I could do was look at him with a wide eyed stare.

"I'm scared of you. I'm scared of losing you and I'm petrified of opening myself up. The idea of loving someone unconditionally feels like a death sentence. I had been in previous relationships, void of anything deeper than a few nights of hookups and distractions. How can you love something like that? I've never been attached to anything or anyone. My parents died when I was 9, and I was recruited by Shinra shortly after. The perfect age to be conditioned into anything they needed out of me. Shinra apparently is the center of the universe; and my parents worked within their confining walls plugging away in the customer relations center. Shinra isn't known for being shy about taking advantage of prime opportunity…" He sighed as he closed his eyes. I could tell this was a lot for him to confess. Hell, it was a lot to suddenly take in.

"I've done things that I'm not particularly proud of.. but I feel indifferent about it. Completely oblivious to the emotions that should accompany taking another life or making someone surrender their will. For what? A confession? Planted evidence? A clue as to the whereabouts of an anonymous tip that _might_ lead to something?"

I bit my lip, regretting every thought that crossed my mind in my blind fury. Tseng was broken… Under that facade of control, he was vulnerable..

"There was a point where I had almost lost myself completely. If I hadn't met you that day at the cafe – I don't know if I ever would have been able to come back completely. " He turned towards me, laying on his side and stroking his fingers across my collarbone. I looked up at him, touching his face. He buried his cheek in the palm of my hand, inhaling sharply before continuing, "Reno helped to distract me, but it was a losing battle. I love this job, but this job is like a vacuum that just sucks up everything that defines you… He's made for this line of work; he's young and resilient and capable. Completely unprofessional and reckless and stubborn, but he can make it far if he really applies himself." I knew then that Reno was like some last glimmer of hope for him if he hadn't met me that day.

"When you asked me if it was good.." He laughed softly, now laying his head down closer to mine as we stayed there gazing into each other's eyes. "I knew exactly who you were from the moment you walked in the door, and it scared the shit out of me. I knew that I was no good for you; you deserved better. I was panicking underneath my vacant exterior and felt a suffocating urge to distance myself because of it. I was desperate to figure out a way to pull out. I was desperate to figure out how to make you forget about me – but I just couldn't stay away from you…" He pulled me into his arms and held me tightly against him. "I wasn't mad about Damon. I was furious at myself for making you go through that and feeling alone."

"Baka.." I muttered quietly in response.

"You deserved someone that understood you and fulfilled your needs…I couldn't be mad at you. But in my rage, I said things that shouldn't have even crossed my mind. I needed to justify my frustrations in some fashion, even if it meant hurting you..I'm sorry, Ilia.."

He pulled my hand up above us, twisting the wedding band still on my finger. "I didn't expect this to still be here.."

The fact that Tseng finally opened up to me meant that he was finally making the effort that I needed him to make. It wasn't a perfect love story by any means.. but it was ours nonetheless. And giving him another chance meant that maybe we could figure out this crazy life of ours together after all.

* * *

"Ma'am, the airplane is ready."

I shook my head as the driver opened the back door. I needed to get my head in the game more than anything now. I needed to schedule another meeting with Jaun to review the plans for the Den within the next couple of days. Change was underway and thank the gods that those changes happened now instead of later. With the entryway already built on the property, there was still enough time to modify the overall structure and extend the Den's floor plan. The idea was to incorporate the ideas of a multi-courtyard housing design. We would push it out further towards the beach and overlook the ocean from the hillside to create a truly euphoric sensation. I needed him to be capable of taking over the project and steering it in the direction of my vision.

At least I could control this much right now.


	17. what you wanted to feel

_[from the perspective of Kira Ruiz...]_

* * *

Yuffie and I huddled together barefoot on a low-slung sofa, littered with exotic pillows and lit by romantic lanterns. Music drifted in from the next room and the murmur of a successful party hummed around us. I smoked from a cigarette, sipping on a champagne and she gingerly nursed a beer. It was Reeve's birthday party and there were no holds barred. The catering was immaculate, the cake a work of art, the ambience decadent and alluring, the music just at the right volume for socializing… and a separate tent outdoors for the more dance inclined. The turn out was blinding and everyone was dressed stylishly. I even hired photographers to immortalize the event, and I knew there were some paparazzi lingering that weren't invited. Security would do their job of handling them though.

"So. Tell me everything you know about the elusive Vincent Valentine." I grinned. I was nice and toasty and on my way to being warmly drunk.

"Ohhh are you interested in him?!"

"C'mon, Yuffie. He's fuckin' gorgeous. And Reno will be outta town on business for who knows how long – I have a feeling longer than he wants to admit. And it's been a while since I've enjoyed the benefits of my open marriage. Rarely I'm intrigued enough to have an affair, but Vincent measures up quite nicely."

She snorted. "Oh he sure does."

My mouth gaped open. "Oh _really_? Have you _fucked_ him?"

"Oh yea. We were hooking up for a minute. Not long after the whole Deepground thing. Something about losing 'his _demons_' lightened him up. Was _finally_ able to let go and enjoy himself a little. Not that he's Mr. Easy Breezy Beautiful Covergirl now, but he's a _lot_ better than he used to be. And… you can say I had _quite_ a bit to do with that." She winked and gave me a wicked, satisfactory grin.

"Mmm nice, girl," we clinked glasses. "So what happened? Why didn't it last?"

"Well, the whole thing just turned out to be a schoolgirl crush. He was so dark and mysterious, I mean, I couldn't help myself. The man _oozes_ sex appeal! But… in the end, we were just too different and I found myself _really_ bored. And honestly, I think_ I_ was annoying him too. We're better off as friends."

"Ah. I see. So it won't bother you if I go after him?"

"No, it's ancient history. It was just something I needed to get outta my system. Even though he's not all depress-o anymore, I realized he's… just not my type. I need someone out-going, like… ready to get out and have a good time, party! Crack a joke, act silly, ya know? Vincent is _so serious_."

"Mmm. I hear ya. There's something so sexy about a guy that's always acting up. It's what I love about Reno so much."

"Yea, but Reno's a cretin," she teased.

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Reno is… a lot to handle. He's not everyone's cup of tea. But… there's no one better for me."

Yuffie made a gagging face and burst into a fit of giggles. I casually slapped her arm and laughed with her.

"I'm kidding!" she smiled. "Reno's great, but he drives me nuts. I commend you for having nerves of steel."

I brushed off my shoulders with joking finesse. "Pretty proud to say I'm the only one who can really handle that bastard."

"That's for sure." She took another sip of her beer and I watched her eyes roam to the ceiling in thought. With a stupid grin she said, "You know who I got my eye on? That brother of yours. He's _hot_."

"Ohhhh what? You think Reno is a bastard? Jiro is way worse."

"He seems so sweet!"

"He is sweet! He's also self-centered, stubborn as a bull, and an adrenaline junkie with no thought of consequences."

"Oh _that_ doesn't sound familiar," she smirked. "You do know that you married someone _just_ like you're brother?"

"They're more different than they seem… they just… well… heh. Yea, I guess they're quite alike." I laughed. "But trust me when I say that Reno's got his shit way more together than Jiro does. It's _always_ been that way. Reno may look like a chaotic mess on the outside, but that boy can take care of a business. Jiro… no. He's a train wreck. Now he says he's changed, but it hasn't been long enough for me to see if that's really the case."

"Well, maybe he needs _my_ good influence to make sure he stays on track." Yuffie flashed her teeth and her eyes glimmered with suggestion.

"Heh. Be my guest, but don't be surprised if he frustrates you to no end."

"I can handle him, no prob. You'll see."

We each took a long draft from our drinks, eyeing the room for a moment. The party was going strong, a fine mix of people from all walks of life – I was a collector of the eclectic. I was quite pleased with myself.

"Anyway," I turned to Yuffie. "Any other juicy details I should know about Vincent?"

"Hmm. I dunno. Like I said, he's kinda boring. To me at least. But… I guess that's not entirely true. If you like guns and red wine and stories about his _tortured life_, he can be a pretty interesting guy. It's just… don't expect a night out on the town or a concert or anything. He doesn't know _anything_ about modern music; he doesn't like to dance. And he is _so awkward_ at restaurants or social events. Ugh! _So_ annoying."

"Well, I'm not interested in any of that. I got plenty of it on my own. I'm talking about sex, pure and simple."

"Well if that's all you're looking for, you will _not_ be disappointed."

"Alright then," I gave a devilish grin. "It's settled. I, Kira Ruiz, am gonna seduce the _infamous_ Vincent Valentine." I held out my glass and we drank to that.

"Get it girl. Tonight?"

"Nah, no rush. From what it sounds like, this isn't the right environment. I'll wait for a more intimate moment. He's been lurking around the house, so there'll be plenty of opportunities once Reeve leaves town."

"Wait though… isn't Reno gonna get pissed? I know you guys have a special arrangement an' all, but I remember you got _really_ angry when you found out about Tifa. Isn't this kinda the same thing?"

"Hmm. You're right. It is. Darn," I deadpanned, raising an eyebrow.

"Hah! Pay back eh?"

"Conveniently enjoyable payback, yes. Eye for an eye, baby. That's how Reno and I roll."

"It's kinda sadistic."

I shrugged. "It suits us. He'll get over it, just like I got over Tifa."

"Well," Yuffie stood with a stretch, slipping on her high heels. "Cheers to you girl. Enjoy the ride, keep me updated. I'm gonna mingle, find that hot brother of yours."

"Heh. Enjoy _your_ ride, and keep _me_ updated. I'm sure you'll be able to find Jiro no problem, he's usually the one with a _barrage_ of girls surrounding him, hanging on his every word. He's a _real_ charmer."

"I'm sure I'll have _no_ problem scaring them away."

* * *

Reeve was drunk. I couldn't believe it. Reeve Tuesti. Drunk as a skunk. Well, my mission was accomplished. He was having a great birthday.

A large gathering lingered around the cake, singing happy birthday. One of Rafael's most beautiful girls had been hanging over Reeve all night, and she was the one cutting the cake. She shoved a little in his face at the end of the song then kissed him. A roar of hoots erupted through the crowd. Flashes went off in every direction. Yes, Reeve was definitely having a good night by the dazed look on his face.

The music started up again and the congregation thinned, some helping themselves to cake. Others back to dancing and conversing. I caught Reeve kissing the pretty girl he was with as she dragged him outside towards the pool. I knew what she had planned, and for a moment I missed Reno and our late night dips.

"Hi!" Rafael popped up next to me.

"Oh hey. Enjoying the party?"

"It's great! You throw the best parties, Kira!" He gushed and hugged me. It was clear we were all a bit tipsy tonight.

"Oh, thanks Rafael," I beamed. "Glad you're having a good time. Say… did you ask that girl to hang with Reeve the whole night?"

"Who, Ling? No. She did that all on her own. My girls are off the clock tonight, honey. And I don't encourage them to work private parties like this, too many risks involved. You _know_ that, Kira!"

"Yea, yea. I know. I'm just so used to this business abiding by slum rules. Which are pretty much no rules. Heh. But, I'm glad that Reeve is having a good time. Makes me happy to see him cutting loose for a change."

"Yea. I'm sure he's grateful you threw him this party. Looks like he needed it."

"I'm sure you needed it too. Been all work an' no play for you lately."

"Ugh, I _know_! I did need it. Thanks, girl!" He gave me another hug, squeezing me tight. "Ok, I'm gonna go dance some more, wanna join?"

"No, I'm good for now. Gonna try an' find my brother, see if he wants to smoke a joint."

* * *

"What up."

"Oh what up." It was Nami and not Jiro I ran into. On the rooftop deck overlooking the city and Wutain landscape. He had already rolled a joint, enjoying some downtime to himself. Nami's birthday had just passed but he had not wanted a big party and considered he was secretly sharing it with Reeve anyhow. We had an intimate dinner with only close friends, followed by a night of dancing at a popular venue not far from the Biggs. A lot of big acts were starting to tour to Tian Tan, and one of Nami's faves was in town on his birthday. We all dropped that night and had a nice little lovey-dovey roll sesh.

"Feeling tired. It's been a good party, but I'm not in the mood anymore. Kinda just wanna crash."

"Me too, girl. Ya miss Reno?"

"Ugh. _So_ much."

"But you got that eye on Vincent, hm?" Nami teased me. I hadn't even talked to him about that yet. This boy knew me too well.

"Oh you know it. Might as well have a distraction. Reno'll be gone for a while, I'm sure of it…"

"You got _plenty_ of distractions."

Nami was referring to an upcoming trip. Construction had begun on the La Faunz group's tower – Tian Tan's first true skyscraper. La Faunz was a fashion industry giant: modeling agency, several clothing lines ranging from high to low end markets, manufacturing, advertising. Tian Tan was to be their new corporate headquarters, and they expressed interest in producing out of smaller farming towns in Southern Wutai. I had the idea to expand the capabilities of the South to incorporate crops for natural fibers and dyes. It was a huge undertaking. Supporting such an epic market could be devastating to the land if not handled properly. So, I was traveling South with Steven Lowe, the ecologist, a few permaculture specialists, and realtor planners for La Faunz. We were to survey the countryside and plan an infrastructure. The local governments were eager to meet and claim their stake of the growing Wutain wealth.

"Yea, and I'm glad to have 'em. Everyone else seems to be slowing down for the holidays, so I'll have some time to focus on more personal projects. The power plant is practically running itself these days too, they don't really need me. Which I been meaning to talk to you about, if you're interesting in taking over as CEO of ReKi power?"

"Um." Nami was quiet. "I've been… wanting to talk to you about… a few things changing with… me."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I'm not sure… I want to be your lead accountant anymore. And I def don't see myself as a CEO." He sighed. "I really only got into that business stuff because I wanted a future for myself with Shinra. But now that I'm older and know myself better, it really just doesn't suit me."

"Oh. Ok. But… you're so _good_ at it… I count on you."

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just… not me anymore."

"Ok… I get it. I'll figure something out. I mean… I should be giving that promotion to Josephine really, since she's practically managing ReKi without me."

"Exactly. She deserves it and she wants it."

"I know, I've just always put my friends first. And now that I know how you feel, well it's settled. But, what're you gonna do next?"

"I… was thinking to study materia. I want to become a master user."

"Wow. That takes a _lot_ of work and training. And it's kinda specialized, not much of a market for it." I bit my lip in thought. I was always down to help my friends, but only if I knew it was towards something sustainable. Materia user? Sounded amazing, but the world was a changing place. Bounty hunters and vagabond mercenaries were a little less common than they were a few years ago. All the beasts that roamed from Mako exposure were surely dwindling.

I had a sudden idea. "You should talk to Yuffie and Godo. This might be something they'd be interested in."

"Yea?"

"Oh yea. Yuffie loves materia and she's brilliant with it. And you _do_ have a natural ability. I'm sure you could work something out with them."

Nami's face lit up with his trademark childlike smile. "Ooooh! I'd like that. I'll talk to her."

"I'm sure you can figure out some sort of something," I smiled back. "By the way, have you seen my brother?"

"Ooooohh girl, I saw him leave with Yuffie."

"Leave?"

"Yea, they went off into the woods." He pointed towards the North of the property that was overgrown with towering redwoods.

"Huh. That was fast."

"You know something? Was wondering what was going on with _that_."

"Apparently Yuffie's got a crush on Jiro. And apparently Yuffie works fast."

Nami laughed. "Damn. Late night forest rendezvous."

"Right? Sounds sexy." I grabbed the joint from his hand and took a hit. "Well, if my brother is indisposed, I think I'm gonna head off to bed. Party seems to be dying down. Security'll be kicking out the hangers-on soon, so I'll just disappear."

"G'night girl."

* * *

I was thankful for my estate at this moment. It was much like an _hacienda_ with several small houses for guests and entertaining, and one large principal house – which is where Ilia and I lived. This way, the party never had to come into our true home.

I meandered through the halls, tracing the walls with my fingernails, lingering past Ilia's room. Her bedroom door was cracked open just a bit, I could hear the murmur of her voice and see the glow of dim orange light. I knocked lightly on the door and she pressed me to enter.

"Hi."

"Hello, dear." She held her hand to the phone receiver and whispered to me, then turning her attention back to the person on the other end. "Kira is here, I should let you go. It's late anyway. Ok. I know. Yes. I love you, too." She hung up and turned her composed expression to me.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you."

She sighed with a gentle smile. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the den sooner."

"Yea. Definitely woulda been good to know." I sat down at the foot of her bed. "But whatever, I know now. And you're right… I don't need to be involved. I have to withdraw my support, financial and otherwise. This is completely you're project, separate from me. Please, I know I don't have to tell _you_ of all people this, but keep it under wraps, Ilia."

"You needn't worry," she reassured me. "It'll be discreet. To the outside world it's merely an art gallery and lounge."

"I know I can trust you. Honestly, I'm a little jealous. I want nothing more than to be part of that world again… but it's not my lot in life any longer. I commend you for having the ovaries to bring that world to Tian Tan."

She laughed. "Oh Kira, it's nice to know there are things about you that'll never change." She held out her arms and I snuggled up to her. She pet my hair and I felt myself relax. I hated fighting with her.

"So, how's everything with you and Tseng?"

"We're lovely. But he won't be visiting any time soon. He's directing Reno's mission remotely from Midgar and doesn't want to risk anyone tracing a connection back to Tian Tan. Should anything go wrong. Gods forbid anything does go wrong."

"Mmm. So we're more or less in the same boat."

"Seems so. Though I'd say you have the shorter end of the stick."

I let out a tired exhale. "I'll be fine. We've been through far worse."

"My poor Kira. I know you always have a game face on. You must be exhausted."

"I'm used to it. But it feels good to be here with you. You're the only one to really understand how I feel."

"You know I'm always here for you, my love."

"Ilia… do me a favor please? One last request about the den and then I'm keeping my hands outta it."

"What's that?"

"Let Jiro work for you. Find something for him to do."

"Hmm. Jiro in an opium den? That sounds like a horrifying idea… are you sure?"

"I know he's not the ideal candidate. But just give it a try? I need to test him… a big test. Let him prove himself. He's not a fuckin' kid anymore and he needs to take his life seriously. He _needs_ that rush the underworld gives. He craves it. And maybe this time he can actually handle it. I have to have a little faith in him… And also I could live a little vicariously through my brother."

She giggled. "Ok. I'll give him a chance."

"Thank you, Ilia." I kissed her cheek and slid off the bed. "I'm gonna sleep. Breakfast tomorrow?"

"I'd love to, but I have a meeting with Juan. Dinner?"

"Yes. Let's stay in and cook something?"

"That sounds lovely."

* * *

A week passed and the house was quiet. Reeve had left the day after his party, back to work. Ilia was preoccupied with plans for the den, and also seemed like she had something else weighing on her mind. Maybe to do with Tseng. Either way, she had chosen not to discuss it with me yet. I was too busy prepping for my trip and dealing with business, so it was no bother to me.

I wondered what Vincent had been up to, skulking around the property I'm sure. We would have a few words in passing on occasion, or he'd catch me at the end of dinner. Other than that he was like a ghost roaming my home. Got the feeling he was somewhat avoiding me.

I rolled outta bed early on Sunday morning and stumbled into the kitchen to make tea and toast. There was some leftover smoked salmon that'd be delicious too. I could make little sandwiches to go with my tea… Mmm why was food the first thought in my head when I opened my eyes?

I filled the kettle with water and spun around to turn on the stove, when suddenly there stood Vincent on the other side of the kitchen island facing me. A short, shrill little scream left my mouth followed by my laughter.

"Ooooh man, you scared the _fuck_ outta me!"

"Sorry, I did not mean to sneak up on you. Are you making tea?"

"Yea, you want some?"

"Please."

"I can make you some toast too. And there's smoked salmon."

"Sure. Thank you."

He sat down on a barstool across from me. I put the kettle onto boil and placed a few slices of bread in the toaster, then took salmon, avocado, and a cucumber out of the fridge, silently going about preparing breakfast.

"Do you usually laugh after being startled?"

"Hmm yea. My adrenaline gets going and then I just think it's so ridiculous that I screamed, I start laughing."

The corner of his mouth turned up in what I perceived as an amused smirk. It was so different from any response Reno would've had. If Reno were here he'd be laughing right along with me and doing everything in his power to distract me from cooking. Vincent sat still and calm as he observed me.

The water began to boil and I filled a teapot with the steaming liquid to brew the _genmai-cha_. I laid out the spread for Vincent and I at the bar and joined him.

We ate in silence for quite a while. In our proximity I could smell him, feel his body heat. It was intoxicating. Clean with the faint scent of sandalwood. The aura radiating off of him was intense. He felt so solid, grounded and relaxed. The presence of a lone wolf that was aware of everything around him, and also aware that he was usually the deadliest creature in the room. I felt flushed, my heart fluttering along in a wavering, elated beat.

"Are you enjoying Wutai?" I asked.

"It's beautiful. As is your land. I quite like the gardens."

"Thank you, I designed them myself."

"You have a good eye."

"Thanks."

More silence. He was so proper and contained. I hadn't experienced a man like this, not one that I was attracted to. I found myself wanting to rouse him a bit. Get him to drop that wall of steel.

"I'm leaving for Southern Wutai tomorrow."

"Yes, I am aware. I'll be accompanying you, of course."

"Vincent, how do you feel about being assigned as my bodyguard?"

"I'm honored. Reeve speaks very highly of you, and I respect what you are doing."

"Tch. You saved the world, _three times,_ Vincent. Now you're here guarding a wealthy oil tycoon who used to be a fuckin' drug lord. That doesn't bother you?"

He shrugged. "Not at all. I used to be a Turk. And I've harbored psychotic demons in my body. I'm not one to judge, or care. And for the record, I rather not have to save the world. I rather it be peaceful. And no matter where you've come from, I can see in your eyes that you want the same."

It was the most he had ever said to me at once. I was slightly taken aback by how direct and kind he could be. I smiled. "Well then. Let's hope our time together is peaceful and… pleasurable." With that last word I didn't try to hide my feelings. I was being intentionally flirtatious. I finished the last bite of my breakfast and stood. "I'm gonna have a swim in a bit, would you like to join me?"

There was a pause as he looked at me. Behind his gaze was something purposeful, and for a brief moment he seemed to be turning something around in his mind. Then suddenly it was as if his mouth answered before his brain had really come to a conclusion. "Yes. I would."

I was a little surprised with his response. I was expecting something a bit more reserved and polite, aloof almost. But the tone in his voice and how he looked me in the eye told me he knew what direction this was going and he was one hundred percent ok with that.

"Alright. I'll be out in bout half an hour." I picked up my plate but his hand brushed mine in protest. A surge of heat fled through my blood. Just a mere touch and the pressure of him felt so strong I could imagine what it would be like with his weight against mine.

"Leave it. I'll clean up."

* * *

I changed into a bathing suit and slipped on a large chunky sweater. I grabbed a magazine, my sunglasses, and a couple of towels before exiting through the sliding shoji doors of my bedroom into the courtyard where the pool awaited, steam billowing from its surface.

The weather out was a bit crisp, but the sunshine was bright enough to give some pleasant warmth. Vincent was nowhere in sight, and I wondered again how he busied himself when I was preoccupied. I couldn't imagine that the gardens would be enough to keep him entertained. But maybe so, I had much to learn about this man.

I flipped through my magazine – all about fashion, music, art, culture. These were the kinds of things I lived for. I rarely had time to sit and read, and when I did it was all to excite my senses. I had enough concentrating, I was pleased to be absorbed in beautiful fantasy. Before I knew it, I was drifting off when I felt a presence sit in the lounge chair next to mine.

"Oh, hi." I stirred and stretched.

"Hello."

I looked over and there he was laid out before me. Black swim trunks and a sweater he left buttoned open. He was fit – no, he was _ripped_. Even more muscular than Reno, and Reno was absolutely nothing to scoff at. He was still lithe though, I was never one for overly bulky men. His skin was pale, more so than Reno's, who admittedly liked to tan on occasion. Behind my sunglasses I was able to take in the view covertly.

There was a long moment of silence between us, nothing but the sound of the pool waterfall and leaves rustling in an eerie breeze. I could tell that Vincent and I may not have much in common to talk about. He was a man of few words, and unless I was close with someone or the setting required it, I was the same way. But I was happy for the quietude, it wasn't uncomfortable. And conversation isn't exactly what I was interested in. There was plenty a man and a woman could say to each other without words at all.

I reached for a remote on the table next to me and switched on some music. Chill tribal drums, heavy bass, jazzy piano and minimal, echoing vocals. Perfect for a swim. I stood and pulled off my sweater, tossed my sunglasses off and made my way down the steps of the pool. The warmth of the water felt enticing.

Turning to him, I motioned for him to follow. Again he surprised me by not pausing to protest in the slightest. He stood. I noticed without fail how his muscles twitched when he moved, pulling off the sweater. He descended the steps and before he could catch up to me I dove under the water, swimming to the other end of the pool in one breath. Gasping for air, I dove under again. I could see his legs which I swam around, caressing them with my hands as I climbed up his body to resurface.

"You're quite the mermaid." There was a slight upturn at the corner of his mouth. I was growing to like his faint amused smirk. And it felt so natural the way his arms had encircled me, holding me to him as if he were trying to prevent my escape.

"So I've been told." I maneuvered out of his grasp and took his hand in mine. "C'mon." I pulled him with me and together we went under.

We sunk below, I situated myself on top of him to push us further down. I ran my fingers over his torso and through his hair. I wound myself around him, brushing against his neck, twisting myself beneath, coming up on the other side. We swam like this together to the edge of the pool until I pulled us both back up for air.

We were breathing heavy now.

"Are you trying to seduce me, Kira?" He said this as his hands were like a vice grip on my hips, pulling me closer to him.

"Of course I am. And I'd say it's working." I grinned and wrapped my arms around his neck, grinding myself against him without an ounce of shame. He responded immediately and I could feel he was hard. I giggled. That was fast.

"You're married. To someone I work with on occasion."

"Reno and I have an open marriage. It's been a while since I've taken advantage of that… but I can't help myself with you." I spread feather kisses over his neck and jaw, making a not so subtle writhing motion against him. I could feel his heart pounding as he made little moans of approval.

With an almost violent force he took my mouth in his. I nearly yelped. It was rough and hungry at first, but then slow and sensual and probing. He had me pinned against him so tightly I couldn't move and something about that made me hot.

He pulled away and looked down at me with longing, petting my hair back away from my face. He still held me to him so fiercely that my toes barely touched the bottom of the pool. "I want you, Kira. Since I first saw you. It startled me how much so. The more I observed you, the more I imagined fucking you. But I told myself to stay away – you're married to a colleague. We shouldn't be doing this."

"Vincent, listen to me. I make my own decisions about who I take as a lover. I told you Reno and I have an open marriage. He disappears for months at a time, and this is the arrangement we've made. Reno doesn't hesitate to sleep with his colleagues, so neither will I."

"Do I sense revenge?"

"Heh. Revenge is just a nice added little bonus. I'm doing this because I want you."

That seemed to seal the deal. He kissed me again and we were a tangle of limbs. Lifting me, I wrapped my legs around him, his fingers gripping my ass and pushing me against him. We fought for air between heated kisses and I felt my mind slip away as he ripped off my bikini top and his mouth engulfed my nipples, one then the other, taking his sweet time as he did so. The sucking sensation turned me to liquid and I let out a loud cry of pleasure.

I arched my back, pulled at his hair, squeezed him harder between my legs. He responded with fervor, finishing off undressing me before tugging off his own bit of clothing. I slid down his body and could feel every inch of him unrestrained now. I was quick to grab hold and direct him towards where I needed him most but he stopped me.

"I want to feel you," he said, pinning my hands behind my back. "Not in the water. I don't want to feel its wetness… I want to feel yours."

All I could do was nod in response and let out a whimper of agreement. Before I knew it, I was lifted out of the pool, cradled in his arms, and he was carrying me towards the lounge chairs. He set me down and grabbed a towel, wrapping us both inside as he dried us. He kissed and sucked and bit and teased. I was jelly by now, submitting myself to his strength as he toyed with me like some kind of erotic rag doll. Just the right mixture of rough and gentle.

He laid out on one of the chairs, pulling me on top of him. Agonizingly slow he guided himself into me and we both exhaled in release. For a moment we were still, savoring the feeling of now being joined as one. Then a rhythm swam through us, and it was as if we'd been dancing like this forever. I wasn't expecting it, but we stared intently into each other's eyes through the whole ride until we both came in a rush of poetic frenzy, collapsing into a pile of beautiful, satisfied flesh.

After a while of lying together, absently stroking and petting, the coolness of the autumn air became obvious again.

"You're shivering," he said, reaching below the chair to grab a towel and drape it over us.

"Yea. I'm cold."

"Let's go in?"

"I'll make us something to drink."

* * *

We cozied up by a fire in the main living room, enjoying hot sake. I had given him one of my kimonos to wear – simple, long black silk. I have to say he looked great in it. Under we were both nude, enjoying the laziness of a Sunday with nothing to do.

"You know, it's nice to have you around as my bodyguard," I said. "But I don't really need one. There are ninjas all over this property, courtesy of Lord Godo."

"I know."

"You do? Guess they're not doing their job very well then…"

He chuckled. "They are. I'm just doing mine better."

"Oh, you are definitely doing an _amazing_ job."

We kissed and I found myself straddling him for the second time today. His lust and urgency told me stories of a man with a great appetite that had been suppressed for quite sometime. I wondered just what Yuffie's experience had been like with him.

It was at that time that Ilia crossed through the room on the way to the Western wing.

"Oh my," she said, her voice laced with shock and amusement.

"Hi, Ilia." My tone and expression dripping with smug, playful satisfaction. Vincent, meanwhile, seemed to be blushing almost.

"Enjoying some fun Sunday… activities, are we?" She winked.

"Yes, we are. What are you doing later?"

"I have the rest of the day free, did you have something in mind?"

"I have an appointment in a couple of hours with Marguerite. I had her pull some things from the new fall collections in your size as well, if you're interested."

"Oh! I haven't seen Marguerite in a while, sounds fun. I'm going to shower and unwind a bit, I'll see you then. Your room?"

"Yes."

Ilia left in a good mood and my attention was back to my new lover. He still looked a little sheepish, withdrawing back into his usual quiet self.

"You ok?"

"Yes. Just suddenly aware of my state of undress."

"Heh. Ilia is my closest and oldest friend, don't feel shy. No one in my home is going to gossip or judge us."

"Ok." He gave me a smile and gentle kiss. "It's not only that… I was hoping for another go-round…"

"So was I."

"Maybe a little more privacy, then?"

"Sure. Let's go to your room."

I had never taken another man to my personal bed other than Reno, and I intended to keep it that way. We may have an open minded relationship, but it didn't feel right having anyone other than my husband share my intimate space. I tried to lead Vincent by the hand, but he had ideas of his own. Once again I was swept in his arms, and effortlessly carried off to his chambers.

* * *

It was a four hour flight to the South and we were up early for it. Our itinerary was all planned out. We had lunch today with Mei Li, the local Lady of Nan Dao, the largest city in the territory and coincidently where my mother was from. Then a brief tour of the area followed by a welcoming banquet, the usual Wutain custom of starting any professional undertaking with a lavish meal. It wouldn't be until the next days that we'd begin surveying the lands and traveling through the other cities. Overall we'd be gone for nearly two weeks, returning just in time for a grand Samhain party at the Biggs. A costume ball – the online invite had an absurd number of confirmed guests and I was pretty pumped to come and party my brains out after such an arduous trip.

Ilia saw Vincent and I off at the airstrip. Vincent was acting very stand offish, his usual reserved self in public, something I was fine with. There was a lot on my mind and I wasn't really into public displays of affection unless it was Reno. There was no need to let the world know of the status of mine and Vincent's relationship.

Vincent sat quietly and read a book while I worked on my laptop and made a few phone calls from the plane. It was a very normal day for us both, and from the outside no one would ever guess we had had marathon sex the day before.

* * *

The scene was chaotic and I felt like I stood out very starkly in my white sateen suit and sharp, pointed toe shoes. Nan Dao had many water ways filled with boats – vendors and otherwise. We floated through the canals, Mei Li proud to show off the 'street food' of her province. All day long had been a journey through the city via its breathtaking vintage architecture, gardens, and mouthwatering local delicacies. The food especially made me feel at home, as many of the dishes were things my mother prepared when I was a child.

Mei Li and I conversed mainly in South Wutain, which I could tell made Steven Lowe and our associates a little annoyed as I was not always consistent at playing translator. But Mei Li, even though knowing the basic usage of the common speech, was far more comfortable conversing in her own tongue. I know she had more respect for me personally as well, being able to speak her language.

That night at the feast Vincent automatically chose his seat by me. It was a rowdy event, not what one would think accompanied a business meeting, but I was accustomed to that scene. For the first time in the day, Vincent and I were able to have a moment to ourselves amidst the roar of the lavish dining hall.

"You speak South Wutain."

"I speak four languages – South and North Wutain, Solian, and the common tongue."

"Sexy," he whispered in my ear, tracing his fingers along my lower back. The tenor of his voice and his touch gave me chills.

Late that night, far after we had all been shown to our quarters I heard a knock. I was still awake, being the night owl that I was. I opened the door to find Vincent.

"Vincent? What are you doing here? We should be more careful."

"I must have you," he said as he pushed himself into my room, urgently shutting the door behind him.

He thrust me onto the bed and I quickly shed any reservations I had, enjoying the beginnings of my sex driven affair. Much later I remember his kiss upon my forehead as I dozed, and he snuck away back to his room.

* * *

The rest of our stay in the South was quite stunning. Days filled with gorgeous landscapes and nights with my enigmatic lover. The countryside was lush with rolling hills and thick swamps, much different than the overgrown, jagged cliffs of the North. The locals were warm, open people who curiously invited our stay. This was prime land for farming, and the planning went harmoniously. Everyone so excited for the attention the South was receiving and how they were to join the modern world.

The permaculture agriculturalists were a group of gritty nature nerds and I loved them for it. They were eager to jump at the chance of stationing in the area and oversee development. They wanted nothing more than a hands on experience as they molded the land into something even more abundant than it already was. I envisioned a winter home here for Reno and I, a treehouse amongst the rice fields. It was much warmer here than the North.

Mei Li and I discussed the idea to connect the South to the North via bullet train that was already under construction in Tian Tan. She was eager to bring more technology from the city to her homeland, but we both were concerned about the area losing some of it's remote charm. We agreed upon the train only stopping in Nan Dao, which was the furthest North city of all the Southern provinces.

* * *

On our final day, Mei asked me to join her for a private tea. I was a little hungover from the previous night – dancing at one of the best clubs in Nan Dao. There was quite an underground scene here, and the music was their own special mash up of grime, ballroom and dancehall bangers. It had been a sweaty night, one which I had had to myself. Vincent wasn't much for the club atmosphere. In my solo mission I had met a lot of the youth. They embraced me immediately, and the best part is no one knew who I was. I loved to make new friends in the party world, and I loved their unique sense of style which blended aspects of their own culture with the modern fashions.

Despite my current state, I couldn't turn the Lady of the South down. So I downed some water and had a refreshing shower. It was an outdoor shower which was the most amazing feeling ever – the sound of the forest surrounding me, little bird flitting about, the warm breeze against my skin. My estate needed one of these.

Mei expressed interest in us spending time alone, but Vincent was my ever present shadow, wandering about the gardens where we took our tea. She shrugged, joking that my bodyguard couldn't understand us anyways.

"Kira, now that we've taken care of all the formalities, we can relax," she said with a faint smile as she poured tea. Mei was beautiful and regal – the way she held back the long, ornate sleeves of her clothing as she cradled the pot with both hands, lifting her ring and pinky fingers, extending her absurdly long nails. I admired her and dreamt of aging as gracefully as she. At twenty years my senior, she did not show it. Smooth, creamy skin, grey eyes like mine that always seemed to be looking at the world through a dreamy, knowing haze. "Tell me, why did your mother give you a Northern name?"

"Oh, her mother was from the North. It's my grandmother's name."

Her presence put me in more of a relaxed state than I normally allowed myself to be while on business, like I was talking to an old friend. But there was something about the South in general that felt like home, as if I was embracing a favorite relative I hadn't seen in a long time.

"Your mother must've been a great beauty."

"She was, thank you." I bowed and accepted the compliment, along with the cup of tea she handed to me.

We sipped the hot liquid in silence for a while, enjoying the breeze that blew through the gazebo, sending an enchanting sound through the bamboo and wind chimes.

"In two days time the veil between the worlds will be thin, and the souls will be out. It is good for fortune telling," Mei Li said with a mysterious look. "Have you had yours read before?"

"It's been a long time. I went with my mother when I was 20."

"Was it accurate?"

"It was. I didn't want to believe it, but everything she said came to pass. Unfortunately."

"Mmm. Sometimes it is better we do not know. Especially if the fortune is unpleasant."

"Very true. Why do you ask?"

"I read fortunes."

"I see. Are you offering?" Despite my history with the subject, I couldn't help but be curious.

She smiled. "If it pleases you, I would be happy to do so. Last night I dreamt of you. Something tells me the otherworld has a message."

A tingle rippled through my body, goosebumps raising along my arms. "What was the dream about?"

"Your mother, Zhi. And your father, Vicente. And you – as a child of maybe five or six."

"…How did you know my parents' names?" My voice was hushed. I was completely spooked.

"Why… they told me," she said this as if it was the most natural thing. "You were crying, something you lost. A small owl sculpture you loved as a child."

I was dead silent. The hair along my arms raised. The owl ornament had been a real thing – a cherished childhood toy. I had lost it when I was six and I cried for a week.

"I tried to comfort you, but nothing could quell your sadness. Then I saw your parents in the distance, standing right here in this gazebo. They walked over to us and your mother tilted your face to look at her. Your tears quieted and she placed the owl into your mouth. Each of your parents embraced and kissed you and faded away. You swallowed the owl and transformed into you as you are now. There was now a real owl sitting upon your shoulder, a snake wrapped around your arm. You looked me in the eye and said to me, 'It won't be long now, only another 500 years or so.'"

Chills ran through my body, I was experiencing deja vu. It frightened me. Why was what she was telling me so familiar?

The leaves rustled in the warm breeze and that was the only sound that filled the air. "What's it mean," I tried to conceal my gulp.

"Well, only you know that, Kira."

Mei abruptly stood. "If you excuse me my dear, I remembered I have a previous appointment. I know your plane is leaving very soon anyhow, and I'm sure you need to prepare for the journey."

"…Yes." She hadn't really told my fortune, but I was grateful she stopped where she did. "Thank you, Lady Mei Li. This has been… a true honor. Thank you. Thank you." I bowed with a gracious smile. She pulled me up by my shoulders and embraced me.

"Do not be a stranger, Kira. You and your loved ones are welcome here at the palace anytime."

With a humble smile I bowed again as she left me. I watched her elegant walk as she glided away.

* * *

Later on the plane.

"…Are you ok, Kira?" Vincent asked from across the aisle.

"… I rather not talk about it."

There were no more questions and when we arrived back at the estate that evening, Vincent retired to his room with a chaste kiss upon my lips. I embraced him with gratitude, and his stance spoke of someone who understood the need to sulk in solitude.

* * *

_Dear Reno,_

_I know I can't send you this letter, but I just need to talk to you…_

_I met the lady of the South. Wish you'd been there with me… I always wish we were together doing business again… or fucking in the humid Southern jungle in an _**_outdoor shower_**_, ya know? Heh. ^_~_

_But any who – she told me the most eerie story about myself… my past… my future… in a dream she had. And even though I don't know exactly what it means, somewhere inside of me knows what it means. Ugh. I'll give more detail when I see ya. _

_I wish you were here… to make love to me and hold me at the end of these arduous days. I bet you have arduous days of your own, and I want nothing more than to comfort you from those. Like we always have. Right now I hold back tears, waiting for your arms to release._

_Yours forever,_

_Kira_

I couldn't believe how cheesy I could be sometimes. I kept a journal of writings to Reno when we were away from each other, something about it helped me feel like he was around to listen to me. Few and far between were our intimate moments these days, and I craved them.

There was a knock on my door.

"Come in."

"Hey." It was Jiro, all sleepy in his silly striped pjs. "I heard ya get home a while ago. Couldn't fall back asleep."

"Oh. Sorry, babes."

"Nah, 's cool. Ya ok?"

"…Not really."

"What's up?"

"Lady Li read my fortune." It was at that moment I reverted back to my Southern mother tongue. There was a crack in my voice.

Jiro responded in our familial language without fail. "Oh… not pleasant?"

"I dunno what… but it hit something, ya know?"

Jiro crawled into bed next to me and I hugged him, letting the tears streak down my cheeks. "I miss Mom and Dad."

He let out a sad sigh. "Me too." He pet my hair as I shook in his arms. "What 'appened?"

"Remember Hebi?"

"Oh yea! Your lil' owl?"

"Yea. Mei Li dreamt about me as a little girl, and Mom and Dad finding Hebi, putting her in my mouth. And then I ate her and changed into myself now, but with a snake and owl on my shoulder. Talking about 500 years from now being different…"

Jiro tightened his muscles and gulped, squeezing me closer. "I remember… ya talkin' bout that. Always bout 500 years in the future things'd be different. Goin' on bout faeries an' Cetra an' the Lifestream. It used to freak Dad out, but Mom was always comfortin' ya. An' tellin' ya stories from Wutai. She would tell Dad you were special."

I sobbed harder. Intense. I rarely sobbed like this, but my emotions had been so on the surface this past year. It was as if a river released upon a dam collapsing. Deep, sorrowful sobs, longing for something I didn't quite understand. But something inside of me had awakened that hadn't been acknowledged in years.

"I wanna go home… I wanna go home…" Was all I could chant.

But I wasn't sure what home was. And I prayed for Reno's safe return.


	18. something in my heart

[from the perspective of Ilia Rovnovsky...]

* * *

It was a late, calm evening. The crowd had already dissipated from Biggs for the night, with a few lingering souls still enjoying the quiet spaces. Kira and I had met up for a more social evening of dinner and drinks to take our minds off the hectic tasks at hand. We usually locked ourselves away in our private dining area, but the purpose was to be available in the open tonight.

"Vincent… Let me tell you. He is fucking _hot_."

"I believe it." I grinned at her as I took another sip of my wine. I was already on my third glass with her and we were graciously tipsy.

"There's something almost hypnotic about him. He's so intense yet gentle… My gods, Ilia, it's so raw." She sighed, tilting her head back slightly. "I really needed this."

"You've had your eye on him for a minute. I wish I were in your shoes, no doubt."

She looked at me with her mouth open. "You vixen! You don't mean that."

I only smiled in response. Vincent was definitely a mouth watering morsel to feast your eyes on, but he was a little dark even for my tastes. However, the man knew what he was doing alright – I hadn't seen Kira so relaxed in what felt like ages. I reached over and took Kira's free hand into my own.

"I'm glad that we are in this together."

She pulled the fork from her lips and placed it down on her plate, now covering my hand in return. "Pfft, I wouldn't allow it to be any other way – you're my boo."

In my peripheral vision I noticed a familiar face sneaking up behind her.

"We're the dynamic duo baby, ain't nothing gonna stop us." She was smiling ear to ear, now lifting her wine glass for a toast. I raised mine in response as our unsuspected guest was ready for the pounce. Long fingers gently pressed against those delicious, succulent lips in an effort to keep me silent. We clanked our glasses together and took our celebratory sip. As the bottom of her glass made contact with the surface of the table, he went in for the kill and grabbed her by the shoulders.

In an instant, Kira swung around with her fist but it was caught in mid-air and she stared at him doe-eyed before reacting.

"Damon!" She gasped, pushing out her chair to stand. "Holy shit, what are you doing here?"

"If it isn't my two favorite ladies." He grinned, wrapping his arms around her in a warm embrace.

I admit that Kira's knowledge of Damon was partially limited by the choice of information I chose to share with her. During the time that Tseng and I split up, Damon became the mysterious suitor, though never named the perpetrator. She didn't find out that whole half of the story until sometime later… But she always seemed to favor Damon still after we kept in touch.

I couldn't believe that he actually showed up however. I called him earlier in the day with a proposal to check out Tian Tan if he wasn't preoccupied with another job. He mentioned that he may be able to free up some time on his schedule but never committed to anything. I watched in slow motion as Kira's face lit up in laughter, Damon turning towards me as I got up from my seat to greet him next.

"Lily.."

The way he said his little nickname for me re-awoke all kinds of emotions inside. I felt my body loosen as his arms wrapped themselves around me. _Oh my heavens.._ He smelled so good. It wasn't a cologne or anything special; it was just the smell of_him._ I felt his hand roam my backside as Kira continued with her questioning.

"What tinkering obsession brings you out here all of a sudden?" She blurted out as we separated and took our seats. I gestured for Cherry to come over and serve our new guest. "I was _not _expecting this."

"I'll take that as a compliment then. I'm actually here inquiring on available work it would seem."

As Cherry came over to introduce herself and take an order from him, I studied his familiar features secretly from across the table. Kira seemed slightly oblivious to my sudden silence and I took full advantage of that while I could. He hadn't changed much – still fresh faced and devilishly handsome even with that silly patch over his left eye. His jokester exterior is definitely misleading for those unfamiliar with his personality. I wonder if that had changed much over the years..

He looked over to me with a smile and that's when Kira's gaze shifted in my direction as well, narrowing slightly.

"I'm glad you were able to make it after all, Damon. Sorry for the late notice." I spoke up in an effort to derail her focus.

"You asked him to come?"

"Hired help?" I sheepishly shrugged, slouching back into the booth cushion behind me.

Cherry came back over with a fresh bowl of miyabi onion soup. Damon thanked her politely and she smiled brightly to him, almost in a swoon before taking off.

Kira's PHS chimed and she let out a frustrated sigh. "Excuse me, gotta take this call. Been waiting all day for this idiot to call me back."

As she left the table, Damon and I sat in silence. He blew on the soup as he took a couple sips to sample the flavor. A favorite dish of his that he always ordered when given the chance, though rarely found one that he thoroughly enjoyed. I hoped he would be pleasantly surprised to find that our chefs were some of the best in all of Wutai.

He grinned down at the broth and looked at me again.

"Lily… I really miss you."

I noticed his hand drop beneath the table and moments later felt the heat of his palm lay flat on my thigh. My lips parted in response as I looked at him as well. Our relationship was a fraction of time in comparison to Tseng and I, but we had a strong connection even beyond the break up and throughout our complex friendship.

Kira came back to the table and he jerked his hand away as he went in for another helping.

_That _didn't go unnoticed.

"What did I just miss?" She asked with a puzzled look on her face.

Damon cleared his throat, "So, on a more personal note, I've decided to temporarily relocate to Tian Tan."

"No shit?" Kira took her seat.

"Relocate?" I asked almost simultaneously.

"Word on the street is that there's a new poker player in the business. I'm here to help keep tabs on a few transactions taking place under the table.. Among other things."

"Where are you staying?" Kira was really curious tonight. What was up with her suddenly?

I think he may have noticed her eagerness, chuckling at her questions. "Hopefully I can crash at your estate while I get my things in order. You've done mighty fine out here, Kiki."

Kira grinned, jamming her fork into a piece of raw carrot still on her plate. "So, why are you really here? I'm not fuckin' stupid." She motioned in our directions with the carrot before popping it into her mouth.

I responded with a soft chuckle myself.

"You wanna tell her, Lily?"

"No, please, go right ahead." I gestured for him to proceed. I knew he would receive a great deal of pleasure from revealing information. He knew how to keep a tight lid on classified details, but when it came to something _he_ had a hand in orchestrating, it was a whole different ball game. Remind ya of anyone in particular?

"I'm here to keep tabs on your new neighbors, probably give Ilia a few good poundings and set up a proper security team for the den."

Kira's mouth hung open for a few seconds before she picked it up off the tabletop. "You guys are fucking?"

"Occasionally, in the past.."

"You bitch… How could you not tell me this? What about Tseng? Holy shit – wait, you guys are in that kind of a relationship?"

"Ki Ki, don't dwell on it. Listen, I get to play with guns all day; if I can get it in, she stays happy – it makes me happy. We are all peachy keen."

Surprisingly, that left Kira quiet. She sat back in her chair, whispered "Unbelievable." and that was the end of it. The arrangements were to have Damon stay in the estate for a little while until he was settled in. When we got back, it sounded as though Jiro had some company over. We could hear flirtatious giggles from a distance.

I lead Damon over to the west wing area where he would be staying. Far enough from my private  
quarters but still a hop and skip away… He hung in the doorway, grabbing my hand before I managed to sneak off.

"Night cap?"

I shook my head, resting a hand against his chest, "It's really good to see you…"

He smiled warmly, kissing me on the cheek. It was our code for trying to make things work. The three of us had a very peculiar arrangement. Being apart for extended periods of time, Tseng understood my need to be with someone. Damon ended up being the one person Tseng trusted enough to allow it despite our complicated past.

* * *

"Damn girl, I was not expecting that tonight."

"I feel relieved that you finally know though."

"Does Tseng know?"

"Yes. It's our arrangement."

"Wow. So wait, _are_ you in a relationship with Damon?"

Kira sat herself on the bathroom counter next to me as I washed my face. Occasionally, we would prep ourselves before bed together. Private bonding time that no one could interrupt – at least when the boys were out.

"It's complicated. You see… I have very strong feelings for Damon. I care for him a lot… But Tseng is my _soulmate_, and they both know where they stand. He also feels that way about his wife."

"He's _married_?!"

"Yes. Her name is Samantha."

"How the fuck did I not know this…"

I dried my face with a hand towel and kissed her on the cheek before retiring to the west wing.

* * *

I think I dreamt about Damon, but I wasn't sure. Everything was a blur and fast paced. We both had woken up before the sun rose, sitting silently in the kitchen together. I watched him as he worked on taking apart a gun to clean it. The simple task of cleaning brought back its own set of memories. Memories beyond our relationship; beyond Tseng. His brows were furrowed as he peered through a thick framed pair of glasses – he had taken off his eye patch, exposing his left eye. I'm sure it was tiring to wear it all the time. I used to sit with him and we would talk for hours as he cleaned his guns and knives. I guess in a way that's kind of a twisted act of bonding, but it felt like home…As odd as that sounds. He gets into these obsessive compulsive moods where he's all business and focused. It's kind of sexy. Perhaps the act of cleaning his guns put me at peace – it held a lot of sentimental value for me. My father used to be part of the SOLDIER program before he passed and we would do the same thing together, showing me how to take apart and reassemble guns.

Kira came into the kitchen suddenly, stretching like a cat while she made her way around the island counter.

"Good morning.." She mumbled, grabbing coffee from the pot and coming over to sit with me at the side table. When she took her seat and looked over to Damon, I swear she almost spit up her coffee.

"Holy shit – what the fuck is that?!"

Damon looked up at her in response, arching a brow. I laughed behind my cup of coffee as I took another sip.

"You've never seen me without my patch?"

"No! Do you think I would have reacted like this if I had?" She coughed, squinting her eyes as she stared at him. "Is that materia?"

Damon removed his glasses to look back at her. "Yep." He had fairly light eyes to begin with, but the materia in his left eye gave it a shimmering green glow. "I won't go into specifics.." He continued, putting the glasses back on and resuming his work. "I risked the chance that it wouldn't work, but managed to morph the long ranged and sense materia together and infuse them."

"Holy… Is this what Shinra has been working on? Gods, are they going to do that shit to Reno.." She was looking over to me now, with a hint of desperation playing in her eyes.

"No dear, he did this on his own years ago before they started really taking the concept of manipulating materia seriously." I could already tell that she was starting to freak out, fearing that they may be experimenting on Reno.

"You would tell me, right..?"

"Tseng would never let it happen."

She grabbed my hand as she finally took a sip of her coffee. I'm not sure if it comforted her to hear that, but it was true. Maybe Tseng wasn't exactly at the top of her list, but protecting all of us was at the top of his. I wish she could see that..

"You know Kiki, that vulnerable side of you, you shouldn't show it off so freely." Damon cut in, pointing a gun barrel at her. "The world devours the weak."

"Weak? Pffft – You have no ide-"

"Actually, I do. I know all about you and I'm only telling you this as a friend…You don't need to have your defenses up against me." He chuckled, giving her a wide grin. "Baby girl, I do everything in my power to keep you guys sleeping safe and sound at night. Remember that."

"That's what we have ninja's for."

"Not saying they aren't doing their job.."

"But you're doing yours better?"

"Heh. I see Vincent's been using his old, sly cliché lines on ya."

She went back to poking around for specifics with Damon as I got up in search of food.

* * *

There was a little cafe in Wutai where I made plans to meet up with an old friend. Luckily, Jiro was available and I figured it was a good time to start getting him involved with the dealings of the Den. Strangely enough though, as close as Kira and I were, Jiro and I never did take to each other. Maybe it was his immaturity that turned me off to developing a relationship with him.

This was going to be his time to prove himself.

As we entered the swanky joint, we were immediately waved down by an eager man in a white coat – the small crowd seemed oblivious to his excitement. Gregory Izenhouwer. Possibly one of the best agronomist in Gaia and fortunately for me, a former classmate from my college days. The flaw? A recovering alcoholic. Could have been a bad call on my end to get him involved with the Dragon's Den, but I knew his work ethic, and even though unconventional at times, he knew his shit. Besides, I needed someone willing to experiment and this was right up his alley.

Acquisition didn't take much. A pack of lucky strikes and mention of multiple gardens bred from my personal collection had him on board without much effort.

"One condition: Cut out the heavy drinking." I had my index finger pointed in his face. I was serious.

"Ya know, it's not like _I _begged you for this invitation."

"You are correct, you didn't, but I know what you are capable of, and the condition is that you get your shit under control. Got it?"

"Roger that." Greg gave me the thumbs up in agreement.

He reached down underneath the table suddenly, placing a small package on the top between us.

"Parting gifts?" I smiled.

"Currently working on flavored combinations… Let me know what you think."

We stood up, saying our goodbyes to each other before leaving. I passed the small package over to Jiro.

"Do I look like your assistant?" He scoffed.

"Yes." I walked passed him to leave and I could hear Damon patting him on the back as if to tell him it would be ok.

Somehow I had a bad feeling about this though…


	19. synapse

_Reno's Log._

* * *

These days in Gongaga, back at the old game. Things were goin' smooth, but hey, you're not surprised are ya? Reno of the Turks you're talkin' to 'ere.

Really gets the old memory banks flowin'. It's funny. I relate everything in my life to that day. The day the plate fell.

Two years prior. Six months before. Three years before. Two years after... It all came back to that event. And now fuckin' finally I felt like that was dwindling and being replaced... by a new golden age of satisfaction.

* * *

_Midgar. 2002. Five years before plate-fall. _

It was so hot in the city. Late September and felt like middle of July or some shit. All that metal and concrete wasn't any help either. Bein' stuck below plate? Might as well be in a prison. How had I ever live down here…

The boss had sent me to snoop, see what the Ancient girl was up to, if she was safe. Tseng had a soft spot for Aerith. I wonder if he told Ilia that or not. And I wondered how much of his affection was an act to throw any Shinra spies off the scent of his marriage. And I wondered how successful he was at really hiding any of his personal life from the company. Turks were pros at that kinda thing after all, and Tseng was the best.

Aerith liked to hang around a decrepit old Church. There were flowers growin' all over the place, the only time I saw any plant life in the slums without a light replicator. The air round the Church smelled nice, and even I could sense there was a bit of magic to it all.

Everything seemed fine. Bit sick of these check ups, but an order's an order. All finsihed, I moseyed on outta there and decided to hit up a bar back in my old haunt, the Wall Market. It was a bit of a trek, but I liked a good walk.

That's when I spotted Ilia. Woo, what a beauty – long blonde hair and big chocolate brown eyes, endless legs. Just what was she doing below plate? Interesting. Did Tseng know bout this? I decided to do a little spy work, just for fun.

She knocked on the door of a garage apartment, twirling her hair around her finger as she waited. A moment later the door opened, and out stepped… the most stunning creature.

She wasn't tall, not like Ilia. Even in the heels she was wearing, Ilia still had a good two inches on her – in flats. She was thin, petite, with perky little tits, and a tiny, round ass. Could tell she knew she had a banging body by the way she carried herself and the tight as fuck clothes she wore. Her hair was long, shiny, straight and jet black – like hair you'd see in some fancy shampoo commercial. Almond eyes were lazy and heavy-lidded, lips a full pout – a look of distant disinterest on her doll face. I was already envisioning her giving me head.

In that first glimpse, I knew she was destined for greatness and I was gonna make her mine. How? How did I know this? It was a fuckin' eerie feeling, and it sent unease throughout me. But it was an intriguing unease, like a red button you're not supposed to push but ya know ya just gotta do it. No fuckin' denying it.

The girls embraced and that cool façade cracked for a split second and I saw her smile. Damn… that smile though. Wide, warm, genuine – almost little girlish in its innocence. It reached her eyes and she lit up with the obvious admiration she had for her friend.

When they pulled apart each craned their heads around to observe their surroundings. That's when I saw Ilia pull out a wad of cash and the diminutive femme fatale handed over what looked like a vial of blow. Well holy shit, this little minx was a drug dealer nonetheless! I winced. Now I had a hard on.

With a satisfied smirk, she pocketed the cash and turned to lock the door behind her. She linked her arm in Ilia's and the two walked off laughing down the street.

Suddenly my trip to the slums became interesting.

* * *

The pair went up-plate and had what I'd call a very normal girl day. Shopping at some fancy boutiques where I'm sure Ilia treated the girl to whatever she wanted. Then dinner, an upscale bar, and lastly to the train station where Ilia saw the girl off. Nothing outta the ordinary or exciting. I snapped a few photos for… _investigative_ purposes.

Tseng texted me exactly at midnight when he said he would. Time to meet for a report.

The back booth at the Starlet House is where the boss chose to meet. He sat stone still with a cold beer in front of him. I slid into the seat across with a whiskey.

"Yo!"

"Reno. Your report?"

"Nothin' much. Aerith's fine, same ol' same ol'. Hangin' at that decrepit old church."

"Understood."

"But holy shit, I saw Ilia out an' about down plate. Did ya know she was wanderin' round down there?"

"Yes, I'm aware. She has a friend who lives in the slums."

"Yea, no kiddin'. A _hot_ friend. Damn! Nice lil figure, long black hair, face of a fuckin' ice queen er something!"

Tseng raised his brow at me, not looking too impressed. "Kira."

"You know 'er?!"

"I know _of_ her, but we have not met."

"She's fuckin' _sexy_, Tseng. And classy. Got this air about 'er that's just… so… powerful. I like it."

"Careful, Reno."

"Pfft. You're warning _me_? C'mon, you know I can handle myself."

Tseng gave a rare smirk. "Yes, I know. But this girl is no one to mess with. Shinra has been keeping an eye on her."

"Ah, I get it. 'Cause she's a drug dealer."

"Ah. You noticed."

"Yea, Ilia was buyin'."

"Hmm. I told her to be more discreet." He sighed, almost talking to himself. "Well, I'm sure you're the only one who saw."

"I'm makin' a move, Tseng."

"I know you are. Just don't let the company find out about your interest in Kira Ruiz."

Kira Ruiz. What a name. The way Tseng had so casually let it slip, I knew he was giving me a lead to further my new obsession.

"Eh, ya know I'm slick, boss." I smirked and downed my whiskey. "Thanks for the info. See ya tomorrow." I stood and threw down a few gil for tip. Tseng nodded his head and I disappeared.

Kira Ling Ruiz, daughter of Vicente Ruiz and Zhi Wu, sister of Jiro Vicente Ruiz. Born January 16th, 1983. Five foot four, 105 pounds. Half Wutain, half Solian. Raised in Sector 2 slums, the 'Little Wutai' of the lower plate. Worked in illegal _doumi_ ring for approximately six months, at age fifteen. Currently working at Wall Market sushi restaurant. Romantically involved with Jae Fung, known gang leader of the Tian clan - now deceased. Known possession and sale of controlled substances marijuana, cocaine, and MDMA.

There were quite a few reports of comings and goings, detailed sitings... up until several months prior. Damn. Shinra kept close tabs. I was surprised they didn't pursue a raid. But further research proved how profitable to the city the Tian gang's business was. A happy party scene was good for the economy. Shinra was a business and not a government after all.

I liked it. My head was already spinning with plans for our prosperous future. Mine and Kira's, that is.

I stole Kira's file and destroyed it. I hacked Shinra's computer systems and deleted any information on her or anyone related to her. Noted the Turk making the investigation, one of the newer recruits. It was easy to forge a document from the top and tell him I was to be taking over Kira's case, and he was not to look into the matter again.

It was too easy.

I devoted the next several months watching her whenever I could. In between grueling missions and fuckin' drama the company seemed to thrive on. This girl was educated. Def not scared to live on the edge. The more I uncovered about her, the more I liked her.

The inklings of my plan were building. She made it so easy. I saw her finesse and success and knew with my help her world would become something bigger than she ever dreamed of. I was gonna make an offer she couldn't refuse… no I was gonna make her mine and bring her along for a wild ride.

* * *

_Midgar. March 13, 2003. Upper plate. Emo's Bar. Four years before plate fall._

It was a curse. An obsession. I'd watched her so many nights, waiting for the right moment to approach. Honestly, I had 'ad plenty of chances, but the odd feeling of nerves and fear wouldn't let me go. Even a few beers deep, I'd end up leavin' the club and returning home for a swim and joint and shower. What was it with this girl? Loved and hated what she did to me.

I don't remember much of our conversation. The night I finally had the nerve.

I do remember Tequila. An' I remember being a complete arrogant dick to her. My one grip on reality and taking control. I wasn't the most grounded, humble individual in my early 20s. Hell, humility isn't my thing to this day. But... let's just say I finally got some sense of how to navigate a world that doesn't just include my own selfish needs. And luckily for me, at that point in her life she was just the right amount of a masochist.

It was goth, darkwave night at Emo's. The little pleased smirk on Kira's face told me that was her vibe. She danced on the edges, in a world of her own. I'd seen her downing a few shots herself earlier so I knew she was in a nice lubricated place in the world.

_"I've been watching you for quite some time... I know what you're thinkin'. Ya didn't see me. Well. That's 'cause I didn't want ya to."_

What a creep.

She hated me immediately. In that way you hate someone 'cause ya know they're making ya fall for 'em. We danced a pretty violent dance around each other for a few weeks. I called raids on raves I knew she was at, we held each other at gun point a few times, and we even offed a rival at the Honey Bee Inn together.

It all ended in the inevitability of us fucking, fighting, and falling in love.

* * *

_Junon. 2006. Six months before the plate fall._

Outskirts of Junon. Kira and I are at the height of our business. Spreading our reach to the next biggest metropolis on the planet. Finally.

His name was Maurice. We grew up together. Slums of Midgar. He had moved with his fam when he was thirteen, and now was the head hancho of Junon. Controlled all the blow, herb, heroin, and MDMA coming into the city. Now, who wouldn't wanna bring in the glow and yak that was oh so exclusive and popular in your friendly neighborhood Midgar?

So here we were. To strike a deal.

He chose a spot that was humid and stormy, south of the city. A jagged, rocky shoreline by the sea. Overcast with that gloomy mist the coast of the western continent was so known for. Humid with a cool, cutting wind.

"Reno, mon homme! Là où est la blé?!," Maurice greeted me with a laugh. I warned Kira that we may be speaking a bit of a dialect known only in a small town outside of Kalm, where my pops was from. She grinned and said she didn't mind. She loved hearing me speak it. As long as we respected her enough to mostly speak the common tongue...

"Ton cul!" I bit my lip and pounded his fist.

"Long time," he said.

"Hi," Kira was always one to step in. "I'm Kira. Nice to meet you."

"Maurice. Reno 'as told me much about you." His accent was thick, but Kira didn't flinch.

"Oh. I _bet_ he has."

Maurice laughed and gave her his famous idol worthy grin. I saw girls fall prey to that all the time. Kira, again, didn't move a muscle. She gave him her penetrating eyes and Mona Lisa smile.

"What took ya so long to contact us, Maurice," she teased him. Her voice was like honey and I could already feel my old friend falling for her charms.

"Well, you know Ki. I got good business goin'. Your product is expensive, and no demand 'til now."

"You get what ya pay for. I've seen a lotta shit on the news bout kids getting sick off bad batches of E. 'Cause the product from the West is trash."

"I never 'ad complaint." Maurice puffed up, all serious now.

She scoffed. "Denial is not a pretty emotion on a supposed businessman."

Maurice had nothing to say to this. I watched Kira light a cigarette for each of them and pass one on to him. The seductress.

"Look," she said. "I can get you better quality everything. Don't you worry about your old hook ups. The Quans are taken care of."

"You know zee Quans."

"We go way back. It's of no concern. I can get you quality that'll make you a legend. I have my own local sources so there is no middle man. You get it directly from me. I test everything. Anyone else creepin' up on your game will be in the dust once you establish _this_ product."

So cold, so raw and to the point. Maurice didn't have time to breathe and Kira already had him eating outta her hand.

"So 'ow much?"

Kira took a long drag and slipped a piece of paper from her pocket to his. Maurice glanced at it.

He laughed. "An' where iz mi profit?"

"It's there. Look again."

"Iz _chump_ change."

"Reorganize your business."

She got back in the car with no further comments, flicking her used butt on the ground.

"You 'ave a tough bitch, Reno."

"Well, yeah." I lit a cig of my own. "What say you? C'mon, you know it's a good deal. Trim your fat man. Or do I contact Jean-Paul?"

"Dat _verge_ would not know 'ow to 'andle. I cannot believe you say dis. After so many year."

I smirked and tossed him a bag of goodies. "Try it out and you'll know what to do."

* * *

_Wutai. Early January. 2008. Weeks after plate-fall._

Taking a vacation in the middle of all this Sephiroth bullshit was probably not the best idea, but Tseng had insisted. Who knows why, I still couldn't figure out what was going on in that dude's head most of the time.

Hey, I wasn't gonna refuse. I was stressed. This nonsense was bigger than anything I'd ever dealt with as a Turk, and I had 'ad my ass kicked way worse than any other time in my life. I was all ready to drink my troubles away at Turtle's Paradise, always a fave spot.

Not to mention Kira was not far from Old Town. At our swanky as fuck estate. She was just settling in, and I was antsy for a visit. I was craving her.

By some fuckin' twist of fate we ended up cooperating with AVALANCHE to get rid of the Don. That fuckin' kidnapping perv. After that mess was handled, I left Rude and Elena to slip away to my Wutain home.

I slid my key in the lock and pushed the door. It swung open with ease, and inside what I found was very different from the home Kira and I 'ad originally built.

We had designed the place to be full of light and openness, but now every shade and blind was shut. The place wasn't really a mess or anything, just dark with a stagnant quality. Oh, and it reeked of opium.

"Hello?" I called out as I wondered into the living room. It was dead.

It took a few moments but I heard Kira's voice call back, from somewhere on the other side of the sofa. The sound of it gave me shivers.

"What are you doing here." It wasn't really a question, and her voice was empty and cold.

"In town on vacation."

"_Vacation_?" she snarled. "Impending doom and Shinra decides to send one of their best Turks on _vacation_. Classic."

"_Hey_. It's been _rough_," I snapped.

"Tell me about it."

I gathered the courage to come around to where she was sitting. What a sight. She was a wreck. She clutched a bottle of expensive red wine in one hand, an unlit cigarette in the other. Her hair was disheveled and I guessed that the black slip she wore hadn't been taken off for several days. Not that it was ratty or anything - it was expensive silk and lace. Sexy. I could see her tits perfectly through the sheer fabric. Damn, she looked hot even in her mess.

"Whoa. Yea. Lookin' pretty rough yourself there."

Her head darted in my direction with a glare that made me uneasy - that famous Ruiz evil venom eye. Got me every time.

"What do you _want_?" she hissed. "_Why_ are you here?"

"Well, technically this is my home, too."

"Shut up. I have _no_ patience. _What_ do you want?"

"…Wanted to see ya."

She laughed and it sounded sad and tired. "And what? Fuck me? Is that what ya wanted?"

"Well… this _is_ the longest I've gone without sex in a while, baby." I settled in next to her, resting my hand on her thigh and giving it a squeeze.

"Unbelievable." She tore my hand away and threw it back at me. "What makes you think I'm gonna fuck you? Is that all you want from me?"

"Of _course_ not! I fuckin' miss you, you're my _wife!_ And ya know… it'd be nice to be able to come see ya… with everything goin' on."

"Shoulda thought about that before you…" She stopped abruptly. She couldn't even say it. Great. Even my own wife thought I was a monster.

She sighed. "Reno, I know this is our home together, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd respect my wishes to be left alone. This is hard for me too, and I need some time to myself. You and I aren't together anymore, I _told_ you that."

"Yea, I remember. I just thought ya might-"

"Change my mind? Tch. Of course you'd think that. But… lately, I feel like I've lost you. Like I don't even know you. The company has been taking you further and further away from me; you _know_ it's true."

"What are ya _talkin_' bout?! You _know_ who I am! C'mon… what the _fuck_, babe!?"

"Stop acting like you don't know what I mean! You know you've been distant. You know you haven't been taking care of yourself. Drinking way more…"

"Says the woman with a bottle of wine in her hand!"

"Stop! I didn't say I was perfect. But this isn't just about me right now… I'm talking about you and how haunted you've become… a shell walking around with Shinra pulling the strings. I can't _stand_ it."

"I'm not a fuckin' _shell_. I'm flesh and blood… I'll fuckin' show you…" I grabbed her arm, pulling her to me and covering her neck and jaw in rough kisses.

But she shoved me away. "Pft. Stop!"

"Tch. Damn. Just like that, you're kickin' me to the curb, huh?"

"…Why is it so hard for you to understand my feelings about this?"

"Because! Because… because... It's always been just us. Against the world. Fightin' and fuckin' and... _living_! You make me feel alive. I fuckin'... need you… I can't lose you." Couldn't believe it but sounded like I was begging, groveling. I knelt beside her, clutching at her body, caressing her, trying to remind her of the connection we had.

She started to cry. Her hands found mine and she stroked me as she looked into my eyes. "Reno. I love you. But I've lost myself in all this, I need some time to find myself again."

"Some time? Then this is a break, not like we're splitting up?"

"… I dunno. I can't look that far into the future, Reno."

"Fuck, girl! I can't deal with this! You _gotta_ gimme some hope!"

"Find your own hope! That's what I'm trying to do!" She stood abruptly, pushing me away. "You're asking too much of me right now, I need to figure out my emotions!"

"Figure out your emotions? Planetary crisis, but Kira Ruiz 'as gotta 'figure out' her emotions."

"_Yes. I do_." She seethed. Bad idea to challenge her feelings.

"An' I'm just supposed to suffer alone while ya do!? Fuck!" I was standing too, anger throbbing in my limbs. She was settin' me off. "We're supposed to be together through thick an' thin, ya know?!"

"I'm tellin' you I can't right now! Part of being together is knowing when the other needs to be alone! Holy _shit_, Reno! You're so _fucking_ selfish!"

"_You're_ fuckin' selfish! I'm goin' through a lot right now an' you've just _fucked_ off like ya don't even care!"

"Maybe you need some time to yourself too, to deal with the _insanity_ that is your life with the Shinra Corporation."

"So… what ya doin' now? Scoldin' me for my life choices?"

"No. Just tellin' you to deal with them."

"I am."

"Well the way you're dealing with them... I don't like, so yea… I'm just gonna _fuck_ off, Reno." With that she stormed outta the living room. Oh no. Oh _hell_ no. I hated when she did that.

I let out a frustrated growl. "_KIRA_, _you're_ _infuriating, woman_!"

I ran after her, catching her arm and spinning her round just outside of her bedroom door. There was a slew of curses an' snarls at the tip of my tongue, but when I looked at her – vulnerable, shattered, tear-soaked cheeks – I crumbled. Couldn't help but kiss her, hold her. She was mine.

To my surprise she kissed me back. Ok, who am I kiddin' – it didn't surprise me. I knew she'd respond.

"Mmm baby," I moaned. I was riled up. It had been too long… and our arguments always got me goin'. Fight and fuck.

She let out a moan that sounded like a cry. The way she clung to me let me know she missed me as much as I missed her.

But she pulled away.

"I think you need to leave."

"What? No… baby… Don't do this." I took her in my arms, holding and petting her hair. "I need this… I need you."

"Stop manipulating me." She whined, squirming outta my embrace.

"I'm not _manipulating_ you! I _want_ you!"

"You haven't even been _listening_ to me!"

"Yea, I have! I been listenin'! Heard every fuckin' word! So yea, I'll leave ya alone. See 'ow long that lasts before you're beggin' for me to come back."

She rolled her eyes. "_Goodbye_, Reno."

"Yea. _Bye_."

I was pissed. Frustrated. Blue balls like hell. Fuck her! I turned to leave.

"Wait," she said.

Pfft. Knew it.

"...I think we should have an open marriage."

What... the fuck. I blinked. "'Scuse me?"

"I don't want a divorce. I just think… we shouldn't try to be faithful to each other right now. We need to live our lives separately."

"Tch. Ya got someone lined up er somethin'?"

She curled her lip at me in disgust. "_No, Reno_. But I know how are you. You're gonna _pop_ unless you can satiate that _beast_ in your pants."

She was right. I would completely lose my shit.

"Yea. I know. So, I got the green light to fuck other girls?"

"Yes."

"And you can... be with other men?"

"Not that that's what's on my mind right now, but I need that option available."

"Fine. 'S only fair."

"Alright then. It's settled."

I was even more pissed now. Never thought I'd hear _her_ bringing up an open marriage arrangement, but I guess that meant she was serious about this time apart. For now I focused on the words 'I don't want a divorce' and 'we shouldn't try to be faithful to each other _right now_.' With Kira that was about as much of a bone she'd throw me.

It felt awkward standin' there, lookin' at her like a dummy. I studied her, memorizing every inch of her body and face. I knew it'd be a while before I saw her again. She could look so different from one moment to the next. Harsh and sharp, then soft and vulnerable and feminine. An ageless face that looked forever like a child and a woman.

I didn't quite know what to do. Strange. I always kissed her goodbye, but now she loomed in the corner with her arms crossed against her chest. There'd be no sexy farewells today.

"Ok. Well, see ya around. I suppose."

"See ya around," her voice cracked as I walked away.

That night I coulda gone to the brothel located outside of Old Town… but I couldn't muster the enthusiasm I once had for that kinda pleasure. Tch. Gods. When had I become so pussy whipped? Two years of being faithful had changed me. I'd have to relearn how to get back in the game... hey, honestly I wasn't that worried.

But for now, I locked myself in my hotel room, scrolling through old sexy photos of Kira. Jerking off.

* * *

_Wutai. June 2010. Two and a half years after plate-fall._

The sky was heavy with thunderheads. Ah, Wutai in the summer. Hot, humid and dramatic. Loved it.

It was my first time this year on this side of the world. Things had been rough and rocky, not only between Kira and I, but with the whole fuckin' planet.

I could count on my fingers the amount of times I'd seen her. How many times I'd fucked her… finally she let me in again. But holy hell… those times had been a fuckin' spiritual experience. Damn. One million lovers and there was none like her. Guess that's what love does to ya, huh?

She was still distant. Never the one to initiate a call or a text. Not even an email. So when she contacted me with an urgent matter, telling me to come quick, better believe I jumped on it.

She was waiting for me at our airstrip. For once she wore more than some snazzy, slinky slip. She looked professional and I had flashbacks to our time together back home in Midgar. All regal and sophisticated in a black suit. Large aviator sunglasses and hair flowing freely.

"I was gonna show you immediately when you got here, but now it looks like it's gonna rain," she said. Her voice was her no nonsense, business tone. Hmm. I guess I got no warm welcome.

"Show me what?" I said coolly. I slid into the passenger seat of her car. Four wheel drive all terrain vehicle. All shiny and tricked out. Black. Sunroof and standard transmission. Girl could drive.

It was then she turned to me with a wry smirk. "The oil seepin' out of a cave on the North side of our property."

I looked at her with mouth wide open for a sec then grinned with a laugh. "Ah. So that's why ya rushed me over 'ere."

"Oh yea. Wanna go see?"

"Yea. I don't mind a lil rain."

Glorious. Oil. Like mother Gaia giving us a gift of more money, just as I knew Kira was running low. We twirled and danced in the rain. I lifted her high above me. Tossed her around in my adrenaline rush. Life was sweet.

I made a few phone calls. Reeve was ecstatic; he could barely keep contained. Things were underway immediately.

We were back at the house. A nice, leisurely dinner. Drinks. Celebrating you could say.

I couldn't take my eyes off her. She looked happier than I remembered. More at ease. She was the Kira I had always known. Powerful, relaxed, and in control. Guess she had 'found' herself again.

And she was a little drunk. We both were.

She laughed, taking off her blazer to reveal a thin, silky white top with spaghetti straps. As usual, she wasn't wearing a bra. Fuck. I was trying so hard to give her space, the one thing she required from me these past few years. Every move had to be hers.

"Oh my gods, Reno! Can you believe our luck!" she exclaimed, spinning around the kitchen, pouring me another glass of champagne. "We're gonna be _rich_… again!"

The house was in order too, all the shades up and some of the windows open. A warm, sticky summer breeze blew through the halls. I remembered our penthouse with the pool courtyard that felt like a sauna most the year. That hot, humid vibe was def a prerequisite for Kira and I. It fit our mood.

"I'm not surprised, babe."

She laughed again. "Oh, is that so?" she cooed. She snuggled next to me, wedging her body under one of my arms so I cradled her. The tease.

She hummed a relaxed sigh. "I'm kinda sleepy, Reno," she said in a dreamy, high-pitched girlish voice.

Heh. I knew what that meant. I smirked with amusement, that headiness of anticipation. Lust.

I downed the champagne in one swig, grabbing the bottle and some empty glasses in one hand. "C'mon. Imma tuck ya in." I swung her over my shoulder. She giggled and kicked her legs.

Her bedroom. Our bedroom? Minimal, Wutain design. A whole wall of shoji screens that opened up to face the courtyard. Sultry view of the pool glowing in the dark.

I threw her onto the bed and started to undo the straps of her red heels. I rubbed her feet and she let out little sounds of pleasure.

"Ya sleepy, baby?" I whispered.

"Mmm-hmmmmm…."

"Here, let me undress you."

"Mmmmm… yessss."

I grinned in the dim light as I watched over her. She was smiling, so content. I unzipped her trousers and slowly pulled them off her legs. She let me.

Her legs were smooth. So soft and supple. I ran my hands along their length, kneading and petting. I kissed her ankles and calves. Until she let me move further up to her thighs.

"Fuck. You smell so good. You're so soft. I missed you…" I murmured into her flesh.

"I missed you too," she hummed. "Do to me whatever you like… I'm your little doll, Reno."

_Fuck_. I ripped off the rest of her clothes as she giggled like a schoolgirl. This woman drove me _wild_.

She wasn't submissive for long. Now she was in a hurry to pull off my suit, unbutton my shirt. All in a rush to get her mouth and skin on mine. She ran her hands along every inch of me, teasing me with her nails and teeth. Giving me goosebumps.

Her body wrapped around mine and I held her close. Our breathing slowed in synch. Our mouths intermingled - the kiss of forgiveness. A hot, slow-burning ember. The whimper and moan of hungry, begging beasts.

We melted together. Merged. There was no other way to describe it. I fucked other girls. But Kira and I... we were one.

* * *

_A single moment was enough to create this:_

_A retinal distraction when a scatter of light_  
_Hits and forms an image._  
_Perfection is the harshest term._  
_The shade of your eyes is a curse, it's a curse._

_Don't look at me._  
_Don't look at me, it hurts._

_The neurons have fired:_  
_A torrential surge through the optic nerve..._  
_I can't find the words._

_The warmth of a body in an empty bed..._  
_When only the scent is left, only dissent is left._

_It's too late for rational sense, the neurons have fired._

_A single moment was enough to create this:_  
_A retinal distraction when a scatter of light_  
_Hits and forms an image._  
_Perfection is the harshest term._  
_The shade of your eyes is a curse, it's a curse._

_Don't look at me._  
_Don't look at me,_  
_It hurts._

_\- synapse by linea aspera_


	20. wolves

_[from the perspective of Rafael Vida...]_

* * *

A lot of things have happened since the night of the party. I've been knee deep in work, getting the girls ready for performances, special events, making sure the casinos run smoothly,  
the restaurants…It was a lot. The Biggs Towers have become the hot spot in Tian Tan, every day was an entirely new neon drunk adventure and _I_ was the one responsible for running the show as smoothly as possible.

Today were rehearsing for the _Shiva Winter Ball_ on New Years Eve, marking the first new years event for the Biggs; I decided it had to be big, _explosive_, and memorable. Something tourists will talk about for months after the festivities have ended, and hopefully they'll flock to us again next year knowing just how insane the party is. I'm crossing my fingers it'll be successful endeavor, transforming the gala into a annual event.

I pitched the idea to Kira and she absolutely adored it. A dazzling display of fireworks made from the finest dynamite in North Corel, numerous parades of Wutaian dragons scurrying through the square outside of the towers, with jugglers, stilt walkers, fire breathers all dressed in traditional Wutian garbs, food booths, etc…The list goes on and on. A true homage to the culture of Wutai.

"One, two, three, let's go girls. Get those legs up!" yelled Malcom Rex, the house choreographer. I studied the burlesque moves down in the pit, several feet before the stage. That's when I was greeted by Cherry, and….someone else.

"Rafi! I have another girl for you! And she's from Midgar like you!" I raised an eyebrow and faced the newcomer; recently there have been an influx of girls seeking refuge and work at the Biggs. Girls who led lives of drugs and prostitution, seeking a way out of their former realities. I promised that anyone who needed work would get some, besides, could there ever be a shortage of pretty ladies running around here?

The girl had mid length hair, the color of soft cotton candy, her eyes a beautiful shade of turquoise. Definitely a diamond in the rough among the girls already staffed here; I greeted her with a smile. "Hello there, I'm Rafael."

"Hi. Name's Zoe." she cooed flirtatiously. So, she was clearly the outgoing type. "Zoe, that's a cute name. Tell me, what kind of work are you looking for?" I asked. There were many positions here, and some girls weren't able to fulfill them all. Some, like Cherry, were meant to be hostesses and NOT dancers.

"I'm not much of a dancer." she giggled. "But I do love mingling. I wouldn't mind being a waitress." There was something perfectly executed about her voice, it sounded natural but there was an aura of confidence coming from her.

"Alright then simple enough. Cherry, mind showing her the ropes? Get her a room too." The ditzy blonde nodded her head; "Yup! Come on Zoe!" Zoe smiled, her eyes half closing; "Thank you Rafi." she giggled, before being yanked away.

_Ring ring_! There goes my PHS. Looking at the screen I could feel my heartbeat quicken, my posture became rigid and tense…It was Rufus. I paused for a moment before putting the phone to my ear; "Were you thinking about not answering? Is that why you waited so long?" Rufus' voice was always so calm, soothing, and invariably cold. He wasn't the sort of guy to converse about pleasantries. Everything with him had to be a display of intensity.. At times it'd exhaust me. But secretly I just loved the rush…

"Busy, busy. I can't always entertain you." I replied.

"But you already are. Are we still on for tonight?" My cheeks burned…

"Of course. How could I refuse the President's company?" Rufus laughed, a rare occasion; "Don't you ever forget that little Rafael…" I couldn't help but feel my hairs stand on end. The way he addressed me, with such authority, such absoluteness. Well, I couldn't resist it.

Since the grand opening, Rufus and I…Well we've become a_ habit_ of sorts. We would see each other, have a 'romantic' dinner, fuck all night, a romantic morning, more fucking, and then he'd leave and then…We'd do it all over again another day. It was all very discreet, very sudden, and as soon as it happened the experience quickly faded into the shadows. At first I tore myself up about it, after all, I still felt like I was Biggs' man. Then the guilt came, he was most likely turning over in his grave after observing what I've done from up above…Wherever he was. The Lifestream? Fuck if I know.

Tonight was another of those nights, and even though some time has passed I still get nervous.

_THE NIGHT OF THE GRAND OPENING OF BIGGS TOWERS, July 27th of 2012_

It wasn't long until the twin pagodas stood in all it's shimmering glory in central Tian Tan. While architects and construction workers fervently poured their time and effort into the Biggs construction, I recruited a staff of beautiful and exquisite entertainers. My geisha. Training them, educating them, and setting their lives down a path where they can actually be something other than a cheap fuck at the Honey Bee. I wanted a respectable staff, a group of tight knit girls that will make the Biggs Towers the classiest and most desired destination for anyone traveling through the seven seas of Gaia.

"Stand up straight and don't be sloppy." I instructed Cherry. The ditzy blonde fixed her posture with a childish pout. She didn't like being proper. Every week I'd schedule classes and seminars in Kira's mansion to train the maidens for their up and coming career. In the middle of the room there was a table. They were practicing dinning etiquette. A row of girls sat at the table, on both ends, waiting to be addressed.

"Don't sass me Cherry. Or would you rather sleep with Don Cornero in his King sized bed?" Ugh, I sound like Kira. She must be rubbing off on me more than usual.

"It's hard." she squeaked. "I don't know if I can do this!" she whined. Sigh, it's always the same thing.

"Look Cherry. I asked you to come work for me because I know you can live a better life yourself, if given the opportunity." Cherry nodded her head weakly; "Yes….Your right."

"It's going to take work. Success doesn't come over night. Remember the Wheel of Fortune card? Eventually it'll all go up, but not without the work being done first." Cherry nearly shed a tear as she threw her arms around me; "Oh my god, thanks Rafi." she squealed. I smiled back, but with a lack of genuine interest.

"Alright, alright. Now back to work!" _Clap! Clap!_

* * *

The party for the Biggs Towers grand opening was a whirlwind ofnumbing bittersweet emotion. Sure, I'm taking an extremely successful step forward with my life, but at at the same time it was all in the memory of my baby, my man, former AVALANCHE member Biggs. My eyes couldn't help but brim with tears as I peered through the shade of the window. My sockets widened at the extraordinary glow of the neon lights, music, and chatter that echoed through the evening air. It rivaled the chaotic atmosphere of the Golden Saucer no doubt. I couldn't believe all of this had been accomplished. Was I really responsible for such a sight?

Not without the help of Kira. A woman whose become not only a business partner and ally, but a true friend. I owed my future to her. After all, I was now apart of the growing Tian Tan empire here in Wutai. The only direction there was to go now is up.

As I greeted guests and smiled for the flashing camera lights, Kira finally showed up, along with Nami and Illia. Illia…She still had those sad doe eyes. Kira briefly mentioned Tseng of the Turks to me before when I asked about it. Apparently he was the one who was at fault for her clouded moods. Frankly didn't surprise me, f_ucking Turks_ always had to fuck shit up_. _

Once we were all inside, I conducted a lame toast I wrote about a week ago. I haven't looked at it since I wrote it, it was just some generic hubbub, a few shout outs, let's party, yada ya. Not a big fan of being the full face of the event, but I did what I needed to do to keep up appearances. Secretly I wanted to tell all of these superficial greedy fucktard morons that this new site was in commemoration to my late boyfriend who died years ago thanks to the recklessness of the Shinra corporation. But of course, that wouldn't be professional would it?

Meeting Reno for the first time wasn't at all that comfortable either. As soon as he opened that pompous mouth I had to leave. Otherwise he'd end up with a face full of smashed teeth.

"I'm so proud of you Rafael." Tifa gave me a warm hug.

She knew, better than anyone, how much tonight was hurting me. While everyone guzzled down their champagne obliviously, I carried the weight of what this celebration actually meant. It was a post modem, a final farewell. "Thank you." I whispered, as my eyes stung with tears.

"But let me just say one thing…" she said with a smile. "Biggs wouldn't of wanted you to act like a party pooper tonight. He would want you to have some fun! Enjoy yourself!"

Tifa grabbed a flute of champagne off a waiter's tray and handed it to me. "Live a little." she encouraged. I couldn't help but smile, Tifa's kindness always did.

"You're right. If anything he'd want me drunk off my ass." We laughed. "Exactly!" she chimed. Tifa took a champagne glass for herself and raised it in a personal toast.

"To Biggs and the rest of AVALANCHE….And the love you two shared. Trust me I know it was real." I did everything I could to keep it together, no need for a scene now. I silently nodded my head in agreement – _CLINK!_

As Tifa finished her sip of champagne, she uncomfortably looked over the crowd. "So tell me about Kira…" she asked quietly. I noticed the sudden change of mood.

"She's a ball buster, what can I say." That she was. Kira may know how to play hard, but she knew how to work hard, and work others _harder_. "I find her choices in men in very poor taste though." Oh man, was the bubbly getting to my head already?

Tifa hiccuped nervously; "Tell me about it…" Now what was she hiding? I raised an eyebrow before bathing my mouth into my own personal carbonated pool. Certainly whatever she was holding on to was none of his business, but I couldn't help the curiosity. If it's what I imagine, well let's just say my lips stretched into a grin from such a thought.

Two glasses later I found myself laughing at our private booth with Nami, playing a silly drinking game of truth or dare. There were only two options. Either you answer the question truthfully or you take a shot if you don't want to answer. Simple enough. "Okay, tell me the dirtiest place you ever had sex, come on now!"

I waved my hand dismissively; "Forget it! I'm not telling you shit!" Honestly the truth was a little embarrassing.

Four shots later and I think I over did it a bit with the alcohol. Pssh, but don't judge me. Once that numbing feeling washed the sorrows and anxiety I harbored down the hatch, I just had to focus on the good time at hand. Nobody could blame me, especially not tonight.

Nami clapped his hands; "Come on girl, drink another one." My face was already blazoned crimson; "No way, no, no I can't." I giggled. But it was too late, Nami was already pouring another shot glass full of sake.

"If you don't drink you lose." Nami and I both looked up, it was no one other than Rufus Shinra, President of the Electric Company. I couldn't help but immediately roll my eyes.

"He's right you know!" Nami urged. I grunted as I snatched the glass from the table and poured it into my mouth….before coughing up a storm. No way I could take another one.  
Rufus smiled; "I guess your still in the game. Mind if I join? I'm always growing tired of business chatter." Before I could shoo the man away, Nami invited him in.

"Sit _sempai_, sit!" Rufus took a seat across from me, his eyes were a piercing blue, and his golden hair slightly glowed in the dim lighting of the Jungle Room. Hm, well if the big boy wanted to play, then we'll play. My mouth developed a daring grin as I pointed a finger at him.

"Okay, okay. Newcomer's turn. Are you ready?" Rufus closed his eyes, a silent scoff if anything. Such egocentric behavior nearly prompted me to flip over the table.

"Go ahead." Rufus welcomes the dare. "Aren't you the one responsible for bringing down the Sector 7 plate? Go on, I wanna hear you say it." Nami closed his eyes and looked away, he couldn't believe I brought some old shit up, but I did. Oh yes, I did. Sweet revenge baby. Putting on the spot and embarrassing him would make him feel only ten times better. Rufus just chuckled.

I sneered. "What's so funny?" Rufus's eyes pierced through me as soon as he opened them. My mouth hung open slightly, I was…Enraptured. I've never seen such an intense pair of eyes before.

"I didn't order the plate to be brought down, that was my father. Before he was assassinated of course." he stated with a smile. "Looks like you drink."

I was flabbergasted. My expression caught off guard as Nami stealthy poured me another shot of sake. "W-What….But….You must have…Errr."

"Drink." Rufus ordered. I growled as Nami ushered the drink into my mouth; "Come on now girl, in it goes!" Ugh. I think I need to vomit now.

"I don't feel so good." I stood up from my booth seat and wiped my forehead; "I think I might head…to the…bathroom." Nami shook his head as he took a sloppy sip of his own from his sake cup; "Uh oh." he chirped.

"Don't worry about it. I'll take him there." Rufus took me by the arm and lead me away. I was too much in a haze to really care honestly.

I nearly passed out over the toilet. Man, how embarrassing. Puking your brains out in front of the President. But Rufus just sat there with me, rubbing my back. Ugh, who fucking cares. He's part of the reason why my life went as shitty as it did. He should be my personal servant after all the crap I had to endure.

"You know your kind of cute when your not running that mouth of yours." he cooed. But I couldn't even hear the words. I just wanted to sleep. "Mmmm…" My head collapsed in his chest as I let my eyes droop slightly. I was too tired to put up any kind of argument now.

I could hear Rufus chuckle; "I guess I have to take care of you then."

My eyes closed and I passed out before being laid out on a bed. I mumbled as I turned over, feeling a muscular chest with my hand. I giggled; "You've been…weeerkin out….huh Biggs…" I immediately clung to the body next to me, the warmth, the comfort, the security….For once in four years I actually felt safe. Like I was in his arms again.

"I…llahhhve you…" I sighed, as I entered a slumber.

And for the next several hours I would have the best sleep of my life since that fateful day.

* * *

I remember waking up the next morning, cradled in Rufus' arms. He was still asleep. I nearly freaked out as soon as I opened them, and bolted from his grip…But I ended up surrendering to the moment. It felt so good, to be in his arms, it was like I didn't have to think about anything else but the comforting feeling. I wanted to stay in that position forever. I never wanted to move, and eventually I fell back asleep.

When we both woke up I feigned disgust and questioned whether or not we slept together.

"I may have made some bad decisions, but I'm no monster." he chuckled. Pssh, I wonder if I believe him, but my ass wasn't hurting so he must have been telling the truth. Something told me that calm exterior masked a turbulent interior. I awkwardly peeped onto my laptop to see Kira and Reno splashed all over page six. "Oh shit…I gotta go."

"Leaving so soon?" Rufus put his arms behind his head, his chest and abs…I coughed; "If we didn't sleep together why are you shirtless? And more importantly why no pants?" The President smirked; "This is just how I sleep." I rolled my eyes. He was such a pompous bastard, just like the rest of his Turks… "Besides, you'd know if we slept together." he cooed.

Whatever.

Since then Rufus has been appearing more and more frequently, taking me out on 'dates'. Tonight we were on our way to a small little nook of a restaurant, still classy, just low-key. It was called the _The Pearly Gates Grill_.

"I'm still not too sure about you." I mean, come on, he was a Shinra. Those guys were never good. I played around with the shrimp in my pasta, a bit uncertain. What am I doing here?

"I'm sure of you though. I'm sure of how much you actually enjoy my company." I scoffed, an audible scoff.

"Get real."

"Maybe I should tell you a little bit about my own personal history with the company." he proposed calmly.

"No, it's not necessary."

A couple times now Rufus tried to explain his side of the story, but I always shot him down. I just didn't want to hash out the past. I told him from the beginning that one thing we would not discuss is Shinra and what happened. Rufus wasn't having it tonight however.

"Your going to listen to me." his voice deepened. His eyes turned a shade darker. I swallowed, and before I could stop him he already began the story…

Surprisingly, the conversation actually descended into an area of interest. I couldn't believe the things that came out of Rufus' mouth, it was almost unbelievable. He lead a rebellion? Against his own father and was even imprisoned for it? It really made me feel stupid, giving him such a hard time about his ethics. Then again. it didn't excuse any of the bad decisions he's made in the past. Still, I felt attracted to him. Actually emotionally attracted to him for the first time. Hearing him talk was inspiring. Every word that came out of his mouth was just so well executed and poised. And I feel like I can barely fathom a sentence half the time.

"What's the matter? Still don't believe me?" I shook my head. "I just didn't expect to hear that from you…That's all."

Rufus narrowed his eyes at me; "Why do you really despise Shinra? Aren't you part of the higher class in Sector 4? How did the Sector 7 plate falling _actually_ effect you?"

"How do you know I was born in Sect-"

"Answer the question." Ugh, why would I even ask that. He was the fucking President of Midgar, he most likely plucked my file off a computer the minute he learned my name.

"I….I lost someone." I stared into the beige creamy sauce of my pasta. I couldn't look at him.

"Who did you lose?"

"My boyfriend. He was…an AVALANCE member." Rufus wasn't surprised or shocked by this. "Now, was it so hard to tell me that?" I blinked.

"Wait, you already _knew?_" Anger began to boil into my face. The nerve of this guy. Did he think he could just dust my volume off the shelf and give it a read just cause he was bored? What a fucking heartless bastard. No regard for the individual, just for his own ego centric bullshit.

"I'm no fool Rafael. Anyone connected to the incident would know. Biggs helped with the destruction of the mako reactor in Sector 1, as well as the reactor in Sector 5."

I could feel my hands ball into fists. "I've heard enough. I'm leaving." Standing up roughly, the sounds of the plate and table shifting caused the other guests to stop their conversations in order to pay better attention to what was going on. All around them people started recognizing the President.

_"Isn't that Rufus Shinra?" "What's he doing here? "Whose he with?" _

Rufus ground his teeth together; "_Sit down_."

Apparently he didn't like being embarrassed. "Oh, am I humiliating you? Good." I briskly walked to the door. Why on earth am I letting this man seduce me? Am I just bored? No, I was doing it because the attention felt good. To be in the arms of another man. To feel safe and sound. Like the way I used to when Biggs…

Out of the restaurant now I began the direction towards home. Fuck this. If I wanted to feel invaded I would've rented some weird bondage porn or something. I could feel my eyes stinging with the formulation of tears. I just wished _he_ was here…

"Rafael, _stop_." I felt a strong hand on my arm, whirling me around to face those powerful blue eyes. "What?!" I spat, avoiding his stare.

He leaned his face closer to mine; "Don't_ ever_ embarrass me like that again."

And with that, Rufus Shinra kissed me. A kiss so sudden and so deep, I lost control that exact same second. This wasn't good.

My face was smashed against the wall while the President pounded me from behind. I moaned and let the pain, the stress, and anxiety leave my body. He wrapped a hand around my throat and pulled me backwards, his arm pressing down on my chest, forcing me to arch me back further as he bore into me.

Sex with Rufus was very different. His grunting, it was something far more animalistic than Biggs could ever muster. There was something chaotic bubbling underneath he just unleashed when intimate. It was _intense_. He was nothing like the man he was during dinner.

"I like you, so don't fucking piss me off." he growled in my ear, as he let out a thundering moan. Just like that, I could feel the rush of his release inside me.

I collapsed onto him, heaving, but….Relaxed. If you wanted to ask me what exactly was going between the President and I, well I couldn't tell you. Things were just happening.


	21. carry on

_[from the perspective of Denzel...]_

* * *

It was the day of December 31st, 2012. New Years Eve.

Denzel, one of Tifa's boys, walked through the ruins of Sector 7. Midgar was empty now, a forgotten pile of metal, stone, and rubble. Despite working at the 7th Heaven, Denzel still helped out by going back to his old job, scrounging scrap to sell for Edge's construction. The city had a long ways to go before it'd get to the mass Midgar used to be, and even then he hoped it wouldn't be the same.

At least in Edge everyone was equal. One thing about Meteorfall, it didn't matter how rich you were. Everyone was going to die. If you think about it from a morbid point of view, the possibility of Gaia's wipeout instilled the concept of equality.

Near the old playground, not too far from where the original 7th Heaven stood, Denzel dug into the dirt. He felt a strange combination of numbness and nostalgia, as memories of his family seeped into his mind. After the epidemic with geostigma, he did his best to forget them and focus on his new life with Tifa at the bar.

"Hm?" His gloved finger hit something hard, but delicate. Raising an eyebrow, the boy, now thirteen years old since the crisis started, pulled out a severely scratched up plastic jewel case from the crust of the earth. Inside was a metallic silver CD – ROM.

Back at the 7th Heaven, Denzel went over to Tifa's computer. Marlene was out with Barrett and Tifa and Cloud were off in Wutai for some WRO event or something. He was alone.

Denzel opened the case and looked down at the disk curiously. He didn't think twice before popping it into the drive.

Pressing a couple keys, the CD began to upload, prompting a window to pop up on the screen with various folders of files, data log entries and videos…He raised an eyebrow and clicked on one of the videos entitled with the number _101010775 – November 9th, 2007 _

Interesting, an exact month until the bombing of the first Mako Reacter. The event that started this whole thing.

_Blink_ – a new window popped up with a video. A man in a bandana with brown hair…In a room with computers…Denzel didn't know who he was, most likely a soul lost from Sector 7's destruction. He just watched and listened.

* * *

Video Entry: _101010772 – November 9th, 2007 _

"This is Biggs, we are finally live!" The youth clapped his hands excitedly.

"The whole crew broke into one of AVALANCHE"s old hideouts close to Cosmo Canyon. Let me tell ya, these guys are smart." Biggs ran an excited hand through his hair.

"They already had advanced plans for bombs they intend to use on the Shinra Building. This shit is really powerful stuff."

"It'll take a while for us to actually make the bomb, but good thing I got Jessie and Wedge to help me out with that." he stated with a cheesy thumbs up.

"I didn't think we could make much of a difference in the world until today. Remember, I'm just some two bit hacker from the slums. Sure, I can steal passwords, decipher security codes, enter bank accounts.." Biggs wiggled his eyebrows childishly. "But in the end, I just…I just want to make Midgar a better place ya know? The people in Sector 7 are struggling every day, they deserve a chance."

"Biggs, Rafi's here!" called a female voice from above. "Oh crap, it's _his_ birthday! I thought I'd have more time, gotta keep the baby happy." he laughed with a wink.

"Biggs, out!" _Transmission end_.

Denzel's eyes widened a bit, he couldn't believe this Biggs guy was involved with AVALANCHE… Did that mean he knew Tifa and Barrett?

This time the boy opened a data log.

* * *

Data Log: _101010773 –_ _November 20th, 2007_

It's been eleven days since we found the blueprints on the bomb. Jessie's already been well underway in its construction. Damn, I didn't think she was that fast!

But that's always been Jessie. It's hard to admit, I think she's even better than me.

We finally agreed on a day, December 9th, and it's going to be glorious, but…I've been getting nervous. Rafi and I got into a huge fight the other day when I finally decided to tell him. Trust me it wasn't pretty.

"Are you guys insane? I was all for this AVALANCHE business until you decided to make things violet. I thought you guys were going to do silent protests and sit ins and shit!" Rafi yelled, red in the face. It was a tense situation, but _god_, I loved it when he got like this. He shed all that Sector 4 prim and properness and became _raw and_ _real_. That's the boy I fell in love with.

I knew I had to diffuse things quickly. We were in a cheap motel down the street from the 7th Heaven. When Rafi spent the night we would go there. I couldn't fuck him at the bar for everyone to hear now, I have _some_ manner of respect for my comrades, hehe.

"Hey don't worry about it, everything's going to be fine. Barrett will be with us and we even hired this guy that used to be in EX-SOLDIER to help us out." I tried putting my arm around him, but Rafi shrugged away. He was really upset now.

"Wow, an Ex-SOLDIER. And you trust him? God, you guys are reckless." he crossed his arms and looked nervously out the window. I insisted and wrapped my arms around his waist, mouth pressed on the nape of his neck. Rafi sighed from the anxiety.

"I'm going to be careful, I'm not going to make any stupid mistakes. You already know me." I whispered into his ear.

"Why do you have to take this to the extreme?" he asked, his voice sounding defeated. He still didn't understand. He was a kid from the upper class, how could he possibly get it?

"You haven't lived to see how much damage these mako reactors have done to the planet. People are getting sick from the radiation. Shinra won't extend jobs to the poor or improve the slums by fueling money into them. No, every dirty cent they make goes right to the mako reactors. We can't live like this anymore." My voice was gentle, I didn't want to sound like I was standing on my soapbox.

"I'm just scared. People live in Sector 1 too. What's going to happen to them? Homes will be destroyed…" I quickly had to cut him off. Last thing I needed was a guilt trip.

"How else are we going to get President Shinra's attention? Baby, come on." I turned Rafi around to face me and comforted his saddened expression with a big goofy grin. No response, his eyes avoided mind.

"Come on, I love you.." I leaned over and kissed him, he kissed back.

I couldn't talk about AVALANCHE with him anymore. I just wanted him to have peace of mind, and some fucking amazing sex was just the thing the doctor ordered…

* * *

Data Log: _101010774 –_ _December 1st, 2007_

Everyone in AVALANCHE was cool with my relationship with Rafi. At first, not so much...

They didn't feel comfortable with someone a) from an upper class sector and b) whose parents worked for Shinra in their personal space, but I managed to convince Barrett and the others that he was a good guy.

We all gathered one night at the BBQ diner at the Wall Market so that I could introduce Rafi to the gang. Surprise! He warmed up to everyone quickly, Tifa especially. Barrett thought he was cool too, but pulled me aside while everyone slurped their noodles and got acquainted.

"Yo, I ain't sayin I got a problem with this. But the minute your boy gets outta line he's cut." I couldn't help but laugh, Barrett was so overprotective it was ridiculous. "You better not tell him shit about anything we discuss AVALANCHE related."

"Don't worry about it, I wouldn't be seeing him if I didn't think he was legit." Barrett raised a skeptical eyebrow. "And my lips are sealed boss." I made a zipping motion over my mouth, of course, all if it was a lie. I wanted to share the great changes coming to Midgar with my guy. After all, I think hearing about it will inspire him to do something to help the community. His families rich after all, having someone up there could be a useful resource in the long run when this thing goes down.

"Since when were you into dudes anyway? Not that I have a problem with it or nuthin.." I could tell the big guy was..uncertain about it. Pssh, sexuality was fluid man. At least for me.

"I dunno, it's just preference at the end of the day." He narrowed his eyes at me, I guess he just didn't find the appeal. He was straight after all. A hetero-sexual, dubbed by the psychs.

"Whatever, I dun give a fuck what you do in your free time. But he _ain't_ spending the night at the bar. Not when Marlene's around, not when _I'm_ around." he growled. I couldn't help but burst into laughter. He knew me too well.

"Okay, okay fair enough!" I put my hands up in surrender. I bet I get laid way better than this bozo right here. Bet he could learn a thing or two about it from me. After all, Barrett wasn't the 'romantic' type, not in the very least.

Enough with the reminiscing though, I guess as the days creep on by I get more and more anxious about it…

In about a week's time, we'll be initiating the revolution of our planet.

Unfortunately, tonight brought on another fight with Rafi.

"You think I'm some privileged spoiled brat, don't you? Like I don't know shit about suffering! Do you know the hardships _we_ go through, huh? The expectations?" I've never seen Rafi so upset before. We were just having a simple conversation about wealth and class and things got out of control. I may have mentioned he had it a bit easy, coming from a wealthy family and all…Sigh, he's been on edge lately, trying to cope with the 'big plan'. I could see how nervous it made him, the fear in his face…

"I didn't mean anything by it ba-" "No, _of course you didn't_." He crossed his arms and faced the window, the same way he did ten days prior in the motel room. A bout of deja vu hit my head.

"Don't you remember how we met?" His voice was clipped. The memory was already routing itself through my brain, a memory I'd rather forget. I could feel my hands ball into fists out of anger. I hated thinking about it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Come on…" Wow, I felt like shit now. I guess I get wrapped up too much into my own problems to realize that I'm not the only victim here…

"I understand what your trying to do here, but your going about it the wrong way." he snapped. Rafi turned to face me. "You all are just a bunch of terrorists! Get it? Terrorists! That's what AVALANCHE is…" I grunted. He was right. The original AVALANCHE was nothing but just that. Then again, they were trying to spark change. They were trying to make the world a better place by starting a rebellion. They couldn't wait around until things got better, no fuckin way! I could feel the passion already churning in my stomach.

"Shinra is _destroying the planet_. The previous AVALANCHE was just trying to help. Shinra wants to control everything, they want to control _you_! Sometimes a peace talk isn't going to cut it! We have to take things to the next level so they finally get the message!" Rafi growled. "Fuck you and your environmentalist world peace bullshit." he spat, bolting for the door. I didn't chase after him. I could tell he needed to cool off.

God, why did he have to be so hot when he was angry?

* * *

Data Log: _101010775 –_ _December 8th, 2007_

Today we all got together at the 7th Heaven for a final dinner before the big day.

All of AVALANCHE would be there, Tifa, Barrett, Marlene, Jessie, Wedge…Rafi.

As Barrett drank a bottle of beer with Wedge, and Jessie played with Marlene, Tifa served bowls of her specialty Final Heaven Ramen to everyone. You could travel to the finest restaurant in Sector 0, your not gonna find ramen as good as this. I grabbed my chopsticks and looked towards the entrance. No sign of Rafi yet.

"Is Rafi still coming Biggs?" asked Jessie. She stopped playing with Marlene and prepared to take in a slurp of noodles.

"Yea, where's he at tonight?" enforced Wedge. Barrett just gave me a suspicious look, honestly it was nobody's damn business.

"He's just running late." I mumbled, before slurping on some noodles myself. Tifa looked a bit worried.

"Can't believe tomorrows the big day! Did you invite your friend Tifa? The EX-SOLDIER who'll be joining us for the mission?" Jessie was a huge flirt, especially when a cute new boy came around. When she heard he was an EX-SOLDIER, she practically lost her shit. Jessie couldn't help but get excited. I guess she believes former military personnel are an attractive lot. Nobody's met the mysterious guy yet though, apparently he's been 'sick'. What good is a sick EX-SOLDIER?

Tifa sat down with a cup of tea, she would rather stay sober just in case everyone else got piss drunk. Somebody had to be that Mother Hen of the group and that was Tifa. "He's still resting from his journey here. He's over the flu though, he said he'll be good to go tomorrow." I could always tell when Tifa was hiding something. I decided not to pry into it though, Jessie would already take care of that for me.

"Oh, I can't wait!" she exclaimed. "With his help it's gonna go off without a hitch. I even made sure to program an extra ID car-" "Rafael, come join us." greeted Tifa.

My face immediately snapped to the door. Rafi stood there, in his academy uniform, looking a bit sullen. He still managed to feign a smile though when the rest of the crew said hi. "Sit! I'll get you a bowl of ramen." Tifa went off to the kitchen.

Rafi sat next to Jessie, on the opposite side of the table at the end, conveniently away from me. Great, are we really going to act like children?

"How was school today? Learn anything new?" Jessie leaned over while Wedge hollered at Tifa. "Get me another bowl of ramen yeah? It's just…soo good!" Barrett shook his head; "You better keep up tomorrow yo, or I'm leaving your ass behind." Wedge gulped. Marlene giggled as she played with her chopsticks.

"Kind of…" replied Rafi meekly. "We were on the chapter about Wutai in world geography today." Jessie swooned; "Wow, I always wanted to go to Wutai. It's such a beautiful place."

"It is. Every time I learn about it in class it's always been interesting. I don't get tired of it." I didn't say a thing. I kept to my ramen bowl and decided to opt out of the conversation. I didn't want anyone to start a scene now, so best shut my mouth. Rafi stared at me as Jessie and Wedge began a discussion on travel, waiting for me to say something, but I didn't.

"After all this, I guess this means we'll be able to finally leave Midgar. There are Mako Reactors everywhere, you know." mentioned Wedge. "We'll be outlaws branded by Shinra. We can't stay in one place for too long."

I could feel Rafi's stomach flip over from here. "I'm going to see if Tifa needs help." he smiled weakly. He excused himself to the kitchen.

As soon as he was out of ear shot, both Jessie and Wedge leaned in; "What's going on between you guys?" "Is everything okay? He seems upset.."

"You guys are nosey bastards." I remarked, slurping on another pile of noodles with my tongue.

"He's doesn't like what were doing." Barrett spoke up now, he knew all along that this was going to happen. The bastard. I growled, Barrett gave me a warning stare.

Wedge's eyes widened. "You think so? He's not gonna snitch on us right?" Jessie on the other hand shook her head. "No, I don't think it's like that. I think he's scared for you Biggs."

"Well, yeah. Aren't we all scared? This is going to change history as we kn-" "No, dummy." Jessie cut me off.

"He's scared something bad is going to happen to you. Rafi doesn't care the revolution, Shinra, changing the world, he just cares about _you_." I felt stupid and floored. Really?

"Wow, even an idiot could tell you that." she laughed, I could feel my face blooming a shade of crimson. "Shut the fuck up."

Jessie giggled; "Boys are so dumb."

After Rafi and Tifa came back to the table we all enjoyed some merry conversation, albeit side skirting the tension brewing between Rafi and I. We talked about our dreams, hopes, and fears, until everyone passed out from the alcohol. Marlene fell asleep on the floor while Barret, Jessie, and Wedge slumped into a peaceful slumber onto the table. The only ones awake now were Tifa, Rafi, and myself.

Nobody said anything. Rafi kept quiet while Tifa began to clean up the table. As she picked up several beer bottles and ramen bowls, she gave me an encouraging glare. I knew I had to make my move. Smooth this over before things before it was too late. "Come outside with me for a bit, will ya?" Rafi looked up at me silently.

Outside he crossed his arms; "What is it?" he asked. Ugh, I hated hearing him sound so hopeless.

"I'm sorry. I kept going on and on and on about AVALANCHE and the future, but….I didn't go on about you." I took his hands into mine, Rafi's eyes glazed over,

"I love you Rafael." Just saying his name fully caused tears to slip from Rafi's ducts. He bowed his head and roughly embraced me, his touch was so comforting. Relaxing. It was everything I needed right now before tomorrow. "I do." I whispered. "Even though this is something I have to do, your the only one that matters in all of this. I want to live a happy and free life with you. On this planet, for years and years."

Rafi began to silently sob; "Then why do I feel like I'm never going to see you again?" His sentence was muffled by the fact his head was buried into my chest, but I still understood him.

"Hey, hey…" I pulled him away, lifted his chin with my hand. We both locked eyes. "It'll only be for a short while. As soon as were in the clear I'm coming to you." I playfully slapped his ass (he had such a nice ass); "And you better have it ready for me when I get there." Rafi chuckled, he encircled his arms around my neck. "I love you more than you know. Your my soul mate."

Soul mate…I haven't heard that word from him yet. My mouth stretched into a grin. Wow, it's a weird feeling, feeling _happy_. I'm so used to the anger and disappointment…I think people in general feel that way. Everyone should strive for some slice of happiness in their lives. I know I have mine.

In the back of the 7th Heaven Bar, underneath a short circuiting light post, I bucked my hips into his. His fair skinned back, the angles of the bone…I loved admiring his physique. He'd always get embarrassed, claim that he's being violated. I just think it's sexy.

I grunted as I hooked my gloved hands onto his shoulders, pushing deeper into him. I growled as I slammed into his ass harder and harder. Rafi whimpered and tried to keep quiet, before a moan escaped him.

"Turn around." I released myself from Rafi's inside as he turned over, laying down on a patch of grass. "Out here? But its dirty and col-" But I didn't give him time to finish his sentence, I pushed my dick into his hole, causing Rafi's body to spasm. I squeeze my eyes shut as beads of sweat ran down my face. One thrust, two thrust, three… "Fuck…" I mumbled.

I pressed myself against Rafi harder, entering him farther than before, our chests pressed together as I used my thighs to push forward into him. Just having Rafi like this, it was everything. It wasn't just sex either, it was…Something that transcended just two physical bodies going at it. It was a universal experience. It was spiritual.

"Rafael…" I huffed and growled as I neared my climax. "I…. love you…Arghhh…" I stared into his eyes, he looked so vulnerable. His cheeks flushed red, mouth slightly open, bangs plastered to his face. I leaned down and kissed him roughly as I filled his insides with my love, my force, my passion….

My ideal future.

Denzel blinked. It was rather explicit…and intriguing. He wanted to know more. The boy clicked on another video log.

* * *

Video Entry: _101010775 –_ _December 9th, 2007_

A new window popped into the screen. Bigg's face, charred with ash and sweat, his head nearly occupying the entire window. It looked like he was taking the video on his PHS.

"We did it…We just finished hacking the security codes for the Sector 5 reactor….Phew!" Biggs wiped his forehead and turned the camera to a girl and a big guy in bandanas, red like the one Biggs wore. AVALANCHE's color. They were both sitting down on a couch next to several computer screens. "That security breach on the train almost got us!" he laughed. "Guess your not the best programmer in Midgar Jessie."

"This isn't a time….for your personal video blog!" she huffed. The other boy groaned in pain. "Oh come on, don't tell me your all out of energy? We gotta be ready just in case something happens with Barrett and the others." Biggs seemed to be the only one unfazed by the action.

"I hope Cloud's okay." wondered Jessie. "You really like him, huh?" chided Biggs. The girl's face flushed red; "What's wrong with that?! He's talented! And nice!"

"We have….to…..wait….for the…. call…" The fat one heaved. Denzel could hear Biggs sigh. "I hope it goes well. The minute I get the green light I'm going to meet up with Rafi tonight."

"You really believe that's something you should be thinking about right now? We just blew up _two_ mako reactors in the span of a couple hours." scolded the girl. "Come on Jessie, you and Wedge need to understand. The guy's worried about me. You said so yourself."

"Man, those disguises were so hot…." Wedge wheezed some more and keeled to the floor. "You need to get it together, stop being so dramatic!" Jessie snapped. Biggs turned the camera back to himself.

"I told you Rafi. Everything turned out A-okay!" he gave the lens a cheesy smile and a thumbs up.

_RING RING_! It sounded like a PHS ringing. "Turn that off Biggs! Barrett's calling!" yelled Jessie from the back. "See you soon baby." he grinned before the screen went black. _Transmission end_.

Denzel clicked onto the next one. This one didn't have a date.

* * *

Video Entry: _101010776 –_ _DATA CORRUPTED, DATE UNKNOWN_

Biggs again, holding the camera to his face. The image constantly shook, it looked like he was running.

"I don't know what's going to happen. Tifa called us, apparently Shinra plans to destroy the support pillar for Sector 7 and drop the plate on the slums. You know what that means?" he panted.

The image went to the ground, static browns, a dull green light, Denzel couldn't make of the constantly shifting video.

"Turn that fucking camera off!" boomed Barrett's voice in the background.

"Were meeting up with the rest of the crew….We have to stop them." _BRRRRTTTT_ – The sounds of a flurrying machine gun echoed through the monitor speaker.

The video went back to Biggs' face, blurry and constantly moving. "Rafi, I don't know when were…going to see each other again…Or if we'll even make it out of this thing alive…" he huffed.

"But I love you. Your my soul mate too…Please be safe…" Biggs smile was warm. BRRRRRRTTTTT – The bullet sounds thundered.

"I suggest you turn the other way, if you value your lives." The irritating blare of a megaphone can be heard now. "Anyone comes even one step closer kill 'em!" It was the voice of a sleazy man, cocky and over confident. Denzel could hear the wisp of helicopter blades as the camera turned down to the ground, all he could see now was the side of a boot.

"Just try it you Shinra muthafuckas!" Barrett again, more bullets, a blast of fire somewhere, and then black…. _Transmission end_.

Denzel was floored. It was clear that last video was hours…No, most likely mere _minutes_ before the plate fell. The boy felt a dull ache in his heart. Five years may have passed, but the memory could never remained buried. Not after all the tragedy.

His hand tightened into a fist. He wished he was old enough to help AVALANCHE do something about what happened. Maybe if they had more man power at that exact moment…

No, no use fighting the what if's and but's and could haves. If Cloud wasn't enough to stop it then nothing could have. Denzel inhaled sharply, he clicked the mouse a few times and backed up the files onto the computer. Looking through the folders, the disk appeared to have far more content; Maps, strategies, advanced coding, hacking programs, and blueprints for explosives…The bombs that took out the mako reactors?

Denzel hid the files and ejected the disc, hiding it underneath a loose floorboard in his room. He decided he wouldn't tell Barrett or Tifa or even Cloud about what he found. He wanted to study everything this Biggs guy had to offer him, even though he might not be around anymore to teach or explain things. Denzel knew he was capable of learning on his own.

Maybe this way he could help somehow. Make the world a better place and prevent anything like the plate falling from happening ever again.

"Rest in peace Biggs." _CLUNK_ – was the sound as he pushed the floorboard back into place.


	22. no sleep

_[from the perspective of Kira...]_

* * *

Eavesdropping. Spying. It's a speciality of mine, a skill I've spent many years perfecting. Maybe that's not something to be proud of, and I try not to use it recklessly. But hey, sometimes I don't even mean to. Most of the time I'm just at the right place at the right time.

Like the other night when I caught Rufus and Rafael fucking against a back alley wall by the Pearly Gates Grill. They'd been having a secret relationship for months, and I wasn't the type to burst anyone's bubble. Even though c'mon, who were they fooling? Not anyone in our circle. But knowing Rufus, he'd insisted that it was 'better' to keep their status low key. The President was all about appearances after all, and his bisexuality wasn't something he liked to share with the public. Unless of course it involved a woman. Tch. What a moron.

We all have our secrets though. Some of them more well kept than others. The reason I was even in their vicinity was 'cause of _my_little secret. My dealer lived in a posh loft apartment next door. I was out on his balcony for a smoke when I caught them in the act. Nice little bird's eye view. I smirked and decided it was best to go back inside to smoke.

"Hey, ya mind?" I motioned to Andre with my cigarette. "It's a little intense out there."

"Just this once," he said with tweak of his eyebrow. "What's going on?"

"I just caught two of my friends fucking up against a wall."

"_Really_?!" He made a dash for the window.

"Well don't go _look_!"

"How can I resist? If they're in such a public setting, what do they expect?" He peered through the curtains. "Damn. You're right, it is intense."

Andre returned to the table where he was measuring out my 8-ball. Honestly, my blow usage had gone up in the last few months. I could focus and get more work done and was far better at controlling (ie. numbing) my emotions. But unlike Rufus, I was able to keep my secret life just that – a secret. No one had seemed to catch on, not even Vincent. The only person that would be able to tell almost immediately… wasn't around at the moment.

I know it seems like I'm being hypocritical. Scold Ilia for starting an opium den and preach my inability to be involved, only to turn around and buy my own drugs. But covert personal usage is different than a full blown establishment. It was better this way for everyone.

"So, how's business?" I asked as Andre silently went about his task.

"Oh it's great. Just like the party scene here." He smiled.

Andre had recently relocated here from Costa del Sol. That's where the majority of his connections were as far as supply. He dealt in coke and pot, with the occasional come up on good molly.

"Good." I smiled, more to myself than to him. I felt a sense of pride that people were enjoying themselves in my city.

"Alright," he said, standing up. He handed me the sack with a satisfied grin. "Here ya go. Until next time, Kira."

"Of course, thanks man." With a quick handshake and hug, I left.

* * *

When I arrived home I poured myself a little drink and cut myself a little line. It was gonna be a long night of going over some city planning, catching up on emails from Steven Lowe and his friends down South, and working on the schematics for Tian Tan's first fashion week coming up in February. New Year's wasn't far away and I wanted to be all caught up on work for the celebration so I could party worry free.

But first, I was gonna give Rufus a call. I sat on the window ledge in my office and dialed his number.

He answered on the third ring. "Kira. How lovely to hear from you… even if it is late."

"You're not busy are you? Don't have any _company_ or anything?" I knew he could tell something was up by the tone of my voice.

"Hm. No. Just little old me. What's going on?"

"Say, what time is it there in Midgar? I always forget what the exact time difference is."

"It's… 10am…"

"Mmm yea, that is rather _late_ to call, isn't it?"

"I meant late on your end." His voice was monotone now, not his usual ostentatious self. He already knew I knew he was lying.

"Oh _please_. How long ya been in Wutai?"

"…Only since this morning, I had some business… I was going to call you-"

"Oh save it, Rufus. The only person you'd have business with here is _me_. I quite think that this visit is for _pleasure_."

He sighed. "What are getting at, Kira?"

"I saw you tonight."

"Oh. Well. There was something I needed to discuss with Rafael about the Biggs… an event I-"

"I said, save it. I'm not an idiot. Ya know, I figured out that you an' Rafael were seeing each other almost immediately. Most of us know, just all of us are too decent to call you out on your shit." But the alcohol and blow were helping me tonight, not to mention it had gone too far.

Despite it all Rufus let out one of his arrogant chuckles. "Kira, Rafael and I are not-"

"I saw you _fucking_ him. Outside the Pearly Gates."

"…_You saw that.._."

"Yes. Briefly. It's not like I stayed around to watch, I'm not a pervert. Though I advise if you're trying to keep something secret, ya find a more private place to do it."

He huffed on the other end of the line. "Ok, so you know my secret. What kind of point are you trying to make with this confrontation? You plan to sell the story to the tabloids or something?"

I rolled my eyes despite the fact he couldn't see me. "Oh fuckin' please. Like I would _do_ that. This is about Rafael and his feelings. He thinks I don't see it, but I can tell something is upsetting him. And I've kept my mouth shut, but I can't keep it shut anymore. I always knew his angst had something to do with you. It's not fair to keep him hidden away like you're ashamed. Especially when it has nothing to do with _him_ and everything to do with _you_!"

"Kira, my personal life is none of the world's business! I don't have to share a thing."

"You're right, it's not anyone's business. But you have no problem taking out girls and showing them off, so why not him? Especially since I'm sure you care more about him than any of the bimbos I see you parading around. In the end, you're just selfish. And I think you need to take a long look at yourself and think about what you're dong to someone else simply to protect your own self-righteous image."

"Are you done now?" he hissed. If one thing was certain, Rufus hated being lectured. His pride could never admit to knowing someone else was right.

"Yea. I'm done. Just think about it. What harm would it really do as opposed to the happiness it could bring?"

"… Of course." His tone was serious and business like. He gave a clipped 'goodnight' before hanging up.

* * *

Several days later I rolled into the Biggs. I had a morning massage appointment, much needed time to myself for de-stressing. I had broken the news to Vincent that Reno was returning for NYE and he was definitely sulking. The sex had slowed down since. Goodbye stress relief…

Rafael was here with his girls rehearsing for the NYE show. I saw him downstairs leaving the kitchen with a tray of refreshments for the girls – must be break time. Trailing close behind him was a new girl… that wasn't new to me.

Zoe. Ilin.

Oh no. Oh _hell_ no. What the fuck was _she_ doing here?! I threw my bag down on the closest table and marched over to them, interrupting their trek to the elevator.

"Oh, hi Kira!" Rafael greeted me with his usual warmth.

Zoe looked wide eyed and scared. As she should be.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing here?"

"Oh my gosh…" gasped Rafael.

"Um. Hi Kira! I work here… Rafael just hired me."

"Ohhhh. _My_ gods. Rafael, can I speak with you please? In private."

"Of course… Zoe, will you please take everything to the girls."

"Sure, boss." She was cheerful with him and took the tray he carried, eager to escape.

Rafael followed me to the booth where I'd set my belongings. My heart was pounding and I felt like was blushing a shade of red in fury. Jaw was tight with anger, I sat down and breathed, trying to calm myself. I motioned over to the bartender to fetch me my usual.

"So… I'm guessing you know her?" Rafael asked nervously. I could tell he was concerned. I don't think he had every really seen me that furious before.

"Oh yea. Back in Midgar. It was many years ago."

"What happened?"

"It's not important. What matters is that you hired someone without consulting me first."

Rafael blinked. I could tell he was taken aback. "Kira, I've hired other girls without telling you and it was never an issue. I think this is just because you two have a past. Now, I'm forever grateful for all you've done for me. Truly. I wouldn't be here without you, and you're my friend. But this is _my_ establishment, and I reserve the right to run it how I see fit. I'm totally willing to hear you out and come to some sort of reasonable decision regarding Zoe, but I can't do that unless you tell me what your problem is with this girl."

I sighed. He was right. I was blinded by emotions and the only way I could get a grasp on the situation was to use the trump card of my authority. That was no way to treat my friend… I sat quiet for a moment, trying to form coherent thoughts of what I was gonna say. A waitress set my drink down in front of me and I took a long swig. Helpful.

"It was… back in 2003. Reno and I hadn't been together long, maybe six or seven months. Zoe had been my friend since our senior year of high school. Her and her little brother Iggy. And Zoe… had a really bad heroin problem on and off. And I was always there to pick up the pieces and help out. So finally she had gotten clean after this really bad episode of overdosing and nearly dying. And a few months after that… I found her fucking Reno, smacked outta her mind. He had been feeding her heroin and keeping her around on the side… like some sorta… fucked up power trip."

"Oh my gods…" Rafael's mouth gaped open. "That's… _horrifying_. Why would he do that?!"

"Because Reno was a real mess when he was young. Just… dealing with a lot of… fucked up issues. I won't get into the details, but as you can see they caused a lotta trouble at the time. We broke up for a few months, and Zoe and I had a falling out. Obviously. She went off to rehab and I never heard from her again. And I never wanted to."

"Holy shit, Kira. That is one of the most fucked up stories I've ever heard. I'm sorry you had to go through that, I understand why you'd be upset with her."

I nodded and took another sip of my drink. "I didn't think I'd ever see her again. This is horrible to admit, but I'd hope she'd died during the Meteor crisis."

Rafael grabbed my hand and gave me an knowing look. "Hey, it's ok. We all think thoughts like that sometimes. I understand more than anyone revenge and wanting your past to just disappear…"

"Thanks for understanding, Rafi."

"Of course. I totally get why you freaked out when you saw her. Clearly it brought up some really bad memories. But… you forgave Reno for what he did. So… maybe try to forgive her?"

I curled my lip and scowled. "She was one of my best friends and she fucked my boyfriend, knowing full well what she was doing. Reno… like I said, he was dealing with some fucked up issues. But she was just being weak."

"You're right. She was being weak. But that happens with addicts. Sounds like she was dealing with some fucked up issues too."

"… And what makes you think she won't bring those issues here?"

"Well. That's a risk. But it's been ten years, don't you think she's grown? She doesn't seem like she's on drugs."

"Hah! That's Zoe. Everything seems normal until it's too late and she's fucked everything to hell. I know you have a soft spot for these girls, and you think everyone deserves a chance. But be careful, Rafi. I don't want her causing any harm."

"Hmm." He absently stroked his fingers across his chin and lips in thought. "Well, all the girls are on a 90 day probation period anyway. How about we try that out and if you are still super uncomfortable I'll let her go?"

It was only fair. No matter my feelings towards her, I didn't want to be a tyrant primadonna that couldn't get over a grudge. It had been ten years after all. Rafael was right – I had given Reno a second chance so I supposed I owed that to Zoe. But I still didn't wanna be around the little trick.

I sighed deeply. "Ok. Fine. Just keep her away from me though, I'm not in the mood to hear any half-hearted apology or whatnot." I stood up. "I better get to my massage. Please, keep an extra close eye on her."

Rafael nodded his head with a respectful smile. "You got it."

* * *

"Hey, babes," I swung open the front door to the guest house Jiro occupied without really thinking anything of it. "What do ya – oh."

There he was. My little brother flat on his back with that blonde idiot Cherry perched nimbly atop, riding him like he was some kinda fuckin' stallion. Pfft. Gods, the sound of her voice annoyed me even now.

"Shit! Fuckin' _knock_, Kira!" he snapped.

I laughed as I watched him gracelessly push her off and fumble for a random throw pillow to cover himself.

"Damn, Jiro. In the middle of the day, huh…"

"Oh, like I dun see you an' Vincent goin' at it at two o'clock on a Tuesday, right by the pool… which I gotta _very_ good view of from 'ere! Shit, at least I got the courtesy to go inside!"

"Well. It's _my_ home, so I'll do what I like."

"_Oh my gods… oh my gods_," Cherry whispered to herself as she quickly dressed.

"Cherry. Please, could ya give my brother and I some privacy." I ordered.

"I need to get back to the Biggs anyway. Call me later, Jiro?"

He gave her a nod that easily could've been interpreted as a yes. But I knew that nod. It was noncommittal and vague, and I could tell he was done with the girl. Cherry left in a hurry, slamming the door behind her in a sloppy rush.

"So what is it? Whaddya barge in 'ere for?" he slipped on his pair of ratty old denim shorts and stood, reaching for a cigarette on the coffee table.

I held up the two dresses I had in each hand. "What do ya think? Which of these two dresses?"

"Oooooh no! No no no! That is _not_ what ya jus' did! Ya did _not_ jus' interrupt my afternoon _fuck_ for fashion advice, Ki. Pfft!" he blew out a cloud of smoke and rolled his eyes, whispering in reluctance, "…._The white one_."

"Thanks! I was leaning in that direction too."

"Where're Ilia an' Nami to help ya wit' all that?"

"They're out." I came to sit by him on the sofa and stole one of his cigarettes.

"An' Vince?"

"He's been avoiding me since he heard Reno was coming back to town."

"Ah. Trouble in paradise, sis?"

I rolled my eyes and shrugged. "He knew from the beginning this was all going to be temporary. Just a fling."

"Oh yea? Ya sure bout that?"

"I made it _very_ clear."

"Yea, maybe ya did. But the mind an' the emotions aren't always on the same team, ya know what I'm sayin'? I dun think ya quite get what ya do to men, sis. I've seen it all growin' up, an' I still see it now. Guys lookin' at ya all googily eyed, an' you either wavin' 'em away with your hand like a princess, or playin' with 'em as long as ya please."

"What are ya tryin' to say?"

"Women like you've got power. So dun be surprised when a guy like Vince ends up wantin' to be more than your side dish."

"Tch. If he had any thought in his head that he'd be more, he clearly doesn't understand me or the relationship I have with Reno. I care for Vincent and we had a great time together, but that's it. Reno's my husband and everything to me. Vincent will get over it, he's a big boy."

Jiro snickered. "There's that Ruiz blood talkin' – forgettin' that not e'rybody is as resilient as we are. Not e'ryone is as free-wheelin' as you or me. Or Reno. Or even Ilia an' Tseng for that matter."

"Pfft. I know. And you're one to point a finger anyway. _Cherry?_ I mean, I get it. She looks like Leena. But that girl has clingy written all over her."

Jiro curled his lip. "I can 'andle my own shit."

"Oh yea? Does Yuffie know?"

"Tch. Whaddya mean?"

"I know you two've been hooking up."

"Yea? So? We 'ook up sometimes, that dun mean I'm 'er boyfriend all a sudden."

"Ok, whatever – not my business. But she's my friend, so do _not_ fuckin' hurt her. I know how she is. She's kind of intense when it comes to… well, everything. So, just try an' be a decent guy and at least let her know if you're wanting to slut it up. You _don't_ wanna mess with her."

"Yea yea yea… a'right a'right." He shrugged me off. "So. Anythin' else, or can I go rub one out now that ya ruined my fun?"

"Uuggh. You're so gross." I rolled my eyes.

He gave me a lopsided grin.

"Just be ready on time and look nice, ok? It's an important night."

* * *

Reno was returning. Elated was an understatement. My heart was pounding and I couldn't stop smiling.

I put on the last touches of my make up and slipped on a pair of white strappy heels to match my dress. Floor length and simple with two slits up the side. I threw on my grey fur coat and was ready.

I exited my bedroom and shut the door behind me, making my way down the hall to Vincent's room. I knocked on the door, but there was no response after an extended moment. I knocked once more before deciding to let myself in.

"…Vincent? You ready?"

The room was empty. Silent. And not just in a way that it wasn't occupied at the moment. Looking around, I noticed the bed was immaculately made and everything was clean. It looked as if no one had been living in it for the past three months. An uneasy feeling gripped me. Something was definitely different.

There was a folded piece of paper on the nightstand. I didn't really have to open it to know what it said, but of course I did anyways.

_Kira –_

_It is time I took my leave. With Reno returning, I'm sure I would be a third wheel in the welcome party._

_I cherish these months we've had together. It is with great regret that I go, but please understand my jealousy will pass. I am happy that you are being reunited with your great love._

_Please know that I am here for you in whatever your needs may be._

_You're quite a woman, Kira Ruiz._

_Yours,_

_V.V. _

I smiled fondly then frowned. I wished I could kiss him one last time. But this was his way, slipping away without a proper goodbye. And there was something about that that I respected. Fixing my expression and calming my emotions, I blinked my eyes until the unfallen tears vanished. The excitement of the night was already replacing any feelings of sorrow.

Jiro was right. My resilience was epic.

* * *

New Years Eve. So here's how it went down.

Nami was late to meet my drunk ass. I lingered alone at the bar on the 3rd floor of the Biggs, sipping mezcal cocktails and doing key bumps from my long nails. Everyone else was paired up. Ilia with Tseng, Rufus with Cherry of all people (a hired escort I'm sure), Jiro with Yuffie (which got several huffy, annoyed glances from Cherry). Damon was off somewhere smoking a joint I'm sure. I spotted Rafael juggling his time between running his business and mingling with various guests and friends. He was sucha good host. I knew he was trying to enjoy the evening, but saw a few evil eyes directed Rufus's way.

Reno… was yet to arrive.

When Nami finally showed it was a great distraction. More blow and drinks, dancing and joking with my bestie in a world of our own. It wasn't until just before midnight that I was sorely reminded that my dear husband was nowhere in sight.

The countdown began and I sulked. Anger and sadness swirled inside me. I could not fucking believe him.

It wasn't until the last second of 2012 that I felt his familiar grip, whirling me around to meet his lips and embrace. Good gods how he loved to fuck with me. That wicked, mischievous grin he wore elicited a tantrum that ended in ecstatic giggles. I couldn't help but love him no matter how much of a hard time he gave me. It was so easy for him to have me grinning and laughing like a fool.

We only lasted another half hour. A drink and bit of dancing, a peek at the fireworks – before we snuck away.

* * *

Reno cradled me from behind in our bed, tangled in sheets, his fingers tracing shapes across my skin. I wove my fingers through his thick hair. We gazed out the windows, watching a misty rain that had just began to fall. Being with him like this – naked skin on skin, together in the dark with only the lights streaming in from outdoors to illuminate us – triggered a sense of peace and belonging I hadn't felt in too long.

"This is our bed now. Our room… our house," I nuzzled against him as I spoke.

"Mmmmhmm…" He trailed off and I could tell he was more focused on the feel of my body against his than the words coming outta my mouth. He entwined his hands in mine, kissing my palms.

"Ya know… I wasn't sure we'd ever get back together."

He turned me around to face him, brushing hair out of my face. "Why not?"

"After everything that happened we became so distant… Our marriage reduced to a fucking business arrangement."

He exhaled a quiet chuckle. "That's not completely true. We did spend _some_ time together, and we still fucked…" There was that wicked grin.

"Yea but, ya can't really call that chaotic mess a marriage."

"…Yea. You're right." He sighed. "But that's all over now. Why ya bringin' it up?"

I smiled, my hands caressed his face, savoring every texture of skin and stubble. His green eyes glowed back at me with a lazy tenderness. I had missed that sincere, puppy dog look he used to give me when we were alone together. "No reason, baby. I'm just happy to have you back again." I kissed him, my heart grew. His embrace was engulfing; I melted.

"I always knew we'd get back together," he whispered. "I wasn't gonna let ya go, baby. Ya know I never give up when there's something I want…" He grinned and teased me with a delicate touch against my breasts. "You're… Mine…"

He pulled me into him, consuming my mouth with his, a fulfilled sigh and moan. I opened to him, my emotions spilling over me. In a way it felt almost as if he was reacquainting himself with me. It's not like Reno and I ever had trouble with familiarity, but the hook ups of the past few years had been erotic and passionate. Satisfying – but it had been a long time since we had given ourselves emotional permission to be languid and intimate and sensual.

"I… can't… lose you… again," I whimpered.

"You won't."

He covered my mouth with his, an adoring rhythm. The gaze in his eyes spoke of love and devotion. Desire.

"So," I said, pulling away. "Everything went smoothly in Gongaga?"

He wasn't having it though. "Course, baby…" His lips never left my skin, his hands still roamed my body, trying to distract me from any kind of serious talk.

"What was it like?"

"Hmm. I don't wanna talk bout that right now. I jus' wanna enjoy you."

"But I-"

"Shhh. No buts." He quieted me with his thumb against my lips, lifting me up and guiding himself inside me. I gasped with pleasure at the pressure of him spreading me open, sliding into me inch by inch. He grinned at my response. "Mmmmm you are so _tight_, baby." He growled and held me to him possessively.

I giggled.

"Mmm… Keep gigglin' like that…"

* * *

"You're the only one up right now?" I stood on the Northwestern deck that looked upon the hills and cliffs and morning fog. Smoking on a cigarette with dark circles under my eyes and a glass of water.

"Mmm. I guess," Damon mumbled.

"Happy New Year," I grumbled.

"Happy New Year…"

"So," I said in my morning rasp, as he lit a cig of his own. "Who's this new… 'poker player' in town? You're being way to evasive for my tastes."

"Hah! You never give up do you, Kiki? Why don't ya just let us do our jobs and you do yours?" He smirked, that brilliant hue of smoke encircling his immaculate jawbone.

I furrowed my brows. "We're all on the same team. Reno and Shinra and Reeve've got their own channels. And you got yours. And yet nobody seems to be keen on tellin' me shit these days!"

"Everyone's just trying to protect you. And not stress ya out more so than you already are."

"Well can't all of you see that it stresses me out even more not knowing?!" I was feeling particularly haughty this morning. New year's day and I was ready to sink my teeth into it. All the people closest to me knew what a control freak I could be, the need to have my hands in everything. Every juicy detail. I hated missing out.

"Relax, girl. It's too early to get all worked up."

I took a deep breath. "I'm relaxed."

He was in no rush to communicate though. He continued to puff away, enjoying his smoke with swag and leisure before speaking, "Look. I know you want to be informed. But please let me do what I do best and I will clue you in when the time is right. Can you please just trust me?"

I let out a long exhale. Damon was even more stubborn than Reno. "You know I trust you."

"Just be patient, Kiki."

A nostalgic smile formed on my lips. "You're the only one who still calls me that."

"Oh yea?" His smile was mildly triumphant. "I always thought that name fit you."

"So did Reno… when we first met."

Damon gave me a profound look. "How are you two?"

I couldn't help but bubble with giddiness. "_So good_."

"Hmm. It's 'bout time." He snubbed out his smoke and turned to go back inside. "Gonna nap a bit longer. See ya at breakfast?"

"Yea."

"Cool. Lookin' forward to catching up with Reno."

I crawled back into bed. The sensation of the luxe sheets and pillows, the dim dusk light breaking though the gauzy curtains that draped over our bed was dreamy and exotic. I let myself burrow into Reno's bare body and he stirred. He stretched and yawned, letting out his lazy morning growls. His sleepy eyes found mine and he held me, kissing me good morning without speaking a syllable.

He was pulling off my kimono, his hands roaming my skin, cupping my breasts then hips as he devoured my mouth. His body moved downwards to suck every bit of my flesh as he crushed me to him. His hand reached down to part my legs and I felt his fingers slowly explore the heat between my thighs.

It was morning and we usually awoke with immediate lust. Within moments we were merged into one. Not even a word spoken between us yet. This was my favorite way to start the day.

* * *

We stumbled into the kitchen looking pleasantly disheveled with a dazed afterglow. Everyone was up as it was pretty late by now.

"Well, if it isn't the two lovebirds. Sleep well?" Jiro smirked. Yuffie was perched on his lap looking quite happy. She squinted her eyes and puckered her lips, making kissy sounds at us before she started giggling.

"Wasn't much sleepin' goin' on. I was balls deep in your sister," Reno deadpanned, ruffling Yuffie's hair as he passed the couple on his way to the fridge.

She swatted him away. "Ew! You're so fucking crass, turkey!"

"Just answerin' his question, princess."

I rolled my eyes as Reno drank directly from the carton of orange juice. I sighed, coming to join him as I snatched the container away and motioned to where the glasses were. He was definitely already comfortable about this being his home.

"Well no one wants to hear anything relating to your balls."

"I agree," Tseng spoke up from where he sat, Ilia snuggled up on the stool next to him.

"Aw, this is so cute!" Ilia beamed, giving one of her amused grins and a snort. "Everyone together, talking shit."

"Heart-warming," I joked. "Now tell me – were you guys all waiting for me to get up an' make breakfast? I see no one is eating…"

"Well… we were hopin' you'd make those fruity pancakes ya make so well, sis," Jiro smiled sheepishly.

"And bacon," Damon chimed in from where he was working on his laptop, not glancing up from the screen.

"And sausage!" Yuffie added.

"Bacon _and_ sausage?" I raised a brow.

"I love sausage!" she whined.

"_I bet you do_," Reno mumbled. She glared.

I snickered. "Alright, it'll be my new year's gift to everyone. I'll make pancakes. And bacon, _and_ sausage."

Yuffie fist pumped and chanted the word yes a few times. Everyone else let out a collective sigh of pleasure and Ilia stood to help me. She squeezed me around the shoulders and pulled me into an embrace, I smiled and let myself relax.

"You look so happy," she spoke as the gathering around us fell into a comfortable murmur of chatter and laughter.

"I am," I nodded in return.

She kissed me on the cheek and went to start gathering ingredients from the cupboards and fridge. I looked around the room at everyone and felt this was the closest thing to family I had, and what an odd group we were.

My eye caught Tseng, observing me with a contained smile upon his lips. Our gazes locked for a few moments and I walked over to him.

He stood and I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled me in for an embrace. Suddenly the kitchen was quiet, save for the sound of silverware hitting the tile floor that Ilia dropped in shock.

"Thank you," I told him. "For bringing him back safe."

"My pleasure."

The silence was broken by Reno clapping hands. "Awwwww! Fuckin' finally! Now – kisssss and make up!"

Tseng and I gave him a death glare and rolled our eyes.

"Haha! Aw! They even rolled their eyes in unison!" Ilia giggled.

"Don't encourage him."

Everyone went back to what they were doing, but I turned to Tseng and gave him another hug. "I'm sorry for being a bitch."

He closed his eyes with a faint smile. "I expected it from you."

"I don't trust easily."

"I know."

"You better not fuck up with Ilia or I will have your fucking head."

"Kira… I will never make the same mistake of abandoning her again."

I nodded, pulling away. But he grabbed my hand before I could go join Ilia again.

"And Reno won't do the same to you again either."

"I know."

* * *

After breakfast and a soak in the hot tub, Reno and I drifted off to bed for a nap. Needed to catch up on the hours of sleep we missed last night. When I awoke, I found myself alone.

No bother. I had some emails to catch up on. I wandered into my office… only to find the door locked. What. The. Fuck. This was _my _office. I'm sure Reno was using it – fine – but I could not _wait_ for him to have his own set up on the far west side of the property.

Well whatever. I stood at the door and listened to the mumble of voices inside.

"They're nowhere near the level Shinra is at in materia research and development," it was Reno who spoke. "But that's the direction they're heading in. It was not a friendly attitude towards ReKi energy… the WRO… Tian Tan. President Godan has got everyone convinced that Kira's the enemy. Paintin' her as some sorta tyrant, selfishly takin' all for herself while the people of Wutai suffer."

"Nothing could be further from the truth…" Tseng mused. "Why all the propaganda?"

"Godan's gotta god complex . She controls all information leaving and entering the area. She's jealous of not only Kira's success, but the adoration from the public. She wants it all for herself."

So the president of Godan was a woman…

"Is Kira in danger?" Damon asked.

"Oh, absolutely." My heart leapt in my throat when I heard Reno's convinced comment. "'S why I cut my assignment short and sent in Rude. I'm not leaving her side."

"Vincent and I had things covered," Damon assured.

"Yea, I know. But she's _my_ wife. I wasn't gonna let you guys take all the cred."

Tseng and Damon chuckled.

"I hear Vincent was taking quite a bit of the… 'cred.'" Tseng's voice was thick with suggestion.

My stomach churned. I hadn't mentioned that to Reno yet, and I wanted to be the one to tell him. Not his colleagues.

"Yea, I know all about it," Reno shrugged it off. "Not important. She needed the distraction."

"And when you say Kira's in danger, do you have evidence to back that up?"

"Not really… it's just my gut. I wasn't able to work my way up far enough in their security to gain access to top secret information. But trust me, that Godan bitch has got something planned."

"Well," Tseng sighed. "Hopefully Rude can squeeze more info. Until then, I'm glad you followed your intuition. I don't doubt Kira needs you here with her."

I could hear Reno stand up, his chair scooting on the ground. "Oh, there is nothing more I want than to be here with her. Danger may be lurking, but I ain't scared." I heard a lighter flick as I'm sure he lit a cigarette. "We're gonna have the time of our lives. Kick ass and chew bubble gum."


	23. garde le pour toi

_[from the perspective of Tseng...]_

* * *

The Den was taking shape beautifully. The face of the property had been completed for the most part – Ilia stressed the importance of privacy, and having the gates down until the end would jeopardize the image. As you approach the main entrance, there is a grand wrought iron gate to greet you. Of course, we have advanced security systems in place to help weed out unwelcomed guests; nothing less than the best should be expected. The passage to the Den was lead by a plantation style driveway, lined with cercis canadensis trees – Their strong dark brown bark contrasting with the magenta pink colored blooms were almost hypnotic in the spring. Simple and organic. We didn't need acres of landscaping done to draw attention.

No, it should speak for itself.

Getting closer, the circular driveway and green shrubbery lead up to large red double doors. The structure of the building greatly influenced by ancient Wutaian siheyuan housing architectures – with a modern flare. A rustic sepia paint on the walls – more simplicity on the outside.

I heard the wheels of a vehicle pulling in from behind me, a door opening and gasps following suite.

"Kira, thank you for coming."

"Holy fuck Tseng, this place is amazing!" Kira was excited – covering her mouth as she looked around in amazement. I suppose she hadn't been to the property in some time to see the progress.

"There's still a long way to go, but it's getting there." I smiled softly. "Come, I'll give you a small tour… They are still working on the structure, but the first half of the building is mostly complete." I held out my arm for her to hold, making her step back with uncertainty in response.

I laughed, "Despite what you may think, I still have some manners…"

She sucked her teeth and grabbed my arm. "I'm still getting used to the idea of not hating you.. Give me a minute to absorb it, ok?"

I lead her through the entrance doors and into the spacious foyer where the Wutaian influence continued to reign heavily on the set up. With construction still underway though, a lot of the furniture pieces already brought in were still draped over with plastic sheets. The natural light feeding in through the ceiling and walkways were enough to illuminate our surroundings.

"My gods Tseng.. You guys are really outdoing yourselves. I didn't expect it to come out like this." I felt her squeeze my arm as she beamed.

"We wanted to honor Wutai's traditions – it's an important place for Ilia." I pointed near the entrance to draw attention to a golden door off the left when you initially walk in. "This golden entryway – it's typically the space reserved for service staff, but we've converted it to the restricted members area constructed almost as its own entity within the building, and it wraps around the western corner."

"Where are the gallery spaces?"

"Beyond the archway over there," I pointed to the opening in the back of the foyer, passed the furniture and conversational spaces. "Since it's in a courtyard style layout, each section will have its own form of entertainment. From dining to music to gardening and artwork – Ilia wants people to feel calm when they are here."

"This is incredible.." She turned to me then, her warm smile turning into an amused smirk. "So, what did you call me out here for? I'm pretty sure you don't work in real estate, even though your tour was a little convincing."

"Always know how to ruin a good moment, don't ya?" I chuckled, moving over to one of the sectionals and removing the plastic cover so that we could sit in the dimly lit space.

Kira sat with her lips pursed. It was apparent that she was annoyed by my comment.

"Listen, I know that you dislike me for certain reas-"

"You bet your ass I do, and very fucking valid reasons, if we are being candid."

"Anyways – Ilia and my relationship have been through rough times, and I'm not going to apologize or justify anything to you. It's none of your business."

She sat back, crossing her arms with an annoyed frown on her face.

I sighed.

"I'm not going to pour my heart out to you, or even beg you. I do however want to sincerely build a friendship with you, and as an added bonus, please my wife."

I watched her as she seemed to mull over the idea. We've been through a shit storm of events together. More alike than either of us would like to admit to. Ilia always saw it though, but definitely a reason for us clashing so hard.

It struck me as odd, however, how loud Kira's facial expressions were speaking instead of her mouth. I suppose in some way it was her white flag to surrender.

"As long as you keep your shit together and stop fucking it up. Do you know how much work it is to pick Ilia back up?"

"Oh? The pot calling the kettle black. I could say the same for your own cruelty. To make a man like Reno fall apart in a puddle of emotions on several occasions." I sat back into my seat, crossing my legs slowly. "We may do the job of jobs that no one else can stand doing, but it doesn't make us shells."

She was taken aback by the comment. "I..What are you talking about?"

"Meeting both of you; it's had a profound impact on our singular lives. We're not perfect. Loyalty is our strongest trait, but you've both modified that trait in your own way. We aren't ghosts anymore."

"I can hardly imagine a playboy like Reno ever being a ghost." She laughed, sitting forward again. "I know him better than anyone else."

"I'm not claiming that you don't… The Bagrisk of cosmo canyon build tight knit groups that they spend their entire lives with. It's possible to domesticate them to a degree through hard work and diligence, but they will never lose their animalistic instincts or their ethereal connections.. and nothing outside of their clan will know them better."

We sat there in silence as minutes passed by. She was looking down, taking it all in. I didn't want to push her.

"If you'll excuse me. I wanted to show you the property and have a little chat, but I have an important obligation that I must attend to.. I didn't mean to upset you though."

She looked over to me, shaking her head side to side. "I know.. Thanks for inviting me out here. I have a quick meeting I should be getting to as well.."

We stood to say our goodbyes. It felt strange to embrace her. Something we'd never done in the past. All of these years spent in each other's lives, and we were just now warming up.

As Kira left, Damon stepped out from behind a patrician by the bar countertop, softly whistling a tune. Reminded me of the chocobo races at the Gold Saucer.. One of those catchy sounds you can't get out of your head.

"That was a very personal conversation, even for you…"

I closed my eyes, nodding my head, "I had to be sincere."

"No joke, eh?" I could hear him jump over the sectional to take a seat. Opening my eyes to give him a stern stare, he lifted his hands apologetically. "Are we going to talk about the counterfeiting issue going on? I can take care of it quietly…"

"No, I don't want you to make any sudden moves yet. I'd like to get more intel from Elena beforehand."

"Elena?" Damon scoffed, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. He took a long puff, blowing the smoke upwards in an effort to not blow it in my face.

"She's good at talking to people. You think Rude would do a better job?"

We both laughed together. Nothing against Rude and his work, but being a snoop was not one of his strongest abilities. He was a hard worker, traits that would secure him a higher position on the mission due to his focus – I just pray to Shiva that he doesn't clam up.

"Ya still having the business meeting at the Biggs?"

"Yes, and I should probably be on my way now." We stood up, Damon taking another drag as he looked around.

"Fancy place ya guys got here… "

"Ilia is making a section just for you."

"No shit?" He licked his index and thumb before using them to put out the small ember of his cigarette. He didn't even flinch in response. "You guys always know how to make a man blush."

This guy was a real comedian.

* * *

I reserved one of the private rooms for our get together. Asked Rafael to keep it unlisted – I didn't want anyone to bother us. I watched Ilia as she helped Cherry set up the table in the center of the room. We were expecting company for a casual lunch. Work was tiresome, and relaxation greatly needed. Reno, Elena, and Rufus. I knew it may not bode well with Kira to not invite her.. But it's a chance worth taking and consequences Reno would have to deal with.

Ilia smiled as she placed down plates around the table, adjusting utensils and glasses so that they were proper in their placement. She could be a real housewife sometimes when she wanted to be. She always did have a way of making me remember things.

The coffee shop wasn't the first time I met her. It was the first encounter where we spoke and interacted, but I met her long before that day.

Fate. The joker of the cosmos. There's no rules to define the conditions it's used in. It's a win all play we have no business disputing. The first time I saw her, I was sitting in one of the waiting booths next to the train tracks in my civilian attire. I could see something shuffling around from the corner of my eye, and when I looked over, she was there – staring right at me. It took me a moment to realize that she was in fact staring at her own reflection in the colorful advertisement pane between us. It was like being on the other side of a one-way mirror. She was captivating… there was no denying that. Long blond hair, fair skin, large bust, tiny waist, legs that stretched for miles… I could go on.

But it wasn't just her body that left an imprint on me that day. It was almost like she was trying to summon something out of her reflection. Her name was called from a distance and right away she perked up, all smiles and excitement.

Who was this woman?

Upon my return to the office, I immediately started to research. Internet searches brought up a slew of superficial publicized content for Ilia, covering the occasional public argument scandal.

I cracked a smile to myself.

_Name: Ilia Rovnovsky_

_Birthdate: December 15th, 1977_

_Birth Place: Midgar_

_Bio: Wanting to be a model her entire life, Ilia finally got the chance after graduating from college. Her ambition and drive for success have made her one of the top super models of our generation, and she only continues to push forward from there. She-_

I sat back, utterly dissatisfied with the results of my search. There had to be something deeper. I sat up again, clearing my throat and typed "Rovnovsky" into our database instead.

"Day dreamin' on the job, boss?" Reno grinned as he took a seat next to me.

The others filed into the room. Lunch was quickly served and drinks were poured. Friendly banter and jokes ensued – Overall trying to avoid the topic of work. The last few years haven't allowed us to reconnect as often as we should.

"How's that joker, Joseph?" Reno with a full mouth, pointing a fork over to Elena.

"Joseph? He's great…We're coming up on 2 years now."

"He know what you do?"

"Not really. I told him I was a consultant."

Rufus snickered, shaking his head. "A consultant? Of beauty products? I can hardly imagine a viable sales pitch coming out of your mouth."

"Actually, my opinion holds a lot of weight these days – thank you very much." She shot back immediately.

Elena had definitely come a long way in the recent years. Making a name for herself within internal workings of the organization. She was a lot more focused, grown up and adapting a more professional demeanor.

"Quite surprised to hear you have much of an opinion." He snobbishly countered.

I cleared my throat, thoroughly chewing my bite of food before speaking. "A more formulated opinion as opposed to unprovoked hostility from an insecure brat?"

If eyes could pierce through me, they would have the moment Rufus looked right at me. Cherry came in with someone assisting her to pour more drinks. The tension in the room was evident. I saw Ilia passing by the pair as they worked their way around, her expression less than favorable as she glared at the new face.

The girls finished, quietly leaving the room without an instant of hesitation.

"How are things with Rafael?" I asked suddenly, trying to remain monotone in my approach.

The question surprised him, his mouth slightly dropping open before he composed himself enough to speak.

"Rafael?" Nervous laugh. "What does he have to do with this conversation?"

"Curious topic."

"Unwarranted topic."

"Topic nonetheless. We're all family here… A dysfunctional family, but family still."

"Yo, Rufus, cut the hard shit. It don't work with ya." Reno spat, stuffing a piece of his sandwich in his mouth. "You guys are fucking, everyone knows it. Just let the cat outta the bag man."

"Why are we fucking talking about this? My personal life has nothing to do with you pricks."

"I'm offended by your name-calling!" Reno protested.

I leaned back into my seat, taking a sip of the freshly poured wine. "Would it be such a bad thing to indulge a little?"

"What. You too? Really?"

"The fact that there are people who see beyond what we represent – doesn't that give them the right to enjoy our company without fighting for it?"

Rufus looked down at his plate for a moment. I was expecting a smart remark, something to shoot me down. It was almost as if he were surrendering. Whatever it was that he had going on with Rafael, it must have been serious.

Reno started clapping. What a shmuck.

"Fuckin' Bravo, boss. Well said!"

I shot a glare his way.

Rufus' cheeks started to show a hint of pink…Was he really getting embarrassed?

"I appreciate the friendly advice…" He sat up, adjusting the front of his blazer. "We've worked together a very long time. The least I could do is show you a little respect and take your thoughts into consideration."

I nodded, tilting my glass in his direction.

"No promises though." He shot back, continuing his cold stares.

"Just like old times, eh guys?" Elena chimed in. "We used to do these lunch dates all the time!"

"We didn't do it all the time, Elena – what have you been smokin'?"

"We did some.." She pouted.

"Business dates with the boss don't count."

She stuck up her middle finger, her tongue darting out of her mouth. "Not everyone can be the bosses pet." She then held up her hands and wiggled her nose between them.

"Are you calling me a fuckin' brown noser!? Imma show you a fuckin' pe-"

I slammed my hand on the table top, causing the room to go quiet. Everyone flinched, save for Rufus. I imagine he must have been accustomed to his father's manner of getting everyone to shut up.

"Keep it cordial."

Children..

"Yo, Kira isn't going to be happy that you left her out."

"It's a possibility."

"Ya guys were just getting along so well!" Reno cooed.

I sighed.

"Listen, ya gotta be gentle with Kira. It's like when I'm fucking her -"

"Gods, Reno, what the fuck – that's disgusting!" Elena screeched. Rufus chuckling from across the table.

"You gotta massage her, ease into it. She likes the warm up before the plowing."

I rolled my eyes, taking a bite of my sandwich.  
"I'm sure you know all about plowing the gardens though. I didn't know you had it in you the way you were bangin' the shit outta Ilia."

I choked, my face turning red. This guy had no tact. I was having lunch with a bunch of fucking children.

"Ok ok ok. I'll back off." He grinned, gulping down the rest of his wine. "But seriously, Rufus, stop beating around the bush. Before you know it, Rafael will be over your petty bullshit and skedaddle. Then what? You'll be rubbing one out to dated porn and eating pussy ya don't wanna eat for the camera."

He suddenly stood up, pushing his chair back as he wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Speakin' of pussay, I'm going to go pet my kitten at home." Signature two finger salute, nod of the head and made a quick exit out of the room.

"I'm really glad we had lunch together. It's been such a long time!" Elena spoke up. "We should plan for these more often.. Keeps the moral high."

I nodded, drinking the last sip of my own wine before responding to her. "We will."

Rufus shook his head, softly chuckling. "You guys are insane, you know that?"

"I wouldn't work with anyone else."

Flaws make the strongest bonds.


	24. giving him something he can feel

_[from the perspective of Rafael...]_

* * *

The _Shiva Ball_ was well underway. Every single decorative icicle was hanging in place, every table laid out with the most esquisite hors d'oeuvre, and every glass filled to the brim with the finest alcohol. _Strong_ alcohol. It was expected to be the party of the year, and with the apparent turn out, I wouldn't be surprised if the press deemed it so.

A stage was set up in the Biggs largest entertainment space, the Crystal Ballroom. I stood backstage as girls filtered in and out of the kitchens with trays full of champagne flutes; all of them wore elegant short white dresses made of lace, with an embroidery of ice crystals on the chest, complete with sparkling heels and diamond earrings. All an homage to the ice goddess Shiva. My idea of course.

I was nervous, as usual, but still in control. I've already hosted a couple of events since the Biggs opened earlier this year, but nothing as huge as this. Rufus hasn't got back to me either…..

"Where's Cherry?" I haven't seen her since I arrived, only Zoe and the usual waitresses. She looked up at me as she loaded a tray full of flutes; "Oh, she didn't tell you? She got her shift covered tonight."

Sigh. it was just like Cherry to run off on New Years, probably with that Jiro. To be honest, I'm not his biggest fan. Lately I've heard talk of the kid running off with the girls, distracting them from their work for adventurous dips in the hot springs. I don't want to be that uptight prick of a boss, but if shit doesn't get done then I'll have to put my foot down. Kira will just have to understand. How ironic I dislike the men closest to her.

"Thanks Zoe." She nodded her cotton candy head; "No problem boss!" Zoe wasn't so bad. Whatever happened in the past was in the past. People change, everyone did after the plate fell.

Three ladies in red dresses covered in crimson sequins strolled up to me. I couldn't help but crack a grin. The head, Setsuna Vega, extended her gloved hand to me. She coyly batted her eyes and pursed her red lips.

"How do we look?"

"Stunning." I took her hand and gave it a small kiss. Setsuna was a tall woman from the tropics of Mideel; long lush black hair, fair skin, buxom waist. She was an exotic flower, and the head of the Biggs own special singing group the _Meteorites_. Rosemary and Eva stood behind her, hoping to soak up a small portion of the magnetism Setsuna exuded. All three of them came from a mix of abusive ex-husbands, drug addictions, and desperation. They found structure and organization in their lives by getting a job in the entertainment epicenter of Tian Tan. That's what I did. Entertain and rehabilitate.

"Don't we always." Setsuna swayed her hips passed me towards the stage, with Rosemary and Eva tailing closely. They were beauties, and better yet, fantastic singers.

* * *

Now I expected Tifa to be here tonight, but not the presence of her date, a one Mr. Cloud Strife.

I had a tiny crush on Cloud when I first met him a couple years ago. He was the quiet and subdued type, a man who keeps his feelings constantly internal. I could totally go for that; I actually thought we could connect about the events of Meteorfall, but I decided to stay clear of him when I heard he and Tifa were a thing. He probably wasn't gay anyway, but hey, a guy can dream right?

"Happy New Years!" I exclaimed, embracing Tifa. "Happy New Years, Rafi."

"Hey." Cloud gave me a simple wave, he wasn't the hugging type.

"Hello to you too Cloud. Thanks for coming." "I thought it was a good idea to get him out and about. Plus, it just sounded fun, so how could we not?" Tifa looped an arm around Cloud's, who smiled weakly. Definitely strange energy between the two. Last I heard the couple had split, but you'd think I'd know more. Tifa wasn't the talkative type regarding her own private affairs. Pssh, and I tell her everything.

"How long do you both plan on staying in Tian Tan this time?" Just as Tifa opened her mouth, Cloud spoke up.

"Not long. Were getting loaded with jobs back at Edge." Tifa closed her eyes.

"So business is good then?" I tried not to pay any attention to the awkward tension. "Yup." he finished.

"Were going to get something to drink, excuse us." she blurted, pulling Cloud away. Now I love Tifa but she needs to lay off the sauce just a little bit and stop pretending everything is peaces and cream.

* * *

Where the hell was Rufus? Irritation riddled through my body as I searched the sea of faces. He was too egotistical to miss the hottest New Years celebration Gaia has ever seen, unless, something _shady_ was happening. And as the acting President of Shinra I wouldn't doubt he was up to _something_.

"Ladies gentleman, presenting the fabulous hidden gems of Tian Tan, please welcome the _Meteorites_!" The MC's voice boomed through the ballroom as the sparkling curtains of the stage were drawn back. The show was starting, which meant the countdown was just an hour away. The fuck man.

The live band playing off to the side began the song with a sexy yet slow bass. Setsuna and her girls elegantly strolled onto the stage, snapping their fingers in cohesive unison to the growing beat. The three singers swayed their hips back and forth as they began their synced set of ooh's and ah's. Setsuna then took the lead;

_"Many say, that I'm too young…To let you know just where I'm coming from…"_

Kira was a huge fan of dark new wave dance music, the kind of stuff they play at the skyline raves on top of the Gold Saucer. Which is fine, but this was Tian Tan's first bash for the upper tiered members of society; for world powers, wealthy entrepreneurs, and the self entitled heirs and heiresses of the rich and famous. This New Years called for something sexy, slow, and classy. A revival of old school R&amp;B would do just the trick.

The song structure had sleazy undertones, but maintained an air of shy fantasy. Honestly, my eyes shined with pride watching Setsuna flirt around the space with such easy confidence. Quickly glancing around, I could tell others were just as mesmerized-

What the actual fuck?!

_"Living in a world of ghetto life, everyone seems so uptight…"_

My eyes zoomed to the two blondes standing at the end of the bar. Rufus with…._Cherry_? This is why she took the night off? To be a fucking hoodrat? You would think working as a waitress in the most high end entertainment center on the planet would give her just _one_ ounce of class. And Rufus…Fucking Rufus probably slipped in at this exact moment knowing I'd be too focused on the performance to even notice.

Oh hell no.

I marched right over to them. I wasn't going to mope around and avoid him, _oh no_. I'm not some damsel, some battered side piece who stays silent and prays to the gods to allow me a moment of his hard earned time. Fuck that. I'm sick of it, it's the same usual shit; Secrets, lies, and cover ups…I don't play fucking games. I'm not a kid anymore.

Cherry waved happily; "Rafi! Happy New Ye-"

"_What the fuck are you doing?_" I snapped. Her expression immediately sunk. Rufus smiled; "Why Happy New Years Rafae-"

"You can fucking _can it_!" Rufus pressed his lips together firmly.

"I'm sorry if I didn't tell you before! Rufus asked me to be his date and I-I said yes…But I was so going to so totally tell you about it Rafi. I just didn't want to make it a big deal, haha, you know?"

I tried my damn best not to go off on her. It's not like she knew her date was fucking me once a week and I wasn't exactly able to make that information public after all. It wasn't her fault. It still didn't subside the feeling of picking up a champagne bottle and smashing it into her face however.

"Stop talking Cherry." I turned to the man responsible for my outburst.

"I'm not putting up with this anymore. Go find another fuckboy to play with on the weekends."

I whirled around and walked away. Let them enjoy the rest of their night.

_"I like the way we carry on, his love will send me on and on with…my man."_

"Rufus getting you down again bro?" The very last thing I needed was a red headed menace to worsen my mood.

"What the fuck do you want Reno?" I asked as I walked to the other end of the room. Maybe a buttered croissant would help matters.

"Whoa, haven't seen this guy before. I kinda like it." he grinned and crossed his arms. Reno was the type who thrived on reactions. It was his oxygen.

"I don't have time to deal with your bullshit so buzz off." I grabbed a croissant among the appetizer table and took a savage bite.

"Eating your feelings ain't going to work. I already tried that."

"Seriously, what do you want?" I muttered between chewing.

"Look, I know it's kinda awkward between us. I get it. But we gotta bury the hatch. Your one of Kira's closest friends, and I'm her hubby, so let's just all get along, yeah?"

My eyebrows furrowed together in frustration. Reno decided to grow a conscience now, or what?

"There isn't anything we can do about it, now can we? I'm over it." I waved him off, I'd say anything to get him out of my face.

"I don't know if you talked to Rufus about it, but dropping that plate was the worst decision I could have made man. It started a lot of shit."

"_No kidding_." My words felt like sizzling acid on my tongue.

"I didn't know him personally, but that Biggs put up a damn good fig-" I dropped my crossaint.

"Don't you _ever_ say his fucking name in front of me." Reno put his hands up immediately, as if it were a stick up.

"Okay, okay! Geez, I ain't trying to pick a fight." I couldn't do this. I just couldn't. Biggs, Rufus, my life now….I can't.

I turned around and closed my eyes, a couple tears escaped down my cheeks.

At that moment I felt Reno's hot breath in my ear.

"Rufus can be a way bigger asshole than me sometimes, but let me tell you something that might even the playin field…"

_"Ten!" "Nine!" "Eight"_

I could hear everyone scream the numbers as the countdown began. I stood at an isolated spot on the massive balcony outside the ballroom. Everyone was crowded around, ready to let loose with sparklers, streamers, kazoos, first kisses, champagne bottles, etc as they cheered at the night sky.

"Rafael, can we please talk?"

Rufus appeared, his expression was calm, but his eyes said something else. Guilt maybe?

_"Seven!" "Six!" "Five!" _

"What?" I replied idly. "Your going to distract me from the fireworks."

"I apologize for the stunt I pulled. I should have talked to you first-"

"I don't really care." I cut him off. He paused, feeling the sting.

_"Four!" "Three"! "Two!"_

"My actions were inconsiderate and…" Rufus couldn't find the words.

"Just stop."

_"One!" "Happy New Year!"_

And right on cue, rockets shot into the sky, exploding into fiery stars and colorful flares.

I felt my body twist around, Rufus' lips pressed against mine.

At first I felt like I could sweep all this negative energy under the rug. We'd become one under the stars and forget about all the discontent, but….I won't let him do that. Every time there's a problem he displays an act of affection and it washes my memory clean. I forget about the frustrations and I let it go. Nope. Not this time. He can't buy me with just a little TLC.

I pinched a specific spot through his clothes, on his lower back. The President broke the kiss and backed away as his body began to spasm. His knees wobbled for a couple seconds before giving out, causing him to fall.

"N-Not a-again…." he sputtered.

My eyes widened as Rufus moaned in pain. "Get me….out of here.." he whimpered as he held onto his side. The whole scene honestly freaked me out, I didn't expect this to happen.

Back at the party Reno told me that Rufus had a permanently damaged nerve on his lower back that triggers phantom pains from the injuries he retained when the Diamond Weapon attacked Midgar back during Meterofall. Rufus told me the story, he narrowly escaped with his life through a secret passage that lead him right into the broken slums. Reno told me it'd slightly sting, not send his body into convulsions!

"O-okay, sorry…" Fuck. He isn't going to die is he?

I hoisted Rufus onto my shoulder and helped him out of the party. Everyone was too fucked up to even notice.

"That was a shitty thing for Reno to divulge such confidential information." Rufus laid out on his stomach as I carefully massaged his back. We were back in my penthouse at the top of the Biggs.

"Don't say you didn't deserve it." I felt bad for causing Rufus any pain, but the man's bad karma had already reached its limit. This was its way of relinquishing itself.

"I thought giving you a New Years kiss would pardon me. It was in public after all…_Nrghh_." The blonde grunted, I made sure to ease up around the area of the damaged nerve.

At that moment I couldn't help but chuckle; "I guess your right. Still doesn't excuse taking Cherry out as your date though."

"Oh come now Rafael, you know I made her night. That girl isn't going to go any farther in life. Why not give her a taste of what it's like on the other side?"

"Your sick." he wasn't speaking lies either, Cherry wasn't the type to apply herself really.

"Do I hear forgiveness in your voice?" he asked. I rolled my eyes and slightly pressed down on his lower back; "Oops!"

"Argh! Watch where your putting your hands!" he yelped. Rufus ground his teeth as I burst into laughter; "My bad."

I think I was falling in love with this bastard.


	25. river run (i'm a big sister)

_[from the perspective of Kira...]_

* * *

I woke up feeling like shit. Numb and empty and my left arm nearly dead. Guess a night of blow and alcohol will do that to you. Times like these I felt convinced I was gonna die from this lifestyle. But it's just so easy. To get carried away.

Reno's influence wasn't helping. He was just as reckless. The second he noticed I was doing coke again, he didn't do much to stop it. Just invited himself along for the ride. What a great match we were. Everyone was getting a peek at how intense and cocooned our energy could be together… some remembered it from days long past, others experiencing it for the first time.

Tonight was the opening night of fashion week. And I was already hungover. Pre-party-pre-game? There had been a whole week of parties leading up to the week of parties that was just about to explode… life was a ball, huh?

And before tonight I had other shit to do. I left Reno passed out in bed, and I did my best to guzzle water, take a few vitamins, drink a green juice and motor my way to the South side of town. Who was I kidding… I wasn't hungover, I was still drunk. Thankfully I was an excellent drunk driver… though I suppose that's not something to be proud of.

I stood in the skeleton of what was to be a future train station. A massive hub that was to connect the North to the South and everywhere in between – Lady Mei Li was eager to get it all up and running. An above ground beauty of the latest high speed bullet trains, as opposed to the other subterranean stations around town. As I stood on the bridge above smoking a cigarette, I could picture the flow below me like a furious river running.

The workers on site stopped to wave and stare and flirt as they usually did. I was used to the cat calls and whistles, and it was nothing too offensive so I took it all in good graces. I hid behind my dark glasses and subtle smirk, walking to the manager's office.

I opened the door without a knock. "Hey Tai, how ya doing?"

He jumped. "Kira! Oh, nice to see you! Wasn't expecting your visit. H-how are you?"

"Exhausted."

He let out a funny huff of a laugh and pushed his glasses up his nose, standing up from his paper work. "What brings you here?"

"Just checkin' in. How are things?"

"Smooth. Everything's on schedule. No need to worry."

"I'm not worryin'. Just like to be around from time to time." I grabbed a chocolate from the bowl of candies on his desk and flung myself down on his crappy old sofa, swinging my legs on the arm rest. "Is there anything ya need from me?"

"Hmmm," he thought. My usual laid back attitude always made him uncomfortable. "N-not at the moment. But I'll let you know."

"Alright. Well. In the meantime, why don't you take the crew out for a round of beers after work tonight? It's on me. Wherever ya like."

"T-that's very nice of you. Thanks." He cleared his throat. "So… how is everything with you? I hear your husband has moved to Wutai permanently?"

Heh. Tai's attempt at making small talk was adorable and awkward. The guy respected me, but didn't quite know how to show his sense of camaraderie. There was something about my presence that seemed to make him nervous. Was I really that scary? Whenever I did update him on my life, it was meaningless. He was the kind of guy content with doing his job well and going home to his wife and kids, happy to provide them with a comfortable life. I don't think he quite understood the appeal of my high octane life.

"Yea, it's pretty great!" I grinned. "We been workin'… lots of projects. Preppin' for fashion week, partying… the usual."

He cleared his throat. "Wonderful. So… um… would you like a tour… while you're here?"

"Actually, I'm fine to show myself around."

"… I am not supposed to let anyone who isn't a member of the crew on site without supervision…"

I raised an eyebrow.

He cleared his throat again and fidgeted with his mechanical pencil. "But of course… I'm sure you will be fine!"

"Thanks, Tai. I'll see ya soon."

He ushered me out. What a funny guy.

I wandered around a bit, making small talk with the workers. A few of them wanted to snap their photos with me, and I played along. Afterwards I climbed my way back up to the bridge that looked over all the tracks, a soft breeze flew threw me. Sometimes I'd come here to think, clear my head. But usually at night when it was abandoned… not when it was active and loud like now. Then the wind was quiet and howled with an eerie vibe that reminded me of the train graveyard back home. It was a popular hang out for young partiers; we used to throw raves in the empty cars. Deep in the center of the yard where no one could hear the wild cries of kids losing themselves to loud techno and drugs. It was a fave place of mine to go… after Jae died.

Even Reno and I went for a while, but by then the crowd had changed. Younger. Or I guess I was the one who had changed. No one I knew was going anymore. So we recruited one of the young bucks to push for us, and moved on to a more sophisticated scene.

But I loved those days. And I imagined what kinds of things would be going on in the strange nooks and crannies that Tian Tan would one day have. A city couldn't sustain itself on only an upper class party scene forever, after all. A darker element always found its way in.

I smiled and lit a cigarette… enjoying the way the smoke dispersed into the wind. Bring it.

* * *

Later that night. I sat at my vanity primping for the party, Reno lounging on our bed. One of my designer friends, Penelope Snow was showing tonight to kick off the event. She was blowing up as of late – the perfect choice for opening night.

"Mmm ya look great baby, why don't cha come o'er here and gimme a kiss," Reno cooed as he watched my reflection; dabbing oil perfume across my neck and collar bone.

I snorted. "Oh? You mean so we can be even later than we already are? I'm not fallin' for that trick, babe."

He sauntered over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "No one's gonna care if we're late…"

"Well I care! I'm excited, and look at me – I'm fabulous." I stood and gave a little twirl. I wore black leather high waisted leggings and matching cropped turtleneck, chunky grey and white heels that looked sleek and modern. There was a floor length, fur duster draped on the bed in a powdery aqua color waiting for me – all designed by Penelope.

"I could eat ya up…" He pulled me in and trailed kisses on my neck, running his hands through my hair. "Keep ya all to myself… do we _gotta_ go to this party? Doesn't a late night trip to the hot springs sound better?"

"Reno! Stop!" I giggled. But I couldn't help but surrender to him, even if for a moment… melting into a puddle in his hands. "Mmmm you look sexy too, baby…"

"Course I do… heh." So conceited. All jokes aside though, we were both stylish. His look had also been a gift from Penelope. A sweater that faded from turquoise to white, tight black jeans, and a pair of combat boots. Was nice to see him out of his usual suit for once. And we matched quite nicely. Definitely looked the part of a wealthy power couple.

I rolled my eyes, raising a playful eyebrow. "Let's go."

* * *

We made our way past the red carpet covered in media and paparazzi. Inside the Biggs was crawling with fashion people, dressed to the nines in outrageous garb. Loose jazz music from a live band swung in the background, a nice foreign flare – a style inspired by tribes outside of Cosmo Canyon. Pretty classy and avant garde. I could always rely on Rafael to throw a bash that was upscale. Course, I had a hand in all this as well.

Up the stairs to the bar, Reno grabbed us a couple of cocktails and we mingled with friends old and new. I was a star at this part. Put me in a room of conservative business suits and I couldn't leave fast enough, but a trendy 'it' party full of artists… I was right at home. Felt good to have a taste of being back on my old game too; pointing out Andre to those looking to score.

Before the show Reno and I took a detour to one of our private booths. There we finished off our bag of blow before showing ourselves to our front row seats. Just in time too, as the lights dimmed a few moments later and the show began.

We nuzzled and cuddled as we critiqued the catwalk. The cameras were eating it up. It felt good to finally get the public recognition we always wanted from our former covert careers.

"Oooh I love that," I motioned to one of the models sashaying.

"Mmmhmm and you'd look even better in it than she does."

I covered my mouth and giggled.

"So, what's going on after this?"

"After party at Le Velvet. East side of town."

"Nice spot."

"Yea. Biggs can't take all the credit, now can we?"

"Heh. What about that techno party at DeSoto?"

"Never heard of it."

"Hah! Ya tellin' me I know more bout the scene in my girl's own city?!"

"Oh shut up. I'm busy. I can't keep track of everything. Plus – makes me happy there's shit goin' down that I don't have my hands in." I sighed. "Relieving actually."

Reno rubbed his hand along my back and neck. I sighed to myself, soaring on a high from so many levels. Tian Tan's first fashion week was going off gloriously. A few fat rails of high grade up my nose. And I was draped around my man for all to see what a marvelous couple we were. Everything was perfect.

Everything was perfect. Famous last words. That's always the feeling that preludes disaster, right? That's when it happened. One of the girls came out stumbling, couldn't keep a straight walk to save her tits. I glanced around the room. Whispers. I wasn't the only one who saw this. Reno perked up next to me.

"The fuck…?"

Another girl behind her looked to be in the same condition. That one little flaw… and the flow was ruined. What started as solid and gorgeous was interupted by a couple of little idiots that stood out like sore thumbs – unpolished wrecks. Were they drunk? Were they just unskilled? No way – Penelope would never hire a bunch of novices.

And just when things were looking tacky, one of the girls took a dive flat on her face. The other girl tripped over her and everyone looked on as they struggled to help each other up and regain their balance. Yea, definitely drunk.

Models were trained to just keep going no matter what, so once the commotion was over things went back to normal but by that point people were already distracted. Everyone was on their phones, immortalizing the disaster through social media, I'm sure. At the finale Penelope walked the runway all smiles, doing her best to cover her mortification. Everyone stood to applaud as the lights dimmed and the music grew louder. Time for cocktails and partying. And time for everyone to talk shit…

Backstage was chaos. Reno and I snatched up a few champagnes and mingled. He chatted up some of the models, who flocked to him like a group of school girls. I stood nearby sipping my drink with arms crossed against my chest, trying to look casual but probably giving off an unapproachable bitch vibe. I glanced at Penelope as she was interviewed by various media sources. She was doing her best to keep face, but I could see the stress written all over her.

Coming at me at full speed was Rafael, weaving his way through the mess of models and media and gossiping entourages. He was definitely walking with a purpose, wearing a big professional smile. He was always poised in moments of stress.

"Kira, can I speak with you please?" he said through clenched teeth. "In private."

"Sure."

"Follow me."

He took me back to the VIP area, which was way more calm than the immediate backstage space. Just a few of the girls from the Biggs and a guest or two of theirs.

"I… am so sorry, Kira." He spoke in whispers.

I looked at him perplexed. "Why?"

"The girls that caused that mess on stage… they were _my_ girls! They're aspiring models. Penelope took a chance on them and they blew it."

As I thought about it… those girls did look familiar. "Look, Rafi. It's not you're fault."

"Oh, I know it isn't. I just feel like I should apologize for their behavior. If we are really going to place blame, it's _Jiro's_ fault."

"…_Excuse_ me?"

"Yea. Some of the other girls told me they were getting drunk with him here in the VIP lounge before the show."

I let out a loud exhale, closing my eyes and rubbing my temples. "Fuckin' _idiot_. I'm sorry."

Rafael snorted. "Hey, whatever. I wash my hands clean for the rest of this week. Whatever happens, happens. I'm done trying to keep everything under control. I just popped a valium, chased it with a _nice_ glass of chardonnay. I'll be just _fine_! If you want to keep that brother of yours in check, that's on you."

Wow. This was the first time I heard Rafael talking this way. When it came to the Biggs's reputation he was always on point. Guess he was fed up with being the boss, and discreetly handing over the title to me at the moment. Want fashion week to go well? Deal with it, Kira. And here I was hoping to breeze through it in a cocaine and champagne haze.

"Heeeyyy baby!" Reno always knew when to rescue me. "How's it going"

"Well, my brother's causing trouble as usual," I sighed.

Reno let out a huff. "Want me to handle?"

"No. Not right now, we'll deal with it later." I sighed. "Rafi, will you just come party with us?"

He let out an exhale with a grin. "I'd love to."

I texted Nami and Ilia to meet Reno, Rafi, Penelope and I at DeSoto. Didn't feel like being around the rest of the fashion crew. I knew everyone would be after partying at Le Velvet or the various rooms at the Biggs – and what a great party it would be. Funny enough, all the key players were somewhere else.

We were all off our tits by then. Even Tseng was on a good one – drunk and feeling on Ilia. Those two really knew how to party, when they were so inclined. But I wasn't surprised when they ducked out early to enjoy some alone time back at the estate.

Everyone was on escape mode – drinking and drowning their responsibilities in the heartbeat of dark techno. Too many drugs and alcohol. Heartfelt speeches and cigarettes. Loving hugs and slurred words. Cab rides back to my estate. Everyone was blissfully passed out by the end of the night.

* * *

Nine in the morning and I stumbled out of my room. Reno was fast asleep. I was parched for some water so made my way to the kitchen. There I found Rafael sipping from a coffee and reading from his tablet. He had crashed in one of the guest rooms last night.

"You're up early," I said.

"I couldn't sleep anymore." I could tell he was stressed. "How do you feel?"

I groaned in response.

He laughed. "Yea, me too."

Glass of water in hand I was ready to retreat back to bed, but Rafi stopped me.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Yea, sure… what's up?" So much for crawling back into bed. I slid into a barstool next to him.

"Kira… I'm really stressed. And I hate asking this… but I'm just going to do it."

"Alright…"

He took a deep breath. "Can I please stay in one of yours guest houses? I just can't handle living at the Biggs anymore. I already talked to Setsuna, and she's totally fine managing the dorms for me. I just… everything's so…I can't…"

I could tell how hard it was for him to admit any kind of 'defeat' or even compose himself. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "Babe. It's totally fine."

He let out a sigh of relief. "Oh gods, thank you."

"Of course." I smiled. "I'll give you the house on the far North end of the estate. It's secluded and you can get some down time. I totally understand how you feel."

"That's perfect, thank you, Kira. I can pay you rent, just let me know the price."

"Rent? Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm happy to-"

"Rafi. No. Stop it."

He nodded his head. "Ok." With another sigh and serious look on his face I could tell this conversation wasn't over. "Kira… I know you don't want to hear this. But… something's got to be done about your brother. Jiro is causing so many problems at the Biggs and I just don't know what to do."

"Yea. I know. I'm not surprised. I'll talk to him."

I stood up, adjusting the kimono around me more tightly… feeling like I was gonna vomit. Ugh. I was rarely _this_ hungover.

"Are ya gonna go talk to him now?"

"Yea."

"You don't have to do it now, Kira."

I shrugged. "There's no time like the present. Gonna give him a rude awakening."

Outside was peaceful. I really wasn't wearing enough for the crisp February air. I rushed past the pool up a set of stairs to Jiro's guest house. The soft pitch of windchimes against the sound of the waterfall and stillness of the Northern Wutain landscape created winter magic. It was a nice intro to the chaos I knew was about to insue.

Inside, Jiro's place was a mess. Clothes strewn about everywhere, candy wrappers all over the coffee table, a bong filled with stale ass nasty bong water. The tv was left on, paused mid-battle on a video game. Dishes piled in the sink, empty beer bottles everywhere. Ugh. He lived like a teenager. Mom had always spoiled him – he was her baby boy, after all. I remembering having to clean his room on many occasions when we were growing up. It was custom in Wutain culture that the women waited on the men…

The double doors to his bedroom were wide open, and there he was sprawled out in the king-sized bed between two girls – the two girls who had ruined the show to be exact. All three of them butt naked.

So what else was there to do but pour a glass of ice cold water on my brother's exposed, flaccid cock?

"_Levanta te, baboso_."

He shrieked and jerked awake, the girls rudely awoken from their pleasant slumber along with him.

"_AHH THE FUCK_!"

"_Necesitamos hablar. Ahora_." I deadpanned.

"Shit! _'Stás loca_!"

His companions were moving too fuckin' slow for my taste. "You two need to get the _fuck_ off my property. Hope you had a good time last night, yeah? After you made _fools_ of yourselves and the establishment you work for, not to mention one of my friends on a very important night for her."

"We're sorry, Madam Ruiz," they murmured as they got dressed.

"_Y tú_," I turned back to Jiro. "_No tienes respecto por nadie_."

He simply rolled his eyes, pulling the blankets around him closer and crossing his arms.

"_Qué estás haciendo con tú vida? Con mi vida? Con mi tiempo y mi dinero! Todo está aqui es mío! Mío! Qué tienes tú? Nada! Sin yo._" I always seemed to revert to Solian when I was angry.

He rolled his eyes again and huffed. One of the girls had already made a dash for the exit but the other lingered behind. "Um… see you later, Jiro?"

"Excuse me!" I snapped. "Why are you still here? No one is talking to you. News flash, honey, I doubt my brother will ever take you seriously, if that's what you actually think is gonna happen. Now get the fuck out."

With that she bolted. I'm sure more rumors would spread around the girls at the Biggs of what an evil bitch I was. Good thing Setsuna was in charge of the dorms now. She was older than most the others, and her and I had a mutual understanding.

Jiro rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of boxers. "Always ruinin' my fun." He said, reaching for the bong on the floor.

"Do you have to do that right now? Is this how you start your day? With bong rips?"

He ignored me and took a hit, blowing out a cloud of smoke and having a coughing fit. I rolled my eyes, waiting for him to level out. He rose from bed with a stretch and yawn, satisfactory smile on his lips.

"_Cálmate_. Like I 'aven't seen the same from _you_. Don't get your panties in a bunch," he said in a raspy voice. As he walked past me his hand slid over the silk fabric of my kimono and squeezed my ass. "Oooh if you're even wearing any!" He snickered and disappeared into the living room.

"_Cochino_!" I followed. "I'm being serious, Jiro. You have another chance to do something with your life. And all I see you doing is the same old shit."

He plopped down on the sofa and lit a cigarette. "What's the big deal, Kira? So I like to 'ave a lil fun. So what? And I _do_ have shit goin' on by the way."

"Oh? And what 'shit' is that?"

"Don't worry bout it."

"Oh but it _does_ worry me. If _you_ got shit going on that I dunno about, it's probably nothing good."

"It is what it is."

My eyes widened and jaws clenched. "This is _not_ making me feel better. What exactly are you hiding from me?"

"Don't worry about it. I'll let ya know when the time comes, can ya just trust me, yea?"

I sighed long and deep and loud. "I _want_ to. I'm _begging_ you to not fuck things up. I'd like to be able to trust my own brother." I sat next to him on the sofa, my hand grasping his and squeezing. "I love you so much, Jiro. You have no clue how happy I am to have you back. So if I take your word for it…"

"Stop worryin', ok! Just let it go."

I didn't want to. He knew I didn't want to, but with that sweet puppy look in his eyes, I was a sucker since day one when Mom brought him home from the hospital. "Ok…"

"Ah there we go!" He flashed me a lopsided grin and pulled me into his arms. I let myself fall onto his lap and he held me, squeezing and petting my arms. He sighed contently. "Ahh seems like I 'aven't been seein' ya 'nough lately."

"That's 'cause you're too busy being a piece of shit." I looked up at him. "Anyways, stop trying to distract me."

"Ahh still wanna lecture me?" He squirmed until I stood to let him up. He walked over to the kitchen and put on water to boil.

"_Yes!_ Your behavior is pissin' everyone off."

"Hey, those girls didn't 'ave to get drunk. 'Sides. It was a lil tumble. You're blowin' it all outta proportion. Girls fall on the runway all the time."

"Yea but this wasn't just an accident. This was embarrassing and unprofessional. And it's just the icing on the cake. You're causing scenes at the Biggs, you've made your way through about half the girls by now I'm sure…"

"Heh," he grinned. "_Almost_."

I rolled my eyes. "It's noticeably effecting the work ethic there. And Rafael's stress levels have sky-rocketed. It's not fair to him that you treat his business like your personal fuckin' playground."

"Well maybe if he'd let go a lil an' stop bein' sucha control freak. He needs to lighten up," he shrugged with a smirk, sucking down the last bit of his cig before dropping it in a glass littered with butts. "An' _you_ need to lighten up as well. You're a fuckin' workaholic these days."

"So? There's work to be done! But I also party my tits off ya know."

"Not like ya used to, babes."

"And that's a _good_ _thing._ I dunno if you remember but that shit got outta hand."

"Look, ya know what I mean. There's jus' way too many rules an' regulations these days. Ya look like you're bout to lose it."

"Well life is different now. I got a lot on my plate. And anyways, this isn't about me! We're talking about _your_ behavior and attitude."

"An' what about it! It's like you're tellin' me to stop bein' myself, an' that's not gonna sit well with me, yea?"

"I'm not asking you to not be yourself. I don't care. Party and fuck as many girls as ya like! But have some respect for the people around you. Realize where we're at now. It's not like the old days when we didn't have to worry about anything. We're in the public eye now. You're my brother, so please think of how you're actions effect my friends and my reputation."

"Your reputation? Tch. Listen to yourself, Ki. Why do ya care what anyone thinks?"

"It's not that I care. It's just that I have responsibilities now to not just myself, but an entire community. _Why_ is this so hard for you to understand?"

"'Cause I dun buy it. Who cares how we come off to them? We're the ones with the power an' the money. What… ya tryin' to set an example er somethin'?"

"First off, not we – _me_. I'm the one with the money. Secondly, it's not about setting an example. It's about handling your business, being a professional fuckin' _adult_, and not ruining everyone else's good time around you. Ok? Thinking about more than just yourself… for once."

He slammed the refrigerator door and let out an annoyed sigh. I could see the muscles in his back twitching. "Yea? Think about others? And when has anyone ever thought about me? Ever looked out for me?"

"I've always looked out for you, Ji-"

"OH? Ya mean like when ya left me to rot in jail while ya came 'ere to live in your posh mansion?" He slammed down the tea cups so harshly I thought they might break.

My jaw dropped. I didn't know he was upset about that. For a moment I felt guilty. Before the reality of anger set in.

"Wait a second! Stop with the whole victim act, you spoiled fuckin' brat! You can't always blame everyone around you, at some point you have to take responsibility for your own life!"

"Yea, well I am!"

"Are you? With some kinda fucked up scheme you can't even tell me about? By pissing all over everyone else just so you can have your own good time?"

"Hey, people gotta take responsibility for their own selves right? Can't blame me 'cause y'all can't jus' relax!"

"Tch. You gotta be kidding. Don't twist my words to benefit your own selfish agenda."

"_You're_ a fuckin' hypocrite."

"Jiro! I've taken care of you my _whole_ life. And all I've gotten was the pleasure of cleaning up your messes, saving your ass over an' over. Do you even remember the hundreds of times Reno and I used our influence to get you outta trouble?"

"'Cept when it really mattered ya _fucked_ off out the country."

"We weren't even on speaking terms! So _excuse_ me for not looking out for someone who was constantly shitting on my efforts to do so!"

He was pouting now. Glaring at me. "So I guess ya thought it was _real_ fittin' where I ended up, huh? So much that ya didn't care what 'appened to me when Meteor was 'round…"

"Of course I cared. Please understand… I was going through a lot, too… and yes… I was selfish and blocking out the world."

"So guess your own flesh an' blood were part of that 'world'…" He was venomous now. I had no idea he was dealing with such issues of abandonment. He had always been so resilient and cavalier.

"No," my voice cracked. I was tearing up. "I dunno what you want me to say… it was a fucked up time for everyone."

"Yea. Musta been hard to lock yourself away in your mansion an' ignore the pain an' sufferin' of e'ryone else."

He stared me in the eye. The kettle whistling loudly behind him. The tears that welled in my eyes began to fall and I cried, feeling weak and naked under his gaze. Jiro always knew how to get under my skin and find my points of doubt and guilt. "Why are you bringing this up now? I'm trying my best… to make everything right… I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

He merely watched me weep, saying nothing. Ages passed as I cried alone, feeling all the weight of the past I had buried. Then I heard the click of the stove knob and the kettle stopped screaming. And I felt his arms embrace me.

"Don't cry…" His voice was different now, more gentle. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't've made ya cry…"

I moaned and whined, balling my hand into a fist and hitting his chest.

He squeezed me harder. "Hey, hey! No hittin'!"

"I don't wanna fight with you…"

"I don't either. Mom'd be mad if she saw us like this."

That only made me cry harder.

"Aw Ki… shhh… hey." He lifted my face towards his and brushed my tears away. "Listen. How bout you an' I spend the rest of the week together, yea? It's been a while. We'll get some dinner an' catch some shows? Like the old days, yea? You remember…"

"Yea…"

"And there's an after party t'night at this spot I like by the beach. Wanna go?"

"Ok…"

"You can keep an' eye on me that way, yea?" He cracked a grin and teased.

I smiled. "Ok, yea…"

"A'right, it's settled." He kissed my forehead and spun around to make some tea. "Ok babes, I'ma shower. 'Elp yourself to some tea, alright."

I watched his lazy figure disappear into the bathroom as he sipped on some tea, hearing the water start as he hummed to himself. I rinsed my face off in the kitchen sink and made myself a cup before leaving.

As I walked away I felt a little disoriented. What had just happened here? He hadn't said he'd change his ways. He hadn't apologized… I was manipulated as usual by my brother but too tired to do anything about it.

Something told me things would get worse before they got better…


	26. crisis

_[from the perspective of Reno...]_

* * *

Nowadays I had the pleasure to sit back and observe Kira. It was nice. After so long of being estranged, to have the time to enjoy her. I was in wonder… As to where she was today, among other things. It's not that I doubted her, but the things that made her glow weren't business or politics.

Seeing her dress for a party, dance all night, brush elbows with artists and musicians and fellow socialites… and now pleasantly drunk and singing karaoke in front of a crowd at the Biggs. Radiant. Just… genuinely feeling herself. No stress, no thoughts, no planning ahead for the next set of meetings or arrangements. Just… living. Like we used to back in the good ol' days.

Honestly… her voice blew me away more than most of the acts that played here. I know what you're thinkin'. I'm her husband, I gotta say that… I gotta feel it. But for real – her voice is thick, velvet honey that beguiled anyone into listenin'. Fuckin' irresistible.

And the way her eyes met mine in the crowd, pulling me in… well, it was a fuckin' turn on.

* * *

The week flew by. Reviving the blur of the past – sex in dark corners in crowded places, drug fueled late night parties and dancing, early morning skinny dips in hot springs. One of those morns we took the service elevator up to the top of the La Faunz skyscraper – what was constructed of it so far. We were outta our heads on E. Good fuckin' gods… it's a miracle we didn't fall to our deaths.

Yea. We'd cocooned ourselves in our own world. A strange and somewhat depraved place, where everything was pure hedonism. No one able to break through the thick, self absorbed layer of 'you're not invited.'

Well… all except one. Her brother. After their little argument, the two had decided to play nice and become attached at the hip. He wasn't so bad I guess… Doin' his best to be a good little boy. He 'ad a good sense of when I wanted him to fuck off so I could have Kira to myself. But there were a few occasions he wanted me to butt out so he could charm his sister and share all their little childhood games and inside jokes.

Really, the guy wasn't my cup of tea. Now he had potential an' all, but that was being wasted on his stubborn, childish prick attitude. Heh. He kinda reminded me of myself in my early twenties. Except with less brain cells. He wouldn't've lasted a day as a Turk…

It was beyond me why Kira adored him so much, but love is blind and blood is thicker than water an' all that cliche jazz… as they say. And for all his tom-foolery, the little twat practically worshipped his sister. Sometimes a little too much, if ya ask me. There were moments that their bond seemed a little strange for a sibling relationship to an outside observer. There were too many odd instances where I'd see him squeeze her ass. Or him toss her around on the dance floor. That was just how they were. There was an alluring air about them even so. Curious like twins.

* * *

Four in the morning and we were all drunk. Piled into the car about to leave the Biggs, when I saw Tseng and Ilia coming towards us. I rolled down the passenger side window with a grin. "Hey, ya'll wanna ride back?"

Tseng sneered and threw open the car door for a full frontal assault. "There's absolutely no way I'm getting in a car with you. You shouldn't be driving – you're drunk."

"Ahhh c'mon! Ya seen me worse. And still – smooth sailin'."

Could tell Tseng was pissed though, and not just about the drunk driving. He had seen me pull antics like this all the time and never done more than shake his head.

"You two are acting like children," he motioned between Kira and I.

"Aww lighten up, boss. Just enjoyin' some time wit' my lady."

"Oh? In the meantime, how's Rude? Have you even checked in with him?"

I blinked. "I thought you were takin' care of that."

"Of course I am," Tseng hissed. "But seeing as how you were the one on the inside, I'm sure your added insight would be much appreciated."

"I gave a very detailed report, boss…" Code for: uh-oh… I'm in deep shit.

"That's not the point."

"Tseng, can we discuss this in the morning?" Kira could barely conceal the annoyance in her voice. She clenched her teeth and whispered. "Need I remind you of the paparazzi…?"

"To hell with them." His voice was sharp. "And what's this about 'the morning'? You mean well after noon when you two roll out of bed hungover?"

"Hey, sis… ya dun need this!" Jiro butted in from the back seat.

Hah! Wrong move bro… no wonder I was usually irritated with him. I saw Kira shake her head with a stoney expression.

"Jiro," Ilia snapped. "This has nothing to do with you." She sighed, rubbing her temples. Could tell she was tryin' to keep it together. Always the compassionate one. "Look… I get that you are celebrating your reunion. And… I guess trying to… recapture the beginnings of your relationship? But need I remind you what that shit was _really_ like? The fighting, the cheating, the overdoses… We're all too old for this shit. So please, get it together."

"Look," Kira wasn't good at people telling her what to do, but still tried to keep her cool and deescalate the situation. "It's the end of fashion week and we've just been having a good time. Everything will go back to normal, ok? I'm sure Rude is fine, he's a big boy. Why are you on our case?"

"Yea! Stop worryin' and have some fun, slick!" I grinned and gave a two finger salute.

Kira continued to defend me. "Reno's got more on his plate now than just the WRO and Shinra. He deserves some downtime, ya know."

Tseng wasn't happy. Could tell by the way his jaw twitched. But he gave a sigh of surrender anyhow, at least on the surface. "Fine. Have it your way. Goodnight." He slammed the car door and I sped away.

"Damn, what a tight ass! How ya put up wit' dat?" Jiro laughed. "Hahah! Hey sis, weren't ya just scoldin' me the other day? This is rich!"

I wanted to throw him out the speedin' car.

* * *

Home. Trying to calm down Kira's helicopter spins. Good thing I'm an excellent heli pilot. I sat with her, holding her hair back as she puked and rambled her guts out.

Tonight Nami had chosen to drop the load that he was leaving for Mt. Nibel. For his materia education. I think he felt he didn't fit into our little lifestyle bubble anymore. Not that he didn't enjoy the partying… but the constant politics and business… drama and paparazzi were finally getting to him. Nami had always been a very private person.

"He's leaving me!" she cried between vomiting. Tears stained her face. She was all alcohol saturated emotion and physically exerted. Getting every last drop of liquor out her system.

"He's gonna be fine, baby," I said.

"I know… But… I'm gonna miss him…"

More throwing up. I shushed her. "I know, babe."

"I-I…I can't handle it. I'm so tired and I just need a break. I feel like I'm losing my shit and all I can do is fool everyone around me that I got it together… but look at me! Clearly I don't!" she sobbed and flailed and I did my best to calm her.

"We need to get outta the city, baby. A vacation. I'm gonna take you to the South, yea? To Mei Li. To the jungle… And we're done with all the drugs, ok? Maybe Tseng an' Ilia are right… we're taking it a bit too far."

"Yea…"

I helped her wash up and carried her to bed. Where we had sloppy sex and passed out in a drunken mess.

* * *

The next morning I woke up to Kira pulling open the curtains. She was up and packing, all chipper despite the fact I'm sure she was hungover.

"C'mon, wake up! Let's get up and go!"

"Where?" I groaned.

"To the South! Vacation!"

"Now? Today?"

"Yes! I spoke to Mei Li and she's delighted to have us."

I moaned some more, not ready to get up.

To say she was excited was an understatement. I pulled a pillow over my head to block out the sun. She responded by pouncing me, pulling away the blankets and yanking at the pillows. I whined and tugged and there was a struggle. She giggled and I pushed. Eventually she won when I felt her strip off her kimono and rub her tits against me. Heh. That was more like it…

"Aww wake up, baby," she cooed. "I promise I'll make it worth your while…"

"Mmmm…" I smirked. Suddenly my eyes drifted open and my mouth was on her. I felt her little hand wrap around my cock and she guided me to rub against her pussy. "Oooh already so wet, baby?"

"Yes…" she gasped. I pushed against her harder until I felt her open for me. I worked my way inside, feeling her spread with each thrust… and she cried out a content sigh. She moaned, and I was in awe of how much devotion I felt for this tiny creature.

It was quick. Intense. She let me come inside her. A lustful little wake up fuck to start the day. We finished packing, blaring music and dancing round the room. We showered in bubbly lathers of pepperminty soap under a rainfall of water. The view from our glass bathroom was green with misty fog. It was a rainy day.

Our luggage was packed and we were off. As we left, Nami stopped us in the front door.

"Hey…" he whispered.

"Hi." Kira was stoic and vulnerable all at once. She sighed loudly out her nose.

"I have something for you."

"Oh?"

"Yea." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a glowing little orb that fit snugly in his hand. I knew that shape anywhere – materia. Red, summon materia to be exact.

"What's this?" Kira looked puzzled as he handed it to her. I knew she knew what it was, but was merely perplexed as to why he as giving it to her. Kira was never one to care about materia.

"It's a Leviathan summon. I was doing my meditation practice with Staniv. We both had a vision… this should be yours."

Kira was dead silent, her lips a straight line. I could see the moment when her heart broke with a combination of tenderness and shock. "Thank you." She whispered and pulled him into a hug. There was a silence between them for a while before she spoke. "I'm gonna miss you."

"Gonna miss you too, girl."

"Visit?"

"Duh."

"Call?"

"Of course."

"Let me know about the scene out there," she smirked.

He rolled his eyes with a little smile. "You _know_ I will."

Nami and I embraced without more than a 'bye' and 'love you'. By noon Kira and I were on a plane, heading our way down South to stay at the Palace of Lady Mei Li, in Nan Dao, Wutai.

* * *

Mei Li was hot for an older Lady. If I 'ad had the go 'head, I woulda taken that trip to cougar town. But Kira and I weren't doin' that whole open marriage thing anymore. And I knew suggesting a threesome with a woman she looked up to as a mother figure would put her off.

The two of them were pretty buddy-buddy, spending most of the time gossiping in South Wutaian. I didn't mind. I wasn't there to converse or be social, discuss politics or philosophy or anything at all really. I just wanted to sit back and enjoy the beaches, swim, fuck my girl, drink a few cocktails, and sunbathe. My wishes were duly fulfilled.

There was something about the vibe there that breathed new life into Kira. As the days past she appeared more and more youthful and girlish. Her guard was down and I watched her splash around in the water, run through the jungle, play Mah Jong with some of the older ladies, and even frolic with Mei Li's little grandchildren.

It was a much different Kira than the one I'd seen all week. Out her head drunk or on blow or E. Chain smoking with a resting bitch face, wheelin' and dealin' with a wry smirk.

* * *

In bed. After a long night of swimming and tripping on local mushrooms handed to us by the Lady herself. The mosquito net seemed to breathe in the breeze as we came down. Open windows, moonlight, and humid air, the sound of crickets and other jungle animals. I held Kira close and pet her hair, enjoying the texture.

"Who were you talkin' to tonight?" I asked.

"Hmmm?" she hummed in that far away voice that told me she was falling asleep.

"You were talkin' to someone in the forest."

"Baby, I was on mushrooms. I also ripped off my clothes and rolled around laughing like a maniac."

I grinned. "Yea. It was great." I kissed her head. "But I dunno… this seemed kinda intense."

"Well…. ya know I see… things… when I trip."

"Like… other beings, yea?"

"…Yes."

Who Kira really is compared to how others perceive her are two different stories. There was a side of her she wasn't used to expressing around others, and she didn't share it with just anyone. It was one of the reasons she rarely did mushrooms. She was to open and vulnerable and free flowing, absorbing and being all she came into contact with – something she didn't want anyone to see and exploit as 'weak'. She knew her sensitive side wasn't an easy one to understand…

"Do ya remember… anything?"

"Yea…"

"Like what?" I usually wasn't one to pry much, but the conversation had seemed a little intense. Kira had gotten pretty upset.

"I saw Leviathan."

"Oh?" I thought back to the materia Nami gave her. My nerves jumped.

"Yea. He's huge. I only saw like… some of his scales and a part of his back. A tiny piece of his huge body… that wraps all around the planet."

"Oh… yea…?"

"Mmmhmm… he told me to stop sucking his blood. The oil. I dunno… I feel kinda sad now."

"Don't be sad…"

"Why not? He told me what we're doing is wrong. And I know it is! Why do you think I'm working with Reeve so much to find a new energy source? He told me. He told me tonight… he will take my power away from me. Whatever it takes. He will take power away from everyone, until he changes life on this planet for good!"

Her words sent chills through me. Goosebumps. The conviction. The raw emotion. The haunting sense that she was speaking the truth. She clung to me, trembling. Crying silently into my neck, trying her best to let it be a quiet release.

I was silent, holding her tightly to quell her tears. There was a strange feeling in my stomach. After a minute she calmed and I felt her drift to sleep, but I stayed awake for much longer. I thought of the dream Mei Li had told her, with the snake wrapped around her, the owl she swallowed, and Kira naked in the woods.

I wondered if she knew just how different she was… or if it was all normal to her…

* * *

We awoke in the middle of the night to Kira's phone ringing. Two weeks of bliss to be unexpectedly awoken – 5am. Anyone calling at this time was either in Midgar and not calculating time difference… or there was an emergency.

"Hello…?" Kira's raspy voice.

I could hear a murmur on the other end, but nothing understandable.

"Yuffie…" Kira sighed but I could sense she knew something was wrong. "What's up…"

After some frantic mumbles and what sounded like crying, I watched as Kira's hand clenched onto the sheets. She shook a little and I knew she was holding back the tears. Yuffie was still rambling hysterically on the other end.

Kira took a deep breath. "It's gonna be ok. I'll come back tomorrow. We'll get through this."

A long lamenting moan from Yuffie. More mumbles. I knew Kira was about to lose her shit. She clenched her fist around the bedsheets harder, taking a deep breath to cool down. "Ok… does he know?"

She listened to a few more phrases. "Ok. Wait until I get back to tell him." She hung up.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Godo's dead. And Yuffie's pregnant with Jiro's baby."


	27. gotta fake it to make it

_[from the perspective of Ilia...]_

* * *

I sat there watching Jiro squirm on the ground as he screamed from the pain of the gunshot wound. He gripped his wrist tightly as if the simple act itself would cut off enough circulation to make his hand numb. Damon held onto him through the sensations as he swore to the gods and finally passed out.

Ten minutes. A lightweight.

"About time.." He sighed loudly with a pouty look on his face. "I think he pissed himself.."

I can't recall the kind of expression I wore in those moments. I just wanted Damon moving about the room, smoking a cigarette. These detached tendencies creep in suddenly and take over body and mind. Maybe the numbness was thanks to my father. The numbness that came along with dangerous SOLDIER missions.

I guess in the end it all made me an ideal candidate to be a Turk's wife.

Surveillance photos were scattered across the floor after Jiro swiped them off the surface of the table. The confrontation didn't go as smoothly as I would have liked. We could have just told him we knew about it all – the counterfeiting and smuggling, but Kira begged me to keep quiet. And now with the latest news.. He never could make it easy on us.

I walked over and stood beside Jiro. Damon came out from the side room with cleaning supplies and gloves.

"What do you want to do with him?"

"Just take him back to the estate… Treat his hand." I nudged Jiro's face with the tip of my shoe. "I have eyes everywhere.. Your bloodline doesn't grant you immunity."

"Do you know what you are getting yourself into?"

"Chaos makes us thrive.."

"Thrive it does." He just finished pulling on the pair of gloves as I backed him into the wall behind us and kissed him.

Nothing premeditated. Nothing romantic. Just a primal urge that overcame me.

He instantly reacted, grabbing at me as our tongues danced together. His kisses traced my jaw line, down my neck and he tightly held my body against his.

"Lily.."

Coming to my senses, I pushed myself away suddenly.

With a look of defeat, he cleared his throat and I hesitated before leaving the room.

* * *

Maybe it was the adrenaline from the events of the day. Whatever it was that Damon ignited in me carried over after I returned to the estate. Tseng was in the study catching up on paperwork. I watched him from the doorway as he pushed the frame of his glasses up.

I knew he was worried over Rude. There had been zero communication from the inside, and Reno's lack of worry was beginning to show by Tseng's silent desperate measures.

"Eventful night?"

"You could say that."

He turned to me as I walked over, pushing his paperwork to the side on the desk as I positioned myself between them. I could see his eyebrow twitch – he was annoyed.

"Itoshii.. Do you have any idea how long it took m-"

"Yes?" I unbuttoned my pants and pushed Tseng's chair back to undo the buckle of his.

"Aggressive tonight too."

I pulled him out of his chair and pushed him against the desk until he laid out on top of it. "Stop talking."

His body trembled beneath my hips as I rocked back and forth. The slow agonizing tease of a drawn out grind. The palm of his hand firmly pressed against the skin of my torso, wrapping his long fingers around my hip as the other grabbed my thigh. His breath was rapid; chest heaving. We picked up the rhythm in unison, our bodies arching and the collision of our beings combined into one.

Floor cuddling could be a favorite past time you could say. Tseng and I laid out behind the desk, his tender kisses on my forehead as he played with my hair.

"I wonder what's going to happen now that Godo is dead.."

"Life will continue onward. It always does."

"You know.. For a Turk, you sure do have an optimistic outlook on life."

"After so many years of being a shell, what other options are there? With the proof of the planet reacting to our selfish tendencies and allowing us to continue with our lives after the fact… It has to mean something."

"Do you think Yuffie should abort?"

"She'll need a heir." He rolled onto his back with a sigh. "Probably could have chosen a better partner to have a mistake with though.."

"Maybe now he will clean up his act.."

"This isn't Jiro's first experience with being shot..It wouldn't surprise me if anything positive came out of it…"

To stay like this forever..

* * *

I had a bad dream. I wasn't sure when we had nodded off, but it had to have been a while. I could only recall fragments but one particular image stuck with me – the sight of myself laid out on my stomach. My hands were bloody and black mascara smeared on my cheeks. There was a small, faint green piece of materia next to my fingertips.. and then everything went dark.

I must have been whimpering in my sleep. I felt Tseng pull me in close and stroke my hair lightly with his fingers as he swayed us.

Suddenly the wailing voice of Jiro echoed in the estate at what I assumed to be Kira and Reno arriving. We shot up almost immediately and got dressed.

Peace was a very rare commodity only reserved for the dead these days.

When we finally emerged from the study Jiro was pointing in our direction, Kira's horrified face looking straight at me.

"She's a snake!"

Kira was already riled up, ushering him away and talking in their native tongue. She directed him into one of the side rooms and slammed the doors shut.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, Ilia!?" She screamed, marching in my direction.

"Kira, dear, you need to take a momen-"

"Take a moment! Don't 'dear' me!"

At this point, she was in my face, closing the gap between us by inches. I could feel the tension from Tseng and Reno as they watched, knowing how intense the both of us can be when we are angry. I knew Reno would now be stuck in a hard place, being fully aware of the plan from the beginning. I'm sure he just didn't expect it to happen now of all times.

"Don't."

"You don't fuckin' get to tell me to do anything."

"Kira, relax and listen to us." Tseng spoke up from beside me, but she was quick to raise a hand in response.

"Don't you fucking talk to me."

"You can cross the line with anyone else, but don't you dare cross it with us." I snapped back to her.

"I fuckin' trusted you! I didn't tell you to hurt him! Es mi hermano!"

" I didn't do this to hurt you – I did it to protect you!"

"Protect me?! HAH! I don't need you or _anyone_ to protect me!"

I shoved past her and she followed behind me, stomping her heels. She was far from done with the conversation. Tseng rubbed his temples, Reno coming over to stand with him. Either they would break up the heated argument or let it run its course, opting for the latter of the two.

We were now standing in the main entry hall, her back to the front door and mine towards the back. "Oh, because you are so on top of your game. Wake up Kira, the world isn't pausing to wait for you to pay attention to it."

"You are one to fuckin' talk, living up in the top plates with your cushy life and money. What do you even know about having a rough life? I bet those strung out girls at Bigs have something to do with that godforsaken Den as well."

"Kira! Enough!" Tseng hissed but Reno grabbed his shoulder before he could move in-between us.

"Stop Kira, before you regret something.."

"Stop what? The truth! You are unbelievably cruel. How could you hurt me like this? What right do you think you have?!"

The boiling point had been met and through all of the years, this was definitely the straw that finally broke the camel's back.

Blood spattered against the marble like wet paint.

Kira had lost sight of her sanity, her reactions completely void of understanding consequences and her rage got the best of her.

She had punched me in the face as I turned to her, splitting my lip. I grabbed my jaw, watching Reno grab Kira's arm tightly, hissing at her through his teeth.

"Are you fuckin' crazy babe!?"

"What!"

Tseng swiftly moved through the crowded entryway, shoving Reno aside as he grabbed Kira by the collar and lifted her, slamming her against the wall.

"Pinche cabron! Let go of me!" She struggled.

I reached out and set my hand on Tseng's shoulder to make him let go. I quietly disappeared from all of the commotion and came back with the same envelope that I had presented to Jiro and threw it in Kira's general direction.

" … What is this?"

"Proof."

I spat out blood, wiping it from my mouth with the back of my hand.

"By shooting him it was a warning and hopefully enough to make him lay low while we took care of the counterfeiting issue quietly. He should consider himself lucky that I didn't take his thieving hand."

She opened the folder to see surveillance photos and documents, covering her mouth as she looked through them in shock. Photographs of him taking bags of opium from a supplier. Photographs of him passing them on at various locations to unknown contacts. Receipt transactions for supplies to transport the drugs.

"Almost twenty years.. And you are still a sheltered brat."

As Kira retaliated with grief, her words lost their voice and I heard the echoing of another just beyond the front door.

_Spát má drahá…_

Wisps of purple mist seeped in from beneath the doorway like a slithering fog. Before I could get a word out, everyone around Kira and I suddenly collapsed. The door swung open and the hilt of a broadsword met Kira in the face. Her body slumped to the floor as the intruder stepped forth.

"Well… if it isn't _the _Ilia."

I couldn't believe it. The last person I would have expected to come through the doors, let alone being sane enough to pull something like this off, was her. The last time we had seen each other there were gossip columns about her lack of reality.

She stood there leaning into the sword as if it were a cane. She still had a slender frame, but noticeably toned. Her hair was cut short into a bob and she wore a black leather ensemble almost like a burglar, but without a mask. On the hilt of the sword rested three materia in a triangular formation – at least I knew one of them was sleep. How it hadn't affected Kira and I was another story..

"Sylvia.."

"There is a sense of loyalty that I have…" She said as she tilted her head to the side. "But it's heavily outweighed by faith."

"Faith?"

She nodded with a sinister smile. "How does something like you manage to hide under the radar this whole time?"

"Powerful allies help build the best defenses.."

"I would say."

"What do you want?"

"I got a message for ya. Godan said she's got a proposition for the ancient."

I laughed. "Ancient?"

"Do you know the attention a Cetra would bring to Godan? Gaia is recovering, and we need all of the puzzle pieces to expedite that recovery. We'll take you by force if we have to, and burn this city in the process."

" Have you lost your mind, Sylvia..?"

The smile faded as she looked down on Kira. She kneeled down to grab her by the hair and lifted her head, ready to position the blade of her sword just under the chin. "I could get rid of one problem… talk about heated arguments! Whew!"

Without thinking, I lunged forward towards them but was met by her outreached arm that tossed me like a ragdoll. In the same instance as my body fell backwards Sylvia rushed me, sliding across the floor. In a defensive motion, I lifted my forearm as her sword was raised, swiftly coming down.

This one moment would change everything.

It always only took one single moment.

"Fucking ancient is right.." Sylvia seethed through gritted teeth. Her sword had hit an invisible barrier between us, crackling with an electrical charge. I stared up at her in bewilderment, seeing a faint glow of green emitting from the corner of my eye.

Suddenly the firing of a gun startled me and her blade broke through, striking my arm.

We both yelped almost in unison.

My ears were ringing. I couldn't catch my breath. I didn't know what was happening as Tseng's body flew passed me. I searched for Kira, reaching out to her as I slumped forward onto my stomach. I could feel the sticky liquid on the marble as my earring rolled by my fingertips just like in that dream.

And then it went dark.

I remember hearing people talking.. I could see Tseng and Reno moving above me, my eyes open and body paralyzed by an undetectable force. I was drifting..

….

"How the fuck did she pull that off?!"

….

"Listen, we gotta get them out of here.."

….

"Boss, it's not going to work."

"It's going to have to. Where is Damon!?"

….

"I can't get him to respond on the PHS."  
….


	28. gomenasi

_[from the perspective of Kira...]_

* * *

_It was dark._

_The sirens in the distance wailed, dispersing further into backdrop noise. The echo of voices and music thumped through the house. All the boys were over. Drinking, passing a joint, playing video games, screaming along to hip hop. The house moved and rocked with all the music, shouting and hollering. I loved this. The only girl around in my gang fam. The queen of the roost._

_I was in the kitchen with Jae. Separating the goods from our cook up. Yes – I'm talking about crack. Not all of our business was high end coke fiends top plate. Nor was it just hood pot heads. In the depths of the slums, crack is where we could really come up. It wasn't something I was necessarily proud of, but it was a necessity. _

_Jae had his arms wrapped around my bare mid-drift as I counted and measured. My tiny seventeen year old frame petite and delicate and deceivingly innocent to how much it had already learned about the world. His moist feather kisses down my neck. A slap and squeeze on my ass. My hand occasionally finding its way to weave through his heavy, black hair._

_Blat! Bla-bla-blat!_

_The shots rang out. Jae shoved me to the ground, throwing himself on top of me. Chaos around us. A drive by. Some of the boys out __the door to investigate and fire shots back. The others shouting. There was a man down…_

_I was squirming. Begging for Jae to let me help. A struggle. He wasn't letting me go so easy, fearful there would be more gunfire. Finally he gave up, and I crawled over to our fallen friend._

_Blood. So much fucking blood. I was desperately trying to stop the bleeding. But I was young and inexperienced to such violence. Even growing up in the slums where it was everywhere, I had managed to be at least one step removed. It had happened to friends of friends, or just outside of clubs I was at. I'd seen the aftermath or hear the stories, but never before had I held a bleeding person in my lap._

_He was choking on his own blood as it splurt through his throat, painted his lips. The look of fear and desperation in his eyes. His hand gripping mine like a lifeline. _

_"Kira…" he whispered._

_No. No no no… This is not what I signed up for. This is not what I wanted…_

_"Kira… Kira!"_

_..._

"Kira!"

Reno was shaking me, petting my hair. I woke to his distressed green eyes searching me for signs of life.

"Reno…?"

He smiled in relief and it all came rushing back. I wasn't seventeen anymore, I was thirty. Jae was long dead. Midgar was thousands of miles away. The reality of my current life came rushing back in as Reno lifted me off the floor into his arms.

"Well we got this one up an' runnin'," Reno said to Tseng.

"What's going on…?"

The entryway was a blood bath. Tseng was tending to an injured Ilia. A makeshift bandage wrapped around her arm out of his shirt. When had she got hurt? How long had I been out? I could see the tears formed in Tseng's eyes. He was trying to not lose it. I'd never seen him like this before. Always so cool and collected, there was something comforting in seeing even he could be moved to experiencing extreme distress.

"You were attacked." His response was short. "We have to get help. Ilia's lost a lot of blood already."

"Where's Damon? He'd have restore materia, right?"

"He's not picking up."

I then noticed someone else in the corner. It looked like… Sylvia? Ilia's old friend? She was passed out and hog tied, blood stains on the tourniquet around her shoulder.

"Well why don't either of you have restore materia?!"

It was a good question to which neither of them had a good answer. Had our posh lives made all of us soft?

"Materia doesn't quite work that way…"

"Everyone has their own natural affinity. It's rare someone is affluent in all," Tseng explained as he finished up with Ilia and gently picked her up. He was out the door with her in his arms, Reno trailing behind with me in tow.

"And what a surprise neither of you are proficient healers. Where are you taking us?"

"The hospital. Even if we were able to heal the wound with materia, Ilia's lost a lot of blood. She needs a transfusion."

"I hate hospitals. I don't wanna go. Put me down. I have to meet Yuffie in an hour! And who's gonna stay with Sylvia? We can't leave her alone. And what bout Jiro? You're not so concerned with his injury!"

"Kira!" Tseng shouted. "Jiro will be fine with a steak and some sleep. Reno's staying here with Sylvia. You're coming with us, you could be concussed." He threw open the door to his car and set Ilia in the passenger seat. He then opened the back door for me.

"I'm fine!" I squirmed until Reno was forced to put me down. I did have a mind altering headache, but I knew it was nothing a painkiller or two wouldn't deal with. "I don't have time to go to the hospital. Shouldn't you call an ambulance?"

"Too slow, I'll get there faster." He got into the driver's side of the car. "Suit yourself. Stay."

"How fitting, she's injured on the same hand Jiro is. That's what I call karma." I crossed my arms and turned to walk back into the house.

Reno sucked in a breath through his teeth. "_Fuck, babe_…"

"I'll be sure to let Ilia know your thoughts, so next time she won't bother to save your ass. I have no need for your childish superstitions and attitude." He shouted at my back and with that he sped away.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Reno snatched my arm and spun me around, slamming the front door behind us.

"I don't have time to talk about this right now, I'm already late to meet Yuffie."

"Oh would ya _stop_ it. Burying yourself into your responsibilities, actin' like nothing happened."

"It doesn't matter what happened, because it's not the only thing happening right now! I _do_ have responsibilities, and a friend who needs me. So take care of the situation here. I'll be back." It was then I noticed Jiro was watching quietly from down the hall. "_Ven__conmigo_, _tú_."

"O-ok…"

* * *

I swear to the gods, they couldn't've picked the worse time to execute their little plan. And they couldn't've picked a worse plan to execute. Now we'd been caught with our pants down by an enemy outta the blue, and we looked like a bunch of scatter-brained, dramatic idiots. All this cushy lifestyle _had_ made us soft. And I was fuckin' over it.

Jiro was silent. I was busy sending messages and emails on my phone. Furiously texting Reno about what had happened. He wasn't very informed or responsive, seeing as how he had passed out from the sleep spell. But Sylvia had since woke and started mouthing off about Godan. Why did it not surprise me that vile woman was involved? I put away my phone with a loud sigh and closed my eyes.

"Why ya takin' me with ya to see Yuffie?" Jiro deadpanned.

"You'll see," was my clipped response. The car ride lulled me into a half awake sleep. Reno had popped painkillers into to my brother and I and insisted on calling our driver. Course that meant I'd be even later, but nothing I could do about that.

"Are ya angry?"

"Yes!" I snapped, then took a deep breath to calm myself. "Yes, I'm angry. They shouldn't have done that to you." Jiro frowned and laid his head in my lap. I pet his hair absently. "But I'm also mad at you."

"I'm sorry, sis…"

"I don't want to hear it right now. Please."

"Yea…"

* * *

Yuffie was there to greet us at the door. She looked stone faced and dejected. Something I wasn't used to seeing on her. She silently motioned for us to follow her inside, past the koi ponds and gardens, down to the kitchen. Rafael was there already, sipping on tea.

"Kira!" He stood and embraced me. "Oh my gods, are you guys ok?!"

Of course he was referring to Jiro's hand injury and the bruise on my temple. My swollen eye. "We'll be fine."

"What happened?!"

"It's a long story, I'll tell you about it later. Right now, we're here for Yuffie."

He nodded. "Of course."

"C'mon, sit down, Jiro." I pulled a chair out for him.

He was very solemn, a bit scared. Confused and worried. "What's up, guys…?"

I looked over at Yuffie and she was out of it. Puffy eyes. Tear stained cheeks. She was barely even registering our presence. How were we gonna get through this conversation…

"Yuffie…?"

She looked up at me and then glared at Jiro. "I'm pregnant with your baby."

Well that was to the point. I sighed. Guess it was best to just spit it out and not sugarcoat it with verbose formalities. Yuffie always had a flare for dramatic emotion.

The look on Jiro's face was shock and horror. His mouth gaped open. She stared at him silently for a moment before rolling her eyes and launching her attack.

"You have nothing to say to that? Ya know, I _really_ wish I could… _end_ this pregnancy. But now I'm the Empress and have to think about an heir to the throne, don't I? So I don't have the _luxury_ of doing what _I_ want! And even then… the _real_ fucked up part is I actually _want_ to have your baby! How fucked up is that!? You did nothing but cheat and lie when we were dating, and yet I still fucking love you! Still want to hold _our_ baby in my arms…" She started breaking down sobbing. Jiro sat there frozen.

"I-I'll help you anyway I can, Yuffie," he finally spoke.

"Help me!? Hah!" she snapped. "How are _you_ going to help _me_? It's not like I need money. And as far as helping me raise the child, how do you think that's going to work out? You think you're going to be the child's father by any formal means? No! I have to marry now, and marry quickly, so my people aren't suspicious that their next heir is the bastard child of a womanizing criminal!"

It was harsh, but it was the truth. She was weeping again and I watched as Jiro sat there helpless and incompetent.

"Now my father's dead, which _barely_ got an acknowledgement from you. It's not like you _care_. You're not fit to be a father, or an Emperor. _Obviously_. It's best… if you just stay away from me. Which is sad… because… I love you." Yuffie was sobbing so hard it looked painful. Rafael had his arms around her, comforting her. I was staring at my brother with eyes that said, 'see? look what you've done?'

Jiro didn't know what to say. I knew being Emperor wasn't something that even appealed to him in the first place. And as far as loving Yuffie, I knew he didn't feel that either. Yuffie was just another sweet, pretty plaything to him. Even more enticing to his ego to string along because she was a princess. I was angry with myself for not doing more to protect my friend from my brother's games. But I was never one to meddle in other people's love affairs. That was something everyone had to go through on their own. Yuffie was still so young and innocent and in love with the idea of being in love. Jiro was an easy guy to feel those kinds of emotions for.

He stood up suddenly, the chair loudly scraping against the wood floor. The look on his face was numb and emotionless. Distant."I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm gonna… wait in the car. I'm sorry…" And with that he left.

Rafael's expression was incredulous. "That's it! That's all he has to say for himself!?"

"Give him time to process everything," I said, standing up. "C'mon, Yuffie. Let's get you cleaned up."

We led her as she wailed and cried down the hall, through her bedroom to her bathroom. We ran a bath. Rafael went to go make more tea. I helped her clean her face, held her while she cried some more. Until the sobs slowed down and she lowered herself into the soothing waters.

"Thank you, Kira…" she said. I slipped away to give her some privacy.

Back in the kitchen Rafael was just finishing a tray of tea and snacks. I followed him back down the hall to her bedroom and we set up in the lounge area. He needed a break. He had spent most of the day with Yuffie, listening and offering comfort and advice. He unloaded on me the every day stresses of his life over the last few weeks I was away. We had small talk about my vacation down South. I explained to him the chaotic events I had come home to, to which he listened to with wide-eyed disbelief. Then for a while we sat quietly and drank tea, eating _onigiri_ and Wutain sweets.

"The funeral is in five days," he said. "I've invited everyone. The wedding will be on the first day of spring, the royal advisors say this is the most auspicious day for Yuffie to marry. And the coronation of the new Emperor and Empress will be the first day of May." He sighed. "Lots of events to plan."

"You can handle this?"

"Of course! I have the royal council to help me with everything as well."

"Mmm. Yea. I'm sure they're very opinionated."

Rafael sighed yet again. "A wedding in less than a month, and we don't even have a groom."

"Yes we do." Yuffie's voice. I turned my head to see her standing, still moist and rosy cheeked from the bath, a thin cotton kimono wrapped around her.

"Did you… decide on a suitor?"

She nodded her head and came to sit with us. We watched with anticipation as she prepared herself a cup of tea and shoved a few snacks down her throat.

"Well… who is he?"

"Vincent Valentine."

* * *

Jiro was even more silent on the drive back home. I guess I was too, both of us consumed in thought.

Yuffie's solution had actually made sense. Not only were they close friends who cared about each other, but he was someone who she could truly rely on to help run the country. And from a public perspective Vincent was greatly loved. He was revered as a hero, and many of her subjects idolized a romance between the two. It would be a fairytale come true – former comrades falling in love and marrying, living happily ever after. The strong and stoic Vincent rising to Emperor of Wutai. The country would be so enamored with it all, no one would stop to think and uncover the truth.

It was all so strange. The way things came back around. It's not that I felt jealous, or that I even thought anything would ever happen between Vincent and I again, but I did feel a bit like I was losing something. The option of us ever having a fling again was out of the question. Hmph. I was just thinking selfishly.

The car stopped in the driveway and Jiro and I exited. He still had nothing to say and rushed around back to brood in his house.

No. I wasn't having it. I followed, fast on his footsteps and slammed the front door behind us. The air in his house was stale. Still a mess. As usual.

"Why'd you do it. Why'd you steal from Ilia?" I don't think it was the first question he thought I'd ask. Yuffie I'm sure was the first thing on his mind, but how could he forget that he had been shot in the hand for his thieving ways?

"Ki! Can ya lemme be right now?!"

"No. I don't have time for you to fuckin' mope around. Things are moving fast and I need you to grow the fuck up. Just like you_convinced_ me you had when ya first came here."

"I dunno why I did it! I dunno… I couldn't help myself. It was just so… convenient." He threw up his hands and paced a bit before throwing himself face down on the sofa.

It was a pathetic fucking excuse. I tried to wrap my mind around Jiro's logic, or lack there of, but that was a near impossible task. His attitude had been that of cavalier narcissism since he was a teenager. Was it all for attention? Respect? An old childhood trauma that never healed? I'd always coddled him, brushed it all under the rug. But now… it was a plague in my already complex life.

"Well… I think it's time you learned to fucking help yourself! We're not in the slums anymore. Have you noticed what's going on around you?" I paused to sigh and rub my temples. The pain in my head was still there, faint but nagging. "I swear to the fuckin' gods, Jiro… How stupid can you be? It's all _our_ _friends_ in charge of currency. So at the end of the day, you're screwing your own family over."

He turned his head but the sound of his voice was still muffled. "Ya know, at one point ya woulda been proud of me. Reno too. Fuckin' middle finger to the man."

He was right. At one point I woulda cackled along side him as we screwed over the authorities. Except for now, I was part of the authorities. There were perks that came with it, but at times I felt stifled and out of place. I could tell myself I was changing the world, orchestrating it the way I saw fit… but was I really, or was it all just an illusion? Maybe the world would never change, or maybe she had plans of her own that didn't include me and mine.

"Yes. I know." I sat next to him and rubbed his back. "But things have changed. And I need you to be _here_ with _me_. Not just in your own little world, but with _me_. Maybe I don't show it… but I… need you. I can't _do this_ without you."

He flipped over on his back now, giving me those confused puppy eyes. He had been hiding the fact he was crying. "Yea?"

"Of course. You're my brother. And I love you."

"_Méimei_…" He sat up and held onto me. He used his pet name for me, he hadn't since he'd arrived in Wutai. He gripped onto me for dear life. "I'm sorry, _Méimei_. I really fucked up… really, really fucked up. But I'll make it up to ya, to Ilia… to Yuffie… somehow. I promise."

The sound of a falling winter rain began to pitter patter on the rooftop. Steady and gentle. I rocked Jiro and he was crying, though still foolishly trying to hide it. I got up and started a fire in the fireplace. He sat on the sofa and wiped his face, calming himself. I looked at him, the light of the fire dancing across his skin and I was hit with a wave of nostalgia. He looked like a boy to me. The one I used to play with growing up, took care of when Mom and Dad could not.

"C'mon." I stood him up and walked him to his bedroom, took off his shoes and jacket. He slipped out of his jeans and under the covers. He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

I was emotionally spent. All rage and anger released, I dragged my weary body into the house. It was dim and silent, someone had left a lamp on for my return. The entry way had been scrubbed clean, which I was grateful for. I made my way to the bedroom.

Reno stood looking out the window, watching the rain, dressed in sweat pants and a white bedroom was lit by a a warm fire, and his silhouette was statuesque. Peaceful and breathtaking. What a sight to see. Even in my sad state and after the events of the day, my heart skipped a beat and flesh warmed at the sight of him. I wanted nothing more than to find comfort in his arms.

He looked deep in thought, and when he turned to look at me his eyes were glazed over with the whirlwind that was going on in his head. No one would guess it, but Reno could be an intense brooder and worrier.

I peeled off my clothes down to lace undergarments. He lifted his arm in invitation and I fit myself perfectly against his body.

"Ya wait up for me?"

"Yea. How'd it go?" he asked.

"As well as expected."

"Hmmm."

"What's going on with Sylvia?"

"She's in my office. Damon an' Tseng are taking turns on guard. Already had mine."

"How's Ilia?"

"She's fine. Got some stitches and new blood in her. Lil bit of morphine. She's passed the fuck out."

"Oh."

Reno let out a long sigh, sounding annoyed and stressed. "Why'd ya hit her like that?"

"You saw what she did. She deserved it."

"She's your friend, babe."

"And Jiro's my brother!"

"Could easily say he got what he deserved, too."

"She also could've discussed it with me. We coulda worked something else out. Instead of her going behind my back. It was incredibly disrespectful." My hands were balled into fists and my body had gone tense. It wasn't hard to get me worked up. Clearly I had a temper.

"Hey now… I ain't tryin' to get you all riled up. I don't wanna fight with you, baby. I got your back no matter what, ok? It's just… I wish it had all gone down different…" He kissed my temple and held me closer, soothing me with his touch. I let myself relax into him. I enjoyed the oscillation of our breathing and the comfort of body heat. After the drama of the day, I felt relieved to have him here with me again.

"Yuffie's gonna marry Vincent."

He chuckled. "Huh. Guess that makes sense. When's the wedding?"

"March 20th."

"Whoa. Not much time."

I shrugged. "There's no time to be had."

Another silence. Reno was massaging his forehead and jaw with eyes closed. He shook his head and rolled his shoulders. It was as if he was trying to shake off the day. "C'mon!" He said and swung me over his shoulder. He tossed me unceremoniously onto our bed and grinned like a wolf. He let his hair out of the pony tail and roughly scratched his scalp, sending the long strands flying into disarray. He crawled over me, hair tickling against my skin. He looked at me with smokey eyes that killed me, taking my face firmly in his hands and kissing me. Possessive.

"Ya shouldn't've run off like that. Ya coulda been seriously hurt! Gotta think about takin' care of yourself, even if just for my sake!"

"Shoulda, woudla, coulda – I'm fine. You know how resilient I am." I teased with a wink.

He growled and bit my neck. "Ya fuckin' brat. You're lucky! Your bruise is already goin' away, though."

I giggled and struggled against his body weight pinning me down. "I heal fast." Now his brows were furrowed and I searched for what the emotion was written across his face. It was concern. "Hey, I'm ok. Alright?"

"I know," he murmured. "It's just… seeing you hurt like that got me all fucked up."

"Well… now ya know how I feel every time you go away on assignment."

"This is different. Danger is part of my job. It's who I am. But you… you shouldn't have to-"

"Reno. Stop. You know my life hasn't been a cake walk. Please, we're not so different."

"Yea yea I know… doesn't mean I gotta like it."

"I don't like it either. But it's our life."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and he burrowed into me. We held each other so tight that our breathing became one,surrounded in the elation of no space between us. His skin was my skin. His mouth and tongue my own. His heartbeat and the rush of his pumping blood the same as mine.

Waves ran through us. A squeeze, a pet, a stroke. A moan of anticipation. Drawn out kisses, locked eyes. No time. The in and out and in and out of our breaths. Oh how we could work each other into a frenzy over the simple act of just being close to one another.

It was a different. He knew it. I knew it. Rare. Like nothing either of us had with anyone else. Maybe it was why after all the years, all the fights and volcanic eruptions, sleepless nights and doubts… we always ended up back in each others arms.

I ran my fingers through his hair. He parted my thighs. I felt him blazing hot against me, so intently working his way in until finally he was buried inside and we exhaled in release. A moment of stillness. Then an entrancing rhythm.

This is where I wanted to stay. In the place where there was no need for mind. No more arguments and hurt feelings. No meaning other than us.

"I fuckin' love you…"

* * *

In the morning, we were all lazily filing into my office for a meeting. One of the things I had been furiously texting about last night in the car ride to Yuffie's. At the moment it was only Reno and I plus Tseng and Ilia.

"Good morning," Tseng spoke from his seat.

"Mornin', boss." Reno's sleepy drawl.

"…_Tseng_."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Still with the attitude? Please Kira, let's handle things like adults."

"Oh? And shooting my brother in the hand was an '_adult_' move, _Director?_"

He had nothing to say. Just an annoyed sigh in the back of his throat.

I took my seat at the head of the table while Reno made us espressos at the machine in the corner. I glanced at Ilia – her arm bandaged and in a sling. She looked solemn and meek, not her usual confidant, classy self.

"Ilia."

"Kira."

"Alright," I said, ignoring the emotional tension for now. "Tseng – you got my email about the security issue?"

"Of course."

"Great, look forward to hearing your ideas." He simply nodded. I turned my focus to Ilia. "Will you please tell me exactly what happened last night."

Reno set down cappuccinos for us both while Ilia began to describe the scene. Sylvia putting us all to sleep. Some nonsense about Ilia being an Ancient. Working for Godan. How she meant to take Ilia away. Extreme measures to heal Gaia. I was sick of people and their 'extreme measures.' Sounded to me like Sylvia was completely off her rocker, but that wasn't a surprise. The girl had always been a little touched. But the thing that irked me most was Reno and Tseng's tight lipped, knowing glances between each other. I had the feeling they knew something they weren't yet ready to own up to.

"Why would she think you're an Ancient? They're all dead… and don't they have super powers or something?" I furrowed my brows.

"Well judging by that lil barrier Ilia was able to muster, I'm a bit curious myself, babe," Reno spoke.

"And another thing," Ilia continued. "It wasn't just me… when everyone else passed out from the sleep spell, you weren't effected either, Kira. When Sylvia barged in she knew to knock you out immediately."

I gave her an incredulous look and raised one eyebrow, stone faced before I burst into laughter. "What, ya tryin' to say apparently I'm an Ancient too?! Oh that's rich." I snorted.

"I'm not trying to say anything. Trust me, I think it's just as far-fetched as you. I'm only reiterating what I saw."

There was a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. A mixture of fear and excitement. But I didn't want to talk about that right now, or even really acknowledge what it was I was feeling. I could only stare silently while a few of the others lingered into the room.

It was Jiro, dressed in black sweats and high top sneakers. Geez, good thing this was a casual meeting between friends. He still looked half asleep and I'm pretty sure he was high, telling by the dank smell evaporating off of him. I tried not to be annoyed. Old habits die hard, but it was especially irritating with everything going on.

Next came in Rafael. Looking sharp, bright eyed and bushy-tailed, carrying a messenger bag. He was dressed in his normal business casual attire, as I'm sure he was heading to the Biggs afterwards. He didn't fool me. I knew he was trying to hide that he was stressed about his duties and disturbed about last night's events.

Jiro took a seat next to me and reached for my coffee. I slapped his hand away and motioned my head towards the machine to help himself. He shrugged and gave me a look like he had no idea how to work the damn thing. Rafael was over there prepping his own hot beverage, so I asked him for an extra. My brother squeezed my knee affectionately.

Next to me Reno sat with legs spread wide, casually resting one foot on his knee and absent-mindedly squeezing my hand that rested on his leg. He was either sleepy or deep in thought or a little of both.

Damon was the last to enter, with his usual relaxed resting bitch face. He sat at the far end opposite of me, propping his boots up on the table, lacing his hands behind his head. Cigarette tucked behind his ear. Tseng gave him an expectant look, to which he replied. "Don't worry. Got one of my best guys with Sylvia." Tseng nodded in approval and went back to his usual impassive expression.

"Thanks for coming on such a short notice, everyone." I stood. "So where were you?" I cut straight to it, addressing Damon as my first target. He gave me a nonchalant look. "Last night when we needed you, and you didn't answer. Where were you?"

"Finishing up at the police station. I had some things to take care of with the counterfeiters."

"Exactly," I looked around the table, all seriousness. "Damon can't be around to save our asses all the time. And gods know that Reno and Tseng are useless when it comes to healing. So in an emergency like last night, what do we do? Suggestions?"

Rafael lifted a tentative finger. "Potions? Do we have any in the house?"

"Nah, man," Reno shook his head. "Those aren't for healin'. More like juice to keep ya goin' in a fight. Get your adrenaline pumpin'. Trust me, ya don't wanna use those lightly."

Rafi nodded in response. His face told me he didn't feel like his experience level fit in to this meeting. Not to mention he was pale with discomfort as his mask was slipping. He looked between everyone, trying his best to calmly take it all in.

"Tseng?"

Tseng cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. "Yes. We need to tighten security here, and I suggest at the Biggsas well. Clearly Ilia and Kira are being targeted. And like Kira is implying – Reno, Damon, and I won't always be around. We need to make sure there is always someone here with the necessary skill set to ensure we don't have a repeat of last night's events."

"I agree."

"I suggest we bring in some veterans."

"You mean…?" It was Ilia who was curious.

"Yes. I've already spoken to them and they've accepted. Rufus has consented to reinstate the contracts of former Turks: Ruluf, Alvis, and Freyra."

Well. Even I was a little shocked. Good fucking plan. I already felt safer knowing those three would be around. It'd been years since I'd seen any of them… this was gonna be interesting. "Fantastic. When do they arrive?"

"Differing times within the next few weeks."

"We can't get them here any sooner?"

"They all have lives, Kira. Lives they're abandoning for our sake. We're lucky to have them at all." Tseng gave me a look that said, 'this is how it is Kira, deal with it.'

"Understood. Thank you, Tseng."

"Also," he continued. "Going forward – everyone who can use materia – please keep it equipped. Any jewelry or talismans anyone has to ward off various ailments, also please keep on your person. I find it rather embarrassing and unacceptable that Sylvia's sleep spell was able to effect Reno and I."

He nodded once with his eyes closed and hands clasped in front of him, elbows resting on the table. Whenever he had this look I wonder how much of it was a poker face, or how much of it was to hide he was exhausted. Maybe it was a little of both. He always reminded me of an arrogant, regal cat.

"Yea. That ain't gonna happen again," Reno assured everyone.

"Good," I said, looking around the room that everyone was paying attention. "Moving on. Next matter of business… I need to know that everyone here is on my side."

That got a strange look. Of course I'm sure everyone assumed they were on my side after all. But shit was getting real and lip service without the actual follow through was useless to me. As things stood, from the outside we looked like a clan of prissy cats swatting at each other. No. We needed to be a unified front against the enemy.

"What kind of question is that?" Tseng said arrogantly. "Of course we're on your side, Kira. Everything we do is to protect you."

"Is it? And in all this effort to 'protect me' have you once asked for my opinion? Informed me on what the fuck is going on?"

"You don't need to know-"

"I'm really fuckin' sick of hearing that," I spat. "In case you've forgotten, _I'm_ the boss around here."

"Wow. Your ego really is Rufus Shinra sized these days, Kira." Ilia sneered. That got a rise out of her.

"This isn't about ego! This is about respect! And reality! I'm sick of being left out of important decisions and kept in the dark. How am I supposed to be in the position I'm in yet no one wants to tell me shit?! History lesson guys – you may all think I'm some drugged up party girl, but I work my ass off! It's been almost exactly ten years since I met Reno and we built this empire. And even though I couldn't've done all this without him, it was _me_ running everything. Reno was too busy off being a Turk! So it all fell to me. And it was a _lot_ of _work_, some of it _not_ very pretty. So if all ya'll want to protect me, ya'll need to learn to stop treating me like a porcelain doll that needs to be handled with care and open your goddamned mouths! If ya'll gonna act like a bunch of thugs and go shooting my baby brother, let's not forget who you're really dealing with!" I was standing now, my voice was near a shout. The whole room was staring at me, holding theirs breaths so it seemed. My lungs heaved and I took a gulp of coffee.

It was Ilia who challenged me. "How are we supposed to trust your decisions right now when you think shoving kilos of blow up your nose and partying is the priority?"

"_OH_. _You_ are one to talk, bitch. Opening a fuckin' _opium_ den?! On _my_ property no less. What makes you think you got it so much more together than I do? You're always tryin' to act like you're so composed, and I have no idea why. 'Cause you're the daughter of a SOLDIER? 'Cause you were born with a fuckin' silver spoon? You've been lookin' down your nose at me from day one."

"That's not true, Ki-"

"Bullshit! It's always been secrets and restrictions with you. Keepin' me around for entertainment and to help you out with whatever little habit _you_ had at the time. And now that I'm in a position of power, you just gotta find something to one up me on."

Ilia blinked. "How can you think that? I -"

But I wasn't done. "And now – _and now!_ – tryin' your hand at being a _thug_, huh? Well ya know what, I gotta lil idea. Ya know what we woulda done back in the slums? You wanna know? Well, goes like this, see – when one of us fucked up, we all fucked up. We all paid the price. 'Cause we were a family… connected. Blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh."

"What are you-"

"I'll tell ya what. It's our turn now. We're getting shot, just like Jiro. Tie our hands together and let the blood flow, babe."

Tseng shot up. "I will not stand for this."

"Are ya fuckin' nuts, babe?!" Reno grabbed my arm.

"Am I? Tch. We're all thugs here, right? What's the matter, she can't show up?"

"You're over the edge, Kira." Ilia shook her head, horrified.

"Is she?" Damon came behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. "Lily… try to understand where she's coming from. I know you haven't had an easy life, but you and Kira are from different worlds. If you're gonna live in hers, play by the rules."

"If you think I'm going to step aside and let one of you shoot my _injured_ wife, you're wrong," Tseng seethed. "This is lunacy! It's-"

"Tseng," Ilia silenced him. She stood, smoothing back his hair. She put a finger to his lips and kissed him once. "Maybe it is lunacy. But think about it… that's how she must feel about Jiro. I understand now… we're all in this together. If one of us is hurt we all are. And if last night is an indication of what's to come, we need to stop fighting amongst ourselves. This is a peace offering."

"A peace offering!? This is-"

"Tseng! I'm stronger than you give me credit for sometimes." She turned to face me. "I'll do it."

"_Daaayum_!" Jiro's lazy voice. Everyone turned to look at him. The first time he said a thing the whole meeting. "You're a boss, sis!"

"_You_ shut your mouth!" I gave him a look that was a cross between anger and pleading desperation. "You cannot fuck up _ever_again, you understand? Or I swear to the gods there's nothing I can do to help you."

He gulped with a nod. "Yea. Yea… I got it."

Reno snickered. "She ain't holding me on a leash anymore after this, slick."

I caught a glimpse of Rafael's face and it was pure terror. "I don't… have to stick around to see this do I?"

"Of course not, yo!" Reno slapped his shoulder. "Leave the violence to a buncha gangsters like us!"

* * *

It was freezing outside. Serene winter sky, pale grey and white with flat clouds playing against the mountains. The ground moist with last night's rain. The greens so vibrant. The air crisp and moist and refreshing.

Rafael had been adamant about not having to stick around to watch the freak show that was about to ensue, but now he lingered, not able to take his eyes off the train wreck. He stood with arms tightly wrapped around him, sheltering himself from either the cold or the intensity of the morning violence. Or both. His gaze studied the bindings that Reno wrapped around mine and Ilia's hands.

"Sure bout this, babe?" Reno asked, but his tone was casual. There was a tiny smirk on the corner of his lips. I knew he had been in similar situations before, and I knew secretly he was proud of me.

I stuck out my tongue. "You already know the answer to that." He chuckled under his breath, giving me a quick kiss on the forehead and stood back.

Despite my attitude, I was not loving this situation. My stomach was in somersaults and heart pounding. I felt nauseous. But I couldn't change my mind now that I'd opened my big mouth. Even so, I stood by my decision and the reasoning behind it. Next to me Ilia was shaking, eyes closed as she tried to meditate her way through it all.

Tseng stood stone still. He hated this idea, but I could see the comprehension in his eyes. It was taking all his strength to not run to Ilia's side. It was understood she wanted to go through this without him holding her hand.

Meanwhile, Jiro was gripping onto me like a child to a mother. He was sobbing, no longer trying to hide it. What an emotional twenty-four hours it had been for him. "Ki – I love ya. I promise… I _promise_ – I'm not gonna fuck up again. You're amazin', sis… you're like… my hero-"

"Cá_llate_! You're making me anxious. Back off and let me do this."

He nodded and wiped his tears, taking his place by Reno, who swung his arm around his neck and gave him an encouraging grin. Well, if nothing it made me happy to see them getting along.

Damon loaded his gun. Of course it was him. Neither of our men would agree to shoot us, and Jiro was in no position to do it. It fell to Damon to be neutral. As usual.

"Alright," he said. "I'm not gonna warn ya. Better to not know it's comin'."

Ilia grit her teeth. "Just do it."

"It'll come when it's gonna come."

"Ilia," I said.

"What?!"

"I love you."

"I love you, too. You crazy b-!"

The gunshot rang out with a deafening crack across the Wutain countryside. Mine and Ilia's screams echoed in unison. A murder of crows cawed, their wings loudly flapping as they scattered. The two of us writhed on the blood splattered grass, wailing and groaning. Hot pain burned in our hands, and in that moment we were one. Through our suffering, our flesh and blood. The foolishness of our petty trifles washed away. I rolled onto my back and stared up at the blank sky, clutching my hand. I suddenly burst into laughter as I felt the beginnings of Damon's cure spell tingle in my hand.

I glanced at Ilia and she was grimacing at me, tears streaming down her face. The look of hurt and anger, betrayal and abandonment. Then guilt, compassion, love. Connection. Transcendence. She cracked a smile and joined in my laughter. Soon we were both cackling on the ground, like two idiots. Under a winter sky.


End file.
